Straight guys acting gay around you

[Blueboy369]

The next time you talk to him say "Dude I need your help with a decision I'm trying to make, Will you have sex with me so I can figure out if I'm straight or Bi-sexual?, I can ask someone else but I trust you." See what he says and you can always laugh it off.

 

[spencer]

spencer: haha....so many different ideas. Some say he's straight, some say he's gay, and you think he's just fucking with me? That may well be true and I understand what your saying; play straight or don't do it all. But how do you suggest calling his bluff? By playing gay chicken? Or I could easily keep confident about my sexuality and call him a faggot for touching me. And if he knows why doesn't he just ask me if I'm gay?

Of course he's fucking with you. Even if he's gay, he's fucking with you. The question is why. Is he doing it cause he likes you secretly? Maybe. I do think however he's fucking with you because you're timid in your reactions and it's a challenge to get you to admit it to him.

The reason why he's not asking you is because he's straight and would rather just mess with you than talk openly about gay topics, that's not manly.

Definately respond to him with the same corresponding level (or slightly increased intensity) and see how much further he goes. If he's gonna hug you, hug back completely jokingly but grab his ass and say something like wow, you must work out.

I personally wouldn't drop the fag bomb, but I would definately call him out on his advances and say, don't you have girls you want to make passes at, and I'm beginning to wonder about you, etc.

Just whatever you do, don't be timid. You're acting way to afraid that he's gonna find out some deep dark secret and you're letting him.

IMO

 

[sdmister4]

^i like you spencer you know your shit

 

[slnattak]

Even gay guys will tease me like that though.... why are you differentiating them just because they're straight?

By doing so, even though I know what you mean, but by DOING so- you indirectly assume that the gay guys you do meet are somehow naturally compatible (which is of course false) so- you are unable to let a gay man pleasantly surprise you.

I mean like what I'm saying is, you're saying the problem is they are teasing you like this, and they are straight. But they could very well just as easily sexually tease you and play off on your timidity if they were gay. (probably even more so) You're kinda indirectly assuming, everything would work out if they were just gay themselves.

So by your refusal to face reality, and not come out fully -- you hurt both your relationships with straight guys AND gay guys all in one sweeping blow. Actually you distance yourself from basic humanity is what you do lol.

 

[spencer]

^i like you spencer you know your shit

Thanks, I like you too

I like your location to boot!

 

[bankside]

next time he does it, look him straight in the eye...pause..and say with the biggest horniest smile on your face "don't start what you aren't willing to finish." then see what he starts.

 

[framacias]

ah just let nature take its course.
within time it will come out...
erm..or him...lol

 

[Caaake]

next time he does it, look him straight in the eye...pause..and say with the biggest horniest smile on your face "don't start what you aren't willing to finish." then see what he starts.

good one, man. that'd be hot too

 

[sdmister4]

Thanks, I like you too

I like your location to boot!

well send me a pm sometime

and soneric, in regards to your roommate, you may want to tell him that you're gay just as a friend, i decided to tell my planned roommate for next year because i felt guilty keeping it a secret from him as a friend. my roommate said it actually makes him feel even more comfortable around me; since i trust him with my biggest secret, he can trust me too. my 2 cents, it may not apply but i hope it helps--also dont feel too guilty if you dont decide to tell him, my roommate also said that it would have been fine had i not said anything heh..

 

[Lewis1]

OMG Some of these JUB divas are so cut & dry. Human sexuality is complex and has many shades of grey.

(opinion) that tell em your gay stuff barely works.
sometimes ppul would rather go with the flow than have someone blurt out im gay
and I know the "if they are really your friend than it shouldnt matter" blah blah blah
somewhere somehow those 2 simple words (I'm Gay) will change the dynamics of a friendship on some level. So, if those 2 words will change your platonic friendship with this guy and you do not want it to change, then I'd say hush up & let his & your actions do the talking (whatever that may be).

Some of you guys act like if a guy is not stiff as a robot around another guy then that tottally means hes ready to do blowjobs (slight hyberole here).

