The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    To register, turn off your VPN; you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • Hi Guest - Did you know?
    Hot Topics is a Safe for Work (SFW) forum.

On Topic Discussion Taralen's 2018 Random Musings About Life...

Status
Not open for further replies.
Re: Why is it hard for gay men to network?

You know what else makes it hard to network? Anxiety. Stuttering. Being ugly. Being too fat. Being too skinny. I hate to sound like one of those cheesy bosses at orientation but the key word there is WORK. It's not easy, it's not meant to be easy that's why it's work. If it was easy everyone would do it. You could do it in spite of being gay and black, but gosh then you'd have to find something else to whine about. :rolleyes:

This. Except I'd phrase it as "what makes for excuses to not network?"

The playing field is not level. Some have it easy. If you're not in that some, you have to change expectations, change your strategy, change your self, and change habits.

The world is out there. Join it.
 
Re: Can gay and straight men be friends?

No. A Friend is a strong word... they can be acquaintances but not real friends :cool:

11qj3c.jpg
 
Re: Why is the gay community not accepting of alternative lifestyles/personalities?

So all of that to you makes you a good person?

"Good" is subjective. It makes you smarter and broadens your horizons. What person wants to be dumb and with narrow horizons?

I'm not in the mood to learn a second language right now. I'm just not motivated.

Read your post comments, I had to reply something that would get me an infraction if I said it openly. "not in the mood to learn" is a euphemism for "I just don't feel like doing it." Which is ok, but just say that, put all the lipstick you want on that pig it's still swine.

I'm sorry this struck me as really spoiled American. Not in the mood to learn a new language? You literally increase your social power by however many people speak that language. And if you wanna trade places with someone from Chad or the Phillippines there are young brown men who will literally cut off their left testicle to have access to half the resources you have at your disposal-- even with the storm cloud over black gay American men, but I guess the difference would be "motivation."

A masters degree does not mean you're a smart person either.

Duh but on a resume stupid with a masters degree looks a lot better than stupid with a sparkling personality.

I'm kinda ghetto and black and feminine, but I'm into more bear and roughneck bigger type guys who don't like me.

Several things wrong here; I'm not even gonna touch this one with a ten-foot pole.

I would like to try other stuff, just I'm more comfortable around queer men, who don't' like me ass so you see why I"m in this infinite vortex?

Ummm, hello you're speaking to someone of the same race who grew up in the same country roughly the same time as you. Honestly I think you're afraid to take your happiness into your own hands and be responsible for it so it's easier to shift the blame to all these outside forces you can't control. Being black gay AND happy isn't impossible, admittedly difficult but not impossible.
 
Re: Why is the gay community not accepting of alternative lifestyles/personalities?

I also like guys into music I fucking hate. I can't stand fucking hard rock and metal music and all most emotional rock music. But if a guy I like is into that shit, then I don't care.

It's cool to be able to let your friends (and boyfriends) be interested in stuff you don't like. My boyfriend is a movie fanatic, and goes to the movies at least once a week. I'm down to one a year, and even sitting through a good movie that I'm interested in is a major chore for me. So he does his movies, I do my concerts, and we're both happy.

But that's secondary. In order to build the friendship (or boyfriendship), you'll need some common ground first. That can be similar senses of humor, similar backgrounds, or (yes) similar feelings about funk and disco records. :)

Lex
 
Re: Why is the gay community not accepting of alternative lifestyles/personalities?

I'm sorry this struck me as really spoiled American. Not in the mood to learn a new language? You literally increase your social power by however many people speak that language. And if you wanna trade places with someone from Chad or the Phillippines there are young brown men who will literally cut off their left testicle to have access to half the resources you have at your disposal-- even with the storm cloud over black gay American men, but I guess the difference would be "motivation."

It's not about trading places. Yeah I guess I should be thankful for what I have. But comparing my sad situation, to an even sadder situation, I don't think helps.

The only advantage I can think of (which nowadays fuck all that. We are going backwards) is this is supposedly a more open minded place? I don't know. Smh.

Several things wrong here; I'm not even gonna touch this one with a ten-foot pole.

Why not? Why won't you? I'm confused.
 
Re: Why is the gay community not accepting of alternative lifestyles/personalities?

It's cool to be able to let your friends (and boyfriends) be interested in stuff you don't like. My boyfriend is a movie fanatic, and goes to the movies at least once a week. I'm down to one a year, and even sitting through a good movie that I'm interested in is a major chore for me. So he does his movies, I do my concerts, and we're both happy.

But that's secondary. In order to build the friendship (or boyfriendship), you'll need some common ground first. That can be similar senses of humor, similar backgrounds, or (yes) similar feelings about funk and disco records. :)

Lex

Fuck all that.

