Chapter 638 – A Very Strange Visit
Having had an enjoyable, informative evening with Cal, he was dressed and ready to leave us finally. We almost hated for him to go, accepting him as one of us, we felt so comfortable with him around. Not only that, but we felt like we had someone that was actually doing something to help bring these evil bastards to justice. Before, we just heard others were investigating, but now we knew some of what was going on and the characters they were looking at. I felt more comfortable that progress was being made now, which I hadn’t before. Conner had told us to be patient. Conner had told us to stay the hell out of it and let the DEA do their work. Now there was a murder surrounding all of this, related we all felt somehow. That hit close to home with Conner so maybe he wouldn’t be as patient now as he asked us to be. He was now on the receiving end of being asked to be patient. I was sure he wouldn’t like that at all.
“Hey, it’s been great guys. You guys are the best, and we’ll be seeing more of each other in the future,” Cal said, as he gave Jake and I both a big hug, like we were really close friends. “I’ll meet you here at the bar on Friday nigh,t and you guys can clue me in on what and where. We’ll make it work, I can promise you that,” Cal assured us, then took off. I had to go unlock the front door to let him out, as the bar was closed now. “Didn’t realize it was that late. Hope I didn’t keep you guys up too late,” Cal apologized.
“No you didn’t, as every minute was great tonight. I feel so much better about things now that we know you’re involved, Cal. I mean that sincerely. Every minute tonight was well worth it,” I told him, as I unlocked the door to let him out. “Oh, I do have one final question that’s been bugging me since it was brought up,” I told him, causing him to pause as he was about to exit the door.
“What’s that, Josh?” he asked, as he paused.
“You mentioned that you had a confidential informant, then you changed that to you HAD a confidential informant. Did that possibly have anything to do with Harold’s murder? Was he the confidential informant?” I asked. Cal gave me a worried look.
“You know I can’t discuss the details of an open and ongoing investigation, Josh. All I can say is that it’s a damn shame, and that’s all I’m going to say,” Cal said, then patted me on my shoulders and took off, waving goodbye to me, never looking back. He told me what I wanted to know without telling me. I was pissed now more than ever. I was really pissed for Conner’s sake.
Jake saw the worried look on my face as I joined him in the bedroom and stripped off my shorts I’d slipped on to let Cal out. “What, Josh. What’s bothering you?” he asked. I told him what I asked Cal about the CI and what his answer was. “Well he didn’t say he was, but it kind of sounded like he told you. Wow, that’s horrible. Here’s Conner, thinking the guy was a no good so and so anyway, but he didn’t deserve to die the way he did. Now, it looks like this Harold was actually doing something good for once, and it cost him his life in the most brutal way. That sucks. That really sucks!” Jake said, getting as shook up about it as I was. We both sat down together on the bed and hugged one another.
“We can’t tell Conner, Jake. We don’t know for sure, but it seems like Cal knows and they’re not telling the other agencies, or if they did, we don’t know about it yet. Best we keep this to ourselves anyway, as to not get Cal implicated in any of the local stuff. Besides if we go telling people, he’ll never share anything confidential again. I believe he was testing all of us tonight. He told me when we were tending bar, that he liked to fit in with those that were involved in things so as to help him figure out the dynamics of who the players were and who he could trust and not trust. I told him then I believed he had a reason for being here with us tonight and hanging out. He smiled at me and told me there was a reason for everything, and not to kid myself into thinking there wasn’t. This whole evening he was working us, gathering intel on who the players were and are. He asked a lot of questions about everyone, more or less seemingly curiosity, but I’m telling you he has a much better idea of who we are and who we all are up against. I feel like I want to trust him as he comes across so sincere, but then you never know if he’s playing us or not. As long as he gets helpful information, I guess it doesn’t really matter as none of us have done anything wrong, and if he’s in the thick of this investigation, I want access to him and his intel, if he’ll share. I might be wrong, but I’ll almost bet you he’ll be here for Gay Night this week to see who all shows up here for that. What do you bet?” I asked Jake.
“You might have something, Babe. He did ask a lot of questions, but he did seem sincere in his answers and his willingness to help also. I mean you can’t help but like him. Hell, he even showed us what he looked like naked, not having any inhibitions about sharing himself naked with us,” Jake replied, carefully thinking things over.
“What better way to make friends with gay guys than to show off a hot naked body to them. I mean all sense of reason leaves a gay guy’s head, when a hot stud gets naked and asks you to look at him. I have to admit, that was a great way to make friends in this group,” I replied, half chuckling. Jake chuckled also, saying we were helpless in that respect.
“Are you as worn out as I am?” Jake asked. I looked at him and kissed him as we fell back naked on the bed together and cuddled. “Tonight was intense to say the least, but it was good in many ways. We’ve got Cal on our side now, which makes me feel much better about Friday night, and I know you do because of that,” Jake remarked.
“So much better. If anything gets out of hand, Cal can be in there in no time and get the bastard. Might break up their little sex party, but we’d have Kenny for sure,” I replied. I swear we literally fell asleep in each other’s arms right after I said that.
I had forgotten Jules was still here when we he happened to join us in the showers Thursday morning. Zach and Brady were there with Jake and me. “Well, don’t you guys look all hot and sexy this morning,” Jules commented, as he jumped right in there with us, bumping his ass up against us, causing us to give him space.
“You get enough sex last night with Dylan and Garth?” I asked, remembering all too well removing the cockring he was wearing and getting his cum all over my hands in the process.
“Yeh, but I could always use more. You guys up for some this morning. I can bend over right here, and you can drive me home,” Jules volunteered. I rolled my eyes.
“Sorry, we have school this morning, and don’t you have work to do anyway?” I asked.
