Straight acting = Self Loathing?

[DigitalFudge]

This seems like a perfectly fine thread that could use some trolling...

It's been awhile....

Maybe next time...


Here is what I notice. The men who call themselves "Straight Acting" are douche bags and the men who are simply masculine and find themselves gay that arn't douches really don't find the time to label themselves.


At least that is what I see. It does bother me when someone asks for another "Straight acting" guy. Irks the hell out of me actually.


I get we have preferences but that kind of rhetoric is such a devolution of how far we have come.

To me at least.

 

[FanofFiction]

Well put Digital Fudge.

 

[Audio Tech]

I like trucks, and engines, and sports, and mud and dirt, and junkyards, and a lot of stuff a "GUY" might like. I'm not afraid of the rain or getting dirty and greasy, etc. I don't care for chick flicks, shopping for anything besides a pair of Levis, nor am I into any trends or styles whatsoever. I'm also a bit of a slob and I tend to keep my affection out of the public eye and in the bedroom. I also walk and talk just like the average "dude".

I just happen to be attracted to GUYS, with similar interests and behaviors.

Now.... does THAT make me "Straight Acting" if I were to put a profile on a dating site?

Seriously, I'm a bit confused by the whole thing. I just.... AM... ME!

 

[yummylongsword]

The term "straight acting" is so full of self-hate that it's frightening. One of the many aspects that make it so frightening is that the people who use it usually don't realize how much they hate themselves or how much negativity they project onto the more flamboyant gay men.

I suppose it would be one thing to describe yourself as masculine, but to describe yourself as 'acting like someone outside of my own culture/group/biology/etc' is ludacris.

It's sort of like gangstas for example. There are lots of white dudes that go out and try to act and speak like a stereotypical 'black gangsta'. I know lots of white guys that speak with this weird south central/Bronx accent who have never even left New Brunswick. It's obviously stupid for them to act to such extremes. But would it not be even more insane for them to start describing themselves as 'black acting' or 'african-american acting'? They just describe themselves as gangstas.

I love Latinos and the music, culture, and food that go along with them... but I'm not about to run out and start speaking with an accent and call myself 'Latino acting'.

Is there nobody who sees how stupid that would be?

It's just a goddamn term. If I made up a new word, "Adsgwerhwss", and said that I meant straight acting, it doesn't make it any better or worse to use Adsgwerhwss. It's just a jumble of letters, it MEANS the same thing.

When someone says they're "straight acting," they just mean they're "masculine." I'm sorry their terminology frightens you so much.

 

[fetaby]

Perhaps masculine would be a better word to use but, do effeminate guys use the word feminine to describe themselves?

They don't have to say anything. The stereotype says it for them, to the point that even straight men who exhibit typically feminine behaviors or traits are considered gay.

 

[quasar]

straight acting = [STRIKE]self-loathing[/STRIKE] non-fem/queeny

 

[castoono]

As I expect my partner to be a man, and I expect him to like me too. I try to give him what I think that he will love from me. A clean handsome strong man. I push away everything which belong to females (clothes, movements,aso) cause they simply don't turn me on.
Most of the men I like are straight? yes. I don't like effeminates because they remind me to women? yes.
Big deal... I don't think that I act straight.

The problem is that some gays act as my aunt Glenda and try to kick me with that. And I don't know why.

 

[TriBi]

^^ I'll tend to go with Quasar here.

I identify as bisexual and, in case people haven't noticed, I get very antsy at all the 'Bi bashing' threads that seem to abound here. Then again, being a Mod (and "held to a higher standard" and all that) I tend to try and avoid getting involved in those for the most part..

What can I say? I'm a guy. I will look at (ogle) particularly good looking and sexy women. I will also take a very good look at well put together and fit guys. I have made love to women, and men - and had men make love to me - and I have enjoyed all of those experiences.

If there is a 'phrase' that would describe me on gay dating sites (which I have never used) it probably would be "straight acting".

That said - it would be totally inappropriate for several reasons. I love sport, I have been a competitive runner, swimmer and triathlete over many years. I am not in the least bit effeminate - nor am I turned on at all by effeminate guys (all power to them - but they are not for me). I hate shopping, the whole celeb bullshit, everything that is often accepted as 'stereotypically gay'.

If I had to describe myself honestly, on a dating site, the most appropriate phraseology would probably be "not stereotypically gay". It seems to me that the most accepted way of describing this currently would appear to be "straight acting" - which then seems to get all the "steroetypically gay" guys worked up into a frenzy.

So - I don't "act". I am what I am. I have joked many times on this site that I probably ought to "hand in my gay card" - but there is an undertone to that which is basically centred around the fact that I wish the LGBT community would be more accepting - unfortunately that often tends to NOT be the case. Too many concentrate on their own particular initial (especially the 'G' one) and ostracise everyone else.

Sad.

