Straight friend help - please! :-)

[bobngvl]

Hi everybody. I have a question that I would really appreciate some help with. I know that this is like the millionth thread on this topic, but I've searched those and can't find one with my particular problem. I've read so many of them that I'm pretty sure of the response I'll get, but here goes . . .

I have a friend from work who is jaw-droppingly gorgeous and has one of those winning personalities that makes him everybody's "best friend." He's straight and although he's exactly the type of guy that women throw themselves at, he's only dated one girl in the past year (which is since we met.) And that was for maybe 2-3 weeks. I've always wondered if he might be at least a little gay. We always hit it off and he's known that I am gay since fairly early in our relationship. He's fine with it and has even asked me about what its like to be gay in such a conservative region, etc. (btw he is 21 and I am 36.)

I no longer work there but we've remained friends. I rely on him to get my pot and as a thank you, I smoke him out whenever. Lately he's been coming over a lot and just hanging out or playing his guitar. It's really great because I suppose I've been kind of lonely for a while - even if I hate to admit that. I don't want to fuck up how its going now, but I want to blow the ever-loving bejeezus out of him! (And I can. It's kind of like my specialty.) I briefly and jokingly mentioned something about it while we were high and he rather quickly put his hand up towards me (like "stop") and laughed and said that would be great if I was some hot blond chick but no thanks. So I shut up and we haven't mentioned it since.

But I want him SO damn bad! lol I am glad that he is straight and do not want to "turn him gay" or anything. If I haven't mentioned it yet, he is pretty, from a good family, has high morals and standards, is fun as hell, has an unbelievable body, perfect manners, yadda yadda yadda - everything that would make him a great catch for anyone. But that's not what I after! I want everything else to stay the same - except that he's no longer wasting all that yummy cum on Kleenex. I want nothing in return. I'll even stay dressed and put some straight porn on.

I know for a fact that I am able to have relationships like this. He knows that I currently have one with another friend (but that guy is gay and practically married to his bf.) How can I convince him that letting a guy suck his dick does NOT make him gay? Remember, I want this guy to live the classic American dream with a (very happy!) female wife and 2.5 kids - that is what he is destined for. I am afraid that things will change if I let him know how badly I want his cock. And cum. But I can't take him being in my home for hours, just the two of us hanging out, and then him going home and certainly jacking off. That would make two of us jacking it all alone. And his Grade-A quality cum going into the wastebasket. Please help me! Thanks in advance.

 

[stevexxx]

Hi everybody. I have a question that I would really appreciate some help with. I know that this is like the millionth thread on this topic, but I've searched those and can't find one with my particular problem. I've read so many of them that I'm pretty sure of the response I'll get, but here goes . . .

I have a friend from work who is jaw-droppingly gorgeous and has one of those winning personalities that makes him everybody's "best friend." He's straight and although he's exactly the type of guy that women throw themselves at, he's only dated one girl in the past year (which is since we met.) And that was for maybe 2-3 weeks. I've always wondered if he might be at least a little gay. We always hit it off and he's known that I am gay since fairly early in our relationship. He's fine with it and has even asked me about what its like to be gay in such a conservative region, etc. (btw he is 21 and I am 36.)

I no longer work there but we've remained friends. I rely on him to get my pot and as a thank you, I smoke him out whenever. Lately he's been coming over a lot and just hanging out or playing his guitar. It's really great because I suppose I've been kind of lonely for a while - even if I hate to admit that. I don't want to fuck up how its going now, but I want to blow the ever-loving bejeezus out of him! (And I can. It's kind of like my specialty.) I briefly and jokingly mentioned something about it while we were high and he rather quickly put his hand up towards me (like "stop") and laughed and said that would be great if I was some hot blond chick but no thanks. So I shut up and we haven't mentioned it since.

But I want him SO damn bad! lol I am glad that he is straight and do not want to "turn him gay" or anything. If I haven't mentioned it yet, he is pretty, from a good family, has high morals and standards, is fun as hell, has an unbelievable body, perfect manners, yadda yadda yadda - everything that would make him a great catch for anyone. But that's not what I after! I want everything else to stay the same - except that he's no longer wasting all that yummy cum on Kleenex. I want nothing in return. I'll even stay dressed and put some straight porn on.