“Hey, my boss knows I’m working for you, but I can do more than just work for you. This dick or ass is at your service anytime you want it,” Jules offered.
“Jules, relationships are not all about sex. Sex is something very intimate for most of us here, not just something you do on the spur of the moment. I know you have fun with Dylan and Garth and they seem to have some fun with you, but Jake and I aren’t like that. We have to really care about a friend to have sex with them. You’re a business associate, not a really close friend. Sorry, but it’s just that way,” I told him, trying to get him to realize dicks and asses weren’t the end all in relationships. Jules looked disappointed.
“Josh, I’m really going out of my way to help you guys with this investigation thing. Do you really think I like going to Chicago and meeting with Conrad, knowing if I screw up one little bit, I could possibly be abducted and disappear forever? This isn’t a fun thing I’m doing. It’s stressful as hell, but I do it for you guys because I care about what you guys care about. But, I guess you really don’t care about me that much and the fact that I care,” Jules replied, somewhat disappointed. Against my better judgement, I gave him a hug, which gave him a boner.
“Jules, we all really appreciate what you’re doing, and we do care that you care. That’s a relationship built on respect and admiration, not on sex. We do appreciate what you’re doing, but if you’re doing it thinking this is going to get you in bed with a lot of us and we’re going to love you forever, that’s not the right reasons. Do it because you think you can accomplish something great, or don’t do it at all. In fact, maybe we should just end this right now and not take it to the next step. If you’re concerned about going back again for another meeting, then we’ll just pass on it. We don’t have to do it. Let the Feds and AG’s office do their own investigation. Fuck it, we don’t need the aggravation,” I told him. He looked disappointed.
“I liked the hug. I think that’s the first time you’ve ever hugged me, Josh. That means a lot, believe me. I see you hug everyone else, but I never got a hug before,” he said, somewhat making me feel a little guilty, but after all, he got a naked hug this time and our dicks touched, unfortunately, so he should feel special in a way. “I want to do this thing for you guys, to prove to you I’m a team player. I can do what you send me to do. Gees, I just hope I can at least gain some points doing this undercover stuff for you. I so want to be a supporter of what you guys are trying to do, and demonstrate I have worth that you can use. I want to be more than just a business associate. You guys are all so close, and I’d really like to be part of that closeness. From what Will tells me, I try too hard and I don’t appear genuine, but more like an outsider that wants in too bad. I don’t want to appear to be that guy, and maybe it’s the way I express myself that’s my problem. I genuinely care about you guys and I just want to fit in, I guess you could say. I desperately want that closeness that all you guys have. I’ve never had that in my life, and from what I see in you guys, it’s a wonderful thing being a part of a loving, caring, group of guys. Just tell me what I need to do, and I’ll do it to belong. I really want you guys to like me and care about me like you do each other. That would mean more to me than any amount of money I could make working for you guys, setting up financing. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve done well, but all I have to show for all of that is a thank you and a salary. I desperately want to be cared about like the rest of your guys,” Jules told us. Damn, he always had a way of making me feel guilty that we didn’t show him enough consideration. I was so torn over him. Will says he’s a jerk, but then he makes me feel sorry for him. Jake was sensing that as well. I really didn’t know how to handle him.
“Jules, the more we work together for the right reasons, the more respect we’ll have for you. Genuine respect grows relationships and caring can follow if the character is there for the right reasons. You have to prove yourself, is what I’m saying. I always get the feeling you’re playing some kind of angle with us. Doing that for our behalf of getting us the best deals out there is fine. But, playing angles with us, to get something is not fine. We’re open and honest with each other and respect one another for that. We support one another without having to be asked. Maybe you try to hard, but we’re never sure what angle you’re playing which makes us suspicious of you. We shouldn’t feel that way, but we do. I’m sorry we feel that way, but we just do. Will felt it also. He tried to get you to change, but you couldn’t. He gave up on you. We haven’t given up on you, but sometimes you promote that thought, if you know what I mean. We’d like to care about you, but you kind of make it difficult at times,” I told him. Now, he looked hurt. But here again, I didn’t know if he was really hurt or just acting like he was.
“Would you be sad if something happened to me when I was trying to do this deal for you?” he asked.
“Of course I would, Jules. Definitely, we all would. We wouldn’t want anything to happen to you. You don’t deserve anything bad happening to you,” I told him.
“So, you do care,” he replied.
“Well, yes, we do care about you as a person and friend, but not as a lover, someone to take to bed because we just can’t keep our hands off of you. It doesn’t work that way,” I explained. He looked like he felt better, having heard that we’d feel bad if something happened to him. I could tell he was still disappointed we didn’t want to sleep with him.
“Some day maybe you’ll find a way to love me like the rest of your friends,” he replied. I felt bad for him again, but wasn’t sure what to tell him.
“I honestly hope I do, Jules, but it will be for the right reasons and you’ll have earned that love,” I replied and patted him on his shoulders. To my surprise he patted me on my ass. I gave him a crazy look.
“Hey, just trying to earn my way here,” he chided. I shook my head as Jake and I got out to dry off. I was hoping Jules would be gone soon. He was in his briefs when he came into the kitchen for coffee. I actually poured him a cup, which he thanked me for. I told him there was cereal also if he was hungry.
“How is Will these days? I actually did love him, you know,” Jules said, making conversation.
“Will is doing great, Jules. He’s very challenged and loves what he’s doing. Not to make you feel bad, but he has a great boyfriend, someone Jake and I both knew before and deeply care about,” I replied.
“You see, if he’d given me the chance to get to know you guys, you might have cared about me too, but he was so stubborn, not wanting me anywhere near you guys. He wouldn’t share. He kept you for himself, the selfish prick,” Jules replied, somewhat pissing me off.
