Scally/Chav Lads

[Sniffademskidz]

19 year old Barcelona midfielder GAVI!

GAVI- the gift that keeps GAVIng!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Now you have test driven the car what do you think of it Sir!?

-The car is perfect and it simply purred as we did 0 to 60 in ten seconds!

Now let's see how the salesman performs!

I know you work on commission young man but before you get your bonus you've got to take my boner!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"BOTTOMS UP!"

Yep in approximately ten seconds!!!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Your photography is infamous! I don't expect anybody will be able to see my head!"

"Oh I wouldn't say that!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

26 year old BEN GODFREY plays for Everton!

One for all you atheists out there!

Who in their right mind would want to imagine a GOD-FREY world!?

 

[Sniffademskidz]

In the words of Kevax:

"WIGGLE IT! JUST A LITTLE BIT!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Yes Mum I did lick his arse and as you can see my tongue is as clean as a whistle!

Yes Mum we are using protection!

Yes I always chew my food thirty eight times before I swallow it!

By the way my mobile phone is being sent away for repair and they can't guarantee when it will be back so just in case I'll wish you a Happy Christmas 2024!

Nye! Love you!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Some of you may be familiar with a programme on Btitish TV entitled "CASH IN THE ATTIC" in which people find priceless treasures among articles which they long ago consigned to the outer reaches of their dwelling!

What are the chances of cumming across this CASH IN THE ATTIC!?

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Well you've travelled all over the world so you're a GLOBE TROTTER!

Whereas I like to look at boys' bare arses so I'm a GLOBE SPOTTER!

-Oh Sir! The English language is so fascinating isn't it!?

GLOBE trotter, GLOBE spotter........we are so close!

Yes mate but not as close as I'd like us to be!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-I was really surprised to find a smoking table!

-Well as you constitute the entertainment this evening Sir we wanted to make sure there was a smoking table for a smoking (hot) strippergram!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Can you guess just by looking at us what job we do!?

-Well I guess that your friend on the left with his arse out is a weatherman predicting a full moon tonight!

As for you, judging by that long silhouette in the front of your trackie bottoms, that you are employed by a doughnut manufacturing company to put the holes in their doughnuts!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-I wouldn't say you had the classic profile of a train spotter young man!

-...abd I wouldn't say that you had the classic profile of an arse sniffer but I was in no doubt that it was your nose burrowing its way into the seat of my jeans as we came up the steps!

-Well if that's the introductions over maybe we could nip into the Gents toilets unless of course you prefer to do it "al fresco!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Christ the Redeemer and Bryce the wet dreamer!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Can you go to the Headnaster's Office please Hayden!?

-What again!? He's already shagged me once this morning!

The old goat's insatiable!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

If you've lost the key to the hotel room and you are desperate to shag your best friend you might get some duct tape to stick across his mouth so he doesn't wake up the other guests!

When I was at school my teacher used to say:

"Empty vessels make the most noise!"

and I think she was right 'cos this guy is obviously full of shit but just imagine the fun banging it out of him!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Being a linguist myself I have to say that Italian is one of the most beautiful and musical languages in the world simply by dint of the fact that all words terminate in vowels so even when you are insulting someone it is music to one's ears!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-It's just getting so embarrassing being arrested every day!

I- know but it's the only way of getting you into a cell! At least there's a bed in there and I don't have to splash out on a hotel every day!

I can hardly fuck you in my living room while my wife is watching daytime TV although she is so thick she probably wouldn't even notice!

-Aren't you running out of things to charge me with!? What are you going to say to the duty sergeant this time?

I'll just say that you have been apprehended for using insulting language to a cat!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Call yourself a scoutmaster!? You were supposed to drug that horny little bitch with buns like melons and a cock that could substitute a pneumatic drill!

Instead you doctor the hot chocolate of this pathetic little nerd!

-I know mate and I'm sorry but in the scouts we do teach the boys to be resourceful so if the watchword is :

"Waste not want not!"

we'd better get his knickers down!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Here's a lad of style who knows the importance of colour co-ordination when choosing the right outfit!

You must have heard that little saying

"Red and green should never be seen!"

-True but when I've got his trousers and pants round his ankles and I'm contemplating that vision of paradise constituted by his pucker hole I'll be thinking more in terms of

"I'll go to town on pink and brown!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

BREAKING NEWS!

A hard hitting documentary shadowing the lives of teenagers willing to do absolutely anything to finance their drugs habit is about to hit our TV screens!

Entitled

"BAREBACK IN BASILDON"

it is set in a suburb of that Essex Town called Pittsea which really is the pits!

We interviewd this young man who had adopted the pseudonym of PUCKER PIE simply because he had had his arse eaten so many times!

He recounted an interesting anecdote of his schooldays when he asked a rather posh supply teacher if he would give him some money to pay his dealer who was waiting for him at the school gates!

PUCKER OUE: We 'ad this posh geezer in a bow tie who cum in to teach us 'cos our teacher was expecting a sprog and about to drop! Actually the father was my mate Billy!

Anyway I said to this geezer:

"Sir would you ever take it up the arse!?"

And he said in this really posh voice:

"Not while there's breath in my body but what happens in the mortuary is beyond my control!"

I liked that geezer cos 'e 'ad style!

Now why couldn't I 'ave fought up sumfink like that!"
All the members of the filming crew took it in turns to take PUCKER up the arse so at least he had enough money to shoot up for the next week!