Women have their touchy/feely bonding & so do men. But, the str8 ones usually do not want their bonding to be translated in to "i want to fuck you" so most just avoid it
but they still feel the need to be close with their male friends as well

so like some others have said i think you should continue this lil game you guys have goin but definetly "get over him" & move on (in the bf sense) untill you have rock solid proof otherwise

if you would like him to open up a bit more i find it good to talk about sex from a straight guys perspective

say you saw this hot girl with a nice ass or something this type of stuff opens the floodgates

good luck

 

[Lewis1]

i want some freakin updates

 

[ourgaysite]

A lot of my friends back in high school used to act gay at times. I am not sure if it was cause they were bi-curious or it was just the thing to do. I am glad I never took it as a sign they might be gay and come out to them. They were all straight and homophobic.

How did I react? I just took it as fun and games to blend in. In the back of my mind I reminded myself that this does not mean they are gay.

 

[Lewis1]

A lot of my friends back in high school used to act gay at times. I am not sure if it was cause they were bi-curious or it was just the thing to do. I am glad I never took it as a sign they might be gay and come out to them. They were all straight and homophobic.

How did I react? I just took it as fun and games to blend in. In the back of my mind I reminded myself that this does not mean they are gay.

ohh phooey

 

[Caaake]

right. It doesn't mean they're gay but it doesn't mean they're straight either.. Just means how they think of or behave in same-sex sexual interaction might be different. I found in a personal situation with some guys I know, they excuse the same-sex flirtation and touching as "having fun" so they say it's okay cuz its not gay. Doesn't make much sense, but as long as they act gay I don't care how they talk about it, as long as they're playing with eachother.. mmm

 

[soneric2003]

Hey, sorry for my long absence...especially to Lewis1 who seems interested in my thread haha thanks! School's been pretty hectic and since I procrastinate like a typical college student, I'm constantly busy trying to catch up.

There's is a slight chance he's bi...but I would say he's straight until proven otherwise. He's slept with 5-10 girls which is a good amount isn't it? And that's one of the many reasons why I'm assuming he's straight. I'm not differentiating him as straight from gay because I think only straight guys tease me. Just the way he acts about girls makes him seem very straight. Or perhaps my gaydar isn't up to par with everyone elses...I can't tell a guy is gay unless he's flamboyant.

Haha and I'm not going to ask him for sex or come on strong to him..I think he would freak out if I did. I'll keep it subtle.

Bi guy: Been thinking about your answers and I admit that you've got it pretty much down. I hate to admit it but I have some feelings for him...as much as I don't want to and as wrong as it may feel to me. And i know i need to come out to him at some point if I want to continue being friends. Right now I'm planning to do it by the end of school (mid june) so in case it gets awkward between us, I wont have to face him in the house.

There were times I wanted to just tell him though; I just couldn't get my mouth to function. He's been asking me more frequently about my relationships, who I like, who I should go out with, and to try finding some girls. I've been getting tired of giving him the same false answers. It feels like it would be easier to just tell him but I think I'll wait till June when I'm not stressing out about school.

So between all the touching and hanging out I guess I do have some feelings for him...but I'll get over it. I've done it once before and I can do it again. And besides, I prefer being his friend over anything romantic...I couldn't imagine us dating. At times I'm not sure if I really do like him or if I'm physically just attracted to him though.

Update on how he's doing: He's been dating a foreign student lately and it seems like he wants to get in her pants. Think she has a hot body and because she's the conservative type, I think he's enjoying the challenge.

I've hung out with them a lot and a weird thing happens to me when I do; I'm not specifically jealous or anything but I feel really sick and disgusted with myself when I see him flirting with her. Kind of like, "How could I like a guy who's obviously straight and into this girl?"

Also, funny thing happened. He almost caught me jacking off...he knocked and came into my room but I was able to cover up my hard-on with the elastic from my pajama pants and shirt before he saw. Starts talking about what we were going to do for the night and starts hugging me from behind, puts his head next to mine and rubbing me. His hand was a few inches from my dick...fuck! haha pretty close.

This whole thing is sexually frustrating...I need to find a genuine gay guy to get this out of my system.

 

[evanrick]

I think he is curious about being gay but doesnt want to be gay or isnt gay. He probably just wants to know "what its like" to be with another guy. I think he is signaling you that he is comfortable with you and wants you to be his first "experience".

