On Topic Discussion Taralen's 2018 Random Musings About Life...

[Taralen]

Re: Why is everyone so oblivious here? YOU GUYS EXIST AS GAY MEN IN REAL LIFE

I'd usually tell you to stop talking shite, but after the abuse i've had on here today i can only agree with you.

Feel free to PM me if you ever want a chatter, and of course the invitation to the last post win in Fun&Games is always open.

No offense. I don't mean this to attack you.

But please don't give me that shit. If you wanted to PM me, you would just hit me up with no hesitation.

No I don't want to post in the games section either. I'm not in the mood for that.

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Y O U A R E P R O J E C T I N G

This is so tiring...listening to you spew your abusive crap ...

But yeah..everyone else is the problem...

Poor you...

I'm in the United States.

When we are not even maybe a little bubbling under 1% of the population (according to polls), as queer men, yes y'all are the fucking problem.

In the straight world, you can put people to that side and be like "look in the mirror"

Not in this community when sadly there isn't that much of us out here.

 

[Cormac135]

Re: Why is everyone so oblivious here? YOU GUYS EXIST AS GAY MEN IN REAL LIFE

And it just gets thrown back in your face.

Noted.

 

[Taralen]

Re: What kind of music do you like?

I'm not really a Beyonce fan at all. lol. I mean I like a few of her tracks. I need my gay black card revoked now. But I love this song. It's so depressing.

 

[rareboy]

Re: Why is everyone so oblivious here? YOU GUYS EXIST AS GAY MEN IN REAL LIFE

You are apparently in a manic/depressive state....I assume after some crisis in the last couple of weeks.

I will repeat my advice.

You need to find a real, qualified counsellor for in-person therapeutic discussion.

Yelling at a bunch of avatars from around the world is not helping you.

My fear is that if you are acting out like this in the real world, you are going to come to harm.

We get it. You are Black. You are Feminine. You have mental health issues. You are having trouble making and keeping friends.

If you are looking to find a boyfriend and love on JUB, give up that fantasy. We are not oblivious assholes. Most of us are either partnered or not looking to connect on that level.

You are bucking to be banned and at the rate that you are going, it isn't going to be much longer.

 

[rareboy]

Re: Why is everyone so oblivious here? YOU GUYS EXIST AS GAY MEN IN REAL LIFE

You also don't have to keep making separate threads about your existential crisis.

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

Re: Why is everyone so oblivious here? YOU GUYS EXIST AS GAY MEN IN REAL LIFE

Y O U A R E P R O J E C T I N G

This is so tiring...listening to you spew your abusive crap ...

But yeah..everyone else is the problem...

Poor you...

Unfortunately we live in the era of victimhood. Too many people want to be a victim and cry foul, some even try to be a victim for others. It’s sad.

 

[luckynumbah7]

Re: Why is everyone so oblivious here? YOU GUYS EXIST AS GAY MEN IN REAL LIFE

We already know you're Not Okay so it's incredibly unlikely someone is going to ask you the question just to have you repeat yourself to 'em, in a pm, at great length. After 11 years no one awares is going to jump in that boat unless they're well and sure they think you might take their advice seriously for a half-second. You have many reposted threads where that hasn't occurred. So I doubt people are going to pm you their phone number or volunteer their home address on the same reasoning.

Get thee to a therapist. None of us here are your therapist.

Course, you're not supposed to hurl abuse at your therapist, either.

 

[Taralen]

Re: Why is everyone so oblivious here? YOU GUYS EXIST AS GAY MEN IN REAL LIFE

You are apparently in a manic/depressive state....I assume after some crisis in the last couple of weeks.

I will repeat my advice.

You need to find a real, qualified counsellor for in-person therapeutic discussion.

Whether I'm in a manic episode right now is dismissive. As this is how I feel anyways.

I'm in the process of trying to talk a professional. Hopefully by May, at the most I can find experts to talk to.

Yelling at a bunch of avatars from around the world is not helping you.

THAT'S THE POINT, THAT'S THE EXACT MOTHERFUCKING POINT I'M TRYING TO MAKE.

RAREBOY YOU ARE NOT AN AVATAR. YOU ARE A QUEER MAN LIKE MYSELF. WE ARE AN ENDANGERED FUCKING SPECIES AS FAR AS I'M CONSIDERED.

Your position with that vice you have, isn't helping at all. It's not. It's only making me more upset.

My fear is that if you are acting out like this in the real world, you are going to come to harm.

I'm not. I still have to contribute to society as a gay black man and being shunned by society. Pay bills and stuff. But the fact the quarter million gay guys on here who also treat me like this in real life. Scares me more.