“Easy there, Jules. You’re someone I don’t love, talking bad about someone I do love. That’s not the way to make me respect you at all. You just lost some major points there,” I replied, letting him know his comment pissed me off. He hung his head a little.
“Sorry, Josh. I really didn’t mean to say that. After all, I really did love him, and hell, I still do. There’s no one like him. I can’t find anyone to date that comes anywhere near who Will is. They just don’t exist,” Jules told me in the form of an apology.
“To fetch a great guy, you need to be a great guy, Jules. You need to work on that part. Not saying you can’t achieve that, but it’s going to take some work and an earnest desire to be honest and thoughtful to others. You need to work on your character more than anything,” I told him. He still looked somewhat confused.
“I think I have a decent body and all. How’d my dick feel when you took the cock ring off my dick and balls last night?” Jules asked, with Jake looking surprised.
“Jules, there is nothing wrong with your looks or your body. It’s your heart and the way you interact with other people. That you need to work on,” I assured him.
“So, you liked my dick and balls then?” he asked, anxious to hear me say something nice about his junk and the rest of his body.
“If I can’t get past your personality, you could be the hottest guy on earth with a dick and balls that made my dick hard and leaking precum, but I wouldn’t notice because of how you acted and treated other people. Your junk is irrelevant to me until I can like you more,” I replied.
“Damn, you’re tough to get to really know,” Jules replied.
“No, he surrounds himself with people like him, that he can trust and care about, Jules, Will being one of them. You don’t fit in because you’re self-absorbed and fake. You have to be genuine and caring for Josh to even notice you,” Jake said, coming to my defense. Jules did stop and think about it some.
“Okay, so I have my work cut out for me. At least we got to be naked together in the shower, and you did feel me off last night when you took off that cockring, so I guess we are making some kind of progress,” he stated, taking a sip of his coffee.
“Well, I’m glad you think so, Jules, but I wouldn’t get too excited about it too quick, as you have a long way to go, trust me on that,” I replied.
“If I get you everything you want for the FBI and AG’s office, will you like me better then?” he asked.
“I like you now, and yes, I’ll appreciate what you are able to achieve, but that doesn’t make me love you. I’m beginning to wonder if you totally understand what love really is, Jules. You need a lot of work in that area, trust me,” I replied.
“Well, maybe if I could hang around you more often, I might learn more about how to really care about other people and earn their respect and love,” Jules said, drinking down the last of his coffee. I rolled my eyes.
“If you don’t have a basic understanding of what that is by now, I’m not sure that’s something I can ever teach you, buddy. But, keep on trying anyway. You’ve got a lot of work to do and right now, Jake and I have to go to class. See you when we see you,” I told him, then grabbed my backpack, as did Jake.
“What no going away hug? I might get killed in Chicago and never see you again,” he said, somewhat distraught. I shrugged my shoulders then gave him a hug with my backpack on, his arms wrapped around me below my backpack which caught my ass. He knew what he was doing. “You really do have a nice ass, Josh. You really do. Jake has a nice one too. I’ve got to get you to love me so we can explore those asses better,” he stated.
“Bye, Jules. Have a safe trip,” I said, as Jake and I walked out the door to go to class.
“He doesn’t have a clue how to be a normal caring friend,” I told Jake. Jake totally agreed.
Jake reminded me that we had Brady’s tennis match to go to this evening. He said he thought it started at 7:30. I told him that shouldn’t be a problem, as we didn’t have anything else going on tonight, thankfully. Jake said he was kind of excited to see Brady play, as Zach said he was one hell of a tennis player. He was one of the starters, playing singles matches and teaming up for doubles with one of the other players. I told Jake, it should be interesting to watch, and we definitely had to cheer him on.
At lunch, I was happy to see that Jules had finally departed. Will gave me shit about putting up with Jules’ shit. I had to chuckle about that, telling him that Jules asked me if I’d be sad if something happened to him doing our bidding in Chicago. Will wanted to know how I responded to that. I told Will, that I would be sad about any of us getting hurt, especially when he was going out of his way to help us.
“Don’t fall too hard for that crap, Josh. He wants you to feel like you’re using him, and he deserves more respect and love. He’s trying to guilt you into loving him. I swear that asshole will do anything for attention and love, except for being a genuine, caring human being. He’s nuts,” Will said.
“He is definitely manipulative. You have to stay a couple of steps ahead of him for sure. He could wear me out being around him for too long. I don’t know how you put up with him as long as you did,” I replied.
“I gave him the benefit of the doubt for way too long, and I was lonely also. He was so sweet, kind and loving at the beginning of our relationship, and the sex was really hot. That boy knows how to make a guy happy, that’s for sure. But, that hot sex comes with a high price tag of putting up with his bullshit. Finally, the bullshit won out over the hot sex, and I had to call it quits,” Will replied. I told him I could definitely see that. “So, did he behave on his sleepover. Tell me you didn’t do anything sexually with him, please,” Will begged. I told him I got a handful of Jules’ cum, and my hands all over his cum slicked balls and cock last night. Will had a look of horror on his face, not understanding that at all. Then I told him about taking the FBI’s cockring off of him to try it on Clay. I explained to the group what we were going to do on Friday night, but that Cal was going to direct the operation. Jordan and Nate were greatly relieved, saying we needed to be careful. I told them all about the way the cockring worked and how Jules put his foot in his mouth talking to us after their meeting, as we were having a beer, and him saying how he’d love to have Cal pound out his ass, then how Cal heard all of that with the listening device. Nate, Ken, Buzz and Jordan about split a gut. Will said it was par for the course with Jules. Anything weird was almost certain.
