Scally/Chav Lads

[Sniffademskidz]

What a waste of champagne!

The guy spraying it into her cunt is really hot so I would have been very happy to drink it once it had been shot up his arse and flushed out again!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

I know that dirty old pervert has got his binoculars trained on my buns! I can feel his eyes burning a hole in my arse from his bedroom window!

He's wormed his way into my mum's affections but only so that he can worm his way into my pants!

He's made himself indispensable to her doing all the odd jobs around the house that my dad used to do before he left!

Can't believe that she's given him a key to.our house so thar be can keep an eye on me- that must be the supreme irony!

He's built like a brick shithouse and if he let himself in at night with the intention of fucking me I wouldn't stand a chance!

My friends are away on holiday so there is nobody I can call on.......unless I have a word with my mate who works at the castle......see if I can borrow a medieval chastity belt to protect my innocence!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Morning guys!

It's the STRESS BREAKER here!

I've just cum online to advertise a new and completely free service I'm offering called SERVICING SIXTH FORMERS!

This service is aimed at young men who are about to take their A levels but need to get rid of all that pent up tension!

I'm.offering my hole as a free of charge cumdump!

Just had two guys sign up for this afternoon! Failed their A levels this summer and are down for retakes in December but want to book me on a weekly basis! They are BFFs ( Best Friends Forever) , joined at the hip, so they have asked if they can be joined at the cock when they fuck me!

It's going to be quite a challenge to be double dicked by two massive great ten inch black schlongs but I'm sure I'll rise to it!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

It's all right mate! I work in a post office so I'm.used to weighing packages!

Feels like you've got the fucking Crown Jewels in there so you need to be dispatched EXPRESS!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

21 year old DANIEL ABED KHALIFE recently escaped from prison where he was incarcerated for planting bombs!

He is certainly an expert in big bangs and explosions but not the sort that he was subjected to by his two cell mates night and morning!

No wonder he needed to escape if he was servicing the whole of his wing, all the prison officers, the prison governor and the police dogs!

His little pucker must have been red raw!

Surprised he had the energy to make the big break!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Are you OK mate! You look a bit stressed out!?"

"Yeah! I'm.planning to do a long cycle ride today and I've just realised I've left my pump at home!"

"No probs mate! I've got a pump- never travel without it! The only snag is that it doesn't dispense air ! It dispenses warm cream but happy to show you how it works if we can find a secluded spot in the woods!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

I hate these training weekends away when we all have to wear black track suits with the company logo on them and do.ludicrous exercises in an effort to bond with our colleagues! It's all so false!

Mind you I wouldn't bonding with that horny little fucker who's just joined the team!

Got to find a way of getting him on his own and showing him that there are many ways of bonding especially with my special brand of extra strong glue!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"My mum told me never to speak to strange men who offered me sweets!"

"Yep but I bet she never said anything about strange men who.offered you a pork sausage!"

You know what the Big Issue seller says:

"Don't be shy! Give it a try!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Excuse me mate this is private property! "

"So is my arse but I'm sure we can do a deal!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"For fuck's sake! Tesco never miss an.opportunity for a promotion!

Not only do they sell underwear they're even getting their staff to.model it in store!

I've already had one dirty old cunt in the fruit and veg aisle shove his hand down the front of my pants saying:

"Just checking that your banana and plums are fresh young man! Your melons are certainly mouthwatering!"

"I'm expecting treble points on my club card for all this!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"That's the trouble when these old geezers book you!

They've got plenty of money but they end up pitching up late cos they can't programme their satnav!

Then when they do get here they can't always get it up cos they forgot to take the viagra!

The worse thing is when they give you a blow job and leave their false teeth clamped round yer todger!

Still! All in a day's work I suppose!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Good morning my name's Will and I'm about to go into the escort business and saw that you offered advice on.the subject!"

"Good morning Will! My name is Lewis!

The problem.is that to pay off a student loan many young men go into the escort business but totally unprepared!

Very often they will agree to.meet their first client who turns out to be a big black man with a ten inch cock who is so rough that the escort ends up losing a lot of blood and sometimes need to be hospitalised!

What I offer to do.is "shape the passage" so to speak and penetrate a virgin hole gently in.preparation fir the clients who are willing to pay over the odds for a rough ride!

If you think this could be of benefit to you let me know and I'll make the necessary arrangements!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"He's a nerdy little weasel isn't he!?"

"Yep, but I'm feeling pretty randy at the moment and boys like him normally have big cocks, tight buns and smelly shitters!

I'll need to fuck him before we start the interview or I won't be able to concentrate!"

"OK I'll go round to Costa and get us a couple of coffees and a croissant while you've got him on his back! Best to take him into cell number 5 cos it's got the firmest mattress!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"I've been told to come into the kitchen and collect the food from.the worktop!

So are you the starter or the main course!?"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Nice arse mate!

I think I'll have to conduct a cavity search as soon as we get to the station!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

I wonder if this guy is on special offer at Tesco and whether I can double up on points on.my Tesco club card!

Not that interested in what he's got in.his ruckack! More interested in what he's got in his ballsack!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Must follow that boy and find out where he parks his bike cos if I can't sniff his arse I'll have a fucking good sniff of his bicycle seat!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Where are you mate!? I'm sitting here throbbing!"

"Still on the train! It's more important for ME to be throbbing! I am the top in this relationship after all!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Just a quick trim please mate! How much do you charge for foot worship!?"

"Normally it's something we do.out the back for twenty quid but if we are talking about those smelly fuckers I'll happily pay YOU to get my hands on.them!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"I'm in his bedroom now and he's just left for work! I told him the job would take all day but I've finished already so nip round as soon as you can! He's a sexy cunt so I'm.just looking round for some of his dirty socks and pants to get me hard before you get here!"