So I got called a "NIGGER" after rejecting a White guy.

[-Kane-]

Why do some white guys do this?

I was logged onto one of the known dating/hook up sites when I got a message from this guy who seemed nice at first, but quickly got angry when I rejected him.

He was 32 yrs old. Average looking.

He said "man you are Hot! How are you?". Even though I was not attracted to him, I always try to respond to people by atleast saying thank you once I recieve a compliment.

After saying thanks, I will no longer respond after the first message with the hope that the other person will catch the hint that I'm not interested and move on.

So after not responding to his subsequent messages, he writes "what's wrong? you're not into White guys?" I write back: Yes, I'm into White guys, I'm just not into "You"...

He responds: " cool, I'm not into stuck up arrogant niggers anyway"

Is this the defense some white men use when they are rejected by a person of color? That shit is so lame!

 

[FPNY]

wow, nasty thing to say to you indeed. Sorry you had to read that. I can only imagine how you feel. I think you could have been a tad less arrogant in your response to him, apparently you hurt his feelings, so he wanted to hurt yours.

 

[oakpope]

For me it's just a mechanism of defence. He felt threatened by your rejection and choose the more offensive word he could think of, just to hurt you.

There is nothing wrong with you and you should really not sweat over it, it's the other person problem to not be able to handle simple rejection well.
He's an asshole, move on

Would he be a straight woman rejected by you, she would probably had say "faggot"

 

[-Kane-]

wow, nasty thing to say to you indeed. Sorry you had to read that. I can only imagine how you feel. I think you could have been a tad less arrogant in your response to him, apparently you hurt his feelings, so he wanted to hurt yours.

How was my response to him arrogant? He asked a question and I answered it.
I get pissed when White guys (wrongly) assume that a Black guy isn't into ALL White guys simply because they were the ones soley rejected. It seems like it's easier for the White guy's ego if he believes his entire "group" was rejected as oppose to him as an individual.

I'm not Oprah nor Dr. Phil and even I can figure that one out....So sad, yet typical.

 

[rareboy]

He was an asshole.

Just be glad that you didn't go any farther with him.

 

[palbert]

Unfortunately life's interactions are occasionally unpleasant. Consider yourself fortunate that this one was distant and not physical.

I would in future be more neutral in initial conversation - assholes show themselves fairly quickly - give them time without provocation.

 

[FPNY]

I was thinking that the I'm into white guys just not into you comment is a bit harsh thats all. It certainly doesn't give him the right to say what he said. I think you should talk to people the way you want to be spoken to. I wouldn't like it if someone said that to me....nor would you I'd bet....

 

[rareboy]

^ No, but I would have just replied 'Fuck You Asshat...you don't know what you're missing' to the OP and not immediately think 'Nigger'.

 

[Beachguyj]

You were rude and blunt, which does not give him a reason to be racist back at you, but if you say things nicely you will get a better response. Next time it's better to not respond after you say "thanks" if you are not interested in the guy, just block the person if they try to instigate you.

 

[bryce]

I have a profile on Adam here in Atlanta that's very down-to-earth and grounded for the most part, but I have one bit in there thats says, "I generally find myself attracted to black men". About once a month I get some kind of random "Nigger-Lover" message. Of course the little shits are cowards and block me before I have a chance to make a response. I know a response probably would go nowhere but I still want to lay into them.

We are a long ways from racism being gone from our world, but with that said... we've come an awfully long ways in the last 50 years too.

I see racism and reverse-racism everyday. It's sad but I do believe its getting better.

 

[nfgrls]

You were rude and blunt, which does not give him a reason to be racist back at you, but if you say things nicely you will get a better response. Next time it's better to not respond after you say "thanks" if you are not interested in the guy, just block the person if they try to instigate you.

sorry there is nothing rude about being honest. He could of been mean to the guy and said he was ugly or something but he told the guy he was not into him after ignoring messages from him.

 

[refujiunderground]

he's a bitch. fuck him. the thing that gets me is if it was in reverse where you came at him, he rejected you and you called from something offensive. he would have felt like you were wrong but yet he feels it's okay for him to do that. good you rejected his bitch ass.

 

[DigitalFudge]

I laughed at the title

I laughed at the post.

He obviously got real emotional and I would of laughed directly into my phone.


Why are you catching feelings over a guy you don't even know Mr. Racist?

I live for this shit.


Just the other day some guy on facebook was coming for my friend's photo of him kissing his boyfriend.

Everyone was defending the gay kiss and what not but the guy who was against it had me ROLLING.

None of these people can hurt me anymore, I'm titanium.

I have a profile on Adam here in Atlanta that's very down-to-earth and grounded for the most part, but I have one bit in there thats says, "I generally find myself attracted to black men". About once a month I get some kind of random "Nigger-Lover" message. Of course the little shits are cowards and block me before I have a chance to make a response. I know a response probably would go nowhere but I still want to lay into them.

We are a long ways from racism being gone from our world, but with that said... we've come an awfully long ways in the last 50 years too.

I see racism and reverse-racism everyday. It's sad but I do believe its getting better.

I assure you every single guy who left a message 12 minutes later started jerking off to thug porn.

They are so transparent, repressed and predictable. Again, I am so amused.

