Should I tell my best friend that his girlfriend has had two abortions?

[Asenath]

Sultan, you seem like a nice guy and your intentions are noble

I don't see that at all. What I see is someone who will never be put in the position of dealing with an unplanned pregnancy passing judgment on someone who made the hard choice to have an abortion. No matter if the woman never has a regret about the procedure or whether she has doubts all her life, this is not a casual decision. It's not a wacky stunt.

She made the best decision she could with the information and money she had. And now Sultan wants to punish her for exercising her right to control her own body. He admitted to thumbing through private medical records for fun. These are jerkass moves.

 

[voyager1994]

I'm sure you're a sensible man and know the difference between right and wrong. Your first and last posts clearly demonstrate a serious error in judgment on your part. It's not too late to start doing the right thing. It'll keep you out of trouble.

 

[Soilwork]

Just imagine this girl is currently posting on "girl talk" in the "sex and the city" forum something like "I just found out my boyfriend's best friend is gay. Should I tell him? I saw video on line of him jerking off in a site called cam4 for old creepy men and making money, I don't approve of this. I want to tell his best friend because he should know what kind of person he's associating with. He's better than that sort or person."

By the way... Why did she have the abortions?

Was it because she just couldn't be arsed to hVe kids or because the amneosentesis found that the baby would have been severely disabled or born without lungs? Or maybe because she's HIV+ or has a family genetic condition that she doesn't want passed on.

Or maybe she was raped and got pregnant from that and didn't want to carry her rapist's baby.

Without knowing the whole story, maybe you should use this as a teachable lesson and learn to mind your own business...

And maybe he knows she had the abortions. Maybe he's closer to his girlfriend than you are. Imagine that.

 

[mbamike]

Have you ever heard of HIPAA?

You can not disclose information in her medical records without her consent. You could end up in the brig.

 

[Rex]

Just imagine this girl is currently posting on "girl talk" in the "sex and the city" forum something like "I just found out my boyfriend's best friend is gay. Should I tell him? I saw video on line of him jerking off in a site called cam4 for old creepy men and making money, I don't approve of this. I want to tell his best friend because he should know what kind of person he's associating with. He's better than that sort or person."

I've told my best friend I was bi as soon as DADT ended, and I'm sure he's told her by now and he was fine with it. I'm almost positive he shared it with her. She has hinted a few times that she's bisexual herself.

As for who asked what his stance on abortion is, I think we've talked about it before and he doesn't agree with it.



For the person who asked if I have something personal against her, no I don't. I actually like her a lot which is why it was hard to learn that she terminated two pregnancies.



And since about 20 people keep bringing up HIPPA and integrity, etc., I know about all that and that it's not right to look at information like that but it's already been done.

 

[Rex]

Oh, and the reason why she had the second abortion was because she wanted to pursue school, since you asked.

 

[Rex]

lol I'm not saying it's not wrong but shit, I'm sure many of you are guilty of doing things you knew were wrong but did them anyway. We're all human and do some underhanded shit sometimes.

Sultan, if you're in the military there's a good chance you could get court-martialled. Honestly.

Well I decided I'm not going to tell him. Even though I'm completely against abortion and I know he is too, I don't want to ruin their relationship.

 

[bankside]

It is 100% not your place to share that information with anyone at all. It is a career-ending move.

Even if she came in for untreated HIV and you personally knew they were having unprotected sex without him knowing, there would be a protocol in place to be followed. You couldn't just blurt it out.

 

[Just_Believe18]

You have no right to divulge information to the personal medical records of an individual citizen. It is against the law and is not even a question. You would be subject to criminal penalties which would destroy your career and possibly put you behind bars if not an excessive fine.

 

[Soilwork]

I've told my best friend I was bi as soon as DADT ended, and I'm sure he's told her by now and he was fine with it.

That's not really the point, is it?

YOU were the one to tell him when it was right for you. Not anyone else. And I'm sure you wouldn't want your cam4 pictures emailed to him... or your mother... or a future boyfriend.