We get it. You are Black. You are Feminine. You have mental health issues. You are having trouble making and keeping friends.

You having a condescending negative position towards that isn't helping any at all. Thanks.

If you are looking to find a boyfriend and love on JUB, give up that fantasy. We are not oblivious assholes. Most of us are either partnered or not looking to connect on that level.

Wow. Crusher of dreams you. Are you serious?

I love how you speak for the other damn near quarter of million users on here all well. Lovely. Shit.

Fuck. Might as well tell me to kill myself.

 

[Taralen]

Re: What kind of music do you like?

Yes. I love Jody Watley so much. Nice jazzy R&B and soul.

 

[Taralen]

Re: Why is everyone so oblivious here? YOU GUYS EXIST AS GAY MEN IN REAL LIFE

We already know you're Not Okay so it's incredibly unlikely someone is going to ask you the question just to have you repeat yourself to 'em, in a pm, at great length. After 11 years no one awares is going to jump in that boat unless they're well and sure they think you might take their advice seriously for a half-second. You have many reposted threads where that hasn't occurred. So I doubt people are going to pm you their phone number or volunteer their home address on the same reasoning.

Get thee to a therapist. None of us here are your therapist.

Course, you're not supposed to hurl abuse at your therapist, either.

The gay community is full of racists and fem bashers anyways. So they are just gonna find some other reason to shun me. I consider it an honor anyways.

The fact I'm not only black and gay, but untrustworthy as well. Wow. Shit. Like I'm screwed for life now.

 

[Dominus]

Re: Why is everyone so oblivious here? YOU GUYS EXIST AS GAY MEN IN REAL LIFE

When we are not even maybe a little bubbling under 1% of the population (according to polls), as queer men, yes y'all are the fucking problem.

First of all, I just want to say that I have no idea what the OP is about. I'm sorry if you are facing issues in your personal life.

I refuse to believe that the gay population is a mere 1-2% like what we've been told. I do not have any scientific survey to back my belief up, but personal experience has told me there are a lot more of us around. For instance, my spouse and I recently went on a cruise. Out of the 5 lunches that we had on that cruise, we randomly sat at a table right next to another gay couple. Talking to random people, we met 4 other gay couples there. And these were just couples. We ran into may be half a dozen single gay men during our trip. And this was just one trip. We regularly travel quite a bit, and we randomly run into many gay couples and singles.

I'm not an expert in statistics, but if only 1% of the population is gay, we shouldn't be running into so many gay people by random.

 

[rareboy]

Re: Why is everyone so oblivious here? YOU GUYS EXIST AS GAY MEN IN REAL LIFE

Whether I'm in a manic episode right now is dismissive. As this is how I feel anyways.

I'm in the process of trying to talk a professional. Hopefully by May, at the most I can find experts to talk to.



THAT'S THE POINT, THAT'S THE EXACT MOTHERFUCKING POINT I'M TRYING TO MAKE.

RAREBOY YOU ARE NOT AN AVATAR. YOU ARE A QUEER MAN LIKE MYSELF. WE ARE AN ENDANGERED FUCKING SPECIES AS FAR AS I'M CONSIDERED.

Your position with that vice you have, isn't helping at all. It's not. It's only making me more upset.



I'm not. I still have to contribute to society as a gay black man and being shunned by society. Pay bills and stuff. But the fact the quarter million gay guys on here who also treat me like this in real life. Scares me more.



You having a condescending negative position towards that isn't helping any at all. Thanks.



Wow. Crusher of dreams you. Are you serious?

I love how you speak for the other damn near quarter of million users on here all well. Lovely. Shit.

Fuck. Might as well tell me to kill myself.

You need to talk to someone before May. Your anger is potentially self destructive. As I suggested in another thread, contact one of the LGBTQ groups and ask them if they can help put you in touch with a qualified crisis management counsellor who can listen to you in real time.

And no, advising you that the road to a long term relationship is not likely through a thinly active bulletin board on a porn site is akin to suggesting that life is not worth living is silly. If you are feeling self-destructive, please contact a crisis line as soon as possible.

But I have requested that the mods intervene before you do end up getting yourself put on holiday until you have regained some balance.

 

[sixthson]

Re: Why is everyone so oblivious here? YOU GUYS EXIST AS GAY MEN IN REAL LIFE

Taralen, most of us here do try to help, but when you are scolding us, it doesn't exactly encourage that. You and I have shared some PMs and you told me some things about your life. I know you've had a difficult life and there is nothing wrong with the topics you bring to the forums, but you discourage civil responses when you are in attack mode. Try approaching your threads from a different angle and remember if you want respect, you have to give respect.

