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Shocker: 50% of gay relationships are open

Lube

Lube

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From Joe.My.God:

http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2010/01/study-50-of-gay-relationships-are-open.html

I was going to post this in Hot Topics, but I thought this relationships-oriented forum would be better.

There's a lot of discussions on monogamy and open relationships here, and much argument about whether people in either camp are "truly happy". The studies suggest there truly are happy open relationships (and monogamous ones).

Whatever makes you happy.
 
people should be free to do what they like as long as they don't hide or keep secrets.
 
I would only want a monogamous relationship myself, but to be completely fair: marriage was FOUNDED on bigamy! They all had dozens of wives, and children with each of them. It's honestly a little funny that Conservatives who want to "Defend the original meaning of marriage" are also against having multiple partners as was practiced by the people who invented it.
 
I've always assumed it was because gays have historically been not allowed to marry. Because of that, we haven't had some historic or generic template to follow. We can define our relationships in any way we choose.

Lex
 
^That and perhaps because a straight guy fooling around could get lots of women pregnant--and he'd have to support all the kids he fathered. Wife #1 wouldn't be so happy about that if she assumed he'd support only hers.

And watch the women on The View (link in original blog): they don't want their men fooling around. Maybe it's a woman thing. I wonder how lesbians feel?
 
I think I'm an alien from another planet.
 
^Why, what kind of relationship do you want? Or don't you want?
 
I wonder about the validity in universalizing a Bay area study. I also wonder how long the people in the study have been in relationships. I'm guessing that one of the benefits of monogamy, unprotected sex, would out weigh multiple partners. Over time I think I'd go crazy being in a relationship and worrying about HIV every time I had sex. Anyhoo, that's me.
 
yeah, that's really not been my experience.
 
It's just as easy to get an STD from that guy you've dated and love oh so much, in fact, I'd say it's easier, because you succumb to the illusion that just because you're only having one guy, he is, or he only has too.

There's no substitute for vigilance.

You can play all the vestal virgin games you like, but it only takes one, one you're much more likely to accommodate if you're having romantic illusions.
 
These are just the sort of stereotypes and statistics that prove just how ridiculous it is to use stereotypes and statistics to describe human beings...

And its both of those things that lead to many of us questioning who we are and what we believe in... especially when we are young and still feeling our way in the world - particularly the new gay world - one you often travel alone and unaided in the early days at least.

Read, believe and trust is these sort of figures at your own peril.

Be who you are, however that best suits and fits you... and to hell with everyone else.
 
^ It didn't say 100% or even 75% of gay relationships are open. 50%. Sure, that's more than straight people, but is it really more than the number of straight guys who cheat?

Maybe gays are just more honest? :)

(And, remember, I have--so far--always been in monogamous relationships. I'm not advocating anything here. Just reporting it 'cause it seems to fit in with the reality of the local community even here in the Midwest US.)
 
It could say 5% or 95% and my reaction would still be the same. And honestly the survey could be about str8 people and I could care as little.

Honest or not - and theres not a hope in hell I would suggest that gays are more honest that str8's, why would they be? - surveys misconstrue statistics and lo and behold they are suddenly truth - cold hard fact.

Change the location, the demographic, the culture or even the sex of this survey and the results would differ wildly.

We need to stop believing all that is written about gay society, our culture and our communities and give everyone - especially the newest members and youngest - the freedom to be who they are without weight of expectation or the fear of non conformity from time wasting surveys like this.

Those are things the rest of society can have back.
 
maybe that study only applies to that small geographic location, or the sample it purports to describe. I know that what may be common in LA is not common in Austin. Why should S.F. be an indicator of anywhere else, in fact how do we know that study is accurate?

I know that in my life, open relationships are the minority, certainly not half. And I want to make sure that everyone understands. I'm a huge advocate of open relationships, I think that's the only way to go.

But there's no way that my relationships, or the ones I've seen, are anywhere near that statistic.

Most of the relationships I've seen, by far the majority, have been monogamous.
 
Damn, got beat to it.

DAMN YOU TALL GUY!!!
 
Lube said:
^Why, what kind of relationship do you want? Or don't you want?
Click to expand...

Honestly, I just want monogamy. I've read about the comparative studies (humans to other animals); about the seeming rarity of monogamy among sentient beings. But really, we only compare ourselves to animals whenever we want to legitimize certain behaviors. We don't really believe that we're just like other animals... at least, we certainly don't consistently behave as if we do.

But I digress.

All of the gay people that I know keep telling me that because I insist on monogamy: a) I'll eventually compromise my principles, or b) I'll be alone forever. They keep telling me that I have heterosexist expectations of gay relationships and that there are scarce, few gay dudes who want to be monogamous.

And the authors of the books that I read write that side-sex is just a fact of gay relationships.

All of that makes me feel like an alien. I mean, I have absolutely 0 desire to be in a supposed relationship with a dude, but fuck around on him. And I can't accept a dude fucking around on me. I'm waaay too jealous for that shit.

Sometimes I think my life would be a lot easier if I were more like most of the gay (and plenty of the straight) people I know. They fuck around on each other without compunction.

I blame my mom. Seriously. She was soooooo devoted to my dad. Truly, she was his down-ass bitch. Crazy... So, stuck in my head, I've got all of these crazy ideas--and determination--about true love and devotion and making shit work. Ugh!

I wish that I could just cut my fuckin' heart out.


Whew! I needed to get that off my chest.
 
Straight or gay, boys will be boys. I don't think this is a "gay" thing, I think it's more of a "guy" thing LOL
 
There are a lot of both types. What percentage it ultimately is will always remain a mystery. Take this flawed research with a huge grain of salt.
 
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