G-Lexington
Lex. Icon. Devil.
Gentleheart, I got a whopper for ya'
This one isn't "overheard", per se, but it is seen in gif images, and when I say whopper, I might actually mean that literally.
I won't post the pics here - they are porn pics, and posting them here would violate the TOS. But I can post the link to the pics, and well, let's just say, straight dude was hungry. But not for his gf. No - while having sex with his gf, they're in doggy style. Suddenly, out of the blue, this guy gets two pieces of bread out of a loaf of bread; and then balogna,
And, while he's in the middle of actually having sex with her - in doggy style - he literally makes himself a sandwich on his gf's back. I shit you not. Take a look. After he finishes making the sandwich, he eats it - while still inside his gf. He's just munching away, and then wiped the girlfriend's back of the bread crumbs. It was just weird.
My friend swears this sort of thing happened to him in real life. He was bottoming for a guy, they were going at it, and then suddenly, the guy pulls out and walks out of the room without a word. My friend figured he had gone to grab more lube or something, but he was gone for a bit longer than that. Just about the time my friend was about to get up and look, the guy came back...eating a cheese sandwich.
"Wait...where did you go?"
"To get a cheese sandwich."
"...are you fucking KIDDING me?"
"Oh, sorry. Did you want one?"
My friend says that was the biggest blow to his sexual ego ever. "Imagine being so bad in bed that, literally while a guy is fucking you, he's thinking 'you know what? I'd rather have a cheese sandwich than keep this up'."
Lex
Dafuq?!?! 
