sb - Archived Blog Posts

[sb]

I woke up alarmed
I didn’t know where I was at first
Just that I woke up in your arms
And almost immediately I felt sorry cause I didn’t think this would happen again
No matter what I could do or say
Just that I didn’t think this would happen again
With or without my best intentions
What ever happened to a boyfriend
The kind of guy who tries to win you over
What ever happened to a boyfriend
The kind of guy who makes love cause he’s in it, and

I want a boyfriend
I want a boyfriend
I want all that secret old shit
Like letters and sodas
Letters and sodas

You got up out of bed
You said you had a lot of work to do
But I heard arrest in your head and almost immediately I felt sorry
Cause I didn’t think this would happen again
No matter what I could do or say
Just that I didn’t think this would happen again
With or without my best intentions

I want a boyfriend
I want a boyfriend
I want all that secret old shit
Like letters and sodas
Letters and sodas

I can feel it in my bones
I’m gonna spend another year alone
Fuck and run
Fuck and run
Even when I was seventeen
Fuck and run
Fuck and run
Even when I was twelve

You almost felt bad you said that I should call you up but
I knew much better than that
And almost immediately I felt sorry
Cause I didn’t think this would happen again
No matter what I could do or say
Just that I didn’t think this would happen again
With or without my best intentions

I can feel it in my bones
I’m gonna spend my whole life alone
Fuck and run
Fuck and run
Even when I was seventeen
Fuck and run
Fuck and run
Even when I was twelve

 

[sb]

Walking through the rooms in my head
I came across your image
You looked at me with that sweet smile and said
Something they won't let me repeat
We hurt the ones we love the most
It's a subtle form of compliment

I don't care if you talk about me
I don't care if you write it out in stone
Whenever I fall I land on my feet
I don't care, I just don't care

Mark the spot you hate with an x
Then shoot your bow and arrow
Do your worst get it all off your chest
I'll hold my breath and swallow
We hurt the ones we love the most
It's a subtle form of discipline

I don't care if you talk about me
I don't care if you write it out in stone
Whenever I fall I land on my feet
I don't care, I just don't care

I don't care if you act like a queen
I don't care if you take it out on me
I've got 9 lives and I land on my feet
I don't care, I just don't care

 

[sb]

0-9 82mb
A 1.53gb
B 1.48gb
C 1.50gb
D 1.64gb
E 774mb
F 406,b
G 1.03gb
H 357mb
I 207mb
J 775mb
K 1.12gb
L 1.14gb
M 2.45gb
N 999mb
0 33mb
P 1.93gb
Qr 598mb
S 1.75gb
T 1.89gb
Uv 587mb
W 219mb
Xyz 198mb

 

[sb]

I danced for a while
And my moves
Would make you smile
Oh, I loved you then
My dear chemical lover

You veiled me in your haze
Like a puppet in your lace
Amazing disgrace
From your
Silverspoon substance

You took me away
Made Monday a Saturday
You stained me with love
And left me in dirty laundry
But I left my ground
For a minute

Your body in my veins
Your power is what remains
You know I never had
Such a bad
Bad comedown

You took me away
Made Monday a Saturday
You stained me with love
And left me in dirty laundry
But I left my ground
For a minute

My oh my
You took pride
In my fuck-up

I've been cursed
And I've been hailed
I have blown it
And I've inhaled
But I never had
Such a bad
Bad comedown

 

[sb]

Just when everything was making sense
you took away all my self confidence
now all that I've been hearing must be true
I guess I'm not the only boy for you
thats what I get
thats what I get
thats what I get
thats what I get
how can you turn me into this
after you just taught me how to kiss you
I told you I'd never say goodbye
now I'm slipping on the tears you've made me cry
but thats what I get
thats what I get
thats what I get
thats what I get
whys it come as a surprise
to think that I was so naive
maybe didn't mean that much
but it meant everything to me
thats what I get
thats what I get

 

[sb]

miracle of miracles
look what the night dragged in
its a pocket full of misery
with trouble on the wind
you spoiled the best years of your life
you took them all in vain
now you think that you're forgiven
but you can't be born again
and you say why
you say why
don't ask me why
I don't love you anymore
I don't think I ever did
and if you ever had any kind of love for me
you kept it all so well hid
promises sweet promises
you kept them from your mind
like all the lost forgotten things
we never seem to find
like all the disappointments
you displayed upon your shelf
now you've got no one to turn to
you've got no one but yourself
and you say why
you say why
don't ask me why
I don't love you anymore
I don't think I ever did
and if you ever had any kind of love for me
you kept it all so well hid
you spoiled the best years of your life
you took them all in vain
now you think that you're forgiven
but you can't be born again
and you say why why why why
I don't love you anymore
I don't love you anymore
I don't love you anymore
I don't love you anymore

