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On Topic Discussion Taralen's 2018 Random Musings About Life...

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Re: Why are straight people not interested in your personal life being gay?

You can also say not being able to relate, not the same as being uninterested or not supporting of you, I just disagree, and that's just me.

I don't relate to a lot of things, but I still accept those circuits and want to know and learn more.
 
Re: Should queer people be open at their workplace?

Just being more comfortable at work, just seems like a more wise choice to make. I would hate to have to be fenced and closed in at a place I go to everyday as my place of business. I just can't do it. But that's just me though.
 
Re: Why is the gay community not accepting of alternative lifestyles/personalities?

That's why I feel it hurts more in the queer community, and I don't understand most of the hate.
 
Re: Why is the gay community so promiscious and sex crazed?

Taralen said:
I never went inside. I went to the fucking door and walked away. Fuck.

Now I have lied in posts from years ago, when I was young and stupid to fit in being black and gay. I wanted to be liked. The staff already know and cleared all that shit up. That was the fucking past, not now. I quit lying.

I am a virgin, and I've never had a boyfriend or had sex and I'm 27 years old.
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What I can say to you and I really say it respectfully is that we - gay persons or even women - need to understand we don´t need to have a man/boyfriend/husband to be happy. We should find our happiness because we deserve it. So you´ve never had a boyfriend. It doesn´t disqualify you as person. It didn´t happen. Many persons don´t have boyfriends. Because they are shy, because they needed to study, because they needed to work or due to another reasons. Each of us has an own history. Nobody is obligated to follow standards that media sells.
 
Do you think Ex Gay/conversion therapy is okay?

This is a list of several topics I wanted to discuss that I feel people aren't really discussing in the queer/gay male community which are.

Do you think Ex Gay/conversion therapy is okay?
Why is mental illness taboo in the gay community?
How you deal with a crush?
If you could take a pill to no longer be gay, would you take it?
Have you ever attempted suicide from being gay?
How to handle rejection or disappointment in the gay community?

Just as an introduction as I know we all come from different backgrounds and situations and experiences, I am a gay African/Black American feminine man.

So in this topic, I'm asking do you think going through ex gay/conversion therapy a good idea.

This is not to be confused with If you could take a pill to no longer be gay, would you take it?

I'm going to say, I have thought about doing ex gay therapy many times. Maybe it's because I'm black and gay, and sadly most ex gay testimonies I see on youtube, such as this one.


I remember seeing this video back when I was in my first years of college, and being kinda intrigued.

During this time I was really struggling with my sexuality, and not liking being gay.

I just have to be honest and say that if I could find ways to change being gay, I would. Yet at the same time, I can't say that I lean on one side or the other, and that things are just the way they are.

But this topic is more towards ex gay therapy and conversion therapy and methods. I just wanted opinions and to express myself in this regard.

I'm going to say neither yes or no, because I don't know.

But I do sometimes contemplate it and think about it, so I just want to be neutral right now.
 
Re: Do you think Ex Gay/conversion therapy is okay?

I think it's disgusting and all those that run the courses need shooting.
 
Why is mental illness taboo in the gay community?

This is a list of several topics I wanted to discuss that I feel people aren't really discussing in the queer/gay male community which are.

Do you think Ex Gay/conversion therapy is okay?
Why is mental illness taboo in the gay community?
How you deal with a crush?
If you could take a pill to no longer be gay, would you take it?
Have you ever attempted suicide from being gay?
How to handle rejection or disappointment in the gay community?

Just as an introduction as I know we all come from different backgrounds and situations and experiences, I am a gay African/Black American feminine man.

So in this topic, I'm asking why is mental illness taboo in the gay community.

This is not to be confused with, Have you ever attempted suicide from being gay.

Now I made this thread a couple months ago.

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/threads/467019-I-have-Borderline-Personality-Disorder

To where I talk about me being mentally ill.

I was hoping to receive more support or understanding based on that, yet I wasn't.

I feel this is due to the taboo that being mentally ill in the gay community is.

It's something I've found basically little to zero information on online.

Other gay guys who are autistic, bipolar, who have personality disorders, depression etc. It's just hard to find this information on it.

So why is it so taboo?

I'm just concerned.
 
How you deal with a crush?

This is a list of several topics I wanted to discuss that I feel people aren't really discussing in the queer/gay male community which are.

