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Humor-Satire Trump Staff Picks, Co-Conspirators and the Revolving Door of Departures [2024 Edition]

In Texas, if you are poor and black and you are accused of voter fraud, you get sent to prison for 5 years.

If you're a MAGA and Russian darling, then you get away with it.

As Tulsi Gabbard completed her transformation from a Hawaii Democratic politician to a MAGA surrogate last year, she put down stakes in a far redder state. Gabbard and her husband bought a home outside of Austin and declared under oath last June that they were “resident(s) of the State of Texas.”

But a few months later, Gabbard voted in the 2024 general election back in Hawaii.

Election law experts said Gabbard’s vote, coupled with her claiming a homestead tax break on her Texas home, raises questions about whether she properly cast her ballot and illustrates the complexity of state voting laws.

Gabbard is now director of national intelligence under President Donald Trump. Trump has continued to press false claims of widespread voter fraud and demanded further actions by state and federal authorities to address it.

Representatives for Gabbard said she never intended to abandon her longtime Hawaii residency, despite signing the sworn declaration calling herself a Texas resident.
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The one Signal Chat was embarrassing. This one borders on treason.

www.cbsnews.com

Pete Hegseth shared details of Yemen strike in another Signal chat including his wife and brother, sources say

The messages were sent the same day Hegseth shared similar details in a separate Signal chat that inadvertently included The Atlantic's editor-in-chief.
www.cbsnews.com www.cbsnews.com

So Bullshit Barbie has been sent out onto the lawn to provide spain early this morning.

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Oh, Petey Pete Pete Pete... tick tock tick tock ⏱️🧟‍♂️☠️⚰️

Opinion | Former Top Pentagon Spokesperson Details ‘Month From Hell’ Inside the Agency

The total chaos at the Department of Defense is becoming a major distraction for the Trump administration, writes John Ullyot.

It’s been a month of total chaos at the Pentagon. From leaks of sensitive operational plans to mass firings, the dysfunction is now a major distraction for the president — who deserves better from his senior leadership.

President Donald Trump has a strong record of holding his top officials to account. Given that, it’s hard to see Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth remaining in his role for much longer.

The latest flashpoint is a near collapse inside the Pentagon’s top ranks. On Friday, Hegseth fired three of his most loyal senior staffers — senior adviser Dan Caldwell, deputy chief of staff Darin Selnick and Colin Carroll, chief of staff to the deputy secretary of Defense. In the aftermath, Defense Department officials working for Hegseth tried to smear the aides anonymously to reporters, claiming they were fired for leaking sensitive information as part of an investigation ordered earlier this month.
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ICE Barbie, the woman in charge of Homeland Security, had her purse containing her DHS access badge stolen at a restaurant yesterday. No word on whether MS13 or Tren de Aragua has claimed responsibility. :rolleyes:

www.cbsnews.com

Kristi Noem's bag stolen with multiple forms of ID, thousands in cash

Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem's driver's license, passport, DHS access badge, checks and thousands in cash were among the items stolen with her bag.
www.cbsnews.com www.cbsnews.com
Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem's purse was stolen Sunday night at a Washington, D.C. restaurant. At the time, the bag contained a number of sensitive personal items including Noem's driver's license, passport, DHS access badge, checks and roughly $3,000 in cash, according to three sources briefed, including two law enforcement officials.

The Secret Service is reviewing security camera footage at the restaurant and has identified a White male suspect who was allegedly wearing a medical mask during the theft. The individual was not immediately spotted by her Secret Service detail, with the bag being discovered lost by Noem herself.
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She apparently needs 3K in cash because her family was around for the holiday,

I gave each of my g-nephews a $100 note instead of chocolate.

How many people are hanging out with the Butcher of South Dakota that she can't use her Visa to slip a bill intheir cards?
 
Hegsetth is toast. Trump will about face if he thinks Congress will impeach Hegseth, and they might.
 
Congress is not going to impeach anyone with an (R) after their name.
 
TX-Beau said:
Congress is not going to impeach anyone with an (R) after their name.
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Never fire the people that know all of your dirty little secrets.

Wait until the next couple of weeks are over, and we'll see.
 
Impeachment requires a pissed off drunk and a public trial.
 
Oh, I'm hearing rumors that Pentagon reporters' phones are blowing up with people torching Hegseth.
 