I know for a fact that I am able to have relationships like this. He knows that I currently have one with another friend (but that guy is gay and practically married to his bf.) How can I convince him that letting a guy suck his dick does NOT make him gay? Remember, I want this guy to live the classic American dream with a (very happy!) female wife and 2.5 kids - that is what he is destined for. I am afraid that things will change if I let him know how badly I want his cock. And cum. But I can't take him being in my home for hours, just the two of us hanging out, and then him going home and certainly jacking off. That would make two of us jacking it all alone. And his Grade-A quality cum going into the wastebasket. Please help me! Thanks in advance.

man, your old enough to know what to do. if he said he doesn't want a blow job from you if he was high, he sure as hell doesn't want a blowjob from you at all. and don't think of getting him drunk and asking him then because that will be kind of sad and desperate of you. it's obvious he doesnt want anything sexual from you so just leave it alone.

 

[anchihiro]

What steve said ^^^^^

Keep it as a fantasy, don't over step this boundary. He's had ample opportunity but chose not to, that tells you all you need to know.

 

[62624rd]

leave him alone , he only wants to be a friend. If you pursuit him it will turn out bad.

 

[gingentleman]

You need to stop seeing so much of him and cool it on the desire-thingy!

 

[bobngvl]

Thank you all very much for the advice. It is, unfortunately, what I expected to hear. And I didn't mention it but on several occasions I have been confused about whether or nOt he is trying to send me a signal. Maybe he is but I know it's more likely that what I think I perceive is simply my overly optimistic imagination playing tricks on me. And there are more examples from today and even what could be progress but after reading through your comments and thinking about it I see that it's just wishful thinking. So I am ending the pursuit and concentrating on the friendship. Thanks again. That's what I needed to hear. (Damnit! Lol)

 

[GiacomoPisani]

you are gonna have to break the illusion that society programed him to believe,that having sex with another man is feminizing but with a woman it makes him a real man.you are gonna have to convince him that having sex with someone with feminine body is an androgynous instinct, real masculine men do not drink female hormones nor enjoy feeling body parts that are not masculine coz that would make them feel like pseudo-hermaphrodites and that's why you have big cojone to oppose society,otherwise you would end up practicing lesbianism.The only masculinizing sexual interaction can only occur between two sexually equivalent partners,not sexually inverted ones.these are the thing you have to begin telling him.it takes time to break their artificial masculinity and make them see their huge androgyny,if you want more advice, then send me a private massage coz these things take a lot of psychology.

 

[bobngvl]

*****************
**** UPDATE******
*****************

I'm sorry for having an update to this story. I thought it was over as well!

Apparently I disregarded the popular opinion that I should just drop my fantasy. I thought that I had. But no! Last week I brought it up again. Save your comments on the fact that I did that, please - I know what a stupid f@#$ing jackass I am. But thankfully he didn't get mad at all. If he wanted to, this kid could easily put me in the hospital (I love his nicely sculpted arms!) He did say that he appreciated the offer but would probably never take me up on it. No harm done.

Later on while we were talking about him playing his guitar I took a moment to further explain myself. Just as he is a talented guitarist and enjoys sharing that gift with his friends, I have a different special talent which I enjoy sharing with (the right) friends. He knew what I meant as I hope that you do. (If not, I meant that my talent is giving blowjobs - duh! lol) I mentioned how I am always commended for my performance. Which led me to discuss my thoughts on how I consider a good dick draining to be a work of art. (Which I do believe, btw.) And if that is true then he could call me Michaelangelo. I knew that by comparing a bj to art would help his artistic mind understand my point of view. It did.

As we kept talking about other stuff, HE (not me) brought it back up! And said "you never know" with the cutest shiteatin' grin I have ever seen. I was reminded that he is str8 then he says that its hard for a guy to turn down a good blow. And that he might reconsider. With my heart pounding I nonchalantly said cool, just let me know whenever. That was about a week ago and we have hung out several times since then. He hasn't mentioned anything and so I haven't either. Even though I can't think of anything besides his equipment which will soon be in my mouth - hopefully!

So now what guys? Is it ok for me say something about it? Can I mention how the idea of blowing him is no longer just something to help out a friend if he ever wanted/needed it - now I really want to? And this post is already too long so I'll wait to tell you about the fact that I also have realized that I love him. Not romantic love per se, its more like a brotherly thing, but it is real love not just infatuation. I'll tell that story later. But please give me some advice on what I should do next.

Thanks!

 

[ValleyBoy18]

Wow, so you actually went through with it, I was not expecting that.

Hmm, at this point...if he said he'll think about it then you have no choice but to just wait to see what happens.