Do you think Ex Gay/conversion therapy is okay?
Why is mental illness taboo in the gay community?
How you deal with a crush?
If you could take a pill to no longer be gay, would you take it?
Have you ever attempted suicide from being gay?
How to handle rejection or disappointment in the gay community?

Just as an introduction as I know we all come from different backgrounds and situations and experiences, I am a gay African/Black American feminine man.

So in this topic, I want to know how do you deal with a crush.

This is not to be confused with, How to handle rejection or disappointment in the gay community. To where it isn't necessary romance and relationship based.

So being gay, I've had many crushes on guys who are all sexuality.

I will say having a crush on a straight guy, seems the worst at first. As there are more straight men in the world, so being single, you are more likely to crush or infatuate over a guy who's not even gay.

But having a crush on a gay/bi/queer guy can be even more damaging. As he's also attracted to guys as well, but there isn't that many gay guys out there, so you feel more attacked or bothered due to this.

In any case, I feel a crush in general is hard to deal with.

My only thing, how do you deal with a crush, if they don't seem interested, they turned you down, they are straight, the guy is gay himself but isn't attracted to you.

If you still think about them a lot, and you don't think you'll ever find someone better as them?

When you are getting over your crush and you are starting to hate them, yet still deep down in your heart you still think there is a chance or still have attraction or whatever.

So how do you deal with all of this?

The way I deal with it, is that I develop another crush, which could make things harder.

Yet in some cases I get over those pasts crushes. I start to see what I did wrong, or what about me did this person didn't like, or if it wasn't meant to be, why do I still keep thinking about them?

So it's hard in that regard, but I don't know.

I just think being single and alone it's hard to get over shit like this, but I don't know.

How do you deal with a crush?
 
If you could take a pill to no longer be gay, would you take it?

This is a list of several topics I wanted to discuss that I feel people aren't really discussing in the queer/gay male community which are.

Do you think Ex Gay/conversion therapy is okay?
Why is mental illness taboo in the gay community?
How you deal with a crush?
If you could take a pill to no longer be gay, would you take it?
Have you ever attempted suicide from being gay?
How to handle rejection or disappointment in the gay community?

Just as an introduction as I know we all come from different backgrounds and situations and experiences, I am a gay African/Black American feminine man.

So in this topic, I'm asking a very simple question, if you could take a pill to no longer be gay, would you take it?

This is not to be confused with the thread, Do you think Ex Gay/conversion therapy is okay?

So that's it. It's just a simple question.

My answer to that is, I do not know. I can't say, "no I'm not going to take it." the other part of me is saying, "yes I will take it."

Possibly for different reasons.

I'm saying no I won't swallow it because, I want to be proud of who I am, and appreciate being different from others, and going through struggles.

The other part of me is saying yes I will swallow it, the fact I'm also black as well in addition to being gay/queer, the fact I have to be fearful of my body, the fact I don't feel like a man sometimes, the fact I feel so behind people my age and missing out on so much, the fact I feel like an alien and ostracized and like a second class person in the world.

So yeah that's how I feel about it.

What do you think or feel?
 
Have you ever attempted suicide from being gay?

This is a list of several topics I wanted to discuss that I feel people aren't really discussing in the queer/gay male community which are.

Do you think Ex Gay/conversion therapy is okay?
Why is mental illness taboo in the gay community?
How you deal with a crush?
If you could take a pill to no longer be gay, would you take it?
Have you ever attempted suicide from being gay?
How to handle rejection or disappointment in the gay community?

Just as an introduction as I know we all come from different backgrounds and situations and experiences, I am a gay African/Black American feminine man.

So in this topic, I'm asking if anyone due to being so depressed from being gay, ever attempted suicide.

This is not to be confused with the thread, Why is mental illness taboo in the gay community?

Suicide is a tough topic so I can understand those uncomfortable to share.

I've done it twice. I don't totally remember my first attempt all that well. I think I was working at this hotel and I had gotten fired. I broke down in the parking lot and wanted to jump off.

But my second attempt I remember more vividly.

A year and a half ago. I was just upset being black and gay and feminine and alone with no family support, no partner (I'm 27 and I've never had a boyfriend) and dealing with my mental illnesses. I'm still dealing with these issues. Even right now, I'm depressed, and feeling alone and retelling this event.

