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On Topic Discussion Taralen's 2018 Random Musings About Life...

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Re: Should queer people be open at their workplace?

So you are stalking and hoping ... i get it lol

More like observing. You're like a tarantula with wings and fingers and fins and gills and only two big human eyes. Nothing about you makes the slightest sense. Fascinating.
 
Re: Why are straight people not interested in your personal life being gay?

You said I wasn't ready for a boyfriend, and if I have to live alone, I might as well die.

What planet are you on that doesn't have 6 billion other people on it? Irony is ironic.
 
Re: Is gay for pay porn damaging to the gay/queer male community?

I've talked to him about that here and on another forum. As a recovering word addict I try to explain to him that grammatical efficiency is an art form, learning to condense 6 paragraphs into 4 sentences can only improve your communication and increase your audience. But I'm not sure if he even wants an audience or is just talking "to himself" (working it out in his head but digitally)

This is important. It’s not that people can’t read this, is why should they when the points being made can be considerably condensed?
 
Re: Why are straight people not interested in your personal life being gay?

You said I wasn't ready for a boyfriend, and if I have to live alone, I might as well die.

I think the point here is that you should GET yourself ready for a boyfriend. I was stuck in Podunkville for eighteen months, where I joked the "gay nightlife" was someone playing "YMCA" on the jukebox while I had a drink at the one bar in town. But the time wasn't wasted. I spent the time working on myself to make myself a better overall person, so that once I rejoined civilization, I WAS ready for a boyfriend.

Lex
 
Re: Is gay for pay porn damaging to the gay/queer male community?

That's just not true. At all.

Has anybody ever said anything that is true? You've literally disagreed with every single thing I've ever seen anyone say to you.
 
Re: Should queer people be open at their workplace?

I tend to be considered out automatically, if only because I refuse to give up half my wardrobe. That said, I generally don't discuss my own sex life in casual conversation outside of specific groups or areas because of common courtesy; I give as much of a care about their life as they do about mine and really, no one wants to hear it. The exception to that is using past history in an example.

Well, yeah. I was "out" because I introduced the guy who kept coming in to pick me up from work as my boyfriend. I didn't explain which of us was the top or anything.

Lex
 
Re: Should queer people be open at their workplace?

Well, yeah. I was "out" because I introduced the guy who kept coming in to pick me up from work as my boyfriend. I didn't explain which of us was the top or anything.

Lex

This is what I was talking about. Appropriate and entirely acceptable. Author never explained to me what he meant by open. For people his age that usually means giggle giggle inappropriate overly sexual conversations with a list of details about their previous night's hookup.

I've been out since I entered the workforce, never hid, but I didn't discuss my sex life.
 
Re: Should queer people be open at their workplace?

Well, yeah. I was "out" because I introduced the guy who kept coming in to pick me up from work as my boyfriend. I didn't explain which of us was the top or anything.

Lex

Oh, I understand completely. Works fine for casual reassurance and explanation of events. But what the OP typed what this;


I feel (if you work in an open minded arena, and live in an open minded area) you should most definitely at some point whether it's verbally, non verbally, interpersonally, showing hints etc. Tell your coworkers and company of your sexuality.


And I don't generally go for 'mandatory 'accountability' of that nature. Straight people don't have to. No one gives a shit if Bob down the hall doesn't regale us with his fifth ex girlfriend of the year maudlin tale, so why should I be forced to the lecturn, is what I figure.
 
Re: Should queer people be open at their workplace?

My basic feeling is that I should be on the same level as my co-workers. They might mention a new girlfriend, or that they got married, or maybe even that they had a "hot date" coming up - that last one seems to be right about the borderline of appropriate. So I figure I can do the same.

Lex
 
Re: Is gay for pay porn damaging to the gay/queer male community?

I care as much about this as I do about the unrealistic depiction of women in comic books. To wit, it may be a problem, but as somebody who doesn't consume the material, I don't feel very qualified to weigh in.

Lex
 
Re: Should queer people be open at their workplace?

More like observing. You're like a tarantula with wings and fingers and fins and gills and only two big human eyes. Nothing about you makes the slightest sense. Fascinating.

