jdcnow
Graphics Extraordinaire
Good evening all, and I hope you are doing, tonight.
I find myself at a crossroads. I found out yesterday, that I just got passed over for the promotion to front-end supervisor at the supermarket I work at. Not only did the incompetent Napolean-style dick-tator whom half the day shift doesn't either like nor respect get the position, but the assistant manager in charge of the front-end also ***hired a new guy on as*** a front-end supervisor. I've met the new guy, I like him, but still, the fact that he got the position and I didn't doesn't do me any good, in terms of moving my own financial cause forward.
This makes yet again, another job where all I do is give, give, give, and all the people around and above me do is take, take, take from me. My therapist, at my last appointment, in March, said that people like me because I'm loyal to a fault and a hard worker. He politely refuted my argument: that people don't like me because I'm a good worker. People like me for what they can get out of me.
Unfortunately my argument is now on full, naked display for the world to see. People do just like me for what they can get out of me. And it pisses me off. At just about every job I've been at, my co-workers and bosses use and abuse my talents, skills, and work ethic like an ATM machine they can just tap when they need some more.
It happened at this store >> My knowledge of and expertise with cash register procedure and proper cash handling/accounting practices... Part of the reason I'm already respected as if I were a supervisor by the other cashiers is that I'm constantly being thrown into the front-end supervisor role when the dictator (mentioned earlier) routinely wanders off and abandons his post at the front end to go help in the backroom when they already have enough people or do other things around the store that are not his job. (And when he does wander off like this, he doesn't tell me or anyone else, and basically leaves us cashiers to fend for ourselves with no supervision or leadership. I'm left not knowing that the front-end is without a supervisor until another cashier comes to me needing change or a register override or some immediate need that cannot wait, I look around, and this guy who's supposed to be the captain of the ship is nowhere to be found. I've been the one to oversee the cashiers' breaks and lunches when the front-end is abandoned. I'm the one who has stepped up and helped out on the weekends when we get slammed. I have been the one who has not allowed things on the front-end to fall by the wayside. And this is the fucking thanks I get? Really? Like, with a straight face?
At the last store >> I routinely helped the nighttime assistant managers out of major and very serious binds with the workload we had. One played with my work schedule this way, the other played with it that way, to where I almost had no nights off, or they would screw with my schedule to where my nights off were split up to where I would leave the store to go home, say, on a Monday morning, then on Tuesday night I had to come in. So I never really got an actual whole day off, like someone with a daytime job gets. And I was just expected to be OK with that. And when they did call me in on my nights off, I didn't dare tell them No, because they would retalliate by cutting my hours. "Oh, the store manager told us that we had to cut the payroll budget. Sorry 'bout that..."
The job before that, the last job I had back when I lived at home (May to mid-July last year) >> The guy was an absolute douche who treated everyone like crap. After one time where I came in upon being called in to work (I had asked for that day off, and just had dental work done only hours before, and was still doped up on Hydrocodone, and still came in to work), and a few weeks later, I even volunteered to go clean the man's house. After all that, he cut my hours down to one day a week, to where my living expenses wiped out what little savings I was trying to save up to buy a car with. The job wasn't really worth hanging onto, but it was all I had at the time. So I had no choice but to stick it out for as long as I could.
The job before that >> I routinely did everything on the overnight shift, while the evening shift girls sat on their asses and were allowed to do college homework on company time, while the store manager constantly looked the other way.
The job before that was Dollar Tree, where I was an assistant manager. The store manager bad-mouthed me to the cashiers behind my back, despite 4 years of my life in service to the store and that company. Now I admit to and own the fact that I made a near-successful suicide attempt, that had me away for a full week with no notice until after I was in psych rehab. I come back the next Monday, and the district manager was there. His response wasn't "Hello," or, "Are you all right?" His response was to stand in front of me, look at the store manager, then ask her, "Has he turned in his store keys, yet?" And after he answers, he turns his back to me and walks off.
I'm tired of feeling like a used Kleenex at just about every job I've had in the past few years. People use me for what they need me for, then when I ask for something in return, I'm routinely passed over, and told that, "Well, there may be more opportunities down the road, ya' never know..." Is the problem me? Seriously, am I the source of my own misery, here? Am I doing something wrong that allows people to treat me this way?