 

[Ninja108]

To put it bluntly...I'm gay, I suck dick and have my bf's dick in me almost every night. And I'm proud of it.

I'm not a self loather because I only like one or two of Madonna songs and I don't like Lady Gaga or Brit Spears at all.
I like to play video games, watch sports such as baseball and basketball and enjoy hiking and being outdoors during the summer more then being in a shopping mall.
And when it comes to tv,crime shows and National Geographic are more likely to be running on the tube vs. the GOlden Girls or Gossip Girls.
Part of the human race is the fact we have the right to enjoy different things. I don't rip on those who do like the things I mentioned as not caring for. And in return, it's not too much to ask that I not be labeled a self-loather because of it.

 

[MMMonsterBoy]

I strongly dislike this term. There is nothing straight acting about a man looking for sex from another man. Masculine is a better term. I notice that people with 'straight acting' seem to think they're better, and seem afraid of being around "girly" gays. From my understanding, it seems to be more about these "straight acting" men being afraid of showing their sexuality. For anyone to actually know they're gay is just...embarrassing

 

[Andrewm]

These topics sure are fun fresh and chock full of new insight not discussed in other threads every other month!

Here's what I think: If it helps you get more dick than I'm all for it. If I was straight I'd label myself as gay acting because women would think I'm sensitive and I'd get every pussy on this planet.

 

[FanofFiction]

I hate how militant "straight acting" guys are on dating sites. "I pretend I'm straight and so should you" attitudes.

 

[pai mei]

She is the afterbirth of Madonna. hehe

Just terrible, terrible souless music.

^^^ this.


i dont understand the love for gaga.

 

[ixthrock]

not everyone who uses the term straight-acting is self-loathing. actually, i DO find a lot of them to be stuck on themselves. but not all. Some of them are terrified of effeminacy, or being percieved as such, or being percieved as gay, or being percieved as gay by a hot straight guy whose dick they'd like to suck - but not all. It's just a term, and like a lot of terms, different people use them in different ways. we expend a lot of hot air by examining what each individual means when he says certain things. and people lie. people lie to themselves. but not all.




just you.

 

[fetaby]

I wish the LGBT community would be more accepting - unfortunately that often tends to NOT be the case.

It seems that a fraction of it is busy distancing themselves from effeminacy. But the community is not beholden to any one type of person, masculine gay men are more than welcome to participate.

There seems to be a divide and all things queer are on one side and masculine gay men on the other. I guess the question would be who steps over first?

 

[Musik2400]

I just thinks its amazing how often people on this site proects their own ideas onto others.

How many in this thread talk about what a "straight-acting" individual means by the word, feels about themself, feells about other gays, etc.

Do you know these people? Are you a part of their life? What gives you the right to judge them indiscriminately based solely on the term they use as "self loathing" or "gay hating".

In fact in my eyes its those who seem to hate "straight-acting" so much that are more likely to be self loathing. If it is so offensive to you, and apparently damages you so much, maybe your the one who needs to sort out issues with your sexuality. Maybe your the ones who aren't comfortable, and seeing people identify themselves as "straight acting" makes you feel inferior. They're not saying straight is better... you are simply reading that meaning from it yourself.

Y'know what that means? Its your problem not theirs.

 

[PolterGUYst]

Just behave in the manner that comes naturally to you. Don't "act," just be.

 

[Nomenclature]

The guys who ARE feminine, into the scene etc have usually had to hide that out of shame. They learned to hate themselves because of it, until they finally came out and SHINED!! They're projecting those feelings onto you, so if you happen to not be into that, they can't comprehend that. They think that you must be naturally feminine, and into the party scene too and are just too ashamed of yourself to admit it.



I'm not the most masculine man on the planet by a long shot, but no one ever really gets a "gay vibe" from me. I think that's what the term "straight-acting" really means: They want someone without that "vibe", for reasons of discretion or for simply being attracted to men who are men. It would certainly explain why so many gay dudes fall in love with their straight friends; they aren't "loathing" anything. . .they just love guys who are guys.

 

[cliffdweller]

The term annoys me, but honestly, so does "masculine."

Mainly b/c I have no idea what that's really supposed to mean. I don't consider myself especially masculine or feminine. I don't think I usually give off a gay "vibe," and people don't generally assume I'm gay, but I don't wear that as a badge of honor and probably won't get along too well with people who do.

I tend to reject all this gender role BS...it's completely hetero-centric, and I have no use for it. I have a penis, therefore I'm a man. Listening to Edith Piaf doesn't make me less of one, and leaving wet towels on the floor doesn't make me more of one.

 

[EwanSF]

I've been described as such on numerous occassions and I fuckin loath the term. I realise I might just be being pedantic (I'm aware that the word acting dosn't neccessarily imply that there's some sort of fecade involved,) but there's just something about it that grates on me.

Plus there's nothing particularly straight about sucking as much dick as I have, mannerisms or no.