Tomorrow's the big day...but...

[Dman007]

So tomorrow Im suppose to meet with a guy that has pretty much become a good friend of mine. We both pretty much think its going to lead to more then just spending a few hours with a new friend...lol

He's really nice and is completely not letting me forget the fact that if we do something we have to be completely safe (hes a little older and I think since after all these years he hasnt caught a disease he doesnt into to catch one now) which is fine with me.

....He is hot, and pretty much my type, though not exactly, he's nice...but I dont think he is great for me, he's married and has no intention of a long term "real relationship" with a man.

But about 6 or 7 days ago, I saw a guy on a male hook up site, and just shot him a messege, being friendly since he does live close by....well, this guy is amazing!...lol and he is Completely my type... plus he is very sensitive to other peoples feelings, nice, handsome, funny and wants a relationship but only after he meets a guy worth having one with. and says that im the kind of guy hes looking for.

But he's married too!....only difference between guy #1 and him is...he wants something more then sex..he wants someone he can spend the rest of his life with if he still can...i think hes like 48...so hes kind of old...

Why DO I ATTRACT BI-MARRIED MEN!?!?! and why do I only find them?

guy #2 wants to give me chance...but seems pretty shy and un-easy about meeting, probably because of the fact he's married. I already like him though we still have alot to learn about each other since we havent really taked for more then a week...yeah I really want to take it kind of slow with him, i dont want to chase him away.

but...tomorrow? do I really want to meet with a guy just for sex (first time I might add) and probably wont see again for a long time and probably talk to only a few times a week?...I know some of you will think go for it its there, but hes nothing special...shouldnt consider that maybe my first time should be with someone special to me? like guy #2 might be?

I dont know, I hope at least a couple of you out there read this.

 

[JackFTwist]

it is worrisome to become such good friends with people so fast

you see the danger signs

letting your emotions of affection rin so fast, that is not a good thing, you set yourself for a lot of hurt

 

[sunshinesteve]

And they say youth is wasted on the young.......

 

[NineOfClubs]

I wish I could help.

One side of me wants to tell you to run, and like hell, and wait for the "right" guy.

Another, says hey, f*ck 'em both, have fun while you can, life can be short, etc..

I guess you just have to follow your own instincts, be willing to take the chance that you might get hurt. Be safe, and then see where it all goes...

 

[G-Lexington]

Meet Guy #1. For dinner if you're not sure about the sex. See how you feel in his presence, how you interact. If you like him, cool, pursue a friendship (or more, if you'd like).

Tell Guy #2 to get a divorce, and then you'll talk.

Lex

 

[landers]

You don't have jump in to bed with someone just because you're a virgin. You don't have to wait until you're married or find your true love but you should at least wait until you find someone who cares for you and won't use you and toss you aside like the rag he uses to wipe up his cum.

 

[SilverRRCloud]

I see absolutely no harm in having fun in life.

If you find a dude attractive and worth a shag, put your moves on him and get that thing going.

You have got a good head on your shoulders, and you know well that in all likelihood, married guys are looking for some little fun on the side, without much drama, expense and wasted time. They are most likely, not looking forward to divorce in oorder to start a new relationship with you. Their marital situation is theirs alone. You have got your message loud and clear but that message by no means, spells out that you should start playing their marriages' angel guardian. Frankly, that's only their business and no one else's.

Waiting is not topping my personal Fav List. I see no point in it.

If you happen to be one of those people, who insists on having 'meaningful sex only' as opposed 'having sex for the hell of it', I have nothing but respect for your point of view. This is where, the 'different strokes for different folks' applies fully.

SC

 

[Dman007]

Well there is no big day tomorrow...i feel so...i dont know how I feel exactly...

we were talking about tomorrow...and suddenly he started to freak out a little saying hes wont be able to make it tomorrow, I asked "why? whats wrong" he said his "Sinus infection is coming back" (which it is) and he will feel to bad in the morning to be able to go anywhere most likely. and I said, well feel better, maybe another time, yata yata.

Then...I guess he started feeling all kinds of guilt, because he said "I havent been completely honest with you..." ...i was like..what the?.... "and i said "what do you mean?" well he has a boyfriend, that is out of town, and I contacted him, and he thought..wow! free hot sex with a hot guy! im gonna go for it!..

but when it came close to time...he decided he couldnt go through with doing that behind his boyfriends' (and wife's) back (dude...your dating a guy when your married...ya kind of already lost some honor points there) he apologized...and i was happy for him being honest. Now I feel lead on and throw away...well whatever...were still friends though...I understand his Lust got the better of him, and he just couldnt let that happen. I understand, sometimes you get overwhelmed and cant think straight.

