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Trying so hard to get him

crubbed said:
My lies and my antics have been such a huge part of my life, I don't know if I could ever get rid of them. I lie to my parents, I lie to my teachers in order to get the marks I want, I'm basically a lost cause. But after reading your posts I'm starting to wonder whether these lies are the ones that are digging the hole inside of me that I feel, and that I try to fulfil with Marks, Sages, Sachas or whatever. This hole is so empty that I feel it's devouring me. Some deep soul searching is in order for me. Well, anyway. Sorry for the OT pitiful rant.
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You can absolutely positively get rid of your lying habits. I am living proof of this :) You just need to take a step back and realize that your lies are a problem (and they are as several other people have already mentioned). You have to keep reminding yourself not to lie before you're about to. I think when you realize how much less stress there is in being honest, you'll enjoy it a lot more and that'll become the new "drug" per se.

I actually used to be one of the best liars I knew of when I was fully-closeted -- carefully crafting my lies and manipulating people to my advantage. But now that I'm more out I actually find it hard to lie to people. The freedom of being able to express myself openly is an incredible feeling, and I don't want to lose it. I understand the feeling of lying to be able to control situations better, but if you really think about it, you are probably either delaying the inevitable for the same outcome with added stress, or the lie will backfire on you. And if you're like me, those situations will play through your head over and over, and the "what ifs" will run rampantly. I promise you that in due time you will feel a considerable amount of weight lift off your shoulders once you get in the habit of being honest.

Lying is a lot of work!
 
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