Someone please explain children out of wedlock and single parent homes...

[Musik2400]

I never called unwed women whores.

Your anger is misguided. It should be directly at the women that open their legs and have kids without thinking about whether or not they can afford the child and teach the child right from wrong. It's really no different than a prostitute, except a prostitute is paid.

Nope, not whores, just prostitutes.

Do your friends provide/d you shelter? Clothes? Did they give birth to you? Did they teach you right from wrong?

Yes, Yes, No, yes.

When I first moved out I fell onto some hard times, lost my job and had no place to live, and no way to get back to my parents for shelter. A friend of mine took me in and I lived with them for nearly six months. I had trouble finding a new job, so they bought me the things I needed (food clothes, et.) and in exchange I kept their place absolutely immaculate, I took care of their pets, and basically did everything within my power to make it up to them.

No they didn't give birth to me but what you seem to miss here is that parents aren't the be all end all when it comes to learning what's right and wrong. They provide a foundation yes, but children learn their own set of values and morals through experience and interaction with a variety of people. Everyone in your life influences your morals, and your views of what is right and wrong, not just your parents.

If you respect your parents as much as the friends you've made through school or the neighborhood, I'm at a loss for words.

Well than maybe your parents are the ones who did their job wrong.. I don't know about you but I was taught that everyone should gain the same level of respect from me wether a friend, a teacher, or my parents. Now maybe this isn't the way you were raised, but we can't all have the perfect upbringing by two perfect university graduates that you were priveliged with. Not all of us can be as self-righteous as you clearly are.

 

[blackbeltninja]

^I think you're missing his point, and I think you're doing so deliberately.

What the OP was trying to say, and you're ham-fistedly trying to ignore, is that when children are young/er parents need to be parents first and foremost, and friends after that.

Your friends may have fed and clothed and sheltered you at some point, but not when you were 5 or 9 or 13.

-d-

 

[Lostlover]

Nope, not whores, just prostitutes.

I didn't call unwed mothers prostitutes. I said they're both giving it up for free. One's getting paid though. And one is illegal and unfortunately the other is becoming the norm.

I'm also very well aware the a university isn't for everyone. People of all stripes shouldn't be careless when it comes to raising children. That's my point. And most people I believe know right from wrong.

 

[Lostlover]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anecdotal_evidence

I'm talking about my experiences. I could have started this thread with statistics but that's not the route I'm taking. I was hoping people would volunteer their experiences

We all know there are some UGLY out-of-wedlock statistics. Hideous. So, why act like i can't google them and post them here?

 

[Lostlover]

^I think you're missing his point, and I think you're doing so deliberately.

What the OP was trying to say, and you're ham-fistedly trying to ignore, is that when children are young/er parents need to be parents first and foremost, and friends after that.

Your friends may have fed and clothed and sheltered you at some point, but not when you were 5 or 9 or 13.

-d-

Thank you. People have lost their minds. No one really disagrees with me, they just don't like me saying it. And some think I'm talking about their relatives. One person isn't even in America and yet he thought I know his mom!

I showed some of the responses in this thread to my brother's girlfriend. And she couldn't believe they were serious, but at the same time she's heard similar silly responses too at school. One friend dropped out of school to have her child. The father moved states. And the single mom told my brother's girlfriend that she didn't need the father and she'd make do without him. Great, let the sperm donor off the hook because you're going to show him who's boss through their prop, I mean child.

 

[blackbeltninja]

Statistics would be a much more factual road.

Agreed.

-d-

 

[Lostlover]

It's not the route you're taking because it would prove that your experiences aren't entirely accurate.

Okayyyyyyyy.

 

[blackbeltninja]

I don't think you'd be able to grasp the point, anyway.

Well, maybe if you speak v-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-ry slowly I might have a fighting chance.

-d-

 

[Geoffboyardee]

I truly blame the school systems. They are one of the most fucked up systems EVER. Plus, greedy politicians that won't contribute a dime don't help either.

 

[Lostlover]

I truly blame the school systems. They are one of the most fucked up systems EVER. Plus, greedy politicians that won't contribute a dime don't help either.