“Well the boy was embarrassed to say the least when Tomkins and Callihan came into the bar and recited everything Jules had just told us. He was quite embarrassed,” I informed them.
“Well, he deserved it for being so crass,” Will replied.
“Jordan, did you guys move into your new house yet and forget to tell us?” I asked him.
“Little by little furniture is being delivered. We were too busy moving into the offices last weekend, and didn’t have time to move into the house, plus all the furniture we bought hasn’t arrived yet. We’ve been spending some time in the evenings arranging things and bringing over some personal stuff. Buzz has been putting the kitchen stuff together, plates, eating utensils, pots and pans, not that we cook that much, but we need snack trays and some basic stuff to have to eat. Oh, and we got the refrigerator already. I swear the damn thing does everything except hand you a cold beer. It’s a smart refrigerator. You can talk to it even. Go figure,” Jordan explained.
“Did you move in your bikini underwear yet? Got plenty of space for all your colors?” I teased. Jordan shook his head at me, as if I shouldn’t be talking about his bikini underwear. He looked a little embarrassed.
“Buzz likes my underwear, I’ll have you know,” Jordan let me know. I chuckled. Cam said, TMI. Will was intrigued.
“It’s the red ones you have to look out for. Does Buzz know that?” I had to ask.
“Buzz tells me when to wear them. If he’s feeling horny, then he has me wear the red ones. I swear they give my dick extra energy to take him on,” Jordan boasted. I think we all got a good laugh out of that one. “We did go skinny dipping in our pool already. Part of it is outside and part inside, so you can use it all year round. We kind of initiated it the other night. Kind of fun to fuck in the pool,” Jordan bragged.
“You didn’t cum in it, did you?” I asked. Jordan and Buzz just smiled. “Oh no. Well, I guess we can’t go swimming in their dirty pool now, guys,” I joked.
“And when did a little cum ever stop you, Josh. Shit, you drink the stuff,” Jordan teased. He had a point. We all decided it would probably be okay since he had a great filtration system and a salt water pool. We all got invited over for a swim party some evening, but we had to swim naked, according to Jordan, and he wasn’t going to be responsible if something sexually happened. I asked Buzz how he felt about that. He said he was all for it. I was amazed, asking him if he invited his sister, brother-in-law and nephews to go skinny dipping with them. “Now, get real, Josh. I think that’s just a limited audience thing, not for the general family,” Jordan hastily told me.
After much teasing at lunch, we finally had to get on with the afternoon. Steve was Steve in Real Estate, and still anxious to get to Key West for some R&R, wanting to know if a couple of weeks into the summer was good for us. I told him anytime we weren’t going to be there was fine as far as I was concerned. He told Blake and me that he thought us being there with him might be kind of fun. I told him I didn’t think so.
When we were getting naked at the lockers for swim practice, I asked Ethan if they went out with their girlfriends last night again or told them goodbye for good. He chuckled. “Dustin and I went to their apartment with them, and the first thing they wanted to do was to fuck. There we were, buck naked, all four of us on the floor doing some foreplay stuff, them trying to suck cock and us kissing some titty. Then the bitch starts telling me what I should do and how I should do it. I told her that was it, because she couldn’t suck cock for shit, so what right did she have telling me how to fuck. Then Dustin says, here, Linda, I’m going to show you the proper way to suck a dick, and he goes down on me. The two girls gasp, but then they get real interested, like they kind of enjoyed watching Dustin suck my cock. So, I swing around and suck him off, and we’re going at it hot and heavy 69’ing one another. They really get into watching and even rubbing each other’s titties and each other’s clits. I had to admit, that part was kind of hot. I thought so, but Dustin thought it was gross. Then we really got into it, eating each other’s asses and sucking on each other’s balls. They kind of went wild when we started that. Then Dustin says, what the fuck and whirls me around, throws my legs up on his shoulders, spits on his cock and shoves it up my ass. Well, you should have heard them gasp then. One of them made the statement, it didn’t seem like we needed them to fuck when we had each other. I wanted to say, that’s the damn truth, but I was enjoying the hell out of Dustin fucking my ass at the time. I thought they were really going to puke, when I shot my load all over my stomach, then Dustin pulled out and shot his load on me. Then we picked up our cum and fed it to one another. That really got to them, although one of the bitches orgasmed when that happened. Go figure,” Ethan explained. We all couldn’t believe it. “So the bitch asks if we’re straight, gay or bi. I told her we fuck anything that moves. That actually got them excited. They wanted to know if we could go another round with them this time. We both told them we thought we were done for the night, as we wore ourselves out, our balls all sweaty and everything. I still had some cum in my pubes and all, which they thought was gross. Go figure. So because we wouldn’t fuck them, we got yelled at as being selfish. It’ll be interesting to see if they show up on Ladies’ Night anymore. But Dustin’s bitch did orgasm watching us behave poorly,” Ethan joked.
We couldn’t believe he did that, but he seemed awfully proud of the fact he and Dustin made love right in front of them, showing them what it was like for two guys to really be into one another. Ethan said it was kind of hot having two naked girls watch he and Dustin fuck. I still couldn’t believe the two did it in front of their women, but Ethan said he’d had the shits of Linda telling him what to do.
Drew reminded us about the tryouts tomorrow afternoon for swimming candidates for next year. I told Zach, we’d put Colt to the test and just see how good he was. Zach said he thought he had potential, possibly in more ways than one. I told Zach, while Colt seemed nice enough, we didn’t need to scare him. He needed a chance to get used to us and sign up before he found out we liked him in more ways than one. Zach thought that was only fair, although he believed Colt would have a hard time not loving us, because of the great guys we were. We had to laugh about that.
