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Sniffing footballers' arses!

There are so many days now on which various events are celebrated such as "International Women's Day" on 8 March and a myriad of others!

However I really think that it is about time we instituted

"SHAFT A SHITTER" day!

Let your imaginations soar my boys but one of my first choices would be 23 year old PATRICK NAISH of the afl!

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I love the chavvy look of this boy with his towsled hair and just imagine ploughing your way through a similar forest between the cheeks of his arse!

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I'm not sure about ANZAC day! If his ankles were resting on my shoulders I think it would be more a case of

RANSACK DAY!!!!

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-" When did you last wash your feet mate!? They fucking stink!!!"

-"Why do you think God gave you a tongue Patrick!?"

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20 year old PIERO HINCAPIE of Ecuador!

Just look at those lovely little buns in Royal Blue!

I bet they're real stinkers!!

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25 year old Scottish footballer CRAIG HOWIE!

This is him on the right! Phwoar!!!!

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NORTHERN GAS AND POWER!

Just give me the gas out of your arse and let me sniff your smellers baby!!!

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DARYL JANMAAT!

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He's well stacked up front so it's always a good idea to make sure the back door is also accessible!!!
 
EMIL BUENDIA!

"Buen Dia" is Spanish for "Good day" and let's face it! Anyone within sniffing distance of those buns will be deemed to have had a good day!

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28 year old UROS DJURDJEVIC showing us that he loves a 99 but whether he is taking or giving the chocolate flake the jury is still out!!

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Japanese footballer TAISHI TAGUCHI!

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Would love to see him suited and booted so I could strip him down to his black socks and tighty whities then fill his shaven haven with my finest clotted cream as I sniff those smelly feet in turn! Mmmmm!
 
It's feeding time at the Etihad stadium in Manchester!

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Now don't make a sound! Be very very quiet and you will hear the sound of a pussy meeowing!

This little pink pussy pucker is so hungry and cannot do without his daily fix of cream!

So go to it boys! Feed a Premier League pussy today or I'll report you to the RSPCA!!!!!

See it! Feed it! Sorted!
 
Pedro Calderón de la Barca and Miguel de Cervantes were arguably the finest writers of Spanish literature!

Their names Iive on into the present if not in literature at least in football ergo

CRISTIAN CALDERON

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and ALAN CERVANTES

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It is said that the pen is mightier than the sword but if you have been on the receiving end of eight inches of the cold steel dangling between the legs of these two hunks I think it would have a pretty lasting effect on you!!!!
 
40 year old snooker player DAVID GILBERT is well worth a sniff between the buns but it's so frustrating that the arse shots which were such a feature of snooker in the early days have now been consigned to history!

I'd certainly kiss his brown till it was a nice shade of pink!!!

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"This online shopping is not all it's cracked up to be!

I ordered one of those new "living umbrella stands" for the hall hoping that he would have something that I could hang at least three umbrellas on and this is what I got!

I'll have to put it back into the box and send it back for a replacement!"

- - - Updated - - -

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"This online shopping is not all it's cracked up to be!

I ordered one of those new "living umbrella stands" for the hall hoping that he would have something that I could hang at least three umbrellas on and this is what I got!

I'll have to put it back into the box and send it back for a replacement!"
 
20 year old ZAK BUTTERS of the afl!

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There is a special saying in the English language

"Fine words butter no parsnips"

Which equates to

"Flattery is empty!"

However I don't think I would pass up the chance to butter Zak's parsnips, his leeks, cauliflowers or anything else in his garden!!!

- - - Updated - - -

20 year old ZAK BUTTERS of the afl!

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There is a special saying in the English language

"Fine words butter no parsnips"

Which equates to

"Flattery is empty!"

However I don't think I would pass up the chance to butter Zak's parsnips, his leeks, cauliflowers or anything else in his garden!!!
 
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