You're kidding, right? You mean you don't understand the theory of reappropriating the symbols of our oppressors? Reclaiming words and stereotypes in an effort to neutralize it. Do I as a black person agree with using the word? No, I think it should be abolished:
http://www.abolishthenword.com for the self same viewpoint you just expressed. An ignorant person who doesn't understand a black person's use of the word will say exactly that, and another white person will use that same viewpoint to justify their use of the word. It's a just a big swirling eddy of trouble that helps to undermine the fight for civil rights, in my opinion, so I'd rather black people didn't use the word at all. Oh, and in regard to your example of how many times did that same guy use the word that same day? Well, I will answer that with my own example. How many times have you said, "Ugh, my mother's such a bitch!" or "Ugh! I could just kill my father for doing such and such!" and know that you didn't mean it. But if someone who doesn't share that bond/relationship with your mother or father were to say the same things about them angrily and directly to your face, you'd view it as an attack or as a threat. It doesn't matter if you said the same things. You KNOW you didn't say those things with vicious intent in your heart -- but there's no way of knowing if someone off the street didn't, either. White people just HAVE to accept, thanks to the history of blacks and whites in this country, there are just some words that are fighting words. That's it. End of story. Stop trying to justify the use of a word and excuse the use of a word that another group of people find offensive to the very core. I just don't understand the need to justify, rationalize, excuse or defend this type of behavior.
Some people are just intentionally incendiary and it's just better for them to say what they really want to say, which is: "I like using racial slurs because I like getting a reaction out of the people who get offended by them, and I wish these groups would just shut up and take it because I don't want to get in trouble or bastardized because of it. Someone's made me feel inferior at one point in my life, or they still do to this day, and they don't get in trouble for it. So why should I when I do it to someone else to make me feel better for the way I've been treated?"
Hi-five, on the black hand side!