I find myself at a crossroads. I found out yesterday, that I just got passed over for the promotion to front-end supervisor at the supermarket I work at. Not only did the incompetent Napolean-style dick-tator whom half the day shift doesn't either like nor respect get the position, but the assistant manager in charge of the front-end also ***hired a new guy on as*** a front-end supervisor. I've met the new guy, I like him, but still, the fact that he got the position and I didn't doesn't do me any good, in terms of moving my own financial cause forward.
This makes yet again, another job where all I do is give, give, give, and all the people around and above me do is take, take, take from me. My therapist, at my last appointment, in March, said that people like me because I'm loyal to a fault and a hard worker. He politely refuted my argument: that people don't like me because I'm a good worker. People like me for what they can get out of me.
Unfortunately my argument is now on full, naked display for the world to see. People do just like me for what they can get out of me. And it pisses me off. At just about every job I've been at, my co-workers and bosses use and abuse my talents, skills, and work ethic like an ATM machine they can just tap when they need some more.
It happened at this store >> My knowledge of and expertise with cash register procedure and proper cash handling/accounting practices... Part of the reason I'm already respected as if I were a supervisor by the other cashiers is that I'm constantly being thrown into the front-end supervisor role when the dictator (mentioned earlier) routinely wanders off and abandons his post at the front end to go help in the backroom when they already have enough people or do other things around the store that are not his job. (And when he does wander off like this, he doesn't tell me or anyone else, and basically leaves us cashiers to fend for ourselves with no supervision or leadership. I'm left not knowing that the front-end is without a supervisor until another cashier comes to me needing change or a register override or some immediate need that cannot wait, I look around, and this guy who's supposed to be the captain of the ship is nowhere to be found. I've been the one to oversee the cashiers' breaks and lunches when the front-end is abandoned. I'm the one who has stepped up and helped out on the weekends when we get slammed. I have been the one who has not allowed things on the front-end to fall by the wayside. And this is the fucking thanks I get? Really? Like, with a straight face?
At the last store >> I routinely helped the nighttime assistant managers out of major and very serious binds with the workload we had. One played with my work schedule this way, the other played with it that way, to where I almost had no nights off, or they would screw with my schedule to where my nights off were split up to where I would leave the store to go home, say, on a Monday morning, then on Tuesday night I had to come in. So I never really got an actual whole day off, like someone with a daytime job gets. And I was just expected to be OK with that. And when they did call me in on my nights off, I didn't dare tell them No, because they would retalliate by cutting my hours. "Oh, the store manager told us that we had to cut the payroll budget. Sorry 'bout that..."
The job before that, the last job I had back when I lived at home (May to mid-July last year) >> The guy was an absolute douche who treated everyone like crap. After one time where I came in upon being called in to work (I had asked for that day off, and just had dental work done only hours before, and was still doped up on Hydrocodone, and still came in to work), and a few weeks later, I even volunteered to go clean the man's house. After all that, he cut my hours down to one day a week, to where my living expenses wiped out what little savings I was trying to save up to buy a car with. The job wasn't really worth hanging onto, but it was all I had at the time. So I had no choice but to stick it out for as long as I could.
The job before that >> I routinely did everything on the overnight shift, while the evening shift girls sat on their asses and were allowed to do college homework on company time, while the store manager constantly looked the other way.
The job before that was Dollar Tree, where I was an assistant manager. The store manager bad-mouthed me to the cashiers behind my back, despite 4 years of my life in service to the store and that company. Now I admit to and own the fact that I made a near-successful suicide attempt, that had me away for a full week with no notice until after I was in psych rehab. I come back the next Monday, and the district manager was there. His response wasn't "Hello," or, "Are you all right?" His response was to stand in front of me, look at the store manager, then ask her, "Has he turned in his store keys, yet?" And after he answers, he turns his back to me and walks off.
I'm tired of feeling like a used Kleenex at just about every job I've had in the past few years. People use me for what they need me for, then when I ask for something in return, I'm routinely passed over, and told that, "Well, there may be more opportunities down the road, ya' never know..." Is the problem me? Seriously, am I the source of my own misery, here? Am I doing something wrong that allows people to treat me this way?
](/images/smilies/bang.gif "Brick wall ](*,)")
I know, right. Maybe I'll buy some Astroglide and keep it in my work locker. Just in case, for the next time they fuck me over.