 

[gsdx]

Re: Why is everyone so oblivious here? YOU GUYS EXIST AS GAY MEN IN REAL LIFE

Course, you're not supposed to hurl abuse at your therapist, either.

Indeed. We can't get to the root of the problem, but real therapists can, and they are trained to sort accept abuse and to sort through to find out what is causing it.

You simply can't get that in a forum such as this.

 

[Taralen]

Re: Why is everyone so oblivious here? YOU GUYS EXIST AS GAY MEN IN REAL LIFE

First of all, I just want to say that I have no idea what the OP is about. I'm sorry if you are facing issues in your personal life.

I refuse to believe that the gay population is a mere 1-2% like what we've been told. I do not have any scientific survey to back my belief up, but personal experience has told me there are a lot more of us around. For instance, my spouse and I recently went on a cruise. Out of the 5 lunches that we had on that cruise, we randomly sat at a table right next to another gay couple. Talking to random people, we met 4 other gay couples there. And these were just couples. We ran into may be half a dozen single gay men during our trip. And this was just one trip. We regularly travel quite a bit, and we randomly run into many gay couples and singles.

I'm not an expert in statistics, but if only 1% of the population is gay, we shouldn't be running into so many gay people by random.

In United States if you read my post.

Out of the whole planet, that's inconclusive. As there are many cultural rules and rituals as to what classifies a queer person or not, so it's complicated.

but as far as the western world and United States in particular.

1 percent of queer men is about right.

In the United States there are over 300 million people here.

1 percent of 300 million is 3 Million people.

So there are statically 3 Million queer men, as opposed to possibly 150 million men in total in United States population.

Here in California where I live, statistically they say 5% of adult people here are LGBT. So I'll be fair and give 2 percent of that to queer men.

So 2 percent of 3 million is

60000 guys live in my state.

That's not even a little over half of the capacity of the Rose Bowl here in California.

That's less than the number of guys on total on JUB. That's not even a quarter of the guys that are on JUB.

So that's really sad once you think about it.

That's not even factoring guys that are single, guys that I'm attracted to/attracted to me. Which may be an even lower number than that.

So yeah. I think my assessment is about right.

 

[Taralen]

Re: Why is everyone so oblivious here? YOU GUYS EXIST AS GAY MEN IN REAL LIFE

You need to talk to someone before May. Your anger is potentially self destructive. As I suggested in another thread, contact one of the LGBTQ groups and ask them if they can help put you in touch with a qualified crisis management counsellor who can listen to you in real time.

If I want actual help, and be assessed and all of that, I think maybe around April in the least if I'm fortunate enough, possibly May for sure. I'm not sure if I'm able to see someone in less than a month though to be honest. But.

I can call a LGBT crisis line, however they are not professionals themselves. They are just kindred heart volunteers. Nothing more or less. I can only speak to them for 20 minutes to which then they have to disconnect the call.

it's very generic help and advice and it's for immediate crisis, which I'm not necessarily in.

I'm just dealing with mental issues and need to talk to a psychiatrist/psychotherapist etc. which is different.

UNTIL THEN HOWEVER,

I feel this place can be just as helpful.

I'm not hurting myself or anybody else.

I just want to talk to other gay men like myself, as we are such, SUCH, a low populous portion of this community.

I don't want to look at erotica, I don't. I want to look at love, inspiration, compassion, all that shit.

And no, advising you that the road to a long term relationship is not likely through a thinly active bulletin board on a porn site is akin to suggesting that life is not worth living is silly. If you are feeling self-destructive, please contact a crisis line as soon as possible.

All I can say is that it's utter bullshit. I've known both hetrosexual and homosexual and queer couples that have met partners on social media, in addition their partners also have accounts on the site and they each have thousands of posts.

I'm not gonna name drop but yeah.

Realistically, because you disagree with that prospect, don't fuck up my dreams with that shit.

The reason why I equated it with suicide, as that goes in tandem when people perceive you when you present an unrealistic claim like that according to you.

Like "I want to win the lottery." People usually respond with "Well you might as well get struck by lighting three times in a row." etc. Shit like that.

I'm not everybody on this site. I don't know what turns on or turns people off on this fucking site.

It reminds me of that game show Take Me Out. I'm not sure if you are familiar with it. I believe there are episodes online of it.

How it works is that one person stands in front of the stage, and other single people have a spotlight on them. The single person on the stage has facts about them revealed to the other people on stage that some people might find as a turn off. If they are unattracted to that person, they hit a button that turns their spotlight off. As time goes on, more stereotypical things that people usually find unattractive are revealed about the person until only one person decides that person turns them on, and they are a match and go on a date together.

