Surprising and disappointing!

[FanofFiction]

I am more than a little surprised and upset at the immaturity on this site. It seems that rather than have a discussion and accept people for their viewpoints, everyone would rather attack you to no end for not being a carbon copy of themselves. Sadly, it does reinforce stereotypes about 'bitchy fags' as an older gay friend of mine likes to put it.

I like to believe that such stereotypes are unfounded and started by other groups of people who would use anything to keep the gay community down. Most of the gay men I know in life are not anywheres near as 'bitchy' or 'touchy' as many of the boys on here.

Something as simple as saying "I find most tattoos generic and unoriginal" sent some people into a frenzy, replied that I am "Illogical" and "Retarded" for thinking that. For starters, it's an opinion and secondly, 'retarded' is wholly unacceptable in this day and age.

Then there are those who seemingly attack your character for no reason at all and you reread an entire thread to try and figure out where the hostility is coming from, only to discover that it to is unfounded. And if you call anybody out who is a repeat offender- usually they don't even remember the previous verbal assaults! Or at least they pretend not to.

On the upside however, there are members here who I have seen receive numerous attacks for political, religious, and philosophical beliefs and these members seldom strike back with the same cowardly 'anonymous, venomous attack'. Those members give me a lot of hope for our community. I applaud their maturity and dignity.

Is it because we are anonymous online that we become so quick to slur? Because here, we can relentlessly attack people over mundane and pointless, petty differences without fear of having our own personal flaws attacked? Would we be so bold in person? Are we really the 'bitchy' community which we are so often accused of being? I fear for the worst.

I am just saying that it is possible to hold different values, different opinions, and different beliefs without having to personnally attack others. Do try to retain some level of dignity, even if it is as an anonymous avatar on an international website. Do not be so quick to carry the burden of spite and anger on your shoulders. Make peace and not war as they say.

 

[FanofFiction]

Thank you HW. We'll likely get along!

 

[wenchine-mahtapasikan]

Nice thoughts, but I'm not hopeful enough for any kind of change.

 

[bambam]

Online forums tend to bring out the worst in some people. Anonymity and distance allow some to act inappropriately (bitchy). I'm not sure it should be attributed as being stereotypically gay.

 

[kallipolis]

This site is a valuable teaching/learning tool for many people who are in dire need of acquiring more than a few social interaction skills.

The same variety of people that we might encounter in a bar are also to be found posting here. In a bar we can ignore them. We can do likewise here.

I have noticed posters slowly change their posting habits over the years, to where they demonstrate that they are well able to learn, a few lessons from their many experiences posting on this site.

Each of us has much to learn from one another.

Angry, belligerent, obnoxious, condescending people are as likely to be PhDs, as high school drop outs.

 

[Centexfarmer]

<snip>
Is it because we are anonymous online that we become so quick to slur? Because here, we can relentlessly attack people over mundane and pointless, petty differences without fear of having our own personal flaws attacked? Would we be so bold in person? Are we really the 'bitchy' community which we are so often accused of being? I fear for the worst. <snip>

Being a member here myself since May of 2005, I was primarily drawn to the Coming Out and Relationships Forum when I first joined.

It wasn't to long before I discovered the Current Events and Politics Forum, and began posting pretty regularly in that Forum.

Within about two years of being a member here I was asked to join the Mod Team.

I guess it was because after spending so much time posting in CE&P that I had developed a reputation of being able to tell another member to go to Hell and to have them look forward to the trip.

Once I became a Moderator I had to take a "big picture" approach toward the whole of the 22 individual Forums here on JUB, including the JUB Supporters Club, and the Ask the Moderators Forum.

FanofFiction I responded to your thread here in Hot Topics because I couldn't help but notice that you're pretty much all over the place when it comes to Forums that you like to participate in here on JUB.

This is a good thing!

In my opinion, you're one of the select few who contributes here without focusing upon just ONE of those 20+ Forums as your only connection here on JUB.

So here's my personal take on things; Hot Topics is not the end all be all of Forums here on JUB.

However, Hot Topics is and has been the "birthplace" of all of those other Forums here.

Virtually every topic that's discussed here on JUB first originated right here in Hot Topics.

It's true.