A lot of times the children have to be raised and scolded like children because they're not getting it at home. And they usually come from these broken homes with immature parents. And they're overwhelmingly out of wedlock.

If teachers didn't have to parents, we'd have stellar schools.

 

[Lostlover]

This is definitely worth posting over again.



Wow. Just wow.

For the record, I would never sit my sister (if I had one) down--while she's pregnant no less and say to her, "Just to let you know, you have shamed the family." What fucking year are we living in?

I'm sure you'd tell her she had lipstick on her teeth if she was about to go out for a job interview. But talking to her about stacking the chips against a newborn, by having him or her out of wedlock, is totally out of the question.

My attitude might be cold and corrosive to you, however you're not the one dealing with it. If I wasn't where I am, I'd probably brush the thread off too. Hey, it's someone else's problem. When in reality it is everyone's problem. From one of my family studies courses, if i remember correctly, 80% of inmates are born out f wedlock. So, if you're robbed, assaulted, raped or murdered thank an unwed mother and a sperm donor father.

But to act like someone's grievances, with a real problem, aren't serious because I'm using heated language, only serves to dodge the real issue. Why are so many people careless when it comes conceiving child?

 

[Aaron]

First of all, let me say that you are truly an asshole of the highest order. If the mods wish to ban me for this, then so be it.
Your smug condemnation of unwed mothers as whores and your complete disrespect even for your own mother when you talk about her keeping her legs closed until marriage only shows your utter contempt for all women. What decent son would even consider saying such a vile thing to his Mom?

Having said that, I believe families need to be planned. This means the parent needs to be as emotionally, psychologically and financially prepared as possible to raise a child. Parenting is a lot of hard word and while single parents have all my respect for making it work, I have no idea how they do it alone, especially young women who have not completed their educations and begun careers and become living independent lives.

As to your remark about "shaming the family", you apparently overlook the fact that much of the world see gays as a blight on the family, too. According to them and other haters, like you, we threaten to bring down society.
And make no mistake about this: you are a hater!

For the sake of argument, let's say having children out of wedlock is wrong. How does your heaping condemnation and shame on them help anyone?

I realize nothing anyone says here will make any difference to you because like most attention seeking whores, you don't care whether the attention is positive or negative, as long as someone notices you.

Enjoy it.

Terrific!



It must be so nice to live in a world that's as black and white as the OP's clearly is. And all the rest of us schmucks stuck out here in reality.

 

[LilBit]

I'm talking about my experiences. I could have started this thread with statistics but that's not the route I'm taking. I was hoping people would volunteer their experiences

We all know there are some UGLY out-of-wedlock statistics. Hideous. So, why act like i can't google them and post them here?

Statistics are meaningless in this discussion. Correlation is not the same thing as causation.

 

[blackbeltninja]

Proverbs 16:22.

Noah Webster's revision of the KJV
Understanding is a well-spring of life to him that hath it: but the instruction of fools is folly.
1853 Leeser Old Testament
Intelligence is a source of life unto its possessor; but the correction of fools is folly.
Young's Literal Translation
A fountain of life is understanding to its possessors, The instruction of fools is folly.
John Nelson Darby Translation
Wisdom is a fountain of life for him that hath it; but the instruction of fools is folly.
American Standard Version
Understanding is a well-spring of life unto him that hath it; But the correction of fools is their folly.
Jewish Publication Society OT Translation with ASV modified to reflect the Byzantine text
Understanding is a fountain of life unto him that hath it; but folly is the chastisement of fools.
Joseph Bryant Rotherham Translation
A well-spring of life, is discretion to its owner, but, the correction of the foolish, is folly.
Concordant Literal Version
Intelligence is a fountain of life to its possessors, And folly is the flogging of the foolish."
Bible in Basic English
Wisdom is a fountain of life to him who has it; but the punishment of the foolish is their foolish behaviour.
Modern King James Version
Understanding is a fountain of life to him who has it, but the instruction of fools is folly.
Literal Translation Version
Prudence is a fountain of life to those who own it, but the teaching of fools is folly.
exeGeses Companion Bible
Comprehension is a fountain of life to its master; and the discipline of fools is folly.
A Conservative Version
Understanding is a well-spring of life to him who has it, but the correction of fools is folly.
World English Bible
Understanding is a fountain of life to one who has it, but the punishment of fools is their folly.
American King James Version
Understanding is a wellspring of life to him that has it: but the instruction of fools is folly.
Updated King James Version
Understanding is a wellspring of life unto him that has it: but the instruction of fools is folly.
Complete Apostle's Bible
Understanding is a fountain of life to its possessors, but the instruction of fools is evil.