 

[sb]

In my life
wasted
opinion
distracted
basically growing like vegetable
stowing the secret I already know
one victim
reaction
waiting
wasting
I sit on the table
my life in a blink
my head is revolting
I shudder to think
I sit on my hands
you've taken my silence as total compliance
how could you feel any other way?
I'm spending my life and you're reading my lines out
why did I tell you how I play it?
wondering what if I crashed into feeling
could I get away with it?
you've stolen my wallet with all of my soul in it
picking my pieces and pissing in my pocket
I like you
we can't see
I wish I could wake up
you've stolen my wallet with all of my soul in it
picking my pieces and pissing in my pocket
sit on my hands
I sit on my hands
how could you feel any other way?
I'm spending my life and you're reading my lines out
why did I tell you how I play it?
you've taken my silence as total compliance
how could you feel any other way?
wondering what if I crashed into silence
could I get away with it
I like you

 

[sb]

I've seen so many faces
these hands have lied before
I've kissed so many lips
its blocked my mind
I've whispered bullshit nothings
I've cried alone at night
I thought I found the one a million times

I let a stranger love me
I gave away my pride
I bit my lip so I could block my mind
I've called your name to others
just like a spinal cord
severed and broken
but the spark still tries

Doesn't anyone fill the void
doesn't anyone kill the joy
doesn't anyone take the place of you

But they don't know you like I do
they don't see the good inside you
they don't lay with you in bed
and join you when you're dreaming
they don't see your softer side
who'll be there to turn your light on
who will try to wash away the stain
that love has left us?

 

[sb]

oh no don't go changing
thats what you told me from the start
thought you were something different
thats when it all just fell apart
like you're so perfect
and I can't measure up
well I'm not perfect
just all messed up

I was losing myself to somebody else
but now I see
I don't want to pretend
so this is the end of you and me
cos the girl that you want
she was tearing us apart
cos she's everything, everything I'm not

Its not like I need somebody
telling me where I should go at night
don't worry you'll find somebody
somebody to tell how to live their lives
cos you're so perfect
and no one measures up
yeah all by yourself
and all messed up

I was losing myself to somebody else
but now I see
I don't want to pretend
so this is the end of you and me
cos the girl that you want
she was tearing us apart
cos she's everything, everything I'm not

now wait a minute
because of you
I never knew all the things that I had
hey don't you get it
I'm not going anywhere with you tonight
cos this is my life

I was losing myself to somebody else
but now I see
I don't want to pretend
so this is the end of you and me
cos the girl that you want
she was tearing us apart
cos she's everything, everything I'm not

 

[sb]

you are one of gods mistakes
you crying tragic waste of skin
I'm well aware of how it aches
and you still wont let me in
now I'm breaking down your day
to try and save your swollen face
though I don't like you anymore
you lying trying waste of space
before our innocence was lost
you were always one of those
blessed with lucky sevens
and a voice that made me cry
my oh my
you were mother natures son
someone to whom I could relate
your needle and your damage done
remains a sort of twist of fate
now I'm trying to wake you up
to pull you from the liquid sky
cos if I don't we'll both end
with just your song to say goodbye
​

 

[sb]

I remember it
dublin in a rainstorm
sitting in the long grass in summer
keeping warm
I remember it
every restless night
we were so young then
we thought that everything we could possibly do was right
then the moon
stolen from our very eyes
I wonder where you went to
tell me
when did the light die?
where was I?
you'll return
the pheonix from the flame
you will learn
you will rise
you'll return
being what you are
there is no other troy for you to burn

and I never meant to hurt you
I swear I didnt mean those things I said
I never meant to do that to you
next time I'll keep my hands to myself instead
I should love you
what do you want to do?
does she need you like I do?
do you love her?
is she good for you?
does she hold you like I do?
do you want me?
should I leave?
I know you're always telling me that you love me
but just sometimes I wonder if I should believe
I love you
god I love you
I'd kill a dragon for you
and I
but I will rise
and I will return
the pheonix from the flame
I have learned
I will rise
and you'll see me return
being what I am
there is no other Troy for me to burn

well you should have left the light on
you should have left the light on
then I wouldn't have tried
you'd never have known
I wouldn't have pulled you tighter
no I wouldn't have pulled you close
I wouldn't have screamed
now I can't let you go
if the door wasn't closed
no I wouldnt have pulled you to me
no I wouldnt have kissed your face
you wouldn't have begged me to hold you
if we hadn't in the first place
but I know that you wanted me to be there
every look that you threw told me so
but you should have left the light on
you should have left the light on

well the flame burnt away
but you're still spitting fire
makes no difference what you say
you're still a liar.