What changed you
from rolling on your belly a lot to the nasty queen ?
 
Re: Should queer people be open at their workplace?

My basic feeling is that I should be on the same level as my co-workers. They might mention a new girlfriend, or that they got married, or maybe even that they had a "hot date" coming up - that last one seems to be right about the borderline of appropriate. So I figure I can do the same.

Lex

Mostly I'm whinging because I usually sound awkward. The last 'what were your holiday plans', with an answer of 'He's pagan and I'm not religious, we prefer staying home" (not the exact wording, close enough. I did try and use a cheerful tone), had at least 4 coworkers going awkwardly silent and then one bravely rushed in to save them all from that quiet, brain scrabbling moment with "Some of the decorations of Christmas were definitely repurposed, you know." She tried, lovely woman. What I'm saying is, if there's any way to either phrase something badly or have the wrong emotional tone, I'll stumble into 'em on the regular at least 50% of the time.
 
Re: Is having a racial/body/personality preference preference okay?

I see having personal preferences for certain types/personalities/looks on guys (or girls for that matter) as perfectly ok.
Infact 'ok' really isn't the right word, its moreso IMO some wired-in part of human nature.
 
Re: Should queer people be open at their workplace?

So less a matter of decorum and more a matter of saving yourself from slipping into the quicksand. Got it. :)

Lex
 
Re: Should LGBT/queer teachers be open to their students?

I figured he's been thinking of someone in particular. But just in case I'm right, I want to be clear that I don't want details of past suspected woes.

Yes you caught me.

I've been bullied throughout my school year. I've also had special relationships with several different teachers. But with this situation in particular. Hmm.

I actually have. He was my 6th grade world history/social studies teacher. I had him last period, everyday. From the end of lunch which lunch was quarter past 12, (sometimes if he wasn't a jerk he would let us eat lunch in his class) which was 1, to quarter past 3, which was when school got out. So for damn near over two hours I interacted with him everyday.

I'm gonna call him Mr. Marshall.

This was in LA mind you. Los Angeles School District smh.

The classrooms were also gender segregated. The only thing that was segregated was lunch and gym. So it was all male or all female classes. But the teachers could be any gender.

He was this older white guy who looked like Tom Arnold kind of.

I remember he was kinda strict and stuff.

I was bullied by the other boys in the class, both for racial and homphobic reasons. I was called a faggot Steve Urkel. All types of shit.

I remember Mr. Marshall would read out notes the other bullies were passing around that said, "Taralen is a sick faggot bitch who just wants dick.", and thought that shit was funny. This was the teacher. Smh.

I remember like towards end of the school year, some boys were passing out a porn magazine in class, (why the porn magazine was 95% homoerotic and naked men posing, I don't know lol) and Mr. Marshall asked who the porn magazine belonged to. I took the rat, because I was a stupid kid like that always being the whipping boy, and said it was my magazine that I stole from my dads sock drawer.

I remember he not only looked at me and laughed and had this derpy look like "I'm not surprised, you're the guilty one", but I didn't get in trouble at all, at least I don't remember, and he confiscated the magazine and locked it up in a cupboard behind his desk.

One day, I waited and waited for my guardian at the time (my mother sadly passed away during this time, I was staying with my guardian) to take me home from school and after twenty minutes they didn't show up. So I decided to go to Mr. Marshall and ask to use his phone to see what's going on. (This was before cell phones and all that.) It turns out my guardian was tied up at work and won't be able to pick me up for a while. So I asked Mr. Marshall if it was okay that I could wait in his classroom. He said it was, so I began to do some Sudoku puzzles I think.

All of a sudden his partner looking straight up like Harvey Fierstein, came in the class, and no they didn't hug or kiss or show any PDA, but it was very obvious this was his boyfriend, based on what they were talking about, and how camp this guy was. Lord Jesus. I'm not gonna go into full details though.

Also some of the other boys in the class, there were rumors that he was homosexual, but you know how boys are.

Anyways, I just feel if he were more open, I would have been more comfortable with him. All the times I was bullied in his class, it would have been nice if he stood up for me.