Dear oh dear. A couple of quite different meanings there, old boy - which one would you like to use as your reference for this discussion?

-d-

 

[2untru]

We just got a black president, maybe in a few elections we can have one born out of wedlock (baby-steps).


I agree that single parents households are a struggle, but your tone sucks. You sound like a jerk, but since you're a teacher who is responsible for students born of this situation, I'm sure it doesn't affect your attitude towards them.


Your conservative viewpoint on humanity sounds narrow. For every up there is a down. With wedlock, there are kids who lash out because of it while there are others who succeed. I've heard unbelievable hedonistic stories from guys with married parents, all the while thinking I would have gotten my ass whooped if I would have even thought of such things.

Anyone can be a bad or "premature" parent, married or single or a whore. Marriage isn't the answer to proper child growth, it's only a piece of paper with an idea stapled at the top. As a teacher you should see that. Those kids who are well behaved and smart and are trying are not exceptions to the rule, they are just people.

My 11th grade math teacher taught me that a statistic can be made to say anything or build a foundation for any lie. They are good reference points, but are far from the truth. As a student, you should know that.

 

[MisterMajestic]

My mother Pastors a Church and she gets invitations to speak at different church gatherings which include several Young-Adult-conferences...There's always young-single mothers in the crowd....My mother was 18 and a senior in High School when she conceived me with my 26yr old Father(I think that Fool finally got out of high-school when he was 25)...

My mother was so upset that My Father wasnt Man enough to handle his bizness as a father that she said "her" famous line "If his conscious doesnt bother him then neither will I"....Being angry sure didnt help her with pampers, Milk and shelter..Thank God my Grandmother stepped up and helped us out but that was NOT her responsibility....


Years later she REGRETED not suing his Ass for child-support..To this day she will tell young women that it is the "Fathers" responsibility to give financial-support even if he acts like a Low-Down-Dirty-Dog & marriage is not an option...She gives her Testimony and explains to the young women that she allowed her anger for my Father to cloud her better judgement. It is so amazing for me to hear her say that today because she was in a different place during my childhood...

The Government will Garnish a man's wages for child-support faster than he can say "Pussy".....He won't even THINK about having unprotected sex anymore when he looks at that pay-stub every pay period...

 

[jdcnow]

While LostLover incorrectly puts forth that single parents are some how 'less than', let me tell you about one of the best parents I ever met period was one guy, a once-single dad I used to work with at a previous job, who is not much older than I am (early 30s).

He will be the first to tell you that his first choice in women was not his finest hour. But his 3 daughters that resulted from that choice are his heart, and he doesn't need to say that in order to show it. In fact, his youngest daughter (age 4), you will never see him without her sitting on top of his shoulders as they hold hands and sing in unison, "Here we go, down Lollipop Lane". He knows everything there is to know about Barbie. He loves his kids deeply, and it shows. Not only is he a great dad (I wish he were my dad growing up), but he's a real man who takes care of his kids, day in and day out.

He has since fought for and won permenant custody of his 3 daughters and had remarried (a good woman, this time, who has sons of her own). The last I've heard, this Brady Bunch are all living happily ever after.

To put forth the thought - either explicit or implied, intentionally or inadvertantly - that single parents just aren't somehow good enough is downright asinine. It shocks me that a teacher put in charge over children actually thinks this way.