Now Guy #2, I feel like I could be wasting my time...but I think im in love...I know I said that about guy #1, but no, I was in Lust and I feel the difference between the 2 now...its not about waiting until im married now, I care about him, and want to be with him, I only have felt this way ONE OTHER time in my entire life, but the guy was straight... and im happy that he found his true love..so i knew it could never be...well the feeling is back, for guy #2, and this can be...and it might be. but I feel like im living in a fairy tale...like he will just keep living his life with his wife and forget all about me...

If he rejects me...
call me stupid,
call me crazy,
call me hopeless,
call me lost to the real world,

but I will never look for love again.

after about a 3 months of mourning over the loss of him, I will probably be back to my old horny self and just go for sex with any willing hot guy.

because Love wont be worth it....

thinking about posting that as a new thread, so you guys can yell at me or advise me...whatever it is you want to say.

 

[rareboy]

Train wreck.

Can't take my eyes off it.

If he rejects me...
call me stupid,
call me crazy,
call me hopeless,
call me lost to the real world,

but I will never look for love again.

What could we add?

 

[StlKj]

My advice?

Sloooooooooooooooooow doooooooowwwwwwwwwn.


Good lord, Bud, you're falling in love with people who are married, much older than you, and whom you've never met! Slow down. You're going way too fast. You don't know these guys well enough yet to know if they're just using you for the possibility of sex or if they really do like you. You also don't know if they are willing to leave their marriages if the right guy comes along. You can't have "known" either of them well enough to know anything deep about them, other than you're seemingly instantly attracted to them. That's a very bad sign.

Here are a couple of thoughts:

Meet someone offline. Online, anyone can put his best qualities forward and lie to you. Get to really know someone by talking on the phone, meeting first, etc. If you just want to get laid, then okay, but you seem to lead with your heart, and it's going to get destroyed.

Take your time getting to know him. Again, you sound like someone who is going to attach emotion to sex quickly, so you need to be careful with whom you get physical.

Find someone who is truly available. A married man looking for an 18 year old online is not looking for anything beyond sex, and if he is, then he needs to leave his wife before finding it. While that might not always be the case, it's a good rule to live by in protecting yourself from disappointment.

Be suspicious of anyone you are instantly emotionally attracted to. I'm worried that you are describing to us your potential pattern, which means you're going to be drawn to older, unavailable guys you don't know first, and will then be hurt by when they reveal their true colors. If this is how you are, you might want to try establishing relationships with people who you're not immediately drawn to. That way you take time to get to know them--really know them.

I caught a commercial for one of those Divorce Court shows, and I have to admit, I loved what the judge said in the commercial. She said "after four months, the only things you know about someone are what you like." She also said something along the lines of "Even Atilla the Hun could be fun on a couple of dates."

I'm concerned you're going to date a number of Atillas because you throw your heart out too much, too soon. Slow it down a little.

 

[Dman007]

^ well maybe I should add a little to the story, we wanna meet soon, but it aint going anywhere...probably not even a hug! lol just to meet in person to make sure were saying who we really are maybe grab lunch or something and he'll be off to work after that you know?

I cant go much slower, lol, just cant help but fall in love with everything about him so far.

We do understand each other, though we are both in complicated situations, hes not going to break off from his wife before he meets someone, why add stress to his life if he doesnt have to, what if we arent as perfect for each other as we think, he cant go back to his marriage or kids (if he has kids, i havent asked yet)...he'll be alone, I dont want to do that to him, he doesnt want that either. I cant ask him to get a divorce before we date! and i dont want him to, one day if we can be happy with each other, he's going to have to choose...but he cant go back to his marriage once he leaves it most likely. i know you can understand that.

I understand that yes, im throwing my heart into this too much...but i cant help it, ive never quite felt this way...since my hearts been put more into this then anytime before.

Yes Im stupid...yes im aiming too high...but its the way I am, the way I feel, I tried to fight it when i found out he was married. telling myself "dont get into this, dont set your self up for hurt" but the more I talk to him, the further that gets from my mind. I just have to try...yes...I'll take it slow. because thats what he wants.

 

[G-Lexington]

We'll be here when you get back.

Either to gloat that you and your man are perfect for each other and are about to start your journey to "happily ever after", and we were old jaded idiots who don't know what love is.

Or to scream that life is horribly unfair and you'll never love anyone ever again.

We'll still be here.

Lex

 

[Dman007]

Lex...I love you too..lol, you always give the best advice and try to be as supportive as you can be.

Hax, he doesnt want to get me in bed...he's looking for a friendship, that can develop into something more with a man. If he truly finds someone he loves...he'll probably divorce his wife for that person..hes obviously not happy...maybe he made the mistake of getting married and realized he was more gay then straight...he said he had some of the best times with guys, even when if no sex was involved.

yes Im probably setting my self up for hurt...theres like 95% chance of that....

1. Im probably not that guy.

2. Maybe he wont be able to go through with a divorce, and decides hes happier where he is at.

but I still have to try...I feel a really strong connection to him, and he feels a strong connection with me...though that doesnt nessarilly mean Im Mr. Right or he's my Mr. Right..

but I still have to go for it.