I was thinking about the tennis match tonight at the Pavilion, and getting the chance to see Brady play his sport. Most of the matches he’d had to date were at odd times where we didn’t often get an opportunity to go and watch him play. It was kind of exciting to have that opportunity tonight anyway. Dave, Chase and Caleb said they’d be there. I think Andy and Trevor were planning on going. Obviously, Kyle, Blake, Jake and I were going. I thought maybe even Will might come, and it might possibly be an opportunity for Forest to join us also, since it was a sanctioned sport event of the university. Maybe Will could talk him into it.
As we walked back to the bar after swim practice, I got a call. It surprised me to see who was calling me, making me wonder what was up. For a second, I was concerned something might have happened to one of my friends. It was Tink and Tyler’s father of all people, calling me for who knew what. “Hello, Mr. Hathaway?” I asked. “No, it’s not a bad time, what can I do for you, sir?” I asked. “You want to meet with me tonight? You’re flying into Uni on your jet on the way home and you want to talk to me?” I asked. “Uh, 6:30 at the airport. Okay. Anything I need to prepare for that you might need?” I asked, as I listened to him tell me he just needed to talk to me about something personal. “Do you want me to bring Tink and Tyler with me to see you?” I asked. He told me he didn’t, and not to tell them I was meeting with him. That surprised me, which made me think maybe he wasn’t as comfortable with Tink coming out of the closet as we all thought. “Okay, I’ll keep it between the two of us until I find out how I can be of help,” I told him. He thanked me, saying he’d see me at the airport at 6:30. Now I was really curious as to what he needed my help with. I had the upmost respect for the man, but I was feeling a little underqualified to possibly help him, and a little intimidated about meeting with him one on one. I mean, this was an industry giant, someone not very approachable for the majority of people, but also the father of two of my best friends. Could this be about business of some sort, but then he said it was personal. I was more confused and a little apprehensive at the same time, about meeting with him one on one. He asked me not to tell anyone about our meeting. Still, I had to share this with Jake at least.
Zach asked me what that was all about. I told him it was just someone that I had spoken to before about something and he wanted additional information. Zach told me I never got to rest, with all these investigations going on and my involvement in them. I figured he thought it was the AG’s office or FBI. I was really stumped as to what Milton’s visit could possibly be about that he’d drop into Uni on his way back from another business meeting somewhere. I was more curious than ever now. Why didn’t he want to see his sons also? I figured this had to have something to do with Tink for sure. I hated the thought he might not be as accepting as we first thought. But then Tink’s mother was. I knew this would drive me crazy until I finally found out what he wanted.
Will, Blake, Kyle, Jake and I sat down for a beer and some food early because of the tennis match tonight, wanting to make sure we got done in time to get there in plenty of time. I grabbed Jake and told him about my mysterious phone call from Milton Hathaway. Jake was just as blown away by his call as I was.
“You have any earthly idea as to what he wants?” Jake asked, curiously.
“Not a clue, but he said it was personal. He needed my help with something personal. Jake, it has to have something to do with Tink, I could almost bet on it,” I replied.
“Shit, does that mean, Tink’s not out of the woods on this thing, thinking he didn’t destroy his family ties and was still loved and accepted by them?” Jake asked. I shrugged my shoulders.” "You okay with meeting with him by yourself?” Jake asked. I half chuckled.
“Yeh, sure, why?” I asked.
“I don’t know. It’s just strange he’s dropping out of the sky to talk to just you about something personal, that’s all,” Jake replied.
“Well, I don’t think I’m in any danger, if that’s what you’re worried about,” I replied. Jake shook his head chuckling.
“No, I know that. It’s just I wasn’t sure if you needed any moral support, that’s all,” he replied.
“No, it’ll be fine. I’ll just have to listen to what he has to say and give him my best advice, if that’s possible. He’ll either like what I have to say, or not. He’s not my father, so the future of my close personal relationship is not at risk or anything. Whatever it is, couldn’t be that bad,” I replied. Jake chuckled, saying if I needed reinforcement to call him and he’d be right there. I told him that’s what I loved about him. He hugged me, promising always to be there for me. Gees, I couldn’t love him enough, it seemed.
After dinner, the guys hung around to talk. I told them I had to run a couple of errands, but would meet them later at the pavilion and to save me a seat. Will wanted to know if I wanted company, but I told him to stay and drink beer instead, as I wouldn’t be long, then I took off. I couldn’t stop racking my brain as to what Mr. Hathaway wanted to talk to me about. It was driving me crazy.
I got to the airport a few minutes early and was there to see his Gulfstream land. He had a damn nice jet for sure. It made its way to the ramp and shut off the engines. It stood taller than our Citation did, the door having more steps on it than ours. The door opened, and at the top of the stairs was Mr. Hathaway in his suit pants and a white shirt and tie.
“Hey, Josh, come aboard and we’ll talk,” he hollered at me, beckoning me up to join him in his Gulfstream. I climbed up the stairs and entered the cabin which was richly appointed and very cushy comfortable from what I could first see. The captain and co-pilot shook hands with me, then promptly left the cockpit and headed down the stairs. “They’re going to stretch their legs while we talk,” Milton told me, offering me a seat in a very cushy chair opposite him.
“Wow, I have to admit, I thought our Latitude was pretty nice, but this is way over the top,” I said, as I looked around marveling at the much larger cabin and how really plush it was. Milton chuckled.
