Robin Roberts, Jason Collins,Derrick Gordon, Michael Sam dating white gays why?

[IamNoah]

You might want, frankly, to slow the fuck down and read my other posts on this thread.

I responded to a single specific post you made. The response you've given back is a response to arguments made somewhere by someone no doubt, but not by me, and not in the post you appear to be making an attempt at responding to.

 

[IamNoah]

Oh then I agree broadly. The post you're responding to however is about exclusionary language not the actual preferences themselves. And not dating X white guy surely harms no one. Repeatedly experiencing racial micro-aggressions in which people very clearly reject you because of your ethnic origins "No blacks. No Asians. I'm not racist." is however intensely harmful.

The actual preferences in and of themselves are probably a form of soft racism that only exposure and a shift in cultural attitudes will change. But the comfort white gay men feel in publicly owning some version of "black guys and Asian guys are undesirable" is problematic.

 

[IamNoah]

Simplest answer I've ever given to anything: nope.

 

[Kulindahr]

Lots of neutrinos.


I find it interesting that no one seems to be paying attention to the fact that sociologically, these men are the pioneers who will break the mold so that later men don't have the same pressures on them evidenced by this thread. Whatever their motives, they are pushing the door open wider.

 

[LuckysRevenge]

Lots of neutrinos.


I find it interesting that no one seems to be paying attention to the fact that sociologically, these men are the pioneers who will break the mold so that later men don't have the same pressures on them evidenced by this thread. Whatever their motives, they are pushing the door open wider.

That's not really how it works.

 

[IamNoah]

I think racializing sex and beauty is *weird* and that is harmful to everyone all the time, BUT really people are free to like what they like as long as they aren't assholes, the more guy X excludes, the more hotties are left for me (should my husband and I ever allow playing with strangers). I'd object to the language of praise just as I do to the language of rejection--I do my best to not strongly form opinions about what people do with their bodies though. (I hope that makes sense lol)

I have certain things that really turn me on. Some of those things are wayyy more likely to occur among people of Northern European descent than among people of say Native American descent. (Red hair for instance is a major turn on for me)

My blonde haired, blue eyed, sexy little twink husband is strongly physically attracted to men that meat his own description. He's fell in love with a thin, light brown skinned, mixed race person with very dark brown hair, and dark brown eyes.

Life does things.

And humans despite everything really do relate to one another as individuals not as representatives of types, categories, races, religions, and ethnic groups. (at least after getting over the initial labeling, categorizing, etc)

 

[xbuzzerx]

If white men were generally less assholish an borderline racist in the way they express those attractions, preferences, I think Asian and black men (the two groups most often singled out for clear, loud, and verbal rejection) would be much less inclined to think "No blacks, no Asians. I'm not racist" was just douchebaggery and not an obviously racist statement from a baby Nazi.

Virulent, your response indicates you think that cabals of minorities will show up at your door to interrogate you about why you haven't dated a certain quota of a certain race.

We're talking about something more like this:



So does this guy just have an innocent preference, or did he just insult an entire group as undesirable and effeminate?

Noah said

The actual preferences in and of themselves are probably a form of soft racism that only exposure and a shift in cultural attitudes will change. But the comfort white gay men feel in publicly owning some version of "black guys and Asian guys are undesirable" is problematic.

and I would agree that's the problem with it. It's completely normal/okay for white guys in the gay community to "express their preferences" this way. It's okay for you to have a preference. We're gonna have a problem if the way you feel entitled to express it reduces my whole group to something you toss in the garbage or accept only when you're too old or ugly to get anything else.

 

[IamNoah]

I think racializing sex and beauty is *weird* and that is harmful to everyone all the time, BUT really people are free to like what they like as long as they aren't assholes, the more guy X excludes, the more hotties are left for me (should my husband and I ever allow playing with strangers). I'd object to the language of praise just as I do to the language of rejection--I do my best to not strongly form opinions about what people do with their bodies though. (I hope that makes sense lol)

I have certain things that really turn me on. Some of those things are wayyy more likely to occur among people of Northern European descent than among people of say Native American descent. (Red hair for instance is a major turn on for me)

My blonde haired, blue eyed, sexy little twink husband is strongly physically attracted to men that meethis own description. He fell in love with a thin, light brown skinned, mixed race person with very dark brown hair, and dark brown eyes.

Life does things.

And humans despite everything really do relate to one another as individuals not as representatives of types, categories, races, religions, and ethnic groups. (at least after getting over the initial labeling, categorizing, etc)

typo's sorry.

 

[xbuzzerx]

Are your friends mostly white? Some white people in the U.S. tend to regard almost any acknowledgment of race as racism -- which is how they get the odd idea that "they're just as often the victims of racism as anyone else."

Mind you, I'm not even entirely white, but I pass. Not that it matters, and I recognize that I would never be perceived as anything else, but the people accusing me of rejecting them out of racism didn't realize that I am partially of the same race as them!

As this thread itself shows you, this happens in every group. Heck this thread is about accusing/assuming a black person is "only into whites/rejects blacks" if they're dating a white person.

 

[xbuzzerx]

Unlike the OP, I won't cast out any blanket statement with regards to someone else's preferences. However, it's always possible a preference is not just a preference and does in fact come out of some kind of bigoted social attitude or social view created by the greater mainstream. Have you ever heard black men (or even nonblack men) say something to the effect of: I don't date black women because they're too demanding/controlling/just want you to spend money on them? Or they're too controlling/domineering/loud/pushy/aggressive? The flipside happens too. I can't even tell you how many white guys chase after Asian girls, and while yes, some of them just legitimately think Asian girls are super cute, listen to what they say about "Asian girls" sometimes: It's all the Hollywood created stereotypes basically amounting to: oh but they're so quiet/nice/subservient/pleasant/sweet (compared to "non Asian girls.") There are definitely white guys who think marrying an Asian girl means they will be marrying a waitress who will make them food and do their laundry and clip their toenails for them and never complain about it.

So, it's complicated. I think there are just preferences and we all have them. But I don't think they're created in a vacuum, and when so many people share some of the same preferences towards the groups most depicted positively and beautiful in our culture, and away from the groups not depicted that way, it's rarely devoid of any of the prejudicial influences in society, even if the individual him/herself doesn't regard themselves as consciously adopting that preference out of bigotry against a group.

 

[Kulindahr]

That's not really how it works.

According to my sociology and history classes, it sure does. Someone has to break the barriers until a thing becomes commonplace.

Heck, my grandma's talks about how none of the Swiss around here would let their kids date any Irish for a long time. That got ended because there were Swiss Roman Catholics who had no problem with their kids dating other Catholics, even if they were Irish. Several generations later, everybody in the valley is pretty much related, so it doesn't matter what the last name sounds like.

 

[Kulindahr]

Like some guys here who learned Spanish so they could go to Mexico and find a "good obedient Catholic wife".

 

[MorrisseyX]

This is what is sad so few black gay public figures that are out and they ALL date whites that is messed up. How is it being a pioneer screwing a white man? Do you think black people do not give a side eye to these oreos? It also sends a bad message to black gay and lesbian you sleep with whitey and you get mainstream acceptance.