Sniffademskidz's Funny Stuff

[Sniffademskidz]

I iused to hate having to queue for the Dartford tunnel from Essex to Kent but there are some tunnels that i would happily wait in a queue for!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Broccoli and spinach are probably a good source of iron my friend but some are not meant to be taken orally!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"It's a tough world and we all need a helping hand from time to time!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Whoops! Mustn't forget these two!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Gives new meaning to the expression " squirreling away your nuts!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

No mystery as to why the word LOVE is a key word in tennis!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

My favourite type of Turkish Delight is the sort that's got nuts in it!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

When the Mormons cum round and start talking about the end of the world i normally tell them that there is only one end I'm interested in and if it turns out to be my lucky day then i get the chance to gaze at this vision of beauty!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Why be accused of "having your head up your own arse" when you can stick it up someone else's!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Now I know what is meant by the expression "stuck between a rock and a hard place!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"It's not what you think!

The zip on my fly is jammed and this guy is just helping me out (of the jeans!)"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

As I have said on many an occasion the English language is open to misinterpretation!

Whoever publishes these things should bear that in mind!

Just look at point 3!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

When Damon applied for a job at Poundstretcher management saw a chance to diversify and the idea of launching a new chain of stores called ARSESTRETCHER was born!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

That tricky moment when your friend asks you a question and you want to respond but your mother always told you never to talk with your mouth full!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Hey babe! Thank goodness you're here at last!

I've had such a shit day! I feel like a pin cushion! Nothing but injections all day long!

-Well if i pull the screens round your bed I'll happily give you your protein injection and take your temperature rectally with my special thermometer!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

That moment when you're playing "Twister "with the guys but you get bored with the board and decide to take things to the couch!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

That's one amazing inmovation that I hope catches on!

Having the news headlines printed on the briefs of some tight-arsed horndog who is willing to show his ass to any big businessman who needs a quick update on the state of the markets!

Gives a whole new meaning to the term "market niche!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Britain and Italy were in the second row of nations when it came to seniority in the EU France and Germany being in the first row!

However as you can see there ARE some advantages to finding yourself in the second row!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

The Tesco meal deal for £3.40 has got nothing on this guy!

Milk from his tits, cream from his bollocks, orange juice from his shooter, cheese from his feet and chocolate from his shitter!

If he's the romantic type he might respond to a few lines of Shakespeare if you're lucky.....which will cost you absolutely fuck all!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

I've heard of "having a finger in every pie" but "a finger in every pucker"....well that's a new one on me!