So I got called a "NIGGER" after rejecting a White guy.

[pat grimshaw]

Do you have any positive pointers about how to communicate on a tiny screen on a phone?

 

[FPNY]

it used to be much easier. we didn't have to communicate. we walked around, say a park, if you were interested in getting together, you followed one another and then did what you had to do. There was none of this I'm into this or I'm into that, if you liked what you saw, you did it....computers f'd everything up...

 

[Críostóir]

IMO the OP was not rude at all. The guy who kept messaging him over and over was being rude, even stalkery, and bluntness was necessary to get him to stop.

And nothing excuses this kind of behavior.

 

[bankside]

Do you have any positive pointers about how to communicate on a tiny screen on a phone?

…maybe not assuming that some random guy on the internet owes anybody a date?
…maybe not assuming if the guy says "no" that he's a racist?

….aaaaaaand
….maybe not calling people "nigger."


communication made simple.
(I think we have a phone company that uses that slogan…)

 

[WestCoastWilson]

it used to be much easier. we didn't have to communicate. we walked around, say a park, if you were interested in getting together, you followed one another and then did what you had to do. There was none of this I'm into this or I'm into that, if you liked what you saw, you did it....computers f'd everything up...

FPNY, LOL!!! I remember the good old days, life before the internet, were people met out in public (cruising, bars, nightclubs, bathhouses, gay community events etc.), even via personal ads in newspapers and magazines. It seems that "before the internet" people were much easier to meet. Yet I agree, the internet has fucked-up everything.

Wilson

 

[MisterMajestic]

it used to be much easier. we didn't have to communicate. we walked around, say a park, if you were interested in getting together, you followed one another and then did what you had to do. There was none of this I'm into this or I'm into that, if you liked what you saw, you did it....computers f'd everything up...

You've been a member of a Porn site for 9yrs...Has that affected your relationship with your partner? You've been with him long before the Internet Blew-up...

Give us an example of how Computers & Cyber-space Fucked up your relationship with your Lover...Have you been having an affair with your Computer VS taking care of your Partners needs?

FPNY, LOL!!! I remember the good old days, life before the internet, were people met out in public (cruising, bars, nightclubs, bathhouses, gay community events etc.), even via personal ads in newspapers and magazines. It seems that "before the internet" people were much easier to meet. Yet I agree, the internet has fucked-up everything.

Wilson

Uuuhhm...People still cruise, frequent bars, nightclubs, bathhouses and gay community events....You're using the internet to surf and log into places that you enjoy visiting..You're possibly making friends along the way...

The internet hasnt done anything to you...Have you stopped socializing in Public? If you have how is that your Computers fault?

You and FPNY are going left-field a bit...

 

[Beachguyj]

I'm not into meeting people online. I did it a few times for hookups and it usually didn't turn out well. I'd rather meet people in person. That's how I made a good friend, lucky for me he approached me first. I also usually go out 2 nights a week to try to meet new friends, and possibly more than friends, but I want it to start out as friends.

 

[pat grimshaw]

I love the internet but I insist it's a lesser form of communication than telephones and real life.

 

[-Kane-]

WoW

I knew this would probably get a few replies, but not a page 2

I just want to thank all of you for taking the time to respond to the situation. (disagree or agree, I read all of your comments and I thank you for sharing)

As I mentioned earlier, I try to be nice to all guys who message me on those sites, but now I may have to revisit my policy of responding to "every" message.

BTW...I'm a guy with thick skin, I can take almost anything life throws at me (and I can throw it back lol), but something like this shocked me. I've never been called that word before, so it sorta stunned me.

Again, thanks to everyone who offered their thoughts....

 

[WestCoastWilson]

Uuuhhm...People still cruise, frequent bars, nightclubs, bathhouses and gay community events....You're using the internet to surf and log into places that you enjoy visiting..You're possibly making friends along the way...

The internet hasnt done anything to you...Have you stopped socializing in Public? If you have how is that your Computers fault?

You and FPNY are going left-field a bit...

MisterMajestic, well let me clarify it a bit. I should have said when it comes to “internet meetings and connections in regards to looking for love” the internet has really fucked-up everything “for me”. I’m not sure how old you are or where you live, however when I was 18 years old and frequented our gay community here in the greater Los Angeles area, things were a lot different back then . . . where it seemed that most people had to go out to meet in person to find a boyfriend or a partner . . . as I don’t recall ever seeing a lot of gay personal ads in the newspapers and magazines (at least not here in Los Angeles anyway). I have only been using the internet since 1998 and I have never met a boyfriend or partner online, though I tried to for many years. I swear so many guys hide behind their computer, then thanks to photoshop, guys can change their looks, so when you see a guy online, you don’t know if he really looks like that or if the photo is photoshopped, then some guys paint their profiles larger than life. Had I known then (in 1998) what I know now about internet dating, I would not have wasted my time. I would say that 99% of the men I met online in all of those years were nothing but "pure" and "total flakes". So the internet has done something to me, by my wasting my time looking for love on it. Yet I blame myself, since I should have stuck to the old fashion way of looking for love, and not look to the internet as an option to finding love. However, truth be told, nobody to told me to wast my time looking for love online, and nor did anyone promise me that I would find love online. LOL!!!