To me being black and gay, I can't be picky like that. By coincidence if we both happen to like Seinfeld (which I don't like Seinfeld, it's a shitty show. But that's just an example) then so be it.

I actually find it kind of awkward when someone likes something I thought was special to me, unless under other circumstances.

I find it more cute when I'm into stuff he doesn't like, and vice versa. I'm into things or stuff he doesn't like.

I mean I'm kinda confused.

What if I don't want a guy who's the same as me? Then what.

Especially now that I have a type of guy I'm into the more bear and bigger roughneck type guys. I'm polar opposite of that being a gay black feminine guy.
 
Re: Why is it hard for gay men to network?

Maybe you're too busy looking for storm clouds, doom and gloom?

No I'm fucking not. I'm basing that off of guys on gay media sites, gay social media sites, gay porn sites, gay sex sites, gay relationship sites, gay dating sites, gay bars and clubs, gay pride events, gay gatherings, and being around gay neighborhoods (where I'm mingling with guys who I'm attracted to)

So yeah.
 
Re: Why is the gay community not accepting of alternative lifestyles/personalities?

Taralen said:
I also like guys into music I fucking hate. I can't stand fucking hard rock and metal music and all most emotional rock music. But if a guy I like is into that shit, then I don't care.
I like rock & metal, as well as pop, the various forms of techno/dance, and some country. (plus other things too)
If I had a friend who didn't like one of them, I just wouldn't play that one style when they were around...


G-Lexington said:
See, there we go. There's our common ground, where we might mesh. You come to Denver, come over and I'll break out my disco and funk 45s, or go to one of several funk and soul vinyl parties that I like going to..
People say bad things about disco, but I happen to like it too :)

Disco party at Lex's!...
Now where oh where did I put that little disco ball??
I can find the strobelight & 'color-organ' controller though :lol:
 
Re: Why is the gay community not accepting of alternative lifestyles/personalities?

Taralen said:
Fuck all that.
I really think you need to feel & say less of this and give a guy a chance.
(but how to actually go about changing your own internal/subconscious/etc feelings, that's something I don't know)
 
Re: Why is the gay community not accepting of alternative lifestyles/personalities?

I really think you need to feel & say less of this and give a guy a chance.
(but how to actually go about changing your own internal/subconscious/etc feelings, that's something I don't know)

I am giving a guy a chance.

I'm saying, if god blesses me with a man who seems to like everything I like, great, wonderful.

If he doesn't, nice, awesome, and to me it could be just as sexy.
 
Re: Why is the gay community not accepting of alternative lifestyles/personalities?

Is there anything you can't overcomplicate. I imagine your interactions going like this

Him: It's raining
You: Do you like rain?
Him: Uh, yeah, I guess it's cool
You: Well I used to but I don't anymore now that you do
Him: Uhhh ok
You: That's all you're going to say?
[blocked]

your blocked lists are probably 10 miles long.
 
Re: Why is it hard for gay men to network?

No I'm fucking not. I'm basing that off of guys on gay media sites, gay social media sites, gay porn sites, gay sex sites, gay relationship sites, gay dating sites, gay bars and clubs, gay pride events, gay gatherings, and being around gay neighborhoods (where I'm mingling with guys who I'm attracted to)

So yeah.

In my experience, that's not where you find gay couples, that's where you find one-night stands and guys who want a relationship but also wanna cheat on you incessantly with that get out of jail free "I'm damaged goods my daddy didn't stick around and some kid pushed me in the dirt in second grade so it's not my fault you should actually feel sorry for me" card.

Most of the couples I know, the older ones that have lasted longer than 3 or 4 years they're scarce on social media because they're too busy and it causes too much drama between friends, family and exes. The only couples I know who have a big social media presence are celebrities and 19 year olds.
 
Re: Why is it hard for gay men to network?

No I'm fucking not. I'm basing that off of guys on gay media sites, gay social media sites, gay porn sites, gay sex sites, gay relationship sites, gay dating sites, gay bars and clubs, gay pride events, gay gatherings, and being around gay neighborhoods (where I'm mingling with guys who I'm attracted to)

So yeah.


We're about the same age and what has worked for me is doing the things I like and connecting with others who do what I do. I'm a gym rat, so I've got that going and you might consider it. I meet up with guys and girls who like to ride and climb too. I'm bi, so I doubt that a long term relationship is sketchy for me. My advice is to do what you love to do with your eyes wide open. At the very least you'll be active and creative.
 
Re: Why is the gay community not accepting of alternative lifestyles/personalities?

Fuck all that. To me being black and gay, I can't be picky like that.

I find it more cute when I'm into stuff he doesn't like, and vice versa. I'm into things or stuff he doesn't like.

