Seems to me that this guy might not be the right fit. Maybe you should check out another therapist and see how things work. Like others have said, some therapists are better than others. You might have to weed through one or three before you find the right fit.
I hope things really do work out for you though. I'm in your corner, man!
yeah, you know what i'm beginning to realize that the saying "nobody is interested in listening to your problems so keep them to yourself" is very true especially going to therapist. it's their job to basically understand you and 9/10 or at least the ones that i go to completely misunderstand me. instead of figuring you out, running some tests or whatever, they basically just listen to the words what come out your mouth, tell you what they think of it, and are ready to prescribe you pills without being ready to tell you shit.
one thing i'll give him that struck me was that it may seem like i have a possible emotional issue which possibly might be bipolar disorder. he said that those issues about me feeling moody might be something else which i can control or what i'm thinking about which indeed is the case. i have a lot of things on my mind and honestly, when i say it, i don't think people get the message.
Find someone else. Therapy is about insight, not accusation. I'm a great believer in therapy for just that reason, and I know from experience that if you don't feel safe in that first session, get someone else.
Regardless of what your 'issues' are, there are plenty of red flags already. No credible therapist would lay down 'daddy issues' as a description of a patient's problem with their father.
If you're not exaggerating or paraphrasing in any way, I stick by my first impression. Every time I tried to give a therapist the benefit of the doubt, I was wrong.
Insight, not accusation; it won't be comfortable, but you should physically and mentally be in a place of trust and safety.
yeah, that's another thing too. the whole daddy issues thing really hit a sour note with me because like what you said, it was like him accusing me of something and that something is not my fault. a couple of people in here after schooling me made me realize that spewing what i talked to my therapist about wasn't a good idea but on the flip side, i felt in a sense that he rubbed me the wrong way with certain things he said. i just wanted to know if it was just me not responding well to criticism or if it was really him going out of bounce.
i don't see what he could do to change my situation with my father anyway. my father is who he is. people have tried to kiss his ass, treat him nice, help him out or whatever but he's the type of guy that does whatever HE wants to do regardless. he's unappreciative of shit. he feels that he's entitled to everything that he has without even lifting a finger to work for it. it's like he views himself as a king and everyone else being underneath him. when he acts nice, it's hard to tell if he's geniunely being nice or if he's doing it with a motive so you can't take his word for what it is.
with that said, i've witnessed what he's done to my mother, to people around him and etc. he's not in it for anybody besides himself and always has been. he's my father, i am his son but it hasn't been a relationship where he respects me. it's been more so of him telling me how to live my life, being controlling and him showing bits of love when he wants to show it. in other words, he wants to be a father when it suits him.
Your father sounds like mine, in that he is/has always been more interested in talking about himself. I decided awhile back to pick and choose discussion topics with my father based on things we have in common. He is who he is. I have friends and more supportive family with whom to discuss sexuality openly and freely. I am more fully socially happier with them.
Regarding therapists, I have been fortunate in the few that I have chosen. They were distinctly process oriented people but weren't timid in meeting issues when they needed to be met. The first one (long ago) was helpful when I was having a rough time with my life generally. The second one (years ago) helped with grief. The third one (met with him just once) when I needed clarification on a very personal issue.
It's difficult for me to say what you should do, per se. I guess that if you stay with this therapist, figure out what exactly he can help you accomplish. Maybe he has better skills in certain areas. Nobody's perfect. If you go to a new one, I would try to seek out a gay-friendly professional, if that is a concern of yours.
yeah, a gay friendly professional would be nice. that reminds me... i have this lgbt book underneath my bed and there's some lgbt related therapists in there. you know something though. i feel that a therapist is a good listener and it seems like there's not too many therapist that listen.
hell, as crazy as it sounds, i'm thinking that a therapist would at least pull teeth just to get everything. you know.... it's funny because i noticed with some of these therapist, i'm opening myself to them thinking that they'll be a friend to me and help but their approach makes me close myself off to them.
like if i tell a doctor that i'm mad with so and so or this person is looking at me wrong. i expect them to listen to me, hear why i'm upset, try to figure out what i'm really saying and then redress what i say in a different light. like maybe they were looking at you wrong because they didn't like you? maybe you were looking at them funny? how do you act around others? you know, stuff like that. saying that i should be more confident in regards to me being paranoid about so and so looking at me wrong. that isn't really helping me. i should have asked him, how do i become more confident to avoid a situation where someone is looking at me like they want to kill me or acting suspicious like they're going to snatch me up or something.
Go to someone else. My therapist would never say such a thing, especially on the first session.
The way my therapist origonallybdescribed our relationship, was as follows: that I would talk about things and that he would ask me the questions that would lead ME to discovering the origins to most of my problems. Yes, he offers input and advice, but boldly proclaiming "Daddy Issues" (as if he got his license by watching a full season of How I Met Your Mother) on the first session is ridiculous.
Some of the stories I hear from other folks and their therapist make me both appreciative and fearful of ever having to get another in the event of something happening to him or me moving.
you have a good therapist.
it's funny how a lot of the ones that i've been to don't even ask questions. they just tell me what they think instead of trying to figure it out.
i might try to call them again.
it would have been like okay, you're upset that you might be gay. so you still feel this way about your life and being angry and such. i think she would have made more sense out of everything. i don't think this therapist is able to put two and two together like that. if he can't deal with me on a certain issue that is close to my heart or might be a underlying cause to why i feel a certain way, what good is his help to do with me? you know, with being gay and all, i go to coming out groups and lgbt gatherings but there's times when i actually want to tell so and so at the moment that i hate being closeted where i'm basically living a lie around my loved ones. i talk about it on the web which is one way of going about it but then i have to deal with offline too. i do not feel comfortable with the whole idea of coming out and being openly gay. hell.... the person i am now is basically is a result of me being closeted for so many years where i've felt the need to have a super masculine image to conceal who i really am.