You can’t find a conspiracy theory that doesn’t involve the Jewish Bankers. This is because the Jewish Bankers were the very first conspirators. As any good Aryan or conspiracy theorist can tell you, they are the literal spawn of Satan . In fact, it turns out that Jews aren’t really Jews at all; only white people from Britain are really Jews. They’ve just forgotten that they’re Jews. (Probably through some sort of mind control.) See, it all starts when God was experimenting with creation. It seems that Satan was doing some temp work for God, and God told him to invent people. Satan botched up the job, of course, and created the “mud people” (Africans, Asians, Slavs, etc.). God was not happy with this substandard work, and decided that if he wanted something done right, he had to do it himself. That’s when he created white people. Satan got fired, and was naturally very upset about this, so he got Adam and Eve booted from Eden. Before their forced relocation, however, Satan (still rather bitter about being fired from his temp gig) managed to convince Eve to go for a roll in the hay. As a a result, Eve got pregnant and had a son: Cain. Cain (being evil by his nature since he was the literal spawn of Satan) killed his brother, Abel. This royally pissed God off, so he sent Cain to Asia as punishment. Fortunately for Cain, chicks tend to dig that “bad boy” image he had cultivated. Unfortunately, birth control methods in the early years of Creation weren’t that advanced yet. As a result, Cain ended up fathering several children with the “mud people” and their descendants—the literal offspring of Satan—are the modern Jews. The real Jews—ten tribes worth—all got lost and at least two of them ended up in Great Britain. Meanwhile, back in Asia Minor, Cain’s kids conspired to unite the world into a single government, mostly for the purpose of keeping secret books, killing Gentiles and having sex with young Gentile girls. Somehow they managed to make the other tribes forget that they were the real Jews. Once this was accomplished, Cain’s kids took over and began calling themselves “The Jews” (except for those who later moved to south Chicago; that sect was known as “Da Jews”).