If you ask him again, it will honestly make you look incredibly desperate. I know how you feel though; I too have had strong feelings for straight male friends.

 

[stevexxx]

*****************
**** UPDATE******
*****************

I'm sorry for having an update to this story. I thought it was over as well!

Apparently I disregarded the popular opinion that I should just drop my fantasy. I thought that I had. But no! Last week I brought it up again. Save your comments on the fact that I did that, please - I know what a stupid f@# jackass I am. But thankfully he didn't get mad at all. If he wanted to, this kid could easily put me in the hospital (I love his nicely sculpted arms!) He did say that he appreciated the offer but would probably never take me up on it. No harm done.

Later on while we were talking about him playing his guitar I took a moment to further explain myself. Just as he is a talented guitarist and enjoys sharing that gift with his friends, I have a different special talent which I enjoy sharing with (the right) friends. He knew what I meant as I hope that you do. (If not, I meant that my talent is giving blowjobs - duh! lol) I mentioned how I am always commended for my performance. Which led me to discuss my thoughts on how I consider a good dick draining to be a work of art. (Which I do believe, btw.) And if that is true then he could call me Michaelangelo. I knew that by comparing a bj to art would help his artistic mind understand my point of view. It did.

As we kept talking about other stuff, HE (not me) brought it back up! And said "you never know" with the cutest shiteatin' grin I have ever seen. I was reminded that he is str8 then he says that its hard for a guy to turn down a good blow. And that he might reconsider. With my heart pounding I nonchalantly said cool, just let me know whenever. That was about a week ago and we have hung out several times since then. He hasn't mentioned anything and so I haven't either. Even though I can't think of anything besides his equipment which will soon be in my mouth - hopefully!

So now what guys? Is it ok for me say something about it? Can I mention how the idea of blowing him is no longer just something to help out a friend if he ever wanted/needed it - now I really want to? And this post is already too long so I'll wait to tell you about the fact that I also have realized that I love him. Not romantic love per se, its more like a brotherly thing, but it is real love not just infatuation. I'll tell that story later. But please give me some advice on what I should do next.

Thanks!

You are one desperate human being. It's quite obvious that he values both of your's friendship and you are making him feel uncomfortable about wanting you to blows him and asking him to. He most likely feels like if he does not allow you to blow him the friendship will be endanger. friendships and sexual relations are two different things, keep them separate.

 

[anchihiro]

What steve said, again.

I just get the feeling that whatever urges he ever had you're trying to magnify them for him. He's 15 years younger than you and i bet he feels a bit of pressure.

If this actually happens im guessing your friendship is going to be very awkward in the aftermath. Eventually he will disappear.

 

[shaneripley81]

I can sorta relate...I have straight friends who I'd love to have my way with, but I'd never pursue it because I value their friendship most and pressuring them to consider letting me blow them is just desperate.

My advice to you...let it go. You know that your friend has at least given it some thought of you blowing him and has declared to you "you never know." Just concentrate on being just friends, and who knows, maybe someday he'll seriously want that blowjob (or more).

 

[seven2go]

I was reminded that he is str8 then he says that its hard for a guy to turn down a good blow. And that he might reconsider.~~~~~~~~But please give me some advice on what I should do next.

Keep your mouth shut now.......unless your buddy changes his mind and wants to stick his dick into it.......

 

[On The Edge]

My advice...never bring that topic back....if u want a friendship...he totally gets what u want....& if he feels the urge will surely take u up on it....so rather let it be...everyone has they limits when been asked something...but interesting story!

 

[quasar]

You've made the first move, you've made the offer, explained the offer.

If he wants to take you up on the offer, he will. If he doesn't want to, he won't. Simple as.

If you push it too much, you'll lose his friendship.

Better to break this fantasy now than to waste time, and potentially miss out on some other decent guys elsewhere.

 

[sweetcar]

Kinda funny but I'm in a 'somewhat' similar situation. There's a bit of information I need to tell you before I start talking about the 'situation'. I have a boy friend and, at least for now, he's living with me. We have a mutual friend that we've both known for years, my b-f known him since grade school. The three of us have been really close friends for a long, long time. Now, when this friend and my boy friend were about 12 or so, they experimented sexually together. I can tell you for certain, neither one is totally str8 or totally gay (guess they're both bi).

