The Gay Community Needs To Stop Hating on Femme/Camp/Queeny Gays.....

[DiamondSkin]

So I was in NYC Pride yesterday, and I have several rather femme gays. They're a bit flamboyant and they're not 'straight-acting' or 'faux-masculine' like some gay people are:

GURRRL.

Anyhoo, in NYC of all places, during PRIDE of all times, just after an astonishing win for gay rights.....my queeny gay friends were gay-bashed. Verbally that is.

"Why can't they act normal? They sound like girls"

"God, hate those faggots"

"I don't like queens. I prefer straight-acting masculine guys, you know?"

"They're like women with dicks"

"If they get their asses gay-bashed, they probably deserved it for being so queeny"

WOW.

JUST WOW.

I'm not queeny-acting....but I'm not masculine-acting either.

The bashing of queeny/femme/feminine gays needs to stop.

Seriously.

 

[Poozy1]

Sheesh.....

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

me know already ans so many labels folk a rush about goin OOOH ans media make more ans oooh ans ooh so many way ta be but

next bit

me know already

may public go tell theirs a country they a born in ta just shut up ans smile

ans next bit obvious

KOOL


thnakyou

 

[DiamondSkin]

What is the "gay community" and how are these people you saw at this one event representative of that community?

Femmes are treated just fine in NYC. Hell, they practically dominate the scene.

Granted we were surrounded by DC/Philly gays. Somebody apparently organized us all together.

DC gays are rather different from NYC gays.

NYC gays are much more tolerant of femme gays as you said.

DC gays? Hell to the no. Femme gays are looked down and they blame them for every anti-gay thing that happens instead of the actual politicians.

We had one gay guy who moonlights as a drag queen who was gay-mugged by some punks near Columbia Heights.

How did the DC gays react?

"He probably deserved it for being so flamboyant. Maybe he'll learn to act normal now."

I wanted to punch the motherfucker in the face for saying that....

 

[Poozy1]

^ Thank you!

 

[DiamondSkin]

LOL, are you kidding? DC is dominated by queeny gays.

There's only one gay sports bar in all of D.C. and even it is teeming with the femmes.

Anyway, I echo the "Not This Shit Again" response.

DC is SO not dominated by queeny gays. Are you referring to Nellies?

That sports bar is fast becoming a straight bar with all damn families and straight guys coming after work. It does have very good TVs to watch from....

DC is either full of DL blacks who lurk in the corner of gay bar/club (i.e. Fireplace) before going home to their wives, graduate students, non-profit activists or capital hill staffers.

DC is VERY gay...but they all prize 'masculinity' and 'straight-acting' behavior and they look down on femme gays (unless you're twink in which is more acceptable)

 

[MoufOfKhaos]

My friends - my GAY friends - don't do that(at least to my knowledge, but I can vouch that the majority don't).
Your friends do.

Glad i'm not in the community.

 

[pat grimshaw]

……The bashing of queeny/femme/feminine gays needs to … the Gay Community Needs To .....

You need…

They need…

I think people could be looking after their own needs and not push their needs onto others.

I suspect that what you call "the community" is really the Community of Learned Helplessness

Do you know this man?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Robert_Malthus

 

[yummylongsword]

Jeez. Obviously no one deserves to get mugged or attacked just for being queeny, it's sad that you would hear that at a pride parade.

I do wonder why so many gay men are so feminine though. I guess it goes along with something in the brain that connects with a preference for men? I guess gay men have a sort of psychological precondition to act like women. Whatever is tweaked in our brains that gets us to like men must also tweak some other feminine behavior. And perhaps this gets echoed by the social stigma. Men have much more rigid gender stereotypes, so gay men unconsciously figure "if I can't be a 'real' man, might as well act like a woman!"

It's actually quite interesting, really. Hate is unnecessary though.

 

[rjmrjm21]

lol this thread is hilarious.

I've always been curious about the DC scene. What is a stepford gay? How come many times when I view a pic of a gay guy in DC, his mouth is open? Do they lack water?

 

[healingduck]

LOL, are you kidding? DC is dominated by queeny gays.

There's only one gay sports bar in all of D.C. and even it is teeming with the femmes.

Anyway, I echo the "Not This Shit Again" response.

This.

As if queeny guys don't bitch about masculine guys...