 

[ManAlive]

This is an interesting situation. It does sound like he is very touchy, even for normal straight guy standards. However, I would say that you have to assume he is striaght, dont take his playfullness seriously, because that is just you wanting something to be there that isnt, and concentrate on finding someone who could actually reciprocate you feelings. When I told my best friend, he took it alright to begin with, but it went quickly down hill from there, which in the end was probably the best thing that could have happened, as I was so hung up on him I wasnt living my life.

Hope that helps somewhat.

 

[soneric2003]

Since the last time I posted things have been pretty much the same...the usual touchy interaction between me and him. I've noticed that he's been blatantly flirting with me more though...and not necessarily in a good way. Coming to me naked in a towel for no good reason, telling me how I secretly have a crush on him and that I'm enjoying all his advances, which would be a good thing to most gay guys. But, deep down inside I feel like he's pretty much straight (and I will assume that until he shows otherwise) and mocking me. Like he knows I'm gay and that I like him ,and he's taking full advantage of it. It frustrates me at times.

I think the fact that he's dating this girl has something to do with it. Not because I'm jealous but because if he's into only girls and trying to get in her pants then why does he need to constantly flirt and bother me?

I may be overreacting to all of this. And my feelings for him may be getting the best of me. Liking your straight friends sucks....I thought I would be able to stop myself from doing so, but I was wrong. I'm going to stop trying to find evidence that he's secretly gay or interested in men, and remind myself that he's just a straight friend.

ManAlive: Just hope he accepts me when I tell him I'm gay. School ends in three weeks so it'll be sometime soon. I don't want to loose him as a friend though...can't you eventually just get over it? Or do relationships with straight friends you like tend to not end in a good way?

Thanks everyone for the support

 

[LarsVenice]

I used to wrestle with the cutest guy in my swim class when I was at UT Austin. I'm pretty sure he was completely straight, but he did like to do the butt slap with a towel in the lockerroom (not with me, though). We would make dates to wrestle on alternate Saturdays, and I think the close contact helped form a tight Platonic relationship. Guys like to have physical contact with other guys - it's only society that has a problem with it, although it does not have a problem with women showing affection with each other. I would often have lunch or dinner with my wrestling partner after wrestling, and we would stare deeply into each other's eyes, which was also part of the affection that we showed for each other. I was never erotically aroused during wrestling (the wrestling took way too much effort), but my roommate at the time could not understand how I could wrestle with such a beautiful guy and not get aroused. For me, I didn't see my friend as a sexual object - just a friend that I felt very close to.

Now, if you want to have further physical contact with your roommate, I suggest that you challenge him to a wrestling match at the gym. This will allow you extensive physical contact in a non-sexual setting. There is even a hold called the "crotch hold", which allows you to grab his crotch.

 

[ManAlive]

Its definitely possible that he is being extra flirty and stuff with you because 1) he has guessed that you are gay, 2) wants you to come out and tell him, and 3) it makes him feel more comfortable around you, sort of like his way of dealing with the fact you are gay - not perfect, but much better that way than getting aggressive/ losing interest etc. Of course, he may just be completely oblivios.

Liking straight friends definitely does suck! I think it would be hard to just "get over him". It sounds like you are in pretty deep emotionally, and with you still seeing him all the time (you were living together if I remember rightly??) it will only get worse. I dont like to refer to my situation all the time (its not what will happen to everyone) but I was best friends with the guy that I told for four years or so before I told him about me, and 5 months after he essentially "ditched" me, I am still not over him.

Your plan to stop looking for evidence that he is gay is definitely a good idea (I did that, a lot). I know you dont want to lose him as a friend, again neither did I, but if he does take you telling him somewhat badly, then it may be best to just move on and find friends that love you regardless of sexuality. Of course it may not come to that. There is no reason he shouldnt be completely unperturbed by it.

In any case, I do hope that once you tell him, things will be fine. Be careful that he doesnt just pretend you never said it to him, or tries to bargain with you (my friend said he wouldnt talk about girls if I didnt talk about guys - hence the going down hill thing). However, I rekon you could be in a much better situation than I was (I have to stop referring to my situation ).

I also like skittles little speech, perhaps you could try that! Hope all goes well!