So scared I feel sick

[whatsitallmean]

This is all I am thinking about right now and I think I am actually making myself sick over it.

A few months ago I met a guy, and, please don't berate me, I am aware of how utterly stupid this was, but at one point I did have unprotected sex with him. He was (is) my first guy, he said he always used condoms, and he had also been tested, and I KNOW that is no excuse or reason and I made a horrible choice, but I did and that's that.

A few days ago I came down with a sore throat, and while that doesn't happen all that often to me, it's not so unusual. What did disturb me was that the glands in my neck are swollen too, and I have never had that before. While that does happen to people and can be normal, it seems highly unusual to me that as someone who had never had that before, I would suddenly get it now, within a few months of having sex with this guy.

Looking online, such a sympton within two to four weeks of contracting HIV can be indicative of such. It seems to me that this is just too weird to be a random sore throat. I know that no one here is a medical doctor, and plan on going to get myself tested anyway, but until then I am literally making myself sick with fever and hating myself over this. Based on your opinions (I am aware that that is all they are), if this situation was yours, would you be convinced that this was not just a random sore throat? How worried would you be? Doesn't this seem highly unusual to you? I am completely freaked out and have practically decided on my fate already.

 

[3nipples]

I think it's likelier that you have swine flu.

 

[openthedark]

What makes you say that?

 

[Orlandude]

Speculating about what is wrong makes no sense. I'm not a doctor but your symptoms, as you describe them, can be caused by many things, least of all HIV or swine flu. It doesn't matter that you never had the symptoms in the past. Before you make yourself totally sick with worry, what you need to do is to see your doctor as soon as possible.

 

[Seasoned]

I agree. See a doctor soon. What did the two of you do which was unprotected "at one point?"

 

[puka-pride]

just go to the dr get some meds get tested for HIV and get over with it... ur more than likely just over reacting and next maybe u'll learn from ur mistake

 

[whatsitallmean]

What did the two of you do which was unprotected "at one point?"

Anal sex.

ur more than likely just over reacting

I hope like anything that is true.

 

[spencer]

At least you know he had been tested. Just get tested and tell the medical professional the story. They will help calm you down and explain to you that you shouldn't worry until there something to worry about. In the meantime, don't make that mistake again.

 

[KaraBulut]

I'll spare you the lecture. It sounds like you know where you went wrong.

Just remember this feeling when you are faced with the decision to bareback again.

Since this exposure sounds like it was some time in the past - weeks or months- then you're now at the point where you would get a reliable HIV antibody result. Go get tested for your own peace of mind.

There's a saying that every nursing and medical school student hears:
When you hear hoof beats, look for horses, not zebras.

The saying means that symptoms like sore throat are associated with a lot of things. However, it's more likely that a person has a sore throat from cold, flu or allergies. And that's probably the case here.

 

[whatsitallmean]

Just get tested and tell the medical professional the story.

I am going to schedule an appointment at the doctor. Should I mention anything about this since I'm going somewhere else to get tested for STDs anyway or should I just let him give me a check up?

 

[3nipples]

It is not a bad idea to have your HIV testing done somewhere where you remain anonymous. That way you can arrange additional health insurance coverage without anyone being able to prove a pre-existing condition. I suppose in countries with universal health care, it isn't a big issue, although even there, you can get additional coverage.

 

[Yohan1989]

Dont say you haved HIV. "Life and Death are in the power of your tongue." < A biblical saying... I'm not saying because the Law of Attraction idea tells me so, but I can say that it's real.

Try not to worried and finish up what it's hurting you. Get your-self of Lemon and drink that natural pure lemon juice, eat aloe vera, take omega 3 fish oil, coconut oil, anything that has a lot of Vit C like orange. Dont drink anything that is dairy. And you know what is not healthy for you. (my fav tips. dont eat microwave foods)

I have faith that you be heal. <<< Not saying as a joke I know if you put good things in you, you be find.


lastly, go see a doctor. If the doctor wants to give you ant-biotic dont dear take it. Believe me.

 

[whatsitallmean]

The doctor diagnosed me with mono. This has not allayed my fears at all because the symptoms are similar and speaking to a few people online, some have told me that they were misdiagnosed with that early on. I am weak and a little fatigued, but I do not feel exhausted or tired all the time as I would imagine someone with mono would. I did mention my history to my doctor but she said we should focus on this first, and after calling me to tell me she was sure it was mono, did not mention anything else about what I had told her.

My bf is going to get tested soon so I will know for sure about that. I'm still a nervous wreck.

If the doctor wants to give you ant-biotic dont dear take it. Believe me.

