Re: Why is the gay community not accepting of alternative lifestyles/personalities?
They do. Far more than you can possibly imagine.
They do not.
Yeah many people have the same shade of eyes in common, or have the same job or whatever. That's kinda mundane though.
The only thing that matters is sex appeal. (Which varies depending on the person.), and that's Physical/body attraction, mental/mind/personality attraction, and emotional/spiritual attraction.
To me those are the only things that matter. None of that has to do with things in common.
You can't compare spiritually and emotions. As you said it yourself, we are all different.
I said just a few posts ago that I'm down to one movie a year, and that I have a tough time getting through that one. I may never go back to a movie theater again.
That was not my point at all. The point is, you still like to watch movies right? Whether thats at the cinema or at home, whatever. That's my point I'm trying to get.
I can guarantee you that she does. It may not be obvious to you, but they bonded over something.
Yeah she liked his manhood, and he liked her womanly charm. That's what they had in common.
Other than that, if you studied the both of them on their own, George Lucas is a very introverted man and he's very stern and strict with his opinions. (As a movie director you would have to be.)
However his wife, she's very SJW and liberal and vocal and outgoing and she talks about racism and social stigmas a lot. Of course, because he's into journalism and communications.
Here's an example. Film critic Roger Ebert met his (black) wife Chaz at a restaurant. He'd found her attractive enough, but they really bonded over their love of "the classics" - classical music and opera and Shakespeare. These are the things that they discussed on their first dates, and the things they did - they saw "Tosca" as their first date. It facilitated conversations, allowed them to open up to each other about things, and helped transform that initial attraction into actual love. And no - I don't think that specific common ground was necessary. But they needed something that they shared to help things along. In this specific case, it was opera.
I didn't mention Roger Ebert and that his wife was black, (yes I knew his wife was black as well. You thought I didn't know that did you?)
I don't like Shakespeare. I think he's an asshole, and he was very sexist. Is the man a creative genius and artist? Yes he is, but I just don't care for him.
If I had someone close to me that wanted to go see a Shakespeare play, then I would just put my big boy pants on and go for the sake of that persons love.
On the flip side, I would like for things that my companion wouldn't like, to also be comfortable with as well.
So clearly Roger Ebert and that woman were meant to be together by mind, body, attraction and spirit.
So say if she wasn't into Shakespeare, would Roger Ebert move onto another woman just based on that? That could have been the woman he was meant to be with (it was), but I don't know.
Makes you think doesn't it? That's why I believe having things in common isn't necessarily always good to follow.
First off, a racist homophobe will not love you. Or, more accurately, a racist homophobe will need a shit-ton of reasons to get beyond your race and gender before he'll submit to loving you. He'l have to think 'despite him being black and being male, I still want to be with him'. And those reasons will almost certianly have to come from interacting with you...and, yes, finding common ground with you. Enough for him to rethink his racist and homophobic views.
I do agree that technically yes you're right. A man who's racist and/or homophobic (being that I'm black and gay), would not get into a relationship with me. But I'm saying is that I wouldn't care based on first impressions if that was the type of vibe I was getting from him.
If he were to get into a relationship with me, the no, technically, he would not be a racist or a homophobe at all. He might sadly still hold those beliefs and might make exceptions for me, possibly (not based on things on common) see something about me that changes his mind, (like the way I speak or the fact I'm gay etc.) things not commonly seen in someone black.
All I'm saying is that I don't look for things in common for a guy. I look for spiritual connection.
I don't look for face value trivial things, as just because that person also likes that, doesn't mean they are spiritually attracted to you for love.
And I'll just say that God ain't sending a man for you. And if you really believe He's going to, then you really don't have anything to worry about, do you? Just bide your time until God's guy for you shows up.
It's mean to be used as a spiritual metaphor. No god isn't going to fall a guy out of the sky for me, but I do believe love and romance is very spiritual. That's all I meant.
You are going to deal with compromise. With anybody you date. That's because we ARE different people. There's a saying - "there are those who sleep with the window closed, and those who sleep with the window open...and each other is who they marry". Note that there's no addendum there - "...unless you both like Steely Dan." Even if you both do, there WILL be other places where you don't agree, and where compromise is necessary.
So that's one thing we mutually agree on. Alright.
Precisely so.
And to those who have suggested I'm wasting my time by continuing to respond....if we two were in a room together, alone, then perhaps. But we're not.
Lex
No you're not wasting your time. I think you should think for yourself. If you still have faith in me and want to discuss things and be civil, that's fine. If you want to let other people influence you and dictate how you feel, which is the exact approach you're telling me to do, lol, then that's fine as well I suppose.
