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The Institution of Heterosexuality

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYMhoWDIXN8&feature=PlayList&p=DC8F4AB524B5BA39&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=25[/ame]
 
This thread is really annoying.
You pass words around like Heterosexual and breeders like they're some type of other species. They're fucking people.
 
phierce said:
Don't even sit here and tell me that if gay marriage was legal in all states and countries there wouldn't be weddings and showers in the "homosexual institution" as well.
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They're legal right across Canada and I've never heard of having countless showers and then a big to-do reception that costs 5 figures or more. When I got married in Canada, we had a small party with our friends and told them "no gifts.. let's just drink." Then we drank. ALL the gay weddings I've been to so far have been just fun parties that are about love and commitment.. not about acquiring things.

Gay weddings are different NOW because there is still so much equality to fight for. But you cannot tell me that if the world wasn't divided into these categories there wouldn't be any traditions you'd be following too.
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But those would not include strong-arming co-workers into going to them and ponying up with cash and prizes. Or... I hope not. I can't see gay people WANTING the kind of crap that they get. I mean.. we already all have our own vibrators and sexy underwear.

I know not all straight people are like that. But enough of them are to make many of us here notice.
 
phierce said:
" Complaining about weddings and baby showers does not have to be sexuality specific. That's my only point.
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And as soon as my gay co-workers start to invite me to their kids' and nieces' weddings and showers and baby showers and Jack and Jills... I'll bitch about that too.

Hey, I'm equal opportunity.
 
"Bitter, party of...oh my, we're going to have push some tables together."

:rolleyes:
 
phierce said:
And you wonder why the straight world is so hell bent on continuing the "separate but equal" argument.
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I don't wonder at all. Those who are hell bent to do so are doing it because of bigotry, fear and ignorance.

Now, do I get my prize?

:gogirl:
 
Write back that unless you can come with your gay partner in your elegantly sequined party frocks and moustaches, you'll just have to decline. So, if you've not got a partner to go, get one, and if the two of you don't have moustaches, grow a pair and tell her why you don't wanna go!

Tell her you'll upstage the bride too.
 
so are you saying that marriage isn't a heterosexual institution? Because I kinda think it is.. whether you plan to get married or not.

And remember.. I'm married.. it's not like we can't have it too. but I'm sure you know that as a straight woman, you're expected to get married... and if you don't many straight people think there's something wrong with you.
 
Nope, I get a prize. It says so on my box of cracker jacks.

As far as me agreeing with anyone in this thread, I'm going to go with no on that one.

Respectfully, no offense to the OP meant, but I think this whole thread is just horse-shit.
 
Just coz you're invited doesn't mean you have to go. This 'save the day' shit seems like bullying IMO.

Tell them straight (no pun intended) or invent a way to get out of it. You have your own life to lead.


From a southern Chinese perspective, when we are invited to weddings (which is really the banqueting thingy) we can choose to go, and give a 'lucky red pocket', or not go but send the 'lucky red pocket' or 'lai see' to them. The convention is, if they recieved the 'lai see' beforehand, you're not coming, but have satisfied convention in sending the gift. So send a small gift and a well wishing card, but also note explicitely that you can't come, and leave it at that.
 
To tell you the truth, I get jealous at weddings.

It's so easy for them to get hitched.

Maybe that's why I don't like them. Maybe that's why I find it easier to hate and be less tolerant of the extreme gaudiness of the entire fake-ass event.

I don't want their wedding. I want my own gay wedding. And if I can't get that, I'll pooh pooh on yours.
 
I <3 weddings.

Been to at least two dozen I can think of right off the top of my noggin. Some were friends, most were family, almost all fun & happy times.
 
Seeta said:
To tell you the truth, I get jealous at weddings.

It's so easy for them to get hitched.

Maybe that's why I don't like them. Maybe that's why I find it easier to hate and be less tolerant of the extreme gaudiness of the entire fake-ass event.

I don't want their wedding. I want my own gay wedding. And if I can't get that, I'll pooh pooh on yours.
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I tend to think this is the reason why so many people in this thread have such a negative opinion towards weddings. This bitter, jealous attitude towards straight people isn't going to get anyone anywhere.

If you don't care about the person, stop faking it and don't f*cking go.

I only go to weddings of my family members or if I had a close friend who was getting married. What's the point of going to your coworker's niece's friend's wedding??


Jasun said:
But those would not include strong-arming co-workers into going to them and ponying up with cash and prizes. Or... I hope not. I can't see gay people WANTING the kind of crap that they get. I mean.. we already all have our own vibrators and sexy underwear.
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Please dude, gay people can just as shallow, materialistic and superficial people as straight people. Hell... most wedding planners that are male are GAY.

So don't tell me that just because you and your friends are into small weddings that there aren't tons of gay people who are the opposite and would love the big, extravagant weddings too.

Jasun said:
I know not all straight people are like that. But enough of them are to make many of us here notice.
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That's because there are more hetero marriages than gay marriages so obviously you're going to notice them more.
 
One of the nice things about social conventions is that there's always a way out of it. The "save the date" is just a warning, not an invitation, and is not socially binding. When you receive the invitation itself, you send the RSVP card back as "not attending." And that's that. If someone asks you why you aren't going, say you have a conflict.

Never apologize, never explain. Just follow the etiquette and you'll do fine.

That said, I have to say I have grown extremely tired of weddings over the years... I've been to at least thirty, maybe more, mostly family, some repeat offenders. All of the ceremonies were boring prelims to the reception, some of which were quite fun and others of which were a waste of a good suit-wearing. I have blissfully entered a period where all of the children of my generation have been married off, and the children of those marriages haven't started in yet, so I haven't been to a wedding in years.

Which means the only time I see my extended family is at my Grandmother's decade birthdays and at the increasingly frequent funerals. I think I'd rather go to a wedding, because then I can ignore everyone and just concentrate on the food.

I also wonder how many of my family would reciprocate if I were to get married. Something tells me not, which does take a lot of the fun out of attending theirs.
 
Swellegant said:
One of the nice things about social conventions is that there's always a way out of it. The "save the date" is just a warning, not an invitation, and is not socially binding. When you receive the invitation itself, you send the RSVP card back as "not attending." And that's that. If someone asks you why you aren't going, say you have a conflict.
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Unfortunately, I work really closely with the person inviting me. It would be hard to do that and not give an explanation. If this was someone I didn't see on a daily basis I would do just that. The wedding is all she's talked about, and will be talking about until the big day. It's kind of sad that her fiance doesn't even seem to have his foot in it, which is usually the case with most heterosexual men. The celebrations come and it's all about her. I guess just seeing this all this planning happening first-hand really just has me thinking about it and wondering why this is all such a big deal.

Just for the record, I'm not slamming weddings because I dislike straight people. I wouldn't want to attend gay weddings either. The bond between 2 people is a personal one and it shouldn't require an overpriced, self-indulgent celebration and a long invitation list of gift-givers. Some people like all that. I don't. That doesn't mean I don't give my blessing to any couple, straight or gay, having a wedding.
 
Transpogue said:
I do have to add here that it gets hard to see wedding expos, wedding shows, the entire wedding industry, and know that you are definitely not invited to the party.
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I feel the same way, especially with all the heterospectacle being shoved in my face after having our rights taken away at the last election. I really couldn't care less about a wedding, but we definitely deserve the same legal rights as heterosexuals.
 
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