I mean I'm kinda confused.

...ya think?

I mean, first you say you "can't afford to be picky", but then state that you find it "more cute" when you don't have anything in common. Which means you're being picky.

Maybe you missed that whole part about me going to concerts while my boyfriend goes to movies. In other words, we're not the same. We're different.

But here's the thing. We do have things in common. And I think all boyfriends, and even just friends in general, do have common ground. No, they're not the same. But they have something they bond over. It can be music, or sports, or pop culture, or politics. It can be having similar senses of humor, or a similar viewpoint on life. But it's SOMETHING. Something they can say, hey, yes, me too, and share their common ground. And the common ground isn't something that's completely agreed upon. Even Star Wars geeks like to argue about their favorite movies with other Star Wars geeks. But they have similar interests and feelings that enable them to discuss this stuff in depth.

I really think you're making this stuff far more difficult than it needs to be.

Lex
 
Re: Why is the gay community not accepting of alternative lifestyles/personalities?

I really think you need to feel & say less of this and give a guy a chance.
(but how to actually go about changing your own internal/subconscious/etc feelings, that's something I don't know)

Oh, I know this one! He takes it upon himself to examine his own flawed thinking! And he starts by seeing a therapist and giving that therapist at least the same measure of authority that he gives himself if he cant spot the issues himself or take others opinions as credible probability.

In other words, it's up to him to admit the issues lie with himself. Until he does that, the endeavor is useless.
 
Re: Why is the gay community not accepting of alternative lifestyles/personalities?

...ya think?

I mean, first you say you "can't afford to be picky", but then state that you find it "more cute" when you don't have anything in common. Which means you're being picky.

Maybe you missed that whole part about me going to concerts while my boyfriend goes to movies. In other words, we're not the same. We're different.

But here's the thing. We do have things in common. And I think all boyfriends, and even just friends in general, do have common ground. No, they're not the same. But they have something they bond over. It can be music, or sports, or pop culture, or politics. It can be having similar senses of humor, or a similar viewpoint on life. But it's SOMETHING. Something they can say, hey, yes, me too, and share their common ground. And the common ground isn't something that's completely agreed upon. Even Star Wars geeks like to argue about their favorite movies with other Star Wars geeks. But they have similar interests and feelings that enable them to discuss this stuff in depth.

I really think you're making this stuff far more difficult than it needs to be.

Lex
Well, mundane things don't count.

Every gay man likes music (regardless if it's R&B or pop or mellow rock or electronic or dance or jazz or classical or reggae or Hip Hop or Hard rock or country or whatever)

Every gay man likes to watch movies. (regardless of the genre.)

Every gay man likes to eat food. (Doesn't matter what kind) etc.

So all of those things don't count.

I also don't feel you have to have anything in common for love. If you do have things in common (whether they are mundane or trivial or whatever. Such as the both of you have the same eye hue or stuff like that etc.) then that's good and okay, but it's whatever.

I look at George Lucas and his wife, that black woman he's with.

She has nothing in common with that man.

I'm not at into Star Wars or any of that shit. I mean I know all the characters and shit, but I hate, HATE Star Wars. I'm really not into a whole lot of science fiction stuff altogether really. But if my man was, I would find that so cute. I would support his fanatic in that stuff.

I'll use another example, the founder and CEO of reddit. He's married to Serena Williams.

They don't look like they have much in common either. So.

What I mean by I'm not picky, is I don't look for what we have in common.

I LOOK FOR PHYSICAL, MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL ATTRACTION.

All that shit about pop culture and trivial things I'm not too worried about.

He could be a fucking homophobic racist for all I care. I'm dead serious. I don't give a fuck. As long as he's not straight, he's not married, and he loves me and he's not hurting me or other people, and he's the man god sent for me. That's all I care about.

If the fact he likes Steely Dan (which I do) as well, that's a bonus. But if he doesn't like Steely Dan and likes Aerosmith (which I'm not really a fan of.) then oh well.

I find it more cute if he didn't, because that might be a way for me to deal with compromise.

Now does that mean I'm looking exclusively for situations like that? Hell no, but I'm saying it's just more interesting that way, and I'll take love as it comes.

To me I'm just a sponge, and I'll try to accept what he does, and hopefully he accepts what I do, for the sake of our love.
 
Re: Why is the gay community not accepting of alternative lifestyles/personalities?

Stop equivocating.

Start socializing.

Stop navel gazing.

Start living.

And get the counseling. You have proven you have no chance of fixing yourself. It will take a trained professional.
 
Re: Why is the gay community not accepting of alternative lifestyles/personalities?

So all these threads are just about you finding a boyfriend and arguing with every member on this board.

Do I have this right?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top