Ok, our mutual friend spent the last 2 weekends with us. Nothing sexual actually happened but but our 'guest' pretty much knows what goes on between my b-f and I (though we've never DIRECTLY discussed it). We gave him a few signals and got pretty comfortable around him. Here's some:
My boyfriend showed his ass-crack when bending down cleaning up some spilt juice. Our friend mentioned it and we got into the topic of going 'commando' and wearing underwear (our friend told us he doesn't wear undies anymore).

My b-f walked around in his underwear as it got near bed time. We were all sitting around the table drinking and my b-f pretty much had is ass all the way out and I could tell our guest was getting turned-on. He got a strange look in his eyes and started touching his dick....

Our guest was supposed to sleep in my room on a mat nest to my bed. My boy friend went to be kinda early (he sleeps downstairs) and I told our friend we could go up to my room and hang out some more, play guitar and listen to music. He's a very talent guitar player and plays in a band. So we went up, set-up his bed and started talking/playing guitar. Once we got a little settled, I went ahead and took off my shoes, socks and pants and just hung around in my boxers (which were loose had had a gap in front that's never completly closed ).
He just smiled broadly. I never really directly faced him with the open front unless I was passing by or walking to the bathroom. I got on my bed and covered with a sheet. I'm sure he got a glimpse, the gap was pretty wide and my dick was 'almost' peaking out! We hung out like that for a while and then went to bed. I did take my dick out every now and then during the nite, and he got up a couple of times to pee. His pants were open in front so he could be comfortable. Since he was freeballing, he puts his hand over the front as he walked by.

Pretty much what we did last 2 weekends. It was GREAT! Like I said, nothing happened like that, but at least we made it pretty plain something 'could' happen if he was interested.

Now, we NEVER pushed him! He's just TOO good a friend to Overstep his Boundries as some have said. There could be a reason why he's never wanted to do anything with ME...Here's an example from my point of view...I have another good friend I've also known for years. He's very gay and makes no pretenses about it. Now, though I'm gay myself, I never did anything with him and never will. He just plain does NOT turn me on!! In fact the idea of even touching him grosses me out.

 

[AlmondMilk]

You're spending time with each other, so enjoy it. You WILL sound desperate if you bring it up again.

 

[texan_slant]

The ball is in HIS court. You've said your peace, now let it go.

 

[bobngvl]

Wow! I didn't expect as much response (although I appreciate it more than you know) so I haven't checked back here in a while. I read through the new thoughts last night after my dude left but waited until I had a clear head to reply.

I do understand the use of the word "desperate" but do not like to read it applied to me. I am attractive, intelligent, financially sound, etc. <-- these are qualities which I do not associate with desperation. I will admit that I desperately want this guy's business in my mouth, but that's really just another way of using the word. A way which, to me a least, does not carry the stigma which I feel some commenters intend. There - I said it.

I also do not feel that I am making him uncomfortable, nor am I applying pressure. Yes, I do sometimes invite him over, but other times he calls me to see if I am busy because he would like to stop by. If I was uncomfortable around someone then I would just avoid that person/situation, not come by 4-5 times a week. I understand how the situation could make one uneasy, but it apparently does not phase him. Thank God!

Additionally, he does not know how badly I want his cock. I have maintained around him a sense that this is a purely altruistic offer since he doesn't date much. That I will blow him if/when he really wants it - without his having to go out, wine-n-dine some anonymous girl, and all of the other crap that goes along with that! And as a friend of his with "other" tastes, the thought of blowing him does not gross me out as it would his str8 friends. Furthermore, and I haven't mentioned this yet either but I hope he would be on-board, such an intimate act COULD bring friends closer together (emotionally - not just physically! lol)

Yes, I have brought it up again. Sorry guys. I did at least wait until I had seen him a few more times where nothing sexual was even hinted at. Two points about that fact: (1) it shows that I DO in fact have SOME sense of self control & (2) hopefully, to him, it partially conceals my extreme desires. My desperation if you will. Last night was when I mentioned it and I feel it went well. His reaction this time was more "Yes, not right now, but soon." And again, I don't just say gimme your dick - I casually steer our conversations that way or I react to something on tv and then apply it to our situation. I won't say I'm the smoothest talker (he owns that title) but I am pretty damn good!

