Luminox
Sex God
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- Jan 5, 2007
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Wow, you sound just like me a couple of years ago...
...I used to be like that, hating myself and everything, and just crying all day, wanting to just not wake up one morning (cos I was too chicken to kill myself ! Tried it but fucked it up - luckily !
), thinking I have no reason to live...
I don't really know how I got over it . It was a gradual thing I guess, not something that happened <BANG!>, like that. I just started slowly, one tiny step at a time, opening up a little bit more, smiling more, being friendlier...I know it sounds really idiotic but it's true : you gotta pick yourself up !
I myself a couple of years ago would've given hell to anyone who would've told me this but now I see that what my parents (and other people) were trying to tell me : you gotta pull yourself together. There is no miraculous cure for that "place" you're in. Unless you do something, nothing will change. You'll be 29,39, even 59 and you'll still feel the same if you don't do something. The sooner you realise that the power to change all that comes from WITHIN you, the better. I know I sound really unhelpful and cheesy, but I've been in the same shitty place as you, and I dealt with it with determination and a will to be happy someday, somehow .
Try to socialise more with your co-students, like suggest going for a cup of coffee after a classm for example. You're saying that they're all weirdos and that you're afarid of all people but that's just because you're f*cked up now. I used to be afraid of everyone too, and be completely antisocial. Later on I realised of course that there are nice people out there that I can hang out with, and that not everybody is out to get me !
Try to boost your self-confidence and self-respect...do something you've wanted to do for a long time and were afraid you weren't able. This will give you new faith in yourself and make you stronger. For me it was losing weight, for example. Beeing fat all my life and picked on and feeling gross and unattractive and not worthy of love was a huge issue for me. I was afraid I'd never manage to be good-looking and thin. I have a problem with my metabolism that is hereditary (from my mum's side of the family, we have a natural predisposition to fatness, and a strong tendency for obesity, heart problems and diabetes), and I thought I'll never beat that cos it's in my nature anyway. Guess what ? I did it. It took me so awfully long and a lot of times I had relapses and put on weight again, but every time I managed to pick myself up and do the whole damn thing again.Because my will was stronger than my nature, I guess. And finally, after countless struggles, I succeeded. I am no longer fat. I finally like myself, and don't wanna cry or vomit when I look at myself in the mirror. I'm healthy and feel more confident and "worthy" to be liked and loved.
This was just an example. It could be anything like this for you. Maybe you wanna...I don't know ? Learn to walk on your hands ...get a dog...learn French...tidy up that 24/7 messy apartment...ANYTHING ! Something you've always wanted to do but held back because you thought you wouldn't be able to succeed ! You can start with smaller things and gradually move on to bigger ones. When you accomplish something you thought to be difficult, you'll suddenly feel much stronger and confident, and that will show. It will "radiate" from you, and people will like you more and be nicer to you. Nobody likes somebody who doesn't even like themselves...if you don't like yourself and don't wanna help yourself, this will push people away.
I could go on like this for hours cos you triggered some of my memories with this thread but the main thing is : PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER ! You're stronger than you think you are, and you WILL be happy one day, if you pursue it. Life is what you choose to make of it.
Hope I've been of (some) help...
Peace,
Lumi
...I used to be like that, hating myself and everything, and just crying all day, wanting to just not wake up one morning (cos I was too chicken to kill myself ! Tried it but fucked it up - luckily !
), thinking I have no reason to live...I don't really know how I got over it . It was a gradual thing I guess, not something that happened <BANG!>, like that. I just started slowly, one tiny step at a time, opening up a little bit more, smiling more, being friendlier...I know it sounds really idiotic but it's true : you gotta pick yourself up !
I myself a couple of years ago would've given hell to anyone who would've told me this but now I see that what my parents (and other people) were trying to tell me : you gotta pull yourself together. There is no miraculous cure for that "place" you're in. Unless you do something, nothing will change. You'll be 29,39, even 59 and you'll still feel the same if you don't do something. The sooner you realise that the power to change all that comes from WITHIN you, the better. I know I sound really unhelpful and cheesy, but I've been in the same shitty place as you, and I dealt with it with determination and a will to be happy someday, somehow .
Try to socialise more with your co-students, like suggest going for a cup of coffee after a classm for example. You're saying that they're all weirdos and that you're afarid of all people but that's just because you're f*cked up now. I used to be afraid of everyone too, and be completely antisocial. Later on I realised of course that there are nice people out there that I can hang out with, and that not everybody is out to get me !
Try to boost your self-confidence and self-respect...do something you've wanted to do for a long time and were afraid you weren't able. This will give you new faith in yourself and make you stronger. For me it was losing weight, for example. Beeing fat all my life and picked on and feeling gross and unattractive and not worthy of love was a huge issue for me. I was afraid I'd never manage to be good-looking and thin. I have a problem with my metabolism that is hereditary (from my mum's side of the family, we have a natural predisposition to fatness, and a strong tendency for obesity, heart problems and diabetes), and I thought I'll never beat that cos it's in my nature anyway. Guess what ? I did it. It took me so awfully long and a lot of times I had relapses and put on weight again, but every time I managed to pick myself up and do the whole damn thing again.Because my will was stronger than my nature, I guess. And finally, after countless struggles, I succeeded. I am no longer fat. I finally like myself, and don't wanna cry or vomit when I look at myself in the mirror. I'm healthy and feel more confident and "worthy" to be liked and loved.
This was just an example. It could be anything like this for you. Maybe you wanna...I don't know ? Learn to walk on your hands ...get a dog...learn French...tidy up that 24/7 messy apartment...ANYTHING ! Something you've always wanted to do but held back because you thought you wouldn't be able to succeed ! You can start with smaller things and gradually move on to bigger ones. When you accomplish something you thought to be difficult, you'll suddenly feel much stronger and confident, and that will show. It will "radiate" from you, and people will like you more and be nicer to you. Nobody likes somebody who doesn't even like themselves...if you don't like yourself and don't wanna help yourself, this will push people away.
I could go on like this for hours cos you triggered some of my memories with this thread but the main thing is : PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER ! You're stronger than you think you are, and you WILL be happy one day, if you pursue it. Life is what you choose to make of it.
Hope I've been of (some) help...
Peace,
Lumi