I love this because I couldn't agree more...it is so true and is not brought up enough...especially the whole victimizing ordeal
It depends on where you want to go and who you are with your straight friend. My best friend David (not his real name) is straight. He was a virgin, and I had sex with many girls. But, he was the one I really wanted. So, when the opportunity arose, we were really drunk, I gave him head. It was the first gay sexual experience for both of us. After that night, nothing was ever the same. We used to do a lot of activities together, that we both really enjoyed. We had really liked each other, a lot. That night changed everything. I became his private cock sucker; no longer really a best friend. It was one sided, but I thought that this was the way to keep him. We later went our separate ways, to two different colleges, but sent emails back and forth. I missed this guy more than most of you could imagine. We did get together for the holidays after the first six months apart.
I met some of his college buddies. It was great to see him again and be with him for those couple of weeks. After he went back to school, one of his college buddies who was staying in town a few more more days, called and asked if I wanted to go out for a drink and pick up some chicks. I was like, "sure!" This guy lived very close to where I lived with my parents. So we go out. After several drinks, we are outside and he pulls his cock out to piss. But instead of pissing, he has an enormous hard on. He standing there, looking at me with his hard cock, so I just look away, like whats this guys problem? Then he says, "Come on, suck it, David told be all about you." I was speechless.
I turned away again and said I did not know what he was talking about. My head was spinning. "Oh my God, my boyfriend (what I thought David was) was an asshole telling God knows how many people that I am a cock sucker. This could ruin my reputation/life. And this asshole standing next to me with his hard on lives two minutes away from my front door!"
2 and a half years of the best friendship I have ever had, and about 9 months of being a personal cock sucker later...it was over. The emotional lameness of this all caused a tidal wave of bad things. I felt like shit about myself, I lost my job, I lost my car and I failed out of college. I have gotten over this, but it has taken a few years to get back to normal.
During this time, David and I did get together a couple of times, always awkward, me feeling way compromised.
Since then, I have had a few straight friends, some subtly, others very blatantly, let me know that they want me to suck their cock. I did do one, but, I knew that I was not that into him. However, I had another friend, very much like my first that I had deep feelings for. I did not suck his cock. I think that sort of pissed him off. But, I dont want it like that. I would rather have nothing.
I am not friends with any of the straight guys that I sucked. Not one. I am not friends with my second best friend who I did not suck either, although he wanted me too. I am friends with my other straight friends that I did not suck and that did not want me to suck them. They actually like me for me! Wow, should it take this long to figure this out? Trust me, stay with gay guys. They will like you for who you really are; unless you have really low self esteem or are old, then go for it, you have already lost most things of value anyway.