The issue is, that you're putting a sexual theme to it. Which no is not okay.

I have another situation, I talked about it in this thread.
http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thr...ot-interested-in-your-personal-life-being-gay

I also posted about this on reddit, and got so much shit on it.

My Elementary School Principal.

He was this big chubby obese John Candy looking man. I'll call him Mr. Lindy (that may or may not be his real name.)

He was married and had a son in High School. Before people start. Ugh.

Again, this was an inner city school. Segregated school.

We were bad Bay Bay kids.

I remember I would cuss my teachers out, because they were all old hags and needed to get laid. They would write me demerit slips and shit, and send me to his office. Mr. Lindy would totally understand where I was coming home, and he was really chill and cool and he would just rip those slips up and say they are just bitter old women, and troll with me and the other boys in the school all the time, instead of punishing me.

He was really surprisingly into hip hop/rap and urban music. He liked Prince and Michael Jackson and Eminem a lot lol. He would always be playing it in his office. He even knew a lot of urban and street slang, like due to how he grew up and stuff. He had a lot of swagger to him that was natural for a white fat principal. lol.

At most he would make me staple papers in his office, as that really wasn't a punishment, as I liked being around him.

He would be at the playground acting like a bouncer/security guard kind of, and if I was feeling shitty, I would just go up and give him a bear hug and he wouldn't mind.

I remember I would eat lunch in his office sometimes. I know at least twice he took me to Wendy's and McDonalds and stuff for lunch.

I just liked his company.

Towards the end of my 5th grade school year, the district wanted to do something nice for underprivileged kids, so they arranged a trip to the Angeles National Forest for us to go camping and do their outdoor school program.

We would be in these makeshift bungalows in the woods, that only had one electrical socket, and a makeshift bathroom and shower attached at the end of the bungalows.

Each of the boys in the school had a chaperone in the bungalows. The chaperones were all random, but they were other male teachers and staff members, I think the janitors and custodians were also chaperones as well.

Just as luck may have it, me and seven other boys got Mr. Lindy as our chaperone. I felt so lucky.

Being that we were inner city Bay Bay kids, we weren't interested in the outdoor activities they had, and it was kinda bad weather as well. It was raining. We were kinda bored in the cabin.

But I remember Mr. Lindy brought snacks and food and board games for us to play. (I don't know how the fuck he did it,) he managed to sneak in a projector and some DVD's. The DVD's he brought were also R rated hood movies like Chucky 1 2 and 3, Rush Hour, Money Talks, Eddie Murphy's Nutty Professor and shit like that. Wow.

He was really nice, and I miss him.

But I remember people on reddit were saying all types of sexual connotations and shit. Like WTF? Whoa, hold the phone. Like why are you putting that kinda spin on it?

But sadly, I see how even in that aspect, we have to play it safe, and it sucks. But oh well.

I hope that helps any.
 
Re: Is having a racial/body/personality preference preference okay?

It makes perfect sense, you hate yourself so of course you aren't going to be attracted to those who look like you. White/light-skinned guys/guys who don't "look traditionally black" attract you because in your head if you can secure one it will legitimize your existence because the guy from the next totem up came down and chose you.

See now you're fucking things up even further.

Why is it self hate, If I'm not attracted/am attracted to something?

I'm not attracted to 50 Cent. I'm just not. We have the same complexion yes, but I'm just not attracted to him.

I'm attracted to Action Bronson though. The fact he's still more urban but fair is dismissive. It really is. I'm just attracted to him.

That's just how my brain is. It doesn't mean I hate 50 Cent or want some type of validation. I don't.

I just like what i like.
 
Re: Is having a racial/body/personality preference preference okay?

I think shitloads of guys are hot. No idea about names because I’m shit with celebrities. I like tall guys so I would maybe do better in the Netherlands than in the Philippines. I can barely call that a preference though because it changes based on the guy. Also I have a guard time understanding guys who never find anyone short hot even if they usually like tall guys. Have a hard time understanding guys who never find anyone with a beard hot when they usually like smooth guys. Etc. Really? Never??
 
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