What makes you say that? I was prescribed Amoxicillin for my throat. After looking it up online, I found that many sites state you should not be taking that with mono, and that it can cause one to develop a rash. I asked my doctor and she said it was rare and I should continue to take it, although online it actually said 90% of people will develop the rash. I also called up a few pharmacies as well as another doctor, and they all told me it's not a good idea to take it. The doctor told me I should stop taking the medication now, but I don't know who to listen to.

 

[bounder]

^ so then allay your fears by just getting tested!!!

 

[CudDULL]

Have you gotten tested yet? Shouldn't that have been the first thing you've done since you were paranoid? I'm not saying you don't have a right to be, I've been in your shoes without the whole flu-like symptoms but I immediately got tested the following week and got it over with so I could have my peace of mind.

 

[whatsitallmean]

Thanks all for the advice and support. I got tested and....it was negative!!! Omg, I was so relieved it was crazy. I feel like I have a second chance. Thank God.

Shouldn't that have been the first thing you've done since you were paranoid?

Yes, but the first part of the week I was feeling very sick and couldn't go out, and some other things came up after that. Luckily I cleared everything I had to do today and just went to get tested instead, and it was the best thing for me. All of the worrying and imagining and what-ifs were literally tearing me apart.

 

[whatsitallmean]

The most important thing is to learn from your mistakes, so remember: no condom-> no sex!

Am I just being crazy? I told my bf that even though I tested negative, I wanted him to be tested too. He went and got tested, and he's negative as well. The thing is that the ordeal scared me so much that I feel uncomfortable barebacking, even with someone I know is safe. I told my bf that I wanted to use condoms anyway but he keeps questioning me as to why, since we are both negative, and monogamous. Plus he can't orgasm with a condom. Is it dumb of me to want to wear condoms with my negative, monogamous bf? What logical reason can I give him to continue doing so? Is there one?

 

[KaraBulut]

Is it dumb of me to want to wear condoms with my negative, monogamous bf?

You just went through an HIV scare. So, you tell us- which of the following is dumb-

A. Barebacking and then freaking out every time you get a sore throat or
B. Using condoms to protect you and your partner?

What logical reason can I give him to continue doing so?

Because people who care about each other practice safer sex.

Is there one?

There is another: "Because if you want to put your dick in my ass ever again, you will put a condom on it"

 

[3nipples]

Many boyfriends, when they cheat on you, won't tell you about it. This makes it difficult for them to suggest a condom for the three months following the lapse. It's a very real risk.

 

[whatsitallmean]

I think it's pretty irresponsible to have sex without protection, even with your boyfriend. I know you probably trust him, but that's not going to keep you away from aids, herpes...

But he was tested, and is completely clean.

If he tells you he can't orgasm with a condom (btw I don't believe that...), you can find out another way to make him cum (hand job or something like that).

I believe it's true. We have tried with a condom and he can't finish. I can't get him to finish with a BJ or HJ either. I think he is "addicted" as it were to the feeling of bareback, kind of like how guys who masturbate to porn too much may only be able to finish off with their own hand and not by other means, including actual sex. Is there any way to maybe re-sensitize him to other areas besides bareback?

I try to put myself in your situation, and I guess I would try to understand him, and as long I know he isn't cheating, MAYBE I would let him bareback me. I'm talking in case your relationship's stability is strong, not with a 1 moth boyfriend. I'm not sure if you understand me. English isn't my native language, so I'm trying to explain myself the best I can.

You are explaining yourself fine. It has been a little more than several months since I've been dating him, so it is not a brand new relationship.

Anyway you are not being crazy, so don't feel bad. You are being intelligent and sensible.

Thank you.

You just went through an HIV scare. So, you tell us- which of the following is dumb-

A. Barebacking and then freaking out every time you get a sore throat or
B. Using condoms to protect you and your partner?

When you put it in writing like this it makes a lot of sense. However, when I am with my bf and he reiterates how we are both tested and clean, how we are very honest with each other, and are monogamous, when I say that I want to use a condom just for peace of mind he doesn't understand my reasoning, and I thinks I'm being a hypochondriac.

There is another: "Because if you want to put your dick in my ass ever again, you will put a condom on it"

During my scare I had this attitude, that no matter what I would stick to my guns, even if it seems irrational to him. But now...

Many boyfriends, when they cheat on you, won't tell you about it. This makes it difficult for them to suggest a condom for the three months following the lapse. It's a very real risk.

Although I trust him, you are right. The fact is that people are people and you never really KNOW. I do believe he would tell me if he cheated, but I guess I can't be 100% sure.

Is there a timeframe where anyone thinks it's ok to bareback with your bf? After dating 6 months? 3 years? 15 years? Or never? If anything, I would think that as time goes by a person is more likely to cheat, as usually things get more quiet in the bedroom department.