Now with that said, I have made some nice online friends and some nice non-love connections over the years, but those friendship connections amount to less than 1%, with that less than 1% representing my overall good experiences I have had meeting guys online for friendship or sex. So I would say that 99% of “my time” looking for love or friendship or sex online was a total waste of “my time”. I do believe that people do find true love online, but I was never one of them. Yet I don’t fault anyone for finding love or friendship or sex anyway they can find it (either online or offline). However “for me”, coming along pre-Internet days, meeting a guy in person the old fashion way works for me almost every time. Yet all of the years that I met guys in person, I have never once branded any of those guys a flake . . . they were all basically very sincere, nice, good, respectable men. Though we may not have clicked, it was no big deal, but at least those guys were honest and were not flakes. Meeting a guy in person is so much nicer, because you get to see their “real” face and “real” body (no photoshopping going on there). Best of all “for me” when meeting a guy in person, I never had to deal with him making me wait and giving me a ton of excuses why he can not make the 1st date. Because when meeting a guy in person, he is right there “in person” in front of me. So if I a guy and I hit it off during that first meeting, it was always a breeze to get a 1st date, 2nd date, 3rd date, etc. and I never had to deal with a guy just up and falling out of sight or stop calling without an explanation. None of this game playing of keeping you on the hook yet making you wait days and weeks just to go out on a first date or dealing with where a guy just totally stops writing to you and falling totally out of sight, while he kept you on the hook under guise that he was interested in meeting one day soon. Anytime "I met" a guy in person, it was extremely rare that he was a game player.

Now with that being said, I do enjoy the internet for too many reasons than I can count (that do not involve meeting or trying to connect with people), yet “for me” I would never use the internet to look for love again. Yet I am happily partnered, to a great guy I found the old fashion way . . . at a gay social event while letting our mutual chemistry ignite sparks and fireworks for us. When we met each other for the first time (by a chance meeting), it was almost like love at first site. Yet I will also say, that the gay venues that were around to meet other gay men (in the 80's and 90's) are not anywhere near as frequented today . . . some places I used to go closed their doors, some places either had to welcome straight customers or turn into a strait establishment, because “it think” so many guys grew (over the years) to stay home and primarily use the internet for their love, social, and sexual connections and they no longer frequently go out to those gay venues like people once did in the 80's and 90's. So I would say that at least from my experience of the gay community venues here in Los Angeles, there is not as many men out and about like the 80's and 90's, so I found it even harder to meet men out in public in the last 10 years vs. the 80's and 90's.

Yet Godspeed to all of you that have absolutely no trouble meeting guys online (for any reason), and it works for you. Yet "for me", internet meetings are not for me.

Wilson

 

[WestCoastWilson]

WoW

I knew this would probably get a few replies, but not a page 2

I just want to thank all of you for taking the time to respond to the situation. (disagree or agree, I read all of your comments and I thank you for sharing)

As I mentioned earlier, I try to be nice to all guys who message me on those sites, but now I may have to revisit my policy of responding to "every" message.

BTW...I'm a guy with thick skin, I can take almost anything life throws at me (and I can throw it back lol), but something like this shocked me. I've never been called that word before, so it sorta stunned me.

Again, thanks to everyone who offered their thoughts....

Kane, I'm sorry for what had happened to you. Yet I must say this has been a very good topic, without your 2 posts, you received 63 replies to your post.

Wilson

 

[yhtang]

I know how to quote, actually. I've been on messageboards since before there was a quote button, and back then, it was SOP to copy and paste the quote and add three greater-than symbols before. I did it enough that I got really good at it, and do it extremely quickly without even thinking. But thank you for offering to teach me.

Lex

Lex, such restraint in your answer! I respect you.

 

[Taralen]

From a fellow black gay, to another black gay, brother man I feel you.

Not that long ago I went on a date with this really cute white guy off a4a. Out of the blue he sent me a message to go have lunch with him on friday.

So I show up to the date and he acts a damn fool. When we first meet, he directly tells me, "I don't remember talking to any black guys on adam4adam". Lying ass fool. We both saw each others profiles and he's gonna play this shit.

Long story short, the whole thing was a setup. His queen fag friends show up and basically embarrass me in the restaurant calling me "monkey faggot, nigger faggot. you should kill yourself. black and gay?"

But I left the date laughing. It just shows how ignorant some people are.

Just keep your head up, and don't deal with all these ignorant racist fag honky's that are just full of bullshit.

 

[Just_Believe18]

^ Wow, that is terrible. Why would anyone go so out of their way to be cruel to another human being and waste their time on that.

As for the original topic, it sounds like the typical, anonymous online profile. If they can't narrow you down by race, they'll call you something else stupid.

 

[Daximus]

Racist actions are so easy on the internet.

 

[-Kane-]

From a fellow black gay, to another black gay, brother man I feel you.

Not that long ago I went on a date with this really cute white guy off a4a. Out of the blue he sent me a message to go have lunch with him on friday.

So I show up to the date and he acts a damn fool. When we first meet, he directly tells me, "I don't remember talking to any black guys on adam4adam". Lying ass fool. We both saw each others profiles and he's gonna play this shit.

Long story short, the whole thing was a setup. His queen fag friends show up and basically embarrass me in the restaurant calling me "monkey faggot, nigger faggot. you should kill yourself. black and gay?"

But I left the date laughing. It just shows how ignorant some people are.

Just keep your head up, and don't deal with all these ignorant racist fag honky's that are just full of bullshit.

This was just horrible! I can't imagine how I would have reacted to that situation.

 

[-Kane-]

Report him. That's what the button is there for

I did that a couple of times. The administrators of the site wrote back a snorky message saying I should just ignore or block rude people. In other words, they were annoyed that I was wasting their time with such a petty complaint.

 

[Yuki Sohma]

Racial slurs are never in order

 

[SaskGuy]

He just said that because he knew it would seriously offend you.
Just look at how badly he takes rejection. I bet he's a stuck up spoiled prick who always has to have his own way. Being in a relationship like that would be horrible.

 

[Rayvontae]

Ego mending...

The guy can't take rejection, so he tried to make you feel like shit to keep himself from feeling like shit.

He needs a good cussing on GP though. He knows better than to use that word.