I think I understand the straight guy fetish once and for all.
Quite simply, it's eternally romantic. It's not that 'straight guys are hotter' (Ime other gay men are much more erotically pleasing to me) but they do, more than other gay men- place you in a situation that is eternally romantic. I'll explain:
They are straight. You both know this. You'll never get with them. Yet at the back of your mind you think, maybe, it IS possible- they'll make the exception just for you since you DO have a lot of base chemistry, so they always keep you hanging on that cliff of pure romance.
All romantic love truly is, after all- is that feeling of excitement and wonder that's about to happen- but it never fully arrives. It's an innate ideal that cannot be reached. When the love actually arrives it ceases to be romantic love. It's now true love- and it's now more peaceful and settling than passionate or pining. With another gay man it can arrive. But what then? You'd have to keep moving on with your life- you couldn't stay stuck in eternal romance like you can with straight guys. And even though pining over straight guys might feel bad and uncomfortable there's still that hope that-- since it's really all about love more than orientations, you can MAYBE one day, hopefully- be together, even though it will clearly NEVER happen.
More and more philosophers and new age thinkers are understanding that romantic love isn't true love. True love is love that actually occurs or is happening right now. Romantic love is *Potential* true love that hasn't happened yet. (and may never happen- but it feels like it always COULD happen.) Romantic love is the feeling of getting to drink the pepsi. True love is actually getting to drink the pepsi. Romantic love is more uncomfortable, but it ultimately motivates people more - even if it's an illusion, and a sin (Lust - which isn't sexual pleasure but desiring a sexual pleasure that you can never have). Romantic/true love... you know, it's a balance. You probably avoid gay men that you can be with, because you like to put your heart through a lot of struggles since what is life without passion and expecting positive experiences? It's soap opera-y that way. But then you get tired of it and you just want it to HAPPEN already- so you get back to a person you can be with.
Now if two gay men play their cards right, it can be romantic AND true love... I'd imagine, as long as they both understand and play that game. As long as they can build the tempo enough before the grand finale, so to speak. But in a world that always encouraged gay men not to socialize with one another this can be hard. It too often goes straight to simply using each other instead of building up the relationship naturally. It's all too easy to get lonely growing up gay so when you finally meet another gay man you think 'what they hey we're both gay , attractive - let's just DO this already.
What is romantic love without true love? What is true love without romantic love? You clearly need both.
Quite simply, it's eternally romantic. It's not that 'straight guys are hotter' (Ime other gay men are much more erotically pleasing to me) but they do, more than other gay men- place you in a situation that is eternally romantic. I'll explain:
They are straight. You both know this. You'll never get with them. Yet at the back of your mind you think, maybe, it IS possible- they'll make the exception just for you since you DO have a lot of base chemistry, so they always keep you hanging on that cliff of pure romance.
All romantic love truly is, after all- is that feeling of excitement and wonder that's about to happen- but it never fully arrives. It's an innate ideal that cannot be reached. When the love actually arrives it ceases to be romantic love. It's now true love- and it's now more peaceful and settling than passionate or pining. With another gay man it can arrive. But what then? You'd have to keep moving on with your life- you couldn't stay stuck in eternal romance like you can with straight guys. And even though pining over straight guys might feel bad and uncomfortable there's still that hope that-- since it's really all about love more than orientations, you can MAYBE one day, hopefully- be together, even though it will clearly NEVER happen.
More and more philosophers and new age thinkers are understanding that romantic love isn't true love. True love is love that actually occurs or is happening right now. Romantic love is *Potential* true love that hasn't happened yet. (and may never happen- but it feels like it always COULD happen.) Romantic love is the feeling of getting to drink the pepsi. True love is actually getting to drink the pepsi. Romantic love is more uncomfortable, but it ultimately motivates people more - even if it's an illusion, and a sin (Lust - which isn't sexual pleasure but desiring a sexual pleasure that you can never have). Romantic/true love... you know, it's a balance. You probably avoid gay men that you can be with, because you like to put your heart through a lot of struggles since what is life without passion and expecting positive experiences? It's soap opera-y that way. But then you get tired of it and you just want it to HAPPEN already- so you get back to a person you can be with.
Now if two gay men play their cards right, it can be romantic AND true love... I'd imagine, as long as they both understand and play that game. As long as they can build the tempo enough before the grand finale, so to speak. But in a world that always encouraged gay men not to socialize with one another this can be hard. It too often goes straight to simply using each other instead of building up the relationship naturally. It's all too easy to get lonely growing up gay so when you finally meet another gay man you think 'what they hey we're both gay , attractive - let's just DO this already.
What is romantic love without true love? What is true love without romantic love? You clearly need both.
