Sniffing footballers' arses!

[Sniffademskidz]

It's a Christmas miracle! I thought only Jesus was resurrected from the dead!"

Yes Jesus was RESURRECTED! You on the other hand have been RESERECTED!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

I've heard of a "flying buttress" which I believe is some sort of architectural feature but I've never heard of" flying buttocks! "
I could get used to the idea though!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Want to upgrade your package?"

You can do it if you CAZOO it!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

When I see pictures of football coach CHRISTIAN STREICH who is seven years my junior looking like shit I find it an enormous ego booster!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

On the sixth day of Christmas our true Lord sent to me

"Six sexy swimmers with six packs!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"That's the worst manicure I've ever seen!

I'd ask for a refund if I were you!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

If you see something that looks tight don't speak to staff or phone the British Trouser Police!

YOU sort it!

See it! Sniff it! Snort it!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Gratifying to see that Santa is a blue and a light blue at that!

Being a graduate of the light blues myself ( even though our boat sank at Barnes Bridge in 1978!) that is probably why I am a fan of Manchester City!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Yep I certainly do! It's an annoying little bugger and it's currently crawling down the back of my neck!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Hey all you ladyboys out there in Thailand! Be afraid! Be very afraid!"

The dainty morsels that you offer to European tourists are now under threat from a more substantial bill of fare ergo

THE FULL BRITISH BUILDER!

These chavvy little buggers from South Essex are guaranteed to "glottal stop" any burly middle-aged businessman in his tracks and have him salivating!

He cums with

A cumberland sausage
Rump steak
Button mushroom nipples
Brown sauce or mayonnaise!
Have I forgotten anything!? Oh yes!

A load of bollocks ( or at least two!) cos that's all they ever talk down there!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Gratifying to see that LENIN is taking full advantage of his Senior Railcard to go interrrailing round Europe!

Have you ever considered that from his name V. I.LENIN you can actually make the words VILE and EVIL!?

A tenuous link I grant you but one wonders whether they have ever tried this on COUNTDOWN!?

 

[Sniffademskidz]

As Baldrick was once told never to remove his trousers for fear of traumatising the world in.like manner we would ask these gentlemen never to remove their masks!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

If unexpected guests appear at the Grealish household on Christmas Day and there isn't enough food to go round they can always fall back on Jack's calves and thighs!

Not to mention the parsons nose!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

I've heard of crying into one's pillow but never into a jockstrap!

That might just be a step too far and all rather messy Messi!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Sweet little Joshua Cavallo who came out not so long ago and teammate Jacob Tratt who has a lovely arse!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

26 year old CALLUM ROBINSON If WBA!

I wholeheartedly concur with both the adjectives used to describe him but would simply remove the H from the word HEATING to ensure a veritable feast!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

I have to admit that I find Carol singers intensely annoying as they proceed effortlessly to assassinate all your favourite carols!
However I could be persuaded to change my attitude if these guys were ever to come knocking on my door!
I would ply them with mince pies and sausage rolls and ensure that the fifth guy from the left in the jester's hat was treated to an extra generous helping of sausage meat!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

SAMSUC@?

No I don't think i could ever get sic of Sam especially in his lucky number 7 shirt!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Nasty 18 year old MARCO NASTI of the AC MILAN youth team is a horny little fucker! I bet his girlfriend has to change her soaking wet panties at least three times a day when she is around him! He may be wearing number 9 but unlike Lady Jane Grey he would be no nine day wonder in MY book!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Spanish footballer RODRI has a fine arse on him and his compatriot RU BEN DIAS has many fine assets!



Just waiting for them to sign up U BEN DOVER!