Spanking....

[ibill1]

Please point out where I said there is no difference between someone causing you pain and accidental pain. If you read anything I said you would be able to see I was talking about how pain can teach kids lessons, as it does for every child as they grow up.

Or are you just talking randomly?



Again, where did I say breaking your arm in football practice, or having it broke by your dad being equal? Painful experiences teach us lessons. Your dad "laying into you" would not be valuable at all. And as you say, he never touched any of you boys. Great! Good for you and your brothers for being capable of sympathy and compassion towards something other than yourself that you are able to respect your father when he sits you down to talk about whats wrong. But I can show you many more kids who would laugh at their father as if it was a joke if they sat them down to discuss whats wrong.



yes, yes it is. Because its a sarcastic representation of what others have commented on in the past page.

Its also what JonesHere and ibill1 seem to be arguing about since that the only part they could mistake me saying ' spanking = hurting yourself in sports ect' when in fact it was a mockery of the statement that spanking is violent in comparison to other things, when in fact, as mentioned by ibill1, video games, the news especially, movies, and TV are violent. In fact they are far more violent than spanking is.

Point taken. I still don't believe in striking kids, but I understand your reasoning. If all else fails, I suppose parents have to resort to what they believe will work. You have a point. I have been around kids that I have wondered if my fathers gentleness and intelligence in reaching his sons would have fallen on deaf ears with these kids, especially when the dad hauls off and slaps the kid across the head. What I witness frequently out there flying around is that the kids own the parents far to often than not.

 

[hylas]

just saw "southland tales" and was dazzled by its unbridled lunacy. and yet, after reading the above post by justlove, its only the second most insane thing ive come across this evening.

 

[MercuryJones]

Again, where did I say breaking your arm in football practice, or having it broke by your dad being equal? Painful experiences teach us lessons.

When you say things like "Violence and pain that is equal to spanking is all around us. Best to lock our kids in a bubble of padded goodness and purity."

Violence and pain that is equal may be all around us, but you are gravely mistaken in positing that equality in degree is the same as equality in necessity or value.

You might as well argue that there's no difference between consensual sex and rape.

 

[CumAlong]

When you say things like "Violence and pain that is equal to spanking is all around us. Best to lock our kids in a bubble of padded goodness and purity."

Violence and pain that is equal may be all around us, but you are gravely mistaken in positing that equality in degree is the same as equality in necessity or value.

You might as well argue that there's no difference between consensual sex and rape.

My mistake, next time I will add the "equal and greater" portion, because an hour of news alone has a lot of violence in it...

About the equality of degree, necessity and value, you will notice that before I mentioned punishment needs some key factors to be effective.

Punishment needs to be quick, explained, and fitting in order to be effective.

1. Swift punishment. Not 30 minutes after the fact, not "when we get home", ASAP!

2. Needs to be explained. The child needs to know WHY they are being punished or else no behavior can be corrected, or lesson learned.

3. Punishment needs to be just severe enough to be effective. If a kid refuses to go bed until a tv show is on, it doesn't warrant a month grounding or a spanking. It has to be equal to the offense done by the child.

And last, It needs to be provided equally and evenly to EVERYONE under the same rule. So all brothers and sisters get the same treatment.

Now, in my opinion, a spanking is warranted by few things, one of which comes to mind immediately is physical harm to another. This is probably where spanking is IDEAL because it allows to parent to inflict MINOR discomfort on the child and teach them a lesson that hitting billy was not nice, and it hurt him much more than a spanking feels because he got a bloody nose or something.

Giving kids a taste of their own medicine works wonders.

 

[MercuryJones]

Giving kids a taste of their own medicine works wonders.

How many kids have you raised with your methods?

 

[CumAlong]

How many kids have you raised with your methods?

My brother decided it was a good idea to have a son at the age of 19, and not take care of it or give it rules. Needless to say it turned into a living monster. Knew more colorful words than I thought could exist, and had no qualms about saying them.He was removed from KINDERGARDEN for cursing, attacking children AND the teacher. His dad didn't do SHIT.

I had to babysit him for the majority of the summer when he lived with me and my mom(his grandmother) Since she worked, and my brother and his girlfriend were always working, I would have to watch him during the day. By the end of that summer I would bet my life he wouldn't pull the same stunts he did before around me.

Yea, I spanked my nephew quite a bit, and he deserved everyone single one, and probably more. He knows he couldn't get away with it anymore. My brother would let him get away with anything though, that is of course until he met his new wife, and she instilled the same punishment philosophy I did. She got him in shape again in a matter of weeks.

Besides that, the four criteria I gave aren't "my methods", they are proven methods to work and are taught in psychology and child behavior classes.

 

[MercuryJones]

Sounds like a family with a lot of bad judgment.

