Sniffademskidz's Funny Stuff

[Sniffademskidz]

If you go down to the woods today you'll never believe your eyes!
If you go down to the woods today you'd better go in disguise!
Cos every bear that ever there was is gathered there for certain because
Today's the day the teddy bears fuck their twinkies!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Unmistakably Chateau Lafitte 1922!

A rather good vintage!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Sorry mate! I must have pushed the thermometer in too deep! I'll try and get it out with my tongue though!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Santa cums but once a year and when he does he fills a sack!

Jack's ready to give him some competition though and aims to fill the FA Cup!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-He may have a crucifix round his neck but he looks a pretty unlikely missionary to me!

-True but if he asks me whether I've been saved I shall simply say:

"I've been saved just for you sweetheart!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

When you realize that the son of your new nighbours is the hottest property in existence and that your bedroom is only separated from his by a thin wall it stands to reason that you'll want to drill a glory hole through that partition!

Better just check his exact location before you commence drilling!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

If the logistics of "living chess" is doable then "living noughts and crosses" should be a doddle by comparison!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

'Have you made a Christmas wish little boy!?

-Oh yes Santa! I'm hoping for a rise!

-Well I can't promise that you'll get a rise at work but if you sit on my lap for much longer i can guarantee you'll be getting a differebt rise from the one you are thinking about!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

At least we know what Dennis Dillon and Metro Tesco have in common!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Titanic meets the iceberg!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

.......and where's Walid!?

 

[Sniffademskidz]

RIDDLE!

What do pussies and puckers have in common!?

Answer: they both like cream!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

I thought it was only goats that ate clothes!

Hey you in the video this is the only time I would say to anyone:

"Dont swallow!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"I think the Mona Lisa has had her day!

Time to kick her off her pedestal in the Louvre and replace her with this Adonis!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

When people come to Britain from other countries seeking employment the primary consideration is normally making enough money to support their families!

It's therefore very important for them to understand phrases such as:

"To make ends meet!"

Photos like this can be a very useful aid to teaching!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

If people talk to their plants to make them grow maybe I can do the same to my todger.....and there's only fifteen minutes before my Grindr date pitches up!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

That embarrassing moment when you've finished tiling your client's bathroom and take a photo of yoir handiwork to promote your business but said client has decided that he's going to fuck you before you leave the premises.....value for money and all thay!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

British rail ticket inspectors were so used to Matt's not having bought the required ticket for his journey that they had reached an unspoken agreement by mutual consent!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Amazon drivers deliver loads of packages all over the country and every so often a grateful customer will show his appreciation by delivering his own load in the back.of the van!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

We hear about people starving to death in the world's trouble spots all the time and if there's one thing I hate it's people who waste food!