 

[Dman007]

Well...personally, I think you're setting yourself up for trouble and strife.

Turn the other way while you still can.

I know that you feel that you can only attract these kind of men, but keep looking and keep yourself open.

I know there are some guys here who have the whole carefree attitude about hooking up with men, but seriously think about who you are getting yourself involved with. Hooking up with married men will come back to bite you in the ass one way or another...as it will them.

There are dozens of unattached men out there who would jump at the chance to be with you. Go for them...

If you like drama and confusion...go for it, but don't expect things to be nice and simple when you're fooling around with a guy who already has a family. You'll see the light eventually.

I forgot about you huntneo...sry...

but I dont wanna be with anyone else...yeah okay I did fool around with some other guy last night...thats becasue he was avalable and so am I right now...but If I was with this married guy...I wouldve never considerd this other guy. yeah hes nice..yeah hes hot..yeah he was very considerate at making sure everything was comfortable...but hes not this other guy that really like and thats all i could think about...

I dont like Drama and confusion....but i like him...

by the way, i am VERY STUBBURN when it comes to certain things...and nothing is going to change my mind until I get hurt...

Im only posting about it so I can get opinoins, maybe advice..help when i dont know what to do, and people will already know the kind situation im in to try to give me the help and advice I need. plus some people like to hear about other peoples lifes...almost like tv or a story.

 

[pausanias_usa]

Since you obviously need dating experience, go ahead. But like others noted, don't be surprised if the new knowledge kinda hurts.

 

[supergurl]

What?! Okay where I'm from we just don't do that.(well sometimes and some people but not Me!!) Maybe it's bc I'm from the south but Gay or Not. I will not sleep with, or have a "special" friendship with a married man. No! But that's just me, I'm not saying I'm better but COME ON! Your 18 and your talking about these Married Men like You've known them all your life. YOU don't know them! GET REAL! Sorry to be harsh or Hell Bitchy but it needed to be said.

No offense intended but your looking for LOVE with married men. That in and of itself is ......UGH....COME ON!!

 

[Dman007]

sorry supergurl, I cant shake my feelings, no matter what...

more I fight the feeling...the more it fights back, am I crazy?

I know ive known him for only almost 2 weeks now...but we talk all the time, all day sometimes...while im on the computer taking care of other things I got the messenger up, or the email at least up, weve at least talked a little bit every day so far since I met him.

i know thats not long enough, trust me...im dealing with my emotions..I just fell in love hard I think...you guys or telling me the most logical thing to do, the best way to handle is too not handle and just forget about it..

just like the phrase "you cant help someone if they dont want help"

I cant just forget about him if I dont want to...

 

[StlKj]

sorry supergurl, I cant shake my feelings, no matter what...

more I fight the feeling...the more it fights back, am I crazy?

I know ive known him for only almost 2 weeks now...but we talk all the time, all day sometimes...while im on the computer taking care of other things I got the messenger up, or the email at least up, weve at least talked a little bit every day so far since I met him.

i know thats not long enough, trust me...im dealing with my emotions..I just fell in love hard I think...you guys or telling me the most logical thing to do, the best way to handle is too not handle and just forget about it..

just like the phrase "you cant help someone if they dont want help"

I cant just forget about him if I dont want to...

I dont like Drama and confusion....but i like him...

by the way, i am VERY STUBBURN when it comes to certain things...and nothing is going to change my mind until I get hurt...

This pretty much says it all, Dman. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but I don't believe for one minute you love this guy. You crave this guy. You have an insatiable need to pursue this, knowing it's a train wreck and that you're bound to derail. You're predicting it's demise, and then tossing out statements about never looking for love again. That is drama, and it is chaos.

You're very young, and you probably haven't been able to go through the same dating rituals, highs ands lows that your teen hetero counterparts experienced in high school. Very well then--make all the mistakes you need to so you can live this romanticized, dramatic view of what love is. Just be careful that the heartbreak you seem so desperately to be seeking doesn't harden you against guys you might actually have a chance to be happy with once you stop chasing the ones you won't.

 

[Dman007]

^ I understand how this sounds...but I dont know if it is love, it sure feels like it... I thought the same thing...I found a guy who is hot with a great personallity..so I just want him!...but even after I met him I had sex with a different guy!...and I still feel the same about this other, guy and I could drop that guy out of my life easy if I wanted to...but not this guy im talking about. Im pretty sure the drama and chaos isnt that factor that makes this guy better then the one I slept with.

 

[Dman007]

Tomorrow is another big day...lol

I meeting up with this married guy for coffee tomorrow, kind of like a first date to get to know one another a little better, and actually face to face.

im getting nervous in a weird way...a good way though.

we'll take pictures hopefully, im gonna ask him if its okay that I post pictures of us together on here...i dont even know if he knows about this and if for some reason he's uncomfortable with that then I wont.

well wish me luck!