Talk about your relationship with your dad

[Croynan]

I have to disagree with that statement in do part because I had

a very happy childhood, was never abused by anyone, nor did

have any homosexual influences to become who I am today! my

homosexuality is totally a mistery to me, and I prefer to leave it

that! what matters to me is to find happiness and just be me!!



A HUMAN BEING IS NOT AN EQUATION OR A LAB MOUSE!

A HUMAN BEING IS ABOUT FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS!


LEANDRO

That is very much my point. Feeling and emotions and enviornment and genetics are all thought to be causal factors in homosexuality. One happy childhood for one may not work for another. There are a variety of factors involved in homosexuality and ignoring one in favor of another is going to miss someone from the equation as to how or why they are homosexual or not.

A lot of children come from happy childhoods (what ever that means) some become homosexual and some do not. A happy childhood worked for you but that may not apply to someone else.

As for including the issue of abuse, i do not beleive that anywhere did i mention that as a factor and in all honesty i was in error for leaving it out. Abuse can be a factor leading and or contributing to homosexuality.

Because you have come from a happy childhood and still have become a homosexual does not necessarily apply to all. What ever the causes of your own homosexuality are/were, is something you may never know and or want to know. That is your decision.

The complexities of all childhoods are such that it is vertually impossible to determine to what degree homosexuality was determined by that factor alone.

The only other question i might pose to you and not for the purpose of an attack or anything of that nature is - how do you know your entire childhood was happy. Unless i am mistake there are parts of all of our childhoods we basically know nothing about. So that to say I had a happy childhood - my response would be "how do you know"

absolutely no offense is intended by this posting and if anyone feels that this posting is in any way improper, i ask them to please report this posting as unacceptable or report it to the mods for its removal - my permission is here by granted. croynan.

eM.

 

[BrandonSBCA]

Its all false when it comes to people saying the reason why you're gay is because you never had a good relationship with your father. Me and my Dad got along very well, and when I came out to him, I felt I got more close to my Dad than ever, he even gets worried about me now that I've come out to him.

 

[Joshua_me]

I dunno...

A part of me wants to weigh in on this subject and say, "What BS !
You, I were born gay....Our Fathers had nothing to do with it !"

But, then again...

If I had to paint a picture of a 'turned him gay' household, mine would be
the 'primest' of prime examples...

My Dad was an embarrassing drunk, (having NO Dad would have been preferable, frankly...) Who rambled on about all things that a little kid like me should never have heard...

I was instead raised by my Mom, my Grandmother, and my Mom's rather domineering female friends....whose basic viewpoint sort of boiled down to, "Your Dad is an idiot and a drunk, you should strive to be more like us..."

Did this 'turn me gay' ?

I have NO idea.

I DO know I was, by three years of age, walking around the house belting out show tunes I'd learned from my Mom's LP's, and fascinated with clothes and fashion in general. (Let's heap on the cliches, here...)

But, as early as age six or seven, I remember being attracted to other guys my age, in more ways than just friendship... So, who knows.

Either way, the entire 'nature or nurture' argument really doesn't matter all that much... You are who you are.

But still.

I can't help but wonder.

Joshy

 

[halubtsi]

chobbs, sorry to hear about your shrink. I had to laugh when you posted about what you found when you googled his name...not out of humour, but out of disbelief.

At least now you know where your shrink is coming from. You know the agenda he happens to be advancing, so you'll be better able to take his "advice" with a grain of salt. And you may wish to ask your shrink what his definition of "gay" is. He'll probably make a distinction between "gay" and "same-sex attracted." So be careful. He will tell you at some point that you're not gay, but "same-sex attracted." I've never been to a shrink but I know Catholic doctrine pretty well. I also understand what COURAGE is about.

The premise behind Courage, is that a person can live a str8 life in spite of having same-sex attraction. It encourages the person to acknowledge that they have a same-sex attraction. Then it finds an explanation as to why they have these same-sex attractions. Finally, it encourages the person to not act on those feelings, because it's not natural. (Hence, the reason they find an explanation for having same-sex attraction). And if you look at their "success stories" they haven't gotten over their same-sex feelings.

 

[cocktales]

**Ger!

What a wonderful well-written answer...

If anyone doesn't understand your answer to this myth the Doc is espousing, then there's NO hope for 'em!!!

Ger, I have NO idea why you aren't snapped-up by some wonderful man who is loving and caring and understanding of you and vice-versa......another one of the Hmmmmmmmmmm's!!!

One day, yep.........soon, thy shall have it all, so don't give up the ship quite yet my intelligent pianist.........it shall be done, we ALL promise!

Your honesty and sheer intelligence about things astound me (sorry if I embrass you), and want for you the best there is my friend!

Now to the thread writer, listen to this guy here and ALL those who deny the Doc's crazy un-truths about Dad's/son's relationships.

(Forgive my hi-jack!!!) plzzzzz????

My Dad and I always had a wonderful, special relationship. I grew up on a farm and worked right along side of Dad tending animals, breeding animals and watching/helping births of animals and learned from my Dad the wonder of life and how wonderful and loving a family I had..........and miss so very much now that both of them are gone!

Believe in yourself and NOT in some quack who theorizes such crapola about the why's and hows of being a homosexual.......we are therefore we shall be!

 

[The_Reaper]

I'd be wary of your shrink, sounds like someone hasn't been told homosexuality isn't a mental condition anymore...


As for my relationship with my father....

There's one thing that sticks out in my mind that shows just how deep my relationship with him was:

After my brother found out I was gay, he told my father. Due to my father's job, he worked shift work and was often in and out of the house at odd hours. Since it was summer I was free to sleep in, and after my brother told him I made sure to stay in my room for a bit.

It was awkward, avoiding one's parent...But eventually he came into my room, and almost near tears told me that he didn't want me to think he was avoiding me, and then he did start to cry and told me that no matter what I'm his son and he loves me regardless of what I do.

We also agreed that it would be best for him to break the news to mom, as he would be able to keep her calm and I never was very good at telling either of them about who I was.

That moment, when he came into my room...A man who I've only seen cry a few times in his life, was so powerful for me and let me know that despite this sort of distance I have from my parents, that it's not as distant as I thought it was.

So, I had and still have a great relationship with my father...

We'll see how things go when I bring a boyfriend home for the first time.