After awhile the Mod Team, and the Site Owners wanted to give expression to those areas of interest so we created "sub-forums" which eventually became their own Forums, and as a result provides these discussion boards with the diversity of opinion and interests that we have today.

If it weren't for some of the "bitchy queens" here in Hot Topics we probably wouldn't have had any need or reason to separate the more serious topics for discussion into other Forums.

So let them celebrate their 'bitchyness' here in Hot Topics, and hope that they don't discover ways to be bitchy in the other Forums.

Long story short (I know to late ) don't judge the whole of the JUB Community based upon a few individuals who rarely venture out of Hot Topics.

 

[gsdx]

It surprises me, too. With all the talk of 'free speech', it seems to apply only if 'your speech agrees with mine'. Otherwise, you're not entitled to your opinion. Or, more precisely, you're entitled to it as long as you don't express it.

 

[kallipolis]

It surprises me, too. With all the talk of 'free speech', it seems to apply only if 'your speech agrees with mine'. Otherwise, you're not entitled to your opinion. Or, more precisely, you're entitled to it as long as you don't express it.

This is fair comment ... if only because we are all expected = as gay men = to fit into a particular radicalised political agenda, that fulfils the expectations of the obsessional, compulsive personality attempting to ram their manifesto down our throats.

I ignore such people. It's that easy.

 

[T-Rexx]

I started a thread on incivility on the Internet in the C&P forum last month.

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=328832

Ironically, the discussion on incivility quickly degenerated into incivility (I should have expected that in CE&P!).

It was based on a discussion of Internet incivility in The Guardian called Hate and the Internet

For some, this new technology not only facilitates, but actively encourages insidious and novel social ills. Blogs and forums are no-go zones for people who hope for rational conversation; cyberbullying has been blamed for several recent suicides; and white power, homophobic and jihadist organisations have colonised the web, preferring its potential to old-fashioned pamphleteering. It looks as if the web makes it possible for us to hate one another more easily, more efficiently and more effectively.

 

[Bent-On]

As to the subject of tattoos; rare is the tattoo that actually fits the person. Most appear to be designed for the purpose of adorning a wall, rather than the human body. They don't complement the body, nor do they stand up to scrutiny from afar, having the common appearance of smudges and the sort when viewed from a distance.

That being said, some tattoos are quite nice. Such as the 'USDA PRIME' tattoo from Matthew Ford. But then again, the man is a porn star, with the body to perfectly complement such a tattoo.

 

[Centexfarmer]

I started a thread on incivility on the Internet in the C&P forum last month.

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=328832

Ironically, the discussion on incivility quickly degenerated into incivility (I should have expected that in CE&P!).

Duh!

It was based on a discussion of Internet incivility in The Guardian

I must say that I agree with the sentiment expressed in that article.

Whenever you read a news article, or topic that's posted (at just about every website) do you ever read the "comments" section?



OMG!

The internet is filled with anonymous dick-weeds who post all sorts of hateful shit.

Fortunately JUB is Moderated (depending upon who you talk to ), and we have the ability to hold most everyone here accountable for what they post.

So long as their within the Code of Conduct / Terms of Service the members of JUB (IMO) do a really good job of holding each other accountable as well.

Believe it or not the JUB Moderators try to be as "hands-off" as possible when it comes to moderating here because these message boards belong to all of us.

We couldn't or wouldn't be able to do a very good job if so many of you weren't as proactive as you are in trying to make posting here a positive experience.

 

[gingentleman]

We live in an increasingly graceless age. I have noticed a degenerative progression of rudeness and lack of social grace over the last 20 years and find it most unpleasant! If you go sit in a public space, a mall or any public place, you will witness the most atrocious behaviour, particularly from younger people. Somehow, we have managed , as a society, to churn out an entire generation in whom we have not instilled the need to behave themselves in a pleasant fashion, whether in public or not. Now, I am not saying older people are better. Oh no, many older folks seem to have forgotten their manners as well. I do not much like this present era.

 

[anchihiro]

Yeah I get where fanoffiction is coming from.

But it could be worse. Try checking out the comments on youtube, it's repulsive.

 

[FanofFiction]

Anchihiro, I agree! I stopped reading comments on youtube about a year ago. It's disgusting. I can't believe the racial, homophobic, and plain idiot remarks. Even on videos posted by parents of their children's recitals? It's sad when you call out children on their 'lack of talent'.