 

[sb]

I work in a house for people with a disability (pwd). All the clients have cerebal palsy but the house is for those who are as independent as they can possibly be and don't need staff 24 hours... just for mealtime assistance, personal care etc. A few weeks ago they moved a new client in who unlike the other people in the house has a intellectual disability as well as cerebal palsy. Before she moved in we all expressed our concerns that the house wouldn't be right for but we told that she wanted to become independent and was ready to move into the 'independent living' house.

Unfortunately they lied. Since moving in, she has had several tantrums... she can't go two minutes without getting staff to do something or other with her... we speak to all the guys like you would anybody... but with the new client we were told we weren't allowed to say things like no and don't as this could set her off....

A few of her outbursts have been reasonably entertaining but last night was absolutely shocking... I never want to have to go through a night like that again in my life. She screamed for over an hour in a really high pitch scream whilst demanding staff do this and that for her, she told me several times to fuck off and that her outburst was here fault as she wanted to go with another staff member to the shop and I asked if they could wait until most of the after dinner cleaning was done because I would be left alone with the other 5 clients.

She tried to ram her wheelchair into staff, she rammed into the table and caused us to have to disengage her chair. I would have been fine with all this and been able to handle it... but the other clients have never had to put up with anything like this before and two of them just started crying... I tried to comfort them but just ended up in tears myself as them crying along with her totally psychotic behaviour was just too much.

In the end we had to move a bed so one of the guys didn't have to be alone because he was that upset, and another one went to a respite house to stay for the night. After her wave of destruction she calmed down and then said sorry and we all just had to accept it as though nothing happened.

Me and the other staff made big reports and called the regional manager and all that... and hopefully they will move her out because its not working for her and its not fair on the other five people that live in the house.

 

[sb]

you're jealous
you just can't stand to see me get along without you
like I do
you told me to
now you're jealous
you don't know how hard it was to be alone without you
and wanting you like i do
I would have stayed if you wanted
would have been willing
but you said I treat you so badly
can't be forgiven
you know I would have done anything
to make it through with you
but I don't deserve to be lonely
just cos you say I do
you're jealous
you don't know how hard it is to be in love with you
when you're so cruel
and so jealous
you don't think of anybody's feelings
but your own
are you coming home?
I would have stayed if you wanted
would have been willing
but you said I treat you so badly
can't be forgiven
you know I would have done anything
to make it through with you
but I don't deserve to be lonely
just cos you say I do
so if you're gonna go you got to go
and if you're staying stay
cos I can't take the pain
you keep leaving when you go away
I don't deserve to be so lonely
I don't deserve to cry
I don't deserve to be so lonely

 

[sb]

my little empire
is risen and its set
my little empire
is as good as it can get
my little empire
is coming around
my little empire
it don't make a sound
my royalty
it does not exist
it is extinct
for the eye to see
my ideology
it is dead and gone
almost forgotten
for the eye to see
my little empire
I'm sick of being sick
my little empire
I'm tired of being tired
my little empire
I'm bored of being bored
my little empire
I'm happy being sad
all of my sins
are attempts to fill the void
all of my voids
they are filled with sin
all my demons
they are kept within
and all of my violence
it does not exist
my little empire
I'm happy being sad
my little empire
I'm fucked with being fucked
my little empire
I'm done with being done
my little empire
I'm happy being sad

 

[sb]

What if the world was out of trouble
What if the world was out of pain
Would it be a world thats worth living in
Without anything
Thats worth a sin
What if the world was out of hope
Would you find a place where you belong
You said to yourself that you'd never make it that far
And the mountains too high
The answer is
Just around the hill
Just around the hill
Take a look from the other side
Suddenly you see
There are many ways
Don't go astray
Just walk around
Walk around that hill
What if the world was out of love
And all that we do don't mean a thing
You take a chance
No suffering
No suffering
For anything
You're risking yourself
Do you really want it that way?
The mountains too high
The answer is
Just around the hill
Just around the hill
Take a look from the other side
Suddenly you see
There are many ways
Don't go astray
Just walk around
Walk around that hill
Just around the hill
Take a look from the other side
Suddenly you'll see
There are many ways
To go astray
Just walk around
Walk around that hill
Walk around that hill

