Scally/Chav Lads

[Sniffademskidz]

-Aren't you a bit old to be sucking your thumb mate!?

-You'd be much better off sucking something with plenty of protein in it and a good source of calcium!

-Funnily enough I just happen to have one here!

( noise of the fly of jeans being unzipped!)

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Just watch it!

This boy is jail bait if ever I saw it!

My great grandfather lied about his age so he could get into the army in World War I.

This boy will lie about his age to get you into his knickers!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

So glad you decided to invest in a pair of those new state of tge art trackie bottoms! They've got a special sensor in the seat which allows the seam to open when something big and hot approaches it!

They all think we are grinning because of the spirit of Christmas and the chance to bring joy to lots of little children whereas in actual fact the reason we're smiling is cos I'm shagging you senseless thanks to these new self-opening trousers!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Is this the prison's idea of Christmas entertainment- a fucking conjuror when we all of us wanted a stripper!

Well.mate I have got a nice little trick I can do with a couple of balls and you're not the only one who can levitate a magic wand!!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"It's OK mate! I think anyone with even poor eyesight can see that you are smoking hot!

You don't need to bother about all that bollocks to prove it!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"So you are looking for Marlborough Street!? Yep I'm from round here and I know it well!"

( God what a peachy little arse he's got! Would love to sniff that bicycle seat and once he's locked his bike up and left it that's exactly what I intend to!)

"If you follow me mate I'll show you exactly where it is and I'll even wait for you !"

"That's really kind of you! I've just got to deliver a package!"

( .....and with any luck I'll be doing the same mate! Fucking hell my cock's throbbing at the very thought of it!)

 

[Sniffademskidz]

At the risk of being politically incorrect in these somewhat oversensitive times I would just like to let it be known that I'm rather partial to a marmite sandwich!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

In an effort to tackle the ever increasing problem of stray dogs in British towns abnd rural areas the government has given the local police powers to impound ownerless canines!

This project was so successful that it was agreed to extend it to the problem of homeless and sometimes disruptive young men ...........

"We've just seen one in your area George...about 18 in a grey tracksuit carrying a water bottle! If you get the van on the road out to Scarborough you ought to catch him!

If you haven't had your breakfast yet don't worry!

He's a fucking gorgeous.....a meal deal in himself....

Cheese from his feet, chocolate from his arse, cream from his bollocks, milk from his tits and orange juice from his cock!

That's what you call dining in splendour mate!

Now get over there now before I beat you to it!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

As a Briton who has travelled all over the world I am very realistic about my homeland but I do have a sneaking admiration for the enterprising eccentricity of its inhabitants!

If yiu are familiar with the gay porn site HUNG YOUNG BRIT you will be conversant with the antics of George Mason and friends who have pushed adventure to its very limits!

However five years ago he overstretched himself when he and Mason Mulligan decided to perform some fairly daring sex acts on the London underground.

George was charged with "outraging public decency", fined £1,000 and sentenced to 18 months' community service!

The nature of this community service was never revealed but I think a lot of commuters were nurturing the hope of a rough ride on the Circle Line!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

If you are resident in Britain you will be familiar with arguably our largest supermarket chain: I speak of TESCO!

As a shopper you cannot fail to be irritated by the plethora of annoying jingles that assault your eardrums on entry to the store!

The one that I find particularly annoying is:

"Check out your favourites and have a browse!"

So yesterday I did in fact do what the jingle suggested and I marched right up to the hunky young shelf-stacker in the fruit and veg aisle, stuck my nose up his arse and inhaled deeply abd audibly.......and cue Security!

You just can't win can you!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-So you're the new boy sent to help out in the kitchen?

-Yep!

-Well it's New Year's Eve and we're short staffed but we can still have some fun!

-Cock a leekie soup is on the menu!

-What's that then?

Well stand up and drop your sweatpants! Stick your cock in my mouth! I'll massage your arse and when you start to leak precum and are ready to shoot your load I'll give you a bowl!

Cock a leekie soup- leaked straight from the cock!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

VALETE 2023 - SALVETE 2024!

Let's raise a glass to the unwashed arse
Of those cheeky little chavs that pass!

Their puckers know NOT shower gel
And the seat of their pants is a launderer's hell!

They murder our tongue when they open their mouth
but what do we care as our eyes travel south!

The purple head of their massive cocks
Prove to us that they're just brainless jocks!

Just buy them a burger and a couple of cans
abd very soon you will find they're putty in your hands!

Down come their trackies
And their shit-stained holes are ready and willing to take our stiff poles!

As the clock starts to chime you know that it's time
To empty your balls up his arse!

So goodbye '23, a year full of glee!
Hello '24 and here's to some more!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Nice bow wow mate!

Now show us yer pussy!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

I called these the" Xylophone boys!"

Not because they have any musical talent but if you line them up in a row, whip down their trackie bottoms and bend them over you can get a decent tune by running your tongue backwards and forwards along their cracks!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Don't mind working New Year's Day cos it's double time!

A couple of the managers have promised to pop in as well so it'll be double dick as well!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Any new boy who comes to work with us gets a really hard time and I mean that quite literally!

If he can take two rock hard dicks without squealing he gets real respect but if he starts whimpering or bleeding then we make his life hell!

Get em off off off!

Get em off off off!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-So are you saying you'd let me shag you for the price of a packet of fags!?

-This is me last smoke mate and I'm maxed out on me cards and that shop won't give me no more credit!

-Ok- there's a grassy wooded bit down there!
-I wanna 69 you so I can sniff your smelly socks while they're tickling my ears!
Wanna snog the face off you too cos you are literally smoking hot my man!
Haven't had me rocks off for a few days so yiu are so gonna get it and I'll treat you to a bottle of whisky if you let me do you bareback!
Wanna see my cum shoot up your arse and then run back onto the grass!

Sure mate! If you like it maybe we could make it a regular thing......maybe you could be my boyfriend!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"That was a really interesting and enlightening interview Mr.Jones!

Thank you for attending the interview! We have only one question left to ask you and that is

If you were asked for one single reason that you want to teach at this Sixth Form College what would it be!?

"Well gentlemen they do say that a picture paints a thousand words and here is one that I took just before the interview!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

My taxi service ain't fancy like Panther Cabs but I do.offer certain perks!

All punters ger a chance to sniff my feet at the end of the journey abd anyone whose journey cost more than ten quid gets to play with my gearstick and I don't mean the one you can see in this photo!

If any rich geezer decides to slip a fifty quid note inside the waistband of my Calvins my legs automatically rise and my ankles cum to rest on their shoulders!

 

[Wwen]

Definitely love scally/chav lads