What is the proof you claim?

 

[CumAlong]

Sounds like a family with a lot of bad judgment.

What is the proof you claim?

lmao. yup

just yup

 

[MercuryJones]

"they are proven methods to work" is pretty light in the proven department.

 

[CumAlong]

"they are proven methods to work" is pretty light in the proven department.

Here's a good psychology book with a nice section on learning and discipline.

# TITLEsychology: Themes etc (Briefer)
# AUTHOR:Weiten
# EDITION:7th
# COPYRIGHT YEAR:2008
# PUBLISHER:Cengage Learning
# ISBN:9780495100584

If you can't find a copy online, go to a book store and read your heart out.

edit: you can find the 4 criteria clearly listed in here. (beginning chapters if I am not mistaken). Heck, try any reputable source on discipline, it will most likely have something along these lines as to punishment needs to be swift, consistent, deserving, and explained. Also, common sense is pretty much a big indicator. Think about it for more than 5 seconds and you can see the obvious connection.

 

[MercuryJones]

^^ Were you and your brother spanked?

(PS: A book title isn't proof of efficacy of your methods.)

 

[CumAlong]

^^ Were you and your brother spanked?

(PS: A book title isn't proof of efficacy of your methods.)

yes, as stated, me and my brother were spanked (not my oldest brother, there are 3 of us) (he lived with his father, and not in our family) And as stated, it worked extremely efficiently.
Quoted from before:

"I was spanked maybe a few times during my childhood, you can bet I never picked a fight with another kid, or stole shit again for quite a while.

After being spanked with a wooden paddle that has "Attitude Adjuster" written on the side of it, I would always come clean and make amends whenever my parent even so much as hinted towards it hanging on the wall..."



(PS: Education may require some effort, and heavens forbid reading a little bit, don't worry, recent reports by the government have shown little harm in taking initiative to learn a little bit through reading.)

You asked for my source, I provided all necessary information to use it, aside from illegally copying it and posting it online.

 

[hungrybrownbear]

Yes I believe in it, but I've come to realize that most people that had a bit more discipline in their lives as kids, and had parents who were extreme in some fashion or another and have experienced these sorts of hardships become more balanced than the rest of the crowd in the future, because they know how to deal with it.


And yeah sure I hated it, and I still semi-despise my parents for it, but it's made me the person I am today, and I wouldn't have it any other way. You really can tell, who was disciplined as a kid and who wasn't.

 

[MercuryJones]

After being spanked with a wooden paddle that has "Attitude Adjuster" written on the side of it, I would always come clean and make amends whenever my parent even so much as hinted towards it hanging on the wall...

Sounds not very effective if it had to be in repeat use in that way.

You asked for my source, I provided all necessary information to use it, aside from illegally copying it and posting it online.

Actually, I asked for proof. You provided a book title. One would think that with so much interest in parenting some proof of efficacy would be readily available online. There are certainly such studies available on line pointing to increased aggression in children who are spanked, and lower performance in IQ tests. Maybe the opposing studies just aren't as available.

 

[CumAlong]

Sounds not very effective if it had to be in repeat use in that way.



Actually, I asked for proof. You provided a book title. One would think that with so much interest in parenting some proof of efficacy would be readily available online. There are certainly such studies available on line pointing to increased aggression in children who are spanked, and lower performance in IQ tests. Maybe the opposing studies just aren't as available.

I could give you a dozen studies that point to spanking leading to angered adults. In most of those studies I am willing to bet the children weren't spanked, but rather abused / beaten. I can show you a dozen studies showing spanking does not lead to aggression. In the end, no 'study' is every right because those who do the study have a bias, and they will for the most part find that bias. We can go in circles all night.

Instead, this is the point I just don't care anymore. We're going in circles, neither of is right, neither of us is wrong. I've said my piece, you've said yours. now we're bickering over useless bullshit to see whose going to be right when in the end, its going to be impossible to 'prove' one way or the other. Google can fight this battle for a long time for us, but in the long run, we're going to end up with a lot of wasted time, angry words, and useless information.

And an early congratulations to you if you have or do in the future, raise a child to be a well mannered, respectful individual without utilizing spanking. If done properly, it shouldn't be all too hard.

 

[MercuryJones]

I can show you a dozen studies showing spanking does not lead to aggression.

Really? Be my guest.

We're going in circles, neither of is right, neither of us is wrong.

To the contrary, I continue to be right, and you continue to be wrong. I'm sorry to add that your family seems to have quite a burden of poor judgement, based on your description, so the spanking may make sense.

And an early congratulations to you if you have or do in the future, raise a child to be a well mannered, respectful individual without utilizing spanking. If done properly, it shouldn't be all too hard.

Thank you. Already done twice, with outstanding results, and great joy along the way.