That incident revealed to me that today's young gay men have a incredibly different perspective on what being gay means to them. One large reason may be because the way that gays are perceived nowadays is so different than when I was growing up into manhood. I even told JH about this realization and commented that I would someday like to be able to be myself - a gay father, professional academic, happily married without living in a disguised
So I wrote to him today (via Facebook) and wonder if he'll even reply and what he'll say.
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Dear JH
We met in Honolulu a few years ago when you and I stayed at a hostel in Waikiki Beach there. Sorry - that's not my real photo in my Facebook profile. So I won't be friending you here. I just thought of you recently when I happened to come across some old notes, and decided to look you up on Facebook.
As you probably won't recall, it surprised me to discover (thanks to your being forthcoming) that you are (were) gay.
So am I - but also happily married to a woman for over 30 years. Your life (what little of it I know) was a very different experience from the time when I grew up.
I know you may not want to be 'reminded' of being gay or of that time in HNL. Perhaps you won't appreciate my having purposefully 'run-into' you again. However, it is only to wish you well, and because I respected you - although I don't have much reason to do so. But I think we did have some good conversations in that short time. By the way, I have been back several times to that hostel and have made several friends and new acquaintances from around the world - both gay and straight.
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I just wanted to say that I wish you well, and hope you're finding life good or making of it what you want. One of my sons was living in the Bay Area for the last two years, but has now returned to Tokyo. I know at one time, you had intended to come to here for skiing. Did you make it or have you been back again since then? If you do and have time to spend, I'd be glad to show you around, or at least have some food or a drink. I'm not stalking or wanting a date - and no even interfere, but if you'd like, I'll send you a message via my 'real' (and ostensibly straight) persona here on Facebook.
Cheers,
David (alias Kelly)
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Here I sit now.. waiting and wondering what kind (if any) response I will get back. In reality, I had written to him several times (with his old Yahoo email address) but never got a reply. I suspect that if

what the blogger (link above) has written is true, then TH may be very revealing about only some aspects of his life (or even lie by others). Perhaps he would not feel safe and secure to disclose some of this past mistakes and problems. Eventually, we all get older and certainly don't want mistakes in our past to ride herd over our lives. However, it takes a man to admit that he has learned from what he did in the past. So I wonder if TH was half the man that he seemed to be at the time. Perhaps, I'll never know but it is important for him to recognize that his life did and does affect other around him - even when only knowing each other for a brief moment in time.

Added Note by author: Just the next day, I received a welcoming message from JH. He was glad to hear from me, and owing to his new business venture, he'll be coming to Japan next year a couple of times. So we'll probably have a chance to meet at that time. It's not such a small world and small minded planet after all. I will contact him subsequently via my 'real' email address and Facebook profile.












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(P.S. I am currently a bit fixated on some erotic experiences I have recently experienced with male masseurs and physical therapists, thus, the porn pic at the top. Secondly, as I live in Japan and surrounded by men in my daily live 98% of whom are Japanese, so that accounts for the later photo of Asian men. Finally, I love celebrity fake porn photos, particularly the one with Justin Bieber looks very authentic - although it's *probably* not him. )