KaraBulut said:
Oh, I'm hearing rumors that Pentagon reporters' phones are blowing up with people torching Hegseth.
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I'm sure people who spent their lives making a career out of being the best they could be are not amused by a political apointee who's only credential was being an asshole on the internet.
 
And the fun begins... dice are rolling, the knives are out...

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www.politico.com
When President Donald Trump chose Pete Hegseth for Defense secretary, incoming officials knew they’d need to surround the inexperienced Fox News host with accomplished staff who could handle the nation’s largest bureaucracy. Hegseth would be the show horse, they figured, and others at the top would keep the Pentagon on track.

What happened was the opposite. Hegseth surrounded himself with advisers who quickly turned into vicious rivals for power — whose bitter brawl has now unraveled into revenge power plays, surprise firings, accusations of leaking and embarrassing headlines that are blowing up the Pentagon, distracting from Trump’s agenda and possibly jeopardizing Hegseth’s job...

“There is a complete meltdown in the building, and this is really reflecting on the secretary’s leadership,” said a person familiar with the matter. “Pete Hegseth has surrounded himself with some people who don’t have his interests at heart.”
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The dirt involves not only Hegseth, but also the detritus that he has surrounded himself with. He got rid of the women in leadership and insists he's doing the DEI purge that Trump wants, but he's hired his brother and his wife. He's also picked up some MAGA types like Joe Kasper, his now former Chief of Staff.

A longtime aide and friend of indicted Rep. Duncan Hunter, Kasper was helping oversee his office when a series of scandals roiled the California Republican’s office. These included allegations that Hunter regularly drank heavily while serving in Congress. Investigators also inquired about relations he had with a young woman working in his office. He was eventually sentenced to 11 months in prison for misusing taxpayers funds. (He was pardoned by Trump in 2020.)

And at times, Kasper’s detractors say his leadership seemed almost juvenile. He graphically described his bowel movements to colleagues in one high-level meeting, according to two people who were in the meetings.

During that meeting, “he turned [and] he goes, ‘Can I just tell everyone around this table that I just took an enormous shit right before coming in here?’” according to two people who were present.

“People were like, ‘what? Like, this is a business meeting,’” the official said.
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Hegseth might not want drag queens at military bases, but he apparently luvs him some makeup.

www.cbsnews.com

Hegseth orders makeup studio installed at Pentagon

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth has not given any press briefings in the briefing room but has used the room as a backdrop for TV hits with Fox News.
www.cbsnews.com www.cbsnews.com
Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth recently ordered modifications to a room next to the Pentagon press briefing room to retrofit it with a makeup studio that can be used to prepare for television appearances, multiple sources told CBS News.

The price tag for the project was several thousand dollars, according to two of the sources, at a time when the administration is searching for cost-cutting measures...

The renovation that was initially planned was estimated to cost more than $40,000, but the ideas were scaled back, sources said.
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Poor Sean. While plane crash to the ground and airports shut down for lack of air traffic controllers, he's trying to rehire the employees who took the retirement offer.

So many workers at the Transportation Department have accepted a second “fork in the road” deferred resignation offer that some are being asked to reconsider, two people familiar with the matter told POLITICO.

About 4,700 people throughout the department have put in for the second resignation offer, according to three people familiar with the figures, granted anonymity to discuss the matter candidly. That’s about 9 percent of the agency’s total workforce of more than 55,000, the bulk of which — about 45,000 — work at the Federal Aviation Administration.

“It’s a shit show, honestly. I feel for HR because this is a mess they didn’t create,” a DOT employee, granted anonymity because they are not authorized to speak with the media, said of the scramble.
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Call me when Bessent bitchslaps Musk.

Scoop: Musk vs. Bessent dispute erupted into West Wing shouting match

Elon Musk and Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent got into a heated shouting match in earshot of President Trump and other officials in the White House last week during a dispute about the IRS, two witnesses and three sources briefed on the matter tell Axios.

"It was two billionaire, middle-aged men thinking it was WWE in the hall of the West Wing," one witness said of the argument last Thursday. (Bessent's net worth is actually $520 million.)

Why it matters: The clash — with both men in each other's face — showed how much Musk's personality and style have rankled some senior administration officials since he began running roughshod through agencies with DOGE.
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