So what was the ultimate trigger, was I was fired from this job I really liked. I got fired from another job after this ordeal, and I'm still unemployed right now, but I'm looking for work.

Later that day I got very intoxicated, and I know my blood alcohol level was at a fatal point. I decided to go to the Los Angeles Harbor and kinda sit off a bluff by these rocks underneath the cranes. I don't know how nobody saw me, but they didn't. But I was like 20 feet up from the water to which if I fell, I most likely would have died. I also could have died due to my blood alcohol level. I lost consciousness, and luckily I didn't fall or hurt myself. I in a comatose state managed to walk back to my residence which wasn't far, like a half hour walk from this location.

I just feel so upset sometimes, and I feel so alone and I feel that depressed.

I just wanted to know anybody else's situations to sort of help each other.

I mean I'm glad I'm alive, but I don't know, it's crazy to go back.

Just wanted to open up about this.
 
How to handle rejection or disappointment in the gay community?

This is a list of several topics I wanted to discuss that I feel people aren't really discussing in the queer/gay male community which are.

Do you think Ex Gay/conversion therapy is okay?
Why is mental illness taboo in the gay community?
How you deal with a crush?
If you could take a pill to no longer be gay, would you take it?
Have you ever attempted suicide from being gay?
How to handle rejection or disappointment in the gay community?

Just as an introduction as I know we all come from different backgrounds and situations and experiences, I am a gay African/Black American feminine man.

So in this topic, I'm asking how to/how do you handle rejection or disappointment in the gay community?

This is not to be confused with the thread, How you deal with a crush.

I think being gay, we are faced with a lot of rejection and disappointment.

Whether that's a guy that's straight, and he rejects and shuns you and doesn't want anything to do with you. Whether that's another gay guy, and because he's not attracted to you, or doesn't want you apart of his group, he rejects you. Whether you are denied access somewhere due to being gay, or you can't travel to some places being openly gay, or you go for job interviews and don't get the job being gay, or have been fired from jobs for being gay, you are trying to find a place to live, and experience prejudice from that. List of other reasons as well.

I mean it doesn't have to necessarily be about being gay, (even though in some cases it does play a factor) but rejection does happen.

I just want to know how to handle it, and how do you handle it as well. As it's really tough and it's hard to go through and deal with those issues.

How I deal with it, is I tell myself that I simply was not good enough for that particular situation., Whether it's a person I'm attracted to, or a job I tried to apply for, or I got fired from, or I'm trying to be included in a group, or I enter a contest, or whatever have you.

It doesn't necessarily mean being gay or whatever I did was bad, I just simply wasn't good enough.

The only issue is that I feel I'm letting myself down, and I feel I can't ever get a chance to win or succeed due to that, so it causes a lot of issues and problems.

But I want to know how do you deal with it, and how to not let it get to you so much. Because this is the part I struggle on a lot.

So I wanted to just get more information on this.
 
Re: How you deal with a crush?

How do you deal with a crush?

I don't crush on straight guys, gay guys in real life who i have a crush on, i fuck.
 
Re: If you could take a pill to no longer be gay, would you take it?

That intro you're adding into every thread is unnecessary, distracting and probably alienating your readers. I know you're going to argue why it isn't, I was just saying so you can't say no one told you.

Anywho, what's with this question, is it 1994? A resounding hell no! It's 2018 gay people are on tv, at the Grammys, the sciences https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com...s-this-guy-even-real/articleshow/62630415.cms all over the place. And being a gay American really helps to keep things in perspective, considering how less fairly our cousins overseas are fairing at the moment. Then again self-acceptance has never been a huge issue for me. I don't see any point in crying about something you can't change. (pretend I posted a beautiful image of the serenity prayer in fancy font with a soothing HD background like a waterfall or a cave or some shit).
 
Re: If you could take a pill to no longer be gay, would you take it?

No, i like cock.
 
Re: Have you ever attempted suicide from being gay?

I'm going to if I have to read another one of these threads
 
Re: Why is the gay community so promiscious and sex crazed?

Taralen said:
I never went inside. I went to the fucking door and walked away. Fuck.
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You made it farther than I would :lol: wouldn't even go as far as the door (or even into the parkinglot for that matter)
Places like that and the random hooks that go on there are absolutely not my thing...


I am a virgin, and I've never had a boyfriend or had sex and I'm 27 years old.
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Same, except that I've got well over a decade on you :?
 
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