How about the first abortion.. why did she get that? And how do you know the reason for the second? And that's not the point, either, is it?

 

[StlKj]

Let's see--you abhor drama-stirring gays like Perez Hilton, who finds out dirt about people that should be kept private and then releases that information based on his belief people have the right to know such things.

Then you snoop in a woman's medical file, find out dirt on her, and consider telling your best friend based on your belief that perhaps he should know such things.

You're a hypocrite. You're unethical, and while I've seen you in the past as mostly harmless, I now think you're dangerous to those around you.

You seriously need to have your moral compass recalibrated.

 

[fetaby]

Am I the only one thinking he wants the girl out of the way so he can have a crack at the guy? Yeah? Ok.

 

[Rubber Rat]

No. It's none of your fucking business.

 

[ravenstar]

I have to ask Sultan, what's in it for you? I mean beyond the very big chance you'll lose a friend, who'll then tell his girlfriend what you've done, who then is well within her right to report you to a superior office, which will lead to God only knows what charges in a military court possibly even a dishonourable discharge.

I would personally stop reinforcing your story. All the bits and pieces you're dropping into this thread from having read private files, posting them on a message board, telling us why she had the second abortion can only come back and bite you on the arse.

And I agree with Johan, I've never in all the years I've been on here seen 100% of the same advice. I'm quite sure that everyone on JUB agreeing is the first sign of the apocalypse. Take the advice and shut your mouth. It's none of your business, and your morals have no place in their relationship.

 

[frankfrank]

I said I won't do it, and yeah it's basically a med tech or nurse's assistant type of job. If I see a record of someone I know, it's very, very tempting not to go look through it. I actually do it quite a bit when I'm bored at work. I know that's not something to be proud of.....

No, you only said that you wouldn't do it as long as they're in a relationship, but if they break up you'll spill the beans.

Kiss your career, and perhaps your life, goodbye if you do that. In prison you may be forced into inmate situations which would become a death sentence.

 

[Soilwork]

Let's see--you abhor drama-stirring gays like Perez Hilton, who finds out dirt about people that should be kept private and then releases that information based on his belief people have the right to know such things.

Then you snoop in a woman's medical file, find out dirt on her, and consider telling your best friend based on your belief that perhaps he should know such things.

You're a hypocrite. You're unethical, and while I've seen you in the past as mostly harmless, I now think you're dangerous to those around you.

You seriously need to have your moral compass recalibrated.

Not like I want to bring back up the whole "this is what you'd get dating a semi-closeted bisexual," but it kinda goes with the territory. So they spend half their time keeping up their own charade of a life and the other half trying to rip everyone else down.

 

[Rex]

OK, I have a question then. If you had a friend who was straight and was dating a women and you happened to find out she used to be a man and never told him, and they started taking the relationship very seriously, would you tell him?

 

[Soilwork]

OK, I have a question then. If you had a friend who was straight and was dating a women and you happened to find out she used to be a man and never told him, and they started taking the relationship very seriously, would you tell him?

You live in a world where nobody meets your standards. Do you ever get tired of calling everyone else a freak?

I just can't imagine going through life like that.*

 

[Asenath]

OK, I have a question then. If you had a friend who was straight and was dating a women and you happened to find out she used to be a man and never told him, and they started taking the relationship very seriously, would you tell him?

"Used to be a man."

How much distilled transfail can you put in 5 words?

 

[star-warrior]

If you're with the medics, surely you have a duty to a patient's privacy and confidentiality. What good is trust without people you can trust? Even if they're no longer dating, you should not divulge what you know. If your mate becomes obsessive about her, telling him would only make it a tool to use against her, and besides, she'd want to know where it came from, and it would be you, upon which, you'd either be subject to military discipline or get booted out. Your trustworthiness would be pants if your military record then follows you around.

Some things are just not worth the buddy factor. You might not get any thanks back in return for your word in his ear either.