 

[sb]

I want to bruise your lips with a tender kiss
I want to crush your heart
I want to be your scar
And when you're touching me
I hear a symphony
Oh baby, come on now baby

Someone get a priest or maybe the police
I think that we should call a justice of the peace
You're a pretty young thing
Its a damn cool thing
I got to tell the world
In case they haven't heard
There never was a doubt
Oh baby hush your mouth
You're a pretty young thing
Its a damn cool thing

Baby say my name
Baby say it again
I want to be the one
I want to take you on
And when you're closing in
I hear violins
Oh baby, come on now baby

Someone get a priest or maybe the police
I think that we should call a justice of the peace
You're a pretty young thing
Its a damn cool thing
I got to tell the world
In case they haven't heard
There never was a doubt
Oh baby hush your mouth
You're a pretty young thing
Its a damn cool thing

Pretty young thing
Don't need no diamond rings
I'll give you everything
I'll show you anything
Just hush
Oh just shhh
Don't say a word

Someone get a priest or maybe the police
I think that we should call a justice of the peace
You're a pretty young thing
Its a damn cool thing
I got to tell the world
In case they haven't heard
There never was a doubt
Oh baby hush your mouth
You're a pretty young thing
Its a damn cool thing
​

 

[sb]

So I thought I'd let everyone know.

It was good... I found him online... he had a friend who watched.

 

[sb]

all i know is everything is not as it's sold
but the more i grow the less i know
and i have lived so many lives
though i'm not old
and the more i see the less i grow
the fewer the seeds the more i sow

then i see you standing there
wanting more from me
and all i can do is try

i wish i hadn't seen all of the realness
and all of the real people are really not real at all
the more i learn the more i learn
the more i cry the more i cry
as i say goodbye to a way of life
i thought i had designed for me

then i see you standing there
wanting more from me
and all i can do is try
then i see you standing there
i'm all i'll ever be
but all i can do is try

All of the moments that already passed
We'll try to go back and make them last
All of the things we want each other to be
We never will be
And that's wonderful, and that's life
And that's you, baby
This is me, baby
And we are, we are, we are, we are
Free
In our love
We are free in our love

 

[sb]

i sent you out to play last night
the alarms went off at 3
funny how i'm not laughing not now
loneliness a gaurantee

i sent you out to play last night
the alarms went off at 3
funny how i'm not laughing now
he's not coming home to me

sent you out to play last night
the alarms went off at 3
funny how i'm not laughing now
he's not coming home to me

try to get out on a
to move out of love
if only there was no consequence
watch it all turn to dust

hey can i go with you?
my beauty # 2
hey can i go with you?
when the rendezvous over

its over
its not over
no its not over

 

[sb]

Sweet dreams all met with derision
This train, it was armed for collision
It's a shame, it's a shame, it's a shame



Clap your hands in the sparkle and glitter
Shake your heads at the twisted and bitter
Oh they don't know how lucky they are



Foot down for the alienation
Look on as your love, its gets lost in translation
To a language that nobody understands



There are smiles as they erode and corrupt you
Of the great expectations you could never live up to
We are lost, we are lost, we are lost



get you coat, 'cos the righteous are leaving
'Cos they can't work out what the hell to believe in
It's a shame, it's a shame, it's a shame



No abandon, no heartfelt desire
No love could be worth getting fired
For real, it's surreal, it's so real



So paint over the cracks and then cover
What you thought was the worst ever pain with another
And the first one, it always comes free



How they love you so cold and so vicious
With friends like these, well who needs politicians
The first one, its always comes free
They tell you heroin takes like ice cream



Clever men know all that and all this
And they will talk and they talk and the don't fucking listen
It's a shame, it's a shame, it's a shame



It's no life but God, it's a living
Come on Jesus Christ, come back all is forgiven
We are lost, we are lost, we are lost



Have no fear of the state of the nation
Let the facts have no bearing on public relations
It's a shame, it's a shame, it's a shame



What a model of Christian behaviour
Preach on with the message of "go fuck thy neighbour"
it's a shame, it's a shame, it's a shame
it's a shame, it's a shame



Watch your step by the crowd of fanatics
While they kill in the name of applied mathematics
Hate the system even though you invented it
Go kill your brothers and claim self defence of it
Picking up all the secrets and tricks to being
One of the guys whom the shit never sticks to
Take you seats for the final calamity
Don't you look serious, hell, what can the matter be?
Another day and the rot's getting faster
And all the machines started killing the master

it's a shame, it's a shame, it's a shame
it's a shame, it's a shame