 

[Lostlover]

My mother Pastors a Church and she gets invitations to speak at different church gatherings which include several Young-Adult-conferences...There's always young-single mothers in the crowd....My mother was 18 and a senior in High School when she conceived me with my 26yr old Father(I think that Fool finally got out of high-school when he was 25)...

My mother was so upset that My Father wasnt Man enough to handle his bizness as a father that she said "her" famous line "If his conscious doesnt bother him then neither will I"....Being angry sure didnt help her with pampers, Milk and shelter..Thank God my Grandmother stepped up and helped us out but that was NOT her responsibility....


Years later she REGRETED not suing his Ass for child-support..To this day she will tell young women that it is the "Fathers" responsibility to give financial-support even if he acts like a Low-Down-Dirty-Dog & marriage is not an option...She gives her Testimony and explains to the young women that she allowed her anger for my Father to cloud her better judgement. It is so amazing for me to hear her say that today because she was in a different place during my childhood...

The Government will Garnish a man's wages for child-support faster than he can say "Pussy".....He won't even THINK about having unprotected sex anymore when he looks at that pay-stub every pay period...

Your story is not uncommon. That's the problem. Letting men off from their responsibilities plays right into their hands and encourages this behavior. I like your mother. She should come give a talk at my school. Being pregnant and popping out kids like mommy, is shooting for the stars to a lot of teenage girls where I work at.

Mormons actually encourage this too. I run at the gym with a mormon lady every now and then. And she doesn't work and her husband is a mid-level architect. They have 6 kids. So, they're raising these kids on a shoestring budget. And she thinks it's cute that her kids are wearing hand-me-downs from their older siblings. That's not cute. That's disturbing.

Of course, I don't say anything to her or any of the people having kids out of wedlock. But they just fell a couple of notches in the respect I have for them.

 

[Lostlover]

While LostLover incorrectly puts forth that single parents are some how 'less than', let me tell you about one of the best parents I ever met period was one guy, a once-single dad I used to work with at a previous job, who is not much older than I am (early 30s).

He will be the first to tell you that his first choice in women was not his finest hour. But his 3 daughters that resulted from that choice are his heart, and he doesn't need to say that in order to show it. In fact, his youngest daughter (age 4), you will never see him without her sitting on top of his shoulders as they hold hands and sing in unison, "Here we go, down Lollipop Lane". He knows everything there is to know about Barbie. He loves his kids deeply, and it shows. Not only is he a great dad (I wish he were my dad growing up), but he's a real man who takes care of his kids, day in and day out.

He has since fought for and won permenant custody of his 3 daughters and had remarried (a good woman, this time, who has sons of her own). The last I've heard, this Brady Bunch are all living happily ever after.

To put forth the thought - either explicit or implied, intentionally or inadvertantly - that single parents just aren't somehow good enough is downright asinine. It shocks me that a teacher put in charge over children actually thinks this way.

Everyone has a story. And in every story the person is a parent of the year candidate that defies the odds. And the child turns out to be a Rhodes Scholar. Is this the Lifetime Movie Series?

Damn, this guy you know shames my dad. Your friend has bad luck in women but he loves his daughters. I guess in Northern Texas that makes up for going from woman to woman with three little girls of your own to take care of. (Let me guess too that they all have different mothers or there is more than one mother involved?) My dad just married my mom in college and had kids with her afterwards. They've just been married for almost three decades.

My dad though doesn't need a pat on the back. Nor does he have people giving explanations for carelessness.

A lot of people have disagreed with what I have said. But can we now look at the people experimenting with children's lives? I know no one ones to talk about that.

 

[LilBit]

And she thinks it's cute that her kids are wearing hand-me-downs from their older siblings. That's not cute. That's disturbing.

Wearing hand-me-downs is disturbing? Seriously?

EVERY kid in my neighborhood wore hand-me-downs when I was growing up. We even swapped hand-me-downs among families. It's economically sound and environmentally friendly. And just for the record, I grew up in a working-class neighborhood where all of the kids had two parents who were married. My dad worked two jobs, and my mother was a stay-at-home mom who ran a day care to help support us.

Your elitism and class prejudice are becoming more and more evident with every post you make.