“Hey we looked at that jet at one time. It’s pretty damn nice too. I wouldn’t sell it short by any means. We just needed something a little larger to get around in, and this one became available. I have to say, I was impressed with what you said your aviation team came up with for leasing time out to corporations. I don’t think that would work for us as many days as we spend in the air getting around the country with our businesses, but for smaller companies, it would work great. I love that idea, actually. I hate to tell you what the budget is for this thing a year,” he replied. “You want a beer or a mixed drink or something?” Milton offered. I told him I was fine, as he poured himself a scotch. “I know you kids like beer, but don’t much like the sophisticated stuff we got used to. Hell, even I like a beer on a hot day as opposed to my favorite Scotch,” he said, trying to make conversation.
“Uh, I had a couple beers already at our bar, and I have a tennis match to go to after we meet, so I’m better off not drinking anymore, or I might not make it,” I chided. Milton laughed.
“Well, I don’t want to hold you up all evening, but I had something that was bothering me that I thought I needed to discuss with you, Josh. I think you’re the only one that can possibly help in this matter,” he told me, as he saw the look of concern on my face.
“If this is about Tink, Mr. Hathaway, he’s never been happier than he is right now. You don’t have to be worried about him at all. Yes, I know there is prejudice in the world and being gay is not always accepted by some people, but he has all of us as his family and support group, and we all love him to death. He’s going to be fine and do well, not to mention probably get rich working in our company, unless his not joining your company is concerning to you?” I asked. Milton smiled.
“Call me Milton, Josh. No use making me feel any older than I am,” he chuckled, then appeared to be considering what words to choose to tell me what was on his mind. “Actually, I totally agree with you about Tink. I’ve never seen him so happy since he was a little shit and just aggravated the hell out of just about anyone he came in contact with. He’s a very sensitive, sweet boy, and I have no doubt his being part of your group with your plans will give him a healthy happy life, Josh. I couldn’t agree with you more,” Milton replied, leaving me even more curious what he could possibly want to talk to me about. He sat up straight in his cushy chair, as if he was about to tell me something important. “It’s not Tink I’m concerned about. It’s Tyler, Josh,” he said, then paused for that to settle in. “Tyler is my major concern. Tink is Tink, and he is who he is. Tyler is different. Tyler thinks he has to be someone that we think he should be and not really be himself. He thought he had to play football in high school, because that’s what the guys all did to get the right girls. Turns out he was damn good at it, and was the team captain and quarterback. At least he gives everything he does his full effort, and is pretty successful. All his life, he’s always tried to be what he thought maybe we wanted him to be or others, where he felt some peer pressure of sorts. Tink could have cared less about what anyone else thought. Tyler wasn’t like that. He wanted to please, and do what he thought he needed to do to be accepted,” Milton explained.
“So, what is your concern about Tyler then? Do you think he’s not happy or not being his true self?” I had to ask. Milton paused, thinking about what he wanted to say next.
“Josh, my fear is he’s gay also,” Milton said, shocking me he’d say something like that. I looked stunned. “I’m sure you may have picked up on some of that since the two of you are close, or maybe even had some experiences with him, which might be the case.” I looked shocked, but didn’t say anything at first, feeling very uncomfortable where this conversation might be going.
“What gives you that indication, as he and Sue seem to get along great from what I can tell?” I asked. Milton smiled.
“Fathers sense what their children feel. I watched him the night we were here. He hung on every word you said when we had our meeting. He looked at you like he was hopelessly in love with you, Josh. I saw that, not once, but almost all the time he was looking at you. I knew there was something there. If he hasn’t acted on his emotions, he surely will and very soon, from what I could sense the night were here. There is no doubt in my mind he’s in love with you, and wants some kind of physical relationship. I can just tell,” Milton explained. I was shocked to say the least.
“Tyler knows that Jake and I are a couple. We’re close, and I really enjoy his friendship and company. He’s done a great job also working on this Victorian home we’re rehabbing in Key West and seems to be excited working on that project. Do you really think he could want to do something physical?” I asked, as if I didn’t have a clue. Milton smiled at me.
“Josh, it runs in our family. It’s a wonder Rod isn’t gay too. My brother seemed to skip that flow of genes somehow, but that’s not to say it might not end up in Rod’s children someday. Sterling and I are both aware we could have it in our families. Tink proved that theory, but I think Tyler is there also,” Milton told me, somewhat concerning me.
“I still don’t think Tyler is gay, Milton. He seems pretty happy with Sue, from what I can tell,” I told him. Milton looked at me rather skeptically.
“Josh, come on. Doesn’t your gaydar go off around him? Surely, if anyone knew he had these tendencies, you’d know,” Milton replied. “I see it, and if I can see it, surely you see it. It’s very obvious to me he loves you and wants you physically. Hell, I’ll just say it. I can tell he has the hots for you like no one else,” Milton told me, now really shocking me. “My concern is he’s not being true to himself, and is likely to live a life of unhappiness because he can’t admit to the world who he really is. He’s probably thinking that his parents couldn’t handle the fact they have two gay sons. He’s thinking with Tink coming out, he can’t as that would crush his mom and me, that one gay boy is enough in any family. I swear that’s what he’s thinking. He wants to be what we expect him to be, live a normal life, get married, have kids and pretend to be happy ever after, when he really loves someone of the same sex. I can tell you that’s what he’s thinking, and that’s what he will do if you don’t help him find himself, Josh,” Milton explained. I felt trapped between telling Milton what I knew and protecting Tyler’s privacy and deepest feelings, not to mention my privacy.
“How would you know something like that, Milton? What makes you think you are capable of seeing that in him?” I had to ask, thinking Tyler’s straight father shouldn’t have a clue about what sex Tyler loved and just pretended to love, or was he maybe just feeling me out because he had a hunch or something. Milton sighed, and took another big swig of his Scotch, then refilled his glass, somewhat surprising me.