If out of 100 guys, if just one guy is turned on by me, awesome; and the same. If I'm with 100 other guys, and all 99 other guys are turned off at him, I don't give a fuck. What matters is me.

I don't know what turns on or turns people off on this fucking site. Neither do you. So don't you dare spout shit like that.

 

[Taralen]

Re: Why is everyone so oblivious here? YOU GUYS EXIST AS GAY MEN IN REAL LIFE

Indeed. We can't get to the root of the problem, but real therapists can, and they are trained to sort accept abuse and to sort through to find out what is causing it.

You simply can't get that in a forum such as this.

That's where I disagree.

Yes a therapist/psychotherapist/psychologist can improve my mental health in that regard yes.

But the best way to deal with these issues are to involve myself with my brethren and my other cohabitants of my species. Which are queer men.

As I'm unfortunately a queer man.

It's not the therapists fault that this community is fucked up it's not.

It's ours. So yes, this is the root of the problem.

 

[rareboy]

Re: Why is everyone so oblivious here? YOU GUYS EXIST AS GAY MEN IN REAL LIFE

READ THIS one more time.

This community is not fucked up.

We all do not share your existential despair or anger.

We don't actually owe one another anything when it comes down to it. We are here for many reasons, including the porn and the laughs.

I have a sense that your relentless negativity and yelling at people on websites is either getting you kicked out or ignored.

You seem to be having some difficulty in controlling your rage about everything these days. Even talking to a volunteer counsellor would be good, but I was suggesting that you ask them to connect you with a qualified therapist as soon as possible. I repeat this advice.

You seem to be angry that you shouldn't count on a boyfriend to fall out of the sky on the Hot Topics board on JUB. There are not 250,000 active members on this board. There are probably less than 100 active users these days. And if you think someone might be hiding in plain sight here, you should really re-read all of your posts, the mother thread that this latest one sprung from and the one recently closed and ask yourself whether your expressed anger and complaints would really be that appealing to someone looking to make a casual friend or looking for a boyfriend.

We all want you to feel better, but you have to do almost all the heavy lifting here.

Maybe step away and just think about this for awhile instead of firing off a white hot response.

 

[Taralen]

Re: Why is everyone so oblivious here? YOU GUYS EXIST AS GAY MEN IN REAL LIFE

READ THIS one more time.

This community is not fucked up.

We all do not share your existential despair or anger.

We don't actually owe one another anything when it comes down to it. We are here for many reasons, including the porn and the laughs.

I have a sense that your relentless negativity and yelling at people on websites is either getting you kicked out or ignored.

This community is fucked up. Not JUB standing alone, but the queer male community in general.

I'm sorry, but it is very much fucked up.

Next, you do owe me support, due to how long I've been apart of this site. That's all I'm asking for is for support.

You saying that there is only 100 active members here I don't think is correct at all.

For some reason JUB doesn't come up on google search for "gay help and advice" etc.

But after skimming through the sites that do come up, JUB is by far the most popular and more inclusive one towards queer men.

Two other competitors would be RJ, which is only focused towards bodybuilding and fitness, and EC, which is not queer male inclusive. It's only queer inclusive, and more geared towards youth if I should say.

This site is more geared towards sensuality and sexuality in a neutral way. Which is what I think cares in most queer men circuits.

This site has also being around the longest too if I'm not mistaken as well.

You seem to be having some difficulty in controlling your rage about everything these days. Even talking to a volunteer counsellor would be good, but I was suggesting that you ask them to connect you with a qualified therapist as soon as possible. I repeat this advice.

Nobody is perfect. I do have a short fuse yes, which I'm working on. Nobody is perfect. I do have happy moments.

I'd be happier if I had a boyfriend to do these happy moments with though.

You seem to be angry that you shouldn't count on a boyfriend to fall out of the sky on the Hot Topics board on JUB. There are not 250,000 active members on this board. There are probably less than 100 active users these days. And if you think someone might be hiding in plain sight here, you should really re-read all of your posts, the mother thread that this latest one sprung from and the one recently closed and ask yourself whether your expressed anger and complaints would really be that appealing to someone looking to make a casual friend or looking for a boyfriend.

It's not that. I just feel that due to how popular this site is, I don't see why it can't happen.

So I don't know.

We all want you to feel better, but you have to do almost all the heavy lifting here.

Maybe step away and just think about this for awhile instead of firing off a white hot response.

It doesn't seem like it.

 

[Dominus]

Re: Why is everyone so oblivious here? YOU GUYS EXIST AS GAY MEN IN REAL LIFE

.

I'd be happier if I had a boyfriend to do these happy moments with though.

Have you tried the various dating sites? A little pleasant personality and positive outlook goes a long way.