 

[Sam Blum]

Gosh - so sad that this topic bores some of our JUB 'community,' or inflames frustration and anger. Solidarity is what got us any legal equity at all, and it's what keeps us from getting hanged or worse, as is still done in much of the world, guys! Remember what sacrifices have gone before and continue to be made for the good of all of us - apparently by the few of us... If you feel no sense of connection to other GLBT persons, that speaks to your own disinterest only, not to lack of commonality or community. I find it revolting that even this site promotes the notion of 'straightness' as desirable over homosexual acceptance and clear gayness. (I must admit I suspect this is to do with guys dealing with inadequacy issues by fantasizing about dominating non-gay guys vicariously, but nevertheless...) Social order can reorganize in a matter of a couple of years and we have seen this happen repeatedly throughout all eras, and when re-ordering happens it is always to the exclusion of one or more groups. How bizarre that any of us wouldn't care if it happened to once again entirely exclude us!

 

[voyager1994]

I didn't know that the 'gay community' hates femmes, queeny, etc.
I do find that some could be quite annoying when they become too loud and verbally abusive themselves.

 

[AlmondMilk]

Since both NYC and DC are dominated and not dominated by femme gays, it's safe to say that not everyone will be tolerant of femme guys.

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

it's always seemed a bit laughable to me that many times, gays ask for respect from everyone else but refuse to give it to each other.

can go with it ins adjust ans take out (word gay) just one word what no say anythin
ans is a not helps any olk planet da centrics ways cultures make label da all thang ta whateva is of da day

before da label is just da soul whateva in da body

how dat make ans what turn inta by da cultures runnin da show

mean a

lot culutres got lotta work dooooooooo

before folk trust anythin humanity lost in a these cultures gonna say or do

Kool dat ma bit

-

fa topic it start own feet whereva ya is on planet just care cause humantiy love lot strrange and amazin things do many can tell you

anyway

back inta da bucket ans see what find

 

[godson112]

Hmmm...

I disagree... sort of.

Nobody should be bullied or abused, but I do wish that these types of people WEREN'T the stereotypical idea of a gay person. I get that if you're a girly gay guy, you should be able to act and dress and look however makes you happy... but I dunno.

Just, enough already...

 

[sabot3ur]

Just remember, to the straights we're all faggots! Even the straightest acting mucho macho manly men. Doesn't matter how you "act" just what you are and what you do.

 

[dhchitown1984]

I agree that there tend to be sub-cultures within the big grouping of "gay guys." But, DiamondSkin, you are valid in being upset your friends were verbally gay-bashed, and it's good you want to see everyone treated the same. However, did you notice that you also then made generalizations about the "DC Gays" and "NYC Gays" and in your first post said "They're a bit flamboyant and they're not 'straight-acting' or 'faux-masculine' like some gay people are: GURRRL."

That's like starting a sentence with "I'm not racist, but..." or "Please don't take offense, but...." I just read the sentence as, "They're a bit a flamboyant, but NOT AS BAD AS...."

Are you against the "hating" or are you just upset that you're friends were compared to the "'faux-masculine' like some gay people are: GURRRL."

 

[MoufOfKhaos]

Hmmm...

I disagree... sort of.

Nobody should be bullied or abused, but I do wish that these types of people WEREN'T the stereotypical idea of a gay person. I get that if you're a girly gay guy, you should be able to act and dress and look however makes you happy... but I dunno.

Just, enough already...

I wish the stereotypical meal for black people wasn't chicken and watermelon, but it's not gonna stop me from eating chicken(watermelon is too bland to be such a sloppy fruit).

So you can either whine about the stereotype, or live your life and be above it.

 

[undisclosed1234]

I think it's incredibly rude to demean his own experiences.

Yes, NYC can be very nice to fem guys, but prejudice happens everywhere, and this seems to be the case. I've heard every single one of those comments in NYC, just never at Pride. NYC can be very nice to minorities as well, but it's not like I've never heard a racist comment here. This stuff happens everywhere on the planet.

Alright, disclaimer: I guess I would be considered a guy who doesn't spend a lot of time with "femmes". I couldn't date/hook up with one sexually, and they're not in my circle of friends. the few I know are just really erm, too much.

There's a difference between homophobia/intolerance and being off-put by attention-seeking people caught constantly performing an aspect of themselves.

I'm black and I feel the same way about wannabe thugs or "loud sassy" black chicks who take an element of themselves and blow it up to ridiculous proportions.

But living in NYC (UWS), my experience with some femmes has been that they like to put on a show. Part of it is natural and genuine(voice, interests, demeanor, etc.) but you can't deny that there's a performance aspect to it to at times. Especially around Gay Pride or certain neighborhoods.

And as part of any groups, if your demeanor is "look at me" well, people are going to look, and some may not all like what they see. NYC diversity means that you have people of all walks of life, not just similar to you.

I don't get the intolerance or vitriol but I get how some people might not be 100% on board.

Saying "I prefer more masculine guys" isn't intolerance. IMO.