To all married or divorced guys. Lets start fighting our corner!

[Alpha1851]

Re: To all married or divorced guys. Lets start fi

Wow! I'm both amused and informed after reading this thread. Interesting.

I do feel bad for the wives and kids of these gay men. They are going to have to forge ahead on a new path and will probably wonder if their whole lives have been fake. However, there is no difference btwn a gay man marrying a woman and then leaving her and a straight man marrying a woman and then leaving her. It happens all the time! People adjust, they move on.

Over half of straight marriages end in divorce. Loads of times that husband checks out of the marriage b/c he had another woman on the side. Those wives and children will also have to forge a new path and will also probably wonder if their whole lives were fake. Those people also garner my sympathy. I don't see a difference btwn these two situations and honestly, neither scenario means it's the end of the world.

Also, I think some of you are forgetting that people marry for the wrong reasons all the time. Money, stability, power, career motivations, family pressures, political motivations, and the fear of growing old alone, all play a major part in many marriage proposals. It's like a business deal for many people.

And, personally, I aint buying the whole, "oh, I feel so bad for that poor woman that you tricked." Men here are constantly telling other JUBBERS to dump their gf/wives and go after a man. Go to the coming out/relationship section and you'll see plenty of posts where bi or gay curious guys (just attach whatever appropriate label you believe in) are encouraged to "dump that slut and find a good man." So, yeah, I just don't think this anger or resentment is all about sympathy for the lady and children. Instead, I think there's a bit of hatred for these ex-married gay men, b/c they picked a woman over a man. They picked being straight and having it easy, over being gay and fighting the fight for equality. They choose to cower down in a corner instead of standing beside you defiantly. And it's fine if you're angry at them for this, just be honest about your motivations.

I tend to go w/ the whole, "she who has not sinned should cast the first stone." I'm a sinner....

 

[Alpha1851]

Re: To all married or divorced guys. Lets start fi

Firstly I have to ask why this thread was resurected. It has been hashed and rehashed to death.

Well, it was resurrected by Jamie, a gay man who did in fact marry a woman and father children w/ her. So, it's not like the thread was brought back to life for vindictive purposes.

 

[ejbonk]

Re: To all married or divorced guys. Lets start fi

I am fed up with guys who have never been married to a woman making off hand comments or being judgemental about us who did but who are gay.

They have no idea what pressures we may have been put under or have no idea exactly why we did it.
They have no idea of the pressure to maintain the relationship either by being faithful or not.
They have no idea about how difficult it might be to break away from that relationship once we have children.
They have no idea how difficult it is to tell your wife or children that you are gay.
they have no idea how difficult it is to leave a marital home. the home you have spent years investing in.
The financial loss alone is potentially huge- I lost over £150,000.

So guys lets start fighting back- lets tell those guys who are so all knowing what it was like.
Tell of the tears the heartbreak- the bags on the lawn. Having to sleep in a car.
All the trauma we went through to be who we really are.
Some of us are even to scared to make the break- lets tell them how difficult we have had it.

Let's add those of us that are BI and Married and Our Wivies are Cool with it. They let Us ,be Us and are a Hell of a lot more Supportive than most so called sensative Gay Men.

Why the Hell should I leave my wife and Kids for your gay ass to have you bail in a month,6 months,a year?? Whatever.

 

[1gayguy]

Re: To all married or divorced guys. Lets start fi

^naw just an angry young man. Happens to the best of us.

 

[Elwood]

Re: To all married or divorced guys. Lets start fi

Ok first of all I am definatly not looking for anyones sympathy and I am not making excuses. Also let me say that I am one of those guys, but I had the guts to finally accept myself and do something about it. Did I ruin my ex wife's and childrens lives in the process. Fuck no, my ex has long since moved on and I have a very good relationship with my two kids and I am a loving and caring father.

When I entered into the relationship with my ex I wasn't fooling anyone I just didn't think I was gay, I thought I was bi and could turn it off. It was only after the relationship started going sour that I started to wonder about things and after going into therapy for a year, I finally realized or accepted that I was gay.

Ya know it is great that some people knew they were gay at the age of 12, I didn't does that make me a bad person????