Centexfarmer, I really donn't judge everyone on here based on the few who seemingly can not maintain any form of decorum. I am just saddened by the amount of people who fall into the lesser category.

 

[Centexfarmer]

Anchihiro, I agree! I stopped reading comments on youtube about a year ago. It's disgusting. I can't believe the racial, homophobic, and plain idiot remarks. Even on videos posted by parents of their children's recitals? It's sad when you call out children on their 'lack of talent'.

Centexfarmer, I really donn't judge everyone on here based on the few who seemingly can not maintain any form of decorum. I am just saddened by the amount of people who fall into the lesser category.

Me too, but what can you do?

 

[Centexfarmer]

i really hope i don't fall into that ^^

You're the only one that can do anything about that.

Whether members are aware of it or not, they're each responsible for the reputations that they create for themselves here.

 

[alli-berri]

I hear what you're saying, FanofFiction, but I don't know why you expect an internet forum community to not attract such close-minded people. I think it adds to the color and flavor of the place. It doesn't bother me when people insensitively disagree. I just ignore them, or find pleasure in the argument if I so choose to engage. Also, stating one's strongly subjective opinion (like your views on tattooing) in a blatant way is obviously going to draw negative attention. You seem smart, you should know this. So what if people react the way they do? Had you said "People to do it and it's fine by me but I don't get it" (if that's how you feel), you might not have gotten the response you did. But who cares? I think it's great you said your opinion. But don't be surprised when people freak out.

This is the internet. Anyone can and will show up. I just try and appreciate it.

 

[FanofFiction]

Mikami, dear, stating that I find most tattoos repetitive is not attacking one's character. It's like when somebody posts that they do not like Madonna or say, Pierre Trudeau, that is not attacking my character (just because I happen to like both of those people).

I am not offended if somebody posts, "Madonna is an outdated bitch. I don't think she is relevant."

I would be offended if someone posted, "FanofFiction is a stupid bitch for liking Madonna."

You see the difference? If I had posted, "People with tattoos are unoriginal," I could see the drama.

The point of this thread is to encourage people to post exactly how they feel about an object, a celebrity, a political event or practice without turning it on the JUB member who disagrees.

 

[strangepoetry]

you can't have it both ways, with you being allowed to express yourself and someone else not being warranted to.

Weird. It looked like you were the one that was being judgmental in the Tattoo thread.

And saying this site reinforces stereotypes seems silly. There are people from all over the World on here. There are stereotypes that exist because there are truth to them, the only problem with them is when you want to use them as a broad stroke towards a group of people as a negative as you have. This seems like a thing people do when they want to dislike this place, they resort to stereotyping it.

We're Adults here and most of the time people will talk to you like Adults and not agree with you. Some people reply and insult you in a childish manner and I would say for the most part people didn't do that in the specific thread you're pointing out. Probably just a poor choice of words on one part.

Not everyone here is going to be a jolly nice guy, it's a huge forum. Basing it on a few assholes or placing stereotypes on it isn't fair. You got upset because people didn't agree with you. That's your problem.

. I think it adds to the color and flavor of the place. It doesn't bother me when people insensitively disagree. I just ignore them, or find pleasure in the argument if I so choose to engage. Also, stating one's strongly subjective opinion (like your views on tattooing) in a blatant way is obviously going to draw negative attention. You seem smart, you should know this. So what if people react the way they do? Had you said "People to do it and it's fine by me but I don't get it" (if that's how you feel), you might not have gotten the response you did. But who cares? I think it's great you said your opinion. But don't be surprised when people freak out.

This is the internet. Anyone can and will show up. I just try and appreciate it.

Wholeheartedly concur.

 

[FanofFiction]

Thank you for taking a singular post out of context. This is exactly what I am talking about.

Somebody wanted to know why I don't want a tattoo. I replied by letting said person know that I don't want to get something done, which is permanent, because the end resulut may be my thinking it's just another generic tattoo which everyone already has.

And if you would kindly, reread my posts from this thread, you will see that it is not I who is stating everyone is bitchy, but that I fear this gives people reason to justify their stereotypes.