“Josh, I’m going to tell you something, but if you ever tell another living soul, I’ll swear you’re lying and maybe even sue you for slander as this is the most personal thing I’ve revealed to anyone, not even my wife,” he started to say, but I stopped him.
“Milton, you don’t owe me any kind of explanation, and if you’re going to tell me something that personal, I don’t think I even want to know. You don’t have to do this,” I told him. He got real embarrassed, and drank another big swig of Scotch. He sat there for a second speechless.
“Josh, I had those same thoughts, that’s how I know what Tyler is feeling and going through. Back in my day when I was your age, being gay was terribly taboo and looked down upon. No one who was gay, unless they were a singer or in the arts, or a waiter or something, could make it in this world in any responsible position. I mean, it wasn’t good to be gay. I would never have made it in business to where I am today, had I led a gay life. It wouldn’t have happened. I would have been shunned by almost everyone, talked about behind my back and pitied by those that supposedly loved me. None of what I have today would have happened for me. Yeh, okay, I had a couple of boyfriends early in my career. Damn, those were some great times too. I really fell in love with one of them and thought I couldn’t live without him. Sterling got hold of me and told me I was fucking crazy to throw away a great career by going down that path. I had to get my head out of my ass and my dick out of my lover’s ass, or I’d be ruined,” Milton told me, quite embarrassed he poured his soul out. He looked visibly disturbed, almost shooked as he confessed.
“Oh, Milton. I don’t know what to say. You sure didn’t have to tell me any of your deepest darkest secrets. You didn’t owe me that at all,” I told him, embarrassed for him. It took a minute for him to get himself back together again and another glass of Scotch.
“Hey, it’s water under the bridge. I met Tink and Tyler’s mother after I convinced myself that wasn’t the life for me. I had two beautiful boys I’m really proud of and a wife that loves me also. In the end, I did alright, and everything worked out the way my brother thought it should. I’ve had a great career, done extremely well financially, have a loving wife, and two beautiful sons, a great dog, a nice house with all the amenities one could ever wish for, and I’m supposed to be happy, living the life most people only dream of,” Milton said. I was in awe, but felt there was something he had left to admit. I had to ask the question.
“Milton, do you still have cravings for what you felt before?” I had to ask him.
“Every fucking day, Josh. Every fucking day, I wish I was still with my boyfriend and wonder what life could have been with him. Hey, I’m satisfied that everything worked out the way it was supposed to be and acceptable to others, but there’s a big part of me that misses the one I truly loved and the physical love we shared together. I don’t think it’s possible to ever outlive that. I just don’t,” Milton confessed. I didn’t know what to say, other than I was sorry. “Don’t be sorry for me as I made a decision, I thought I had to make. Right or wrong, I made it and for all the world knows, I’m extremely happy, and I am for the most part. But still there is a part of me that I think I missed along the way. I try not to think about it, but I’ll never be able to shut it out no matter what I do, that is until the day I die. If I weigh the pros and cons of everything, maybe I did the right thing, at least I did for other people, like my wife, sons and business career, even making my brother and his family happy. But it hurts, Josh. Imagine, for a moment, you having to give up Jake and live a straight life in order to satisfy what you felt you had to do to make it in this world, to accomplish what you want to accomplish. Could you really do that?” he asked.
“I could never do that, Milton. I just couldn’t. That took an amazing amount of courage and resolution on your part to change your life and deny the love you felt for your friend at the time. You’ve got more willpower than I could ever have for sure,” I replied. He looked at me kind of strange.
“Willpower or cowardice, Josh? Sometimes I feel like I was the biggest coward ever, because I gave up what I loved for something others thought I should have and be. Was it right or wrong? I’ll never know the answer to that question, or maybe I just don’t want to admit to myself what the real answer is. Whatever it is, I’m stuck now and nothing can change anyway,” Milton replied. I really felt totally uncomfortable having this discussion with him in one way, and like he really needed someone to confess this to, that he felt could understand what his pain was. “Why I’m telling you this, is, I needed you to understand where I think Tyler is right now in life. I feel like he’s struggling with the same exact problem I had and blew. I want him to feel like he has a choice to make. He needs to follow his heart, and not the advice of others that don’t live his life, but think they need to tell him how to live, if the interest is there, and I can assure you it is. I see myself in him all day long. He looked at you the other night with love in his heart and lust in his brain and dick. He adores you, Josh. I know you’re not going to tell me if he’s acted on anything physically with you or even professed his love for you, if you two have physically loved one another. The details aren’t important to me. What is of the upmost importance is that he can freely make the choice as to who he is and who he chooses to love, without outside influences that would deliberately lead him astray, using the excuse it was being done for his own good. I want him to feely find himself and make a determination on his own, to be his own man, love who he chooses to love and be happy knowing he made the right decision for himself. I want that more than anything for my son,” Milton said, as sincerely as he possibly could, with tears in his eyes.
“I don’t know what to say,” I replied, as I searched for something to comfort this man who had poured his soul out to me, me, an almost perfect stranger who his son actually loved and had hot loving intimate sex with.
“I need you to help Tyler explore to the fullest who he really is, Josh. I need you to convince him it’s okay to be who he really is and not conform to who he thinks we, his parents, cousin and friend, think he should be. I need that more than anything. If I couldn’t do it for myself, I at least need to help my son find himself. You are the only one capable of that task. In business I always seek out the best man for any job and to them to get the job done, entrusting them to make it happen. Ninety-nine percent of the time it works out just like it was planned. You are the only friend he has that can help him find his true self and understand what he’s struggling with. I’m depending on you to help my son, Josh. I love him too much to let him make the same mistake his dad made because I wasn’t strong enough possibly to make the right one. Please don’t let Tyler make the same mistake as I did, Josh. I’m begging you not to let that happen,” Milton told me as sincerely as he could. Can you please do that for me?” Milton asked, almost pleading.
