The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    To register, turn off your VPN; you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • Hi Guest - Did you know?
    Hot Topics is a Safe for Work (SFW) forum.

So, I had a serious talk with my wife...

  • Thread starter Thread starter peeonme
  • Start date Start date
P

peeonme

Guest
We decided that one of us would not go to the other's funeral.
Have you ever 'skipped' a funeral? I didm't go to my grandmother's funeral years ago as I wanted to avoid the family arguments that always took place.
 
Well, WHICH one of you isn't going to the other's funeral?

And no, I've never skipped a family funeral, but I am considering it if any of my siblings die before me. I can't handle their spouses and faking being close to any of them, plus I'd be put upon for expenses. I'd rather send the money and grieve on my own.

If I go first, which is most likely, I won't really care what they do in my absence.
 
Why would you not go to the other's funeral?
 
NotHardUp1 said:
Well, WHICH one of you isn't going to the other's funeral?

And no, I've never skipped a family funeral, but I am considering it if any of my siblings die before me. I can't handle their spouses and faking being close to any of them, plus I'd be put upon for expenses. I'd rather send the money and grieve on my own.

If I go first, which is most likely, I won't really care what they do in my absence.
Click to expand...

What got us talking about it was the funeral of former first lady Barbara Bush. Politics aside, her and GHW Bush sure loved each other.
 
No, I never skipped a funeral for anyone close unless I was out of town or in finals week at school. I seem to have a vague recollection of a funeral during finals, but can't remember for sure. I know I was out of state or maybe out of the country for one of my uncles.
 
I never go to funerals. All my friends know that (in the unlikely event that I outlive any of them) I will not attend their funerals.

I never attend weddings either.
 
Though I have yet to avoid a family funeral (I avoided the death bed though)...no more funerals for me...or weddings either...

There might be one more I go to though.....

As for my own funeral..I am not going to have one..or a service....so I am not asking anyone to do something I won't do myself.
 
I've learned that the funerals are not for the dead people, but rather for the ones left behind to morn.

Several years ago my daughter befriended a new girl who transferred from a neighbouring school because she was being bullied for being a little chubby. She was a sweet girl and they became fast friends. As it was grade eight, they were making plans for their jr. prom, hair, dresses, shoes, etc. As typical teenage girls, they were so excited. I bought my daughter three different prom dresses because she couldn't decide on just one.

Two weeks before prom her new best friend, aged only 13, took a massive stroke. I remember my daughter running home from school and being so mad and confused because Gillian was in hospital. I thought maybe my daughter got it wrong or was just exaggerating so I talked her down and she calmed. Later that night Gillian took another massive stroke and passed away. Autopsy revealed that she had undiagnised juvenile Leukemia.

The funeral was a heart wrenching affair for everyone, but I'll spare you all the details. Her two older brothers, who were obviously "family" and cute as fuck, talked about their little sister and and thanked everyone for coming, then their mother rose and, in between her sobs, also thanked everyone for coming. She was so pleased that everyone came to support her family and was so happy that her dauughter mattered. She was so afraid that, because her daughter was bullied for years at her old school, her beloved baby girl didn't really matter.

That's when i really learned that funerals aren't for the dead, but to support those loved ones left to morn, and to show that yes, their life mattered.
 
peeonme said:
I looked at the wife and said, "you do realize that one of us will not be at the other's funeral?", she looked at me and said "duh..."
Click to expand...

What if you both die together? Don't you have ajoining plots?
 
Over the years i have been to countless funerals, from my first partner to close friends to patients of mine. To me i find it an essential part of the grieving process, yes i grieve when one of my patients dies, because as a GP i have come to know them in a way a hospital Dr does not.

Showing respect can be a multi faceted affair, this is just one of those facets.
 
peeonme said:
We decided that one of us would not go to the other's funeral.
Have you ever 'skipped' a funeral? I didm't go to my grandmother's funeral years ago as I wanted to avoid the family arguments that always took place.
Click to expand...

I have been lucky and have not lost many people in my life. So far
When my grandfather died I had chicken pox
When my little brother died I had chicken pox
The only other person I know who has died I had fallen out with a couple of years previously and I thought that it would be hypocritical to attend his funeral
 
Only once, when I was flying to the Caribbean the day of the service and couldn't re-book.

Neither my partner or I plan on having a funeral service, so attendance won't be an issue.
 
I have skipped some, they make me uncomfortable and I think most of the ceremony is useless.
 
Chuck, you still haven't answered why you both decided to make the pact. What is there that makes it undesirable to you both?

For my own part, I have enjoyed funerals over the years, celebrating lives lived well, also learning how different families work or don't, as well as different attitudes about death.

As others said, it provides a degree of closures. Sometimes, death comes so suddenly, or we are so resistant against a loss, that it doesn't become real to us. The funeral helps with that process, and we are able to move on.
 
mmmm
im thinking of not attending any of the relatives weddings.
Funerals ? Maybe not too
 
NotHardUp1 said:
Chuck, you still haven't answered why you both decided to make the pact. What is there that makes it undesirable to you both?

For my own part, I have enjoyed funerals over the years, celebrating lives lived well, also learning how different families work or don't, as well as different attitudes about death.

As others said, it provides a degree of closures. Sometimes, death comes so suddenly, or we are so resistant against a loss, that it doesn't become real to us. The funeral helps with that process, and we are able to move on.
Click to expand...

We were watching the Bush funeral, he was at her's, but she won't be at his (as she is already dead). It was a typical interaction between us, a little dumb humor rather than a pact.

As some have pointed out, if we go together we will both be there, at least our remains will be.

I would add that from my perspective I don't like the long drug out type of funeral that includes 3-4 days of
visitation.
 
Many people don't have the whole visitation thing any more. I remember that for my grandparents' generation it just went on and on.

When my parents died, we didn't have any visitation at all. We had them delivered to the church they attended for a straight up, music heavy, Presbyterian service. With minimal eulogies because that shit annoys me.

More and more people are getting cremated around here, with a memorial service of some kind later.

We have found the most bare bones provider of cremation services in this area...for about 1600 bucks they take care of it all and deliver the ash to your door for use on icy sidewalks or whatever.

We don't want one of these 'celebration of life' ordeals. Instead, we are going to sponsor a musical event as a benefit for a favourite charity. Maybe one of us will be around to attend the first one.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top