 

[G-Lexington]

Sorry, I don't think "I'm into white guys - I'm just not into you" wasn't overly rude or harsh. Yeah, the OP didn't respond to the guy's additional overtures, but what made this guy pull the race card out? "What's a matter - you not into white guys?" What kind of comment is that? It suggests that the only reason that the OP might have for not being interested is "having a thing against whites". The OP's response could've been politer, yes, but it wasn't hellaciously rude either. He didn't call the guy ugly or anything. He just said "I'm not into you" - that's standard for hook-up and dating sites.

That said, I'm glad nothing resulted from the exchange. It sounds like he's quite the catch.

Lex

 

[Beachguyj]

Sorry, I don't think "I'm into white guys - I'm just not into you" wasn't overly rude

First of all it was capital You, which looks hostile. Maybe it wasn't "overly" rude, but it was rude enough to get a hostile response.

All he had to say what "I'm into all kinds of guys" . Leave it at that. If you get a response after that, ignore it.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>All he had to say what "I'm into all kinds of guys" . Leave it at that. If you get a response after that, ignore it.

I said he could've been politer, but I don't think he was overly rude, either. But I have a feeling we're just going to have to disagree here.

Lex

 

[Beachguyj]

>>>All he had to say what "I'm into all kinds of guys" . Leave it at that. If you get a response after that, ignore it.

I said he could've been politer, but I don't think he was overly rude, either. But I have a feeling we're just going to have to disagree here.

Lex

Not overly rude, means he was rude.

Why don't you know how to quote, would you like to learn?

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>Not overly rude, means he was rude.

I don't know how to rate "rudeness", but I'd give this one a mellow rating. 2 out of 10, maybe?

Why don't you know how to quote, would you like to
learn?

I know how to quote, actually. I've been on messageboards since before there was a quote button, and back then, it was SOP to copy and paste the quote and add three greater-than symbols before. I did it enough that I got really good at it, and do it extremely quickly without even thinking. But thank you for offering to teach me.

Lex

 

[fetaby]

Some people don't understand that an ignored message isn't an invitation to keep sending more.

It's best to state intentions early to avoid misunderstanding.

None of that has anything to do with that guy being a racist though. It's very likely he would have called you that regardless of the way you rejected him.

 

[WestCoastWilson]

Kane, I agree 100% with FPNY. After using the internet for over 12 years and dealing with so many online connection sites, I have learned a great deal, in that often what people write online or in emails or in text messages, sometimes can come out in a positive or negative manner, based on the “reader’s” interpretation of it.

Since I have placed and answered hundreds of online messages from various connection sites over the years, I have learned a thing or two about how to positively handle the situation you have described.

99% of the time, if I complimented a guy and he only said “Thank you.” and never commented about my photo or profile or never basically said anything else, I always wrote off those type of responses “from them” as they are not interested. So I moved on. Yet when I was in your shoes, I would say “Thank you.” and not add anything else to my message (when I was not into the guy who wrote me, if I was not into his photo or profile). Normally most guys take the hint of “Thank you.” or “Thanks” and they will move on . . . however about 1% of the time (in my own personal experiences), guys will write back and ask, if I want to meet them etc. etc. etc. after I just said “Thank you.” So what I would do is write back to them something short and sweet like “You seem like a great guy, however I do not think that we would be a good match.” Then “normally” 99% of the time, the guy will not reply back again or they may write back something like “Thank you for replying back and for being honest.” and then you never hear from them again . . . then there are those diehard guys that will write back AGAIN and start spouting-off (in an angry tone) something like you don’t know me or who are you to judge me or what was it in my ad/profile that you feel that we would not make a good match? Then at that point, I never write those guys back, because if they can not take the hint and move on, I figure I’m dealing with a nut-case. I think that guy you were dealing with was definitely ad nut-case.

However I found that early on, if you are that blatantly honest with guys (i.e. saying I'm just not into "You"), often they will take offense and then seem to want to start an online war with you. Yet in my case, whenever I was online looking for someone, I was always nice to online guys (even if I didn’t like them for whatever reason). However the most I would ever write to a guy that I was not interested in, was just twice, and then I'd ignored whatever they wrote afterwards. Yet I always wrote nice & polite replies (if I had to write a guy for a second time, but that second time was my final time writing to them). Mainly, I always try to re-read my reply before sending it to a guy, to make sure I do not have anything in the reply to give him ammunition, in case he wanted to start a war.

Now with that being said, if you want to participate in someone’s war against you, then I say go for it and be brutally honest, BUT be prepared for a lot of nasty insults tossed at you. Yet in my case, I had better things to do and I was not interested in getting caught up in someone’s drama about me rejecting them. When I have used connection sites, I never once ask someone why they were not into me. I always took a person’s hint and moved on. Since I am black myself, over the years, I have been thrown racial insults, simply because I was black. Yet I never let that bother me, since I’m used to meeting people that are racist no matter where I go . . . even on the internet.

Kane, good luck to you, but never ever let those type of online racist nut-cases get you down. Best of all, it was nice that you found out this guy's "true" colors up front . . . can you imagine if you met this guy and liked him, yet to one day to discover this guy is racist? Yet I will be honest in saying, that I have come across racist gay men (in my lifetime) who are only interested in black men for sex, yet they would never be friends with or be in a relationship with a black man. They only want sex from you, otherwise you are totally dead to them.

Wilson