Saying that reminds me of the age difference. I do have vastly more life experience than he does but our close friendship illustrates that age is not something either of us cares much about. In our friendship we acknowledge the age difference but do not base anything upon it. He's very mature and I suppose I am rather immature. We balance each other out - I help stabilize him and he helps me stay young. Oh yeah, and I look young too. Even at 36 (2 months from 37) I still get carded for even cigarettes. Flattering? Yes. Annoying? Yes. Funny? Oh Hell yes! lol

When he left last night we made plans to meet for lunch on Friday. He said "See ya then . . . unless I see you sooner." And with that statement, he flashed his evil grin and looked me directly in the eyes - as if to say 'me and my beautiful dick will be back tomorrow for you.' Wishful thinking? Is Sweetcar telling me to wear loose, gapping boxers? (Loved your story btw, and I think I got the real meaning! Thanks.) Can I bring it up again to ask if he's at all uncomfortable?

Still need advice!

 

[stevexxx]

Wow! I didn't expect as much response (although I appreciate it more than you know) so I haven't checked back here in a while. I read through the new thoughts last night after my dude left but waited until I had a clear head to reply.

I do understand the use of the word "desperate" but do not like to read it applied to me. I am attractive, intelligent, financially sound, etc. <-- these are qualities which I do not associate with desperation. I will admit that I desperately want this guy's business in my mouth, but that's really just another way of using the word. A way which, to me a least, does not carry the stigma which I feel some commenters intend. There - I said it.

I also do not feel that I am making him uncomfortable, nor am I applying pressure. Yes, I do sometimes invite him over, but other times he calls me to see if I am busy because he would like to stop by. If I was uncomfortable around someone then I would just avoid that person/situation, not come by 4-5 times a week. I understand how the situation could make one uneasy, but it apparently does not phase him. Thank God!

Additionally, he does not know how badly I want his cock. I have maintained around him a sense that this is a purely altruistic offer since he doesn't date much. That I will blow him if/when he really wants it - without his having to go out, wine-n-dine some anonymous girl, and all of the other crap that goes along with that! And as a friend of his with "other" tastes, the thought of blowing him does not gross me out as it would his str8 friends. Furthermore, and I haven't mentioned this yet either but I hope he would be on-board, such an intimate act COULD bring friends closer together (emotionally - not just physically! lol)

Yes, I have brought it up again. Sorry guys. I did at least wait until I had seen him a few more times where nothing sexual was even hinted at. Two points about that fact: (1) it shows that I DO in fact have SOME sense of self control & (2) hopefully, to him, it partially conceals my extreme desires. My desperation if you will. Last night was when I mentioned it and I feel it went well. His reaction this time was more "Yes, not right now, but soon." And again, I don't just say gimme your dick - I casually steer our conversations that way or I react to something on tv and then apply it to our situation. I won't say I'm the smoothest talker (he owns that title) but I am pretty damn good!

Saying that reminds me of the age difference. I do have vastly more life experience than he does but our close friendship illustrates that age is not something either of us cares much about. In our friendship we acknowledge the age difference but do not base anything upon it. He's very mature and I suppose I am rather immature. We balance each other out - I help stabilize him and he helps me stay young. Oh yeah, and I look young too. Even at 36 (2 months from 37) I still get carded for even cigarettes. Flattering? Yes. Annoying? Yes. Funny? Oh Hell yes! lol

When he left last night we made plans to meet for lunch on Friday. He said "See ya then . . . unless I see you sooner." And with that statement, he flashed his evil grin and looked me directly in the eyes - as if to say 'me and my beautiful dick will be back tomorrow for you.' Wishful thinking? Is Sweetcar telling me to wear loose, gapping boxers? (Loved your story btw, and I think I got the real meaning! Thanks.) Can I bring it up again to ask if he's at all uncomfortable?

Still need advice!

you are not desperate??? haha please. you are 37 not getting any younger, 3 years from the big 40. you may be financially sound, attractive, and intelligent, but you are getting older old man. sooner than later you will be fat, old, and more wrinkled than a raisin in the sun. You are like a male version of a cougar going after a younger guy. You say you may have so called "good qualities" but you haven't found a gay dude yet. if he said no the first time, no the second time, an indifference response the third time, he does not want his dick sucked by some dude. i mean you asked him three times and he said naaa. lol i bet the third time he must have been high as hell because he kinda said "he would consider it". if he was sober and thinking clearly he would say nope not for me. You should go try to find a sexual relationship with a gay dude. man seriously, straight are for straight and gay is for gay. it's like a lesbian trying to hit on a gay dude, it's not going to happen. you very desperate old man, just leave the good friendship you have right now, go do your sexual thing with some gay dude.