“I’ll try, sir. I love Tyler as my friend. It’s hard not to love all my friends, but he’s definitely special to me. We’ve learned a lot about life together, I will say,” I told him, making him smile. “He shares things with me, his emotions and concerns. He has told me that he deeply cares for Sue, but sometimes there are things that hold him back from a deep and abiding love he thinks he should be feeling, but he doesn’t for some reason. Therein lies the struggle you just told me about. We’ve talked about it, and need to talk a lot more about it. I hate to see him hurting, but have told him he needs to make his own decisions as I can’t, or no anyone else for that matter, can feel what his heart truly feels, but only what he tells me,” I explained.
“It’s good he’s talking to you then. What I suspected is true, and he’s struggling with what he feels he loves and what he expects we need to see. I hate that he can’t be determined like Tink and be who he damn well wants to be. Tink has no trouble with that at all, and everyone used to think he was the weak one. Hell if that’s true. He’s got more balls than any of us put together. Bless that boy for sure. I think he has his mother’s drive in that regard. At least she helped the situation, where I may have hurt it. I guess I should never have had kids, but then, I wouldn’t change those two boys for the world. I just love them so much, and want them to be happy with a fulfilling life, whatever that is, with whomever that is. That’s all I want for my boys,” Milton assured me.
“I’ll continue to be Tyler’s confidant, the one he can confess, profess, whatever, his true feelings to and help him find his way. I care too much about him as my friend. I will not encourage him, however, for a sexual relationship between us as I think that might not be healthy for either of us,” I told Milton, although I wasn’t sure I could keep my promise there.
“Do what you want, Josh. If it’s sex that helps him find his way, by all means, if it doesn’t screw you up or Jake, let him feel what that love can provide to his overall happiness. I mean, I know he’s my son and all, but he’s got a perfect body and a very loving heart. I used to catch him and Lonnie sometimes in the locker room after a football game in high school, and it was all I could do to keep my composure looking at their hot naked bodies together. I kept wondering what the two of them would be like having sex with one another. I know that would never happen, as Lonnie is about as homophobic as they come, and at one time Tyler was also, but that’s all changed these days. I think a lot of their perception of gay dudes changed because of you and your friends, Josh. You’ve opened his eyes, and he’s seen and felt things that stirred feelings deep inside him that he can’t shake. I was there at one time, and I know what he feels. Help him, Josh. Please help him to find himself before he makes mistakes he shouldn’t, and isn’t living life to his fullest potential of fulfilling love. He needs you in the worst way,” Milton begged.
“I’ll do my best, Sir. I deeply care about him also, and wouldn’t want any of my friends to struggle through something like this on their own, without having the opportunity to reach out to friends that care. I’ll do my best, but who he becomes, and who he loves, is ultimately up to him, just like it was with you,” I reminded him.
“I totally understand. If you need to discuss this with me any further, you have my private number to call anytime. I can always drop in out of the sky sometime on my way over this part of the country if we need face to face conversations. I think you know what to do though, without me getting involved,” Milton said, encouraged I could help Tyler.
“I’ll do my best, Sir. That I can promise you,” I assured him. He smiled all of a sudden.
“Ordinarily, when I get someone to agree to help me with an important project, I know they’ll excel at, I would normally give them a large cash amount to show my faith in what they were about to do for me. In your case, I know that would be an insult, because you’re the type of guy that would do something for the good of everyone without the slightest thought of compensation. If I’m wrong, please tell me,” Milton offered. I almost laughed.
“Milton, I only do something because it’s the right thing to do. Money is the furthest thing from my mind. It’s my heart that counts and that of the person I want to help. That’s it in its entirety,” I assured him, as we both stood up, both worn out from this discussion, and relieved and happy it was coming to an end.
“Would it be out of line to ask if I could hug you?” Milton asked. I smiled.
“It would be an honor, especially from a great looking more mature gentlemen like you, Sir,” I replied, with a little levity, but he was a damn good looking older man. “You must be the reason your sons are so hot looking,” I chided. He laughed.
“I swear they get their good looks from their mother, but I’m flattered you’d say what you did. Now I know why Tyler loves you like he does,” Milton said, as he put out his arms to hug me. He hugged me well, even patting me on the back before we broke. “If I was thirty years younger and you were around, I’d be chasing your ass all over, hoping you’d just spend a little time with me to get to know me. You are something else, Josh, for sure, in more ways than one. You’re a blessing to my children also. They’re very fortunate to have you in their lives. I’m fortunate and grateful to have you in their lives also. If I can ever help you in any way, shape or form, business wise or personal, you call me, and I promise to always do what I can for you,” Milton said, then gave me one last hug. “Gees you feel great,” he said, then shook his head like he was trying to shake off dirty thoughts. I had to chuckle.
“Hey, I love hugs, so you can hug me anytime,” I assured him. He shook his head, saying that wasn’t good for his mental health, making me laugh.
We both walked off the plane together. The two pilots were standing outside near the small terminal office, smoking cigarettes. I didn’t see Greyson or Dale around, for which I was grateful. Milton told the boys he was ready to go. He thanked me profusely one last time for our private conversation. I told him to be happy himself, not to grieve over the past, but look forward to a bright future. I actually think he thought about that, for a brief moment at least.
The two pilots climbed onboard and pulled up the steps, closing the door. A couple of minutes later, the engines started and that beautiful Gulfstream was taxiing down the taxi way. I watched as it lifted off the ground and headed for the Heavens. It was a beautiful plane, no doubt. My head was spinning as I jumped in my Jeep, relieved I had a tennis match to attend, to help distract my looming thoughts.