Scally/Chav Lads

[Sniffademskidz]

The thing about being the boss is that once you know someone is desperate to get the job you can ask them to do things that you wouldn't dream of doing otherwise!

This cocky little fucker applied for a cleaning job here so I took advantage of the fact that he's so fucking hot it's off the scale to sniff his smelly feet as part of the interview process!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Don't think you can fill your tank with super unleaded and then drive off the forecourt without paying mate!

However, I'm not going to call the police cos I'm sure we can do a deal!

You've just taken the nozzle of my pump and filled your tank!

Now i'm going to stick my nozzle up your arse and pump my own fuel into your tank till it's full to overflowing and it's not going to be unleaded cos there's plenty of fucking lead in MY pencil!"

 

[serious_andy]

Chavs can be so hot, such as this guy...

View attachment 1248383 View attachment 1248384

So inviting

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Bin doing cavity wall insulation all week for this rich bitch in Billericay!

Go for me money on Friday afternoon and she says:

"You've still got one crack to fill darlin!"

Sticks her han between me legs, grabs me todger and says

" and this is just the grease gun I need for it! Hung like a fucking donkey! My old man might be rolling in it but he's only got a baby carrot!

If you can make my pussy purr I'll add ten percent to your invoice!"

 

[Tosk224]

I have fucked and played around with loads of chavs. They are always so ripped and fit.

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"You 'ad a good night Lewis!?"

"Well that's put it like the! When you've bin on yer back all night, you cum 'ome pull yer knickers down and chuck em at the wall! Well if they stick then you know you've 'ad a good night!

I call 'em my International pants cos they've got cum stains from all over the world!

You'll need a fucking chisel to prize them off the wall!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"I always ask for Mariusz when I order from Rentboyz!

He pitches up half drunk and says he's got water in that bottle but I know it's vodka!

He doesn't speak much English and he's not too hot on personal.hygiene so when I pull his pants down his lovely fluffy white baps normally have a generous chocolate filling!

His Calvins are basically congealed to his arse crack which makes the rimming both challenging and satisfying!

Well the Poles have been invaded by the Germans, the Russians and a few pervy old Brits injects variety to the mix!

On your back Mariusz and think of Poland......not to mention all the money I'm.shelling out to fuck you!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

You twat!

I told you you only need to take one just one hour before intercourse!

They're not fucking Haribos!

You'll be like that for hours which could be quite handy if the pneumatic drill packs up this afternoon!

Go on! Off you go and make your girlfriend's day but be back by 2pm!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Excuse me mate! You haven't got a pump have you?"

"Sure but not the sort of pump you're looking for! Mine dispenses cream not air!"

"Well What the hell! I came out for a ride on my bike but if I end up riding your cock it's gonna be a bonus with a boner!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Thanks mate! I really appreciate you letting me stay here!

That bitch has cheated me out of the house and car and access to the kids. She's cleaned out my bank account and shredded all my clothes!

I've been well and truly shafted!

( You certainly have and the experience is about to be repeated cos once that tablet I slipped in your tea starts working you'll be out for the count!

Then I'll have your smelly feet resting either side of my head and I'll settle down for a nice long "inhale and inject" and for those of you out there who are not conversant with this expression then "sniff and pound!"

I've always wondered what it might be like to shag my best mate!

Well that's something else I'll be able to tick off my bucket list!)

 

[Sniffademskidz]

This guy is just how I like them!

Tall, thin, pale skin, nothing to say for himself!

Bend him over, rip the seat out of his sweatpants and then lick the shit out of his arse before pumping him full of top quality clotted cream!!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

This guy is obviously not backward in cumming forward!

Any marketing managers out there could learn a lot from this guy!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"I'm a bit confused Sir!

I thought you wanted to paint a still.life! Isn't that a bowl of fruit!?"

"Indeed it is Toby and let's face it you have a lovely banana, two sweet little plums and a pair of juicy melons so if that doesn't constitute a fruit bowl then I don't know what does!

Now get those trackie bottoms off and allow the artist to dip his brush!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"I think I've managed to sort out your stink pipe!"

"Thanks mate!

If you'd like to drop your pants I'll return the favour!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"No idea who designed these gearsticks but they beat the shit out of any Dildo!

That big nobbly bit on the top really hits the spot!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"When I order a chav online I expect him to turn up with at least three brown stripes on the seat of his underpants!

A chav who doesn't stripe his knickers is like fish and chips without salt and vinegar!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Thanks for talking to me about learning another language with duolingo Sir but I'm not quite sure why you've asked me up to.your bedroom!"

"Well now that we've talked about foreign tongues it's about time you were exposed to some home grown tongue so goodbye duolingo and hello anilingus!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Just a sneaky peek of what awaits you after the class Sir and if you want to go all the way I'm expecting an overall A!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"I love that sweet little mole on your cheek! Now pull yer knickers down and show ne your other cheeks so that I can check them out for moles!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"So what does that sign UNDER 25 mean!?

Does it mean you won't serve any bloke whose cock is less than 25 cms or nine and a half inches long!?

Here's yer fucking proof darling! Now get yer laughing gear round this!"