valle12tom
JUB Addict
- Joined
- Jul 16, 2004
- Posts
- 2,214
- Reaction score
- 7
- Points
- 0
- Location
- Somewhere in Western North Carolina
Middle of the week guys and what are you doing this week? Are you having fun yet?
A friend I met on JUB a while back was gone and then today showed up again and reconnected. That is the thing I hate about the internet and relationships on the internet. You just have no way of knowing where somebody went to and how they are doing or even if they are are sick or well or OK. It is frustrating to say the least. But I was glad he was OK and stopped back by JUB and said hello. It is always nice to reconnect with an old friend.
But it got me thinking about my writing and why I stopped. I was addicted to my stories and my writing and what I was writing was taking over my life. I was just like an addict of alcohol or drugs. I needed the rush my writing gave me. I had to have it and I was stopping much of my life to feed the need the writing gave me. I was living in my stories and my life was suffering. My work and my social life was going downhill because I could not manage my need and craving for writing and what I had to do for a living and to make money.
I needed to be in each of my stories and it was so hard to write about a life I could never have but wanted so desperatly. I was starting to hurt deep inside my soul and that was not good.
So I quit and went Cold Turkey. I had to do it that way. So now I need to look deep inside myself and find a way to write and not let the stories take over my life. That is what is taking me so long. I haven't found the balance yet and life has to have balance or it gets out of wack and that is not good for anybody. I need that harmony.
I also have this desire to please those around me and that means you and all my readers. I want to please people. that comes form a childhood of neglect and beatings and abuse. My basic human instincts are to please everyone so as not to get hurt. And this craving to please people made me want to write stories that appealed to all kinds of people. I kept writng as people kept reading and asking me to write and telling me they liked what I was writng. I wanted to tell stories that would resonate with people. Fat people, the outside people, the nerdy people, the abused people and the popular people (of which I was never one). I wanted to tell them the story from my side of view. Does that make sense?
Does anyone understand my ranting today? These thoughts?
I mean if I had no life outside of writing it would be OK and I could and would spend all my waking hours doing research and writing my stories but I don't have that luxury yet in my life. I have to earn a living.
So there you have it guys. My life in a nutshell.
The temperatures are supposed to drop 30-40 degrees this afternnon. We may get some snow showers and it is supposed to be down in the 20's. All will freeze tonight so I must get out and enjoy the tulips and other flowers toady while they are still able to hold their heads up high.
peace and lots of hugs today as I wrestle with this craving inside.
A friend I met on JUB a while back was gone and then today showed up again and reconnected. That is the thing I hate about the internet and relationships on the internet. You just have no way of knowing where somebody went to and how they are doing or even if they are are sick or well or OK. It is frustrating to say the least. But I was glad he was OK and stopped back by JUB and said hello. It is always nice to reconnect with an old friend.
But it got me thinking about my writing and why I stopped. I was addicted to my stories and my writing and what I was writing was taking over my life. I was just like an addict of alcohol or drugs. I needed the rush my writing gave me. I had to have it and I was stopping much of my life to feed the need the writing gave me. I was living in my stories and my life was suffering. My work and my social life was going downhill because I could not manage my need and craving for writing and what I had to do for a living and to make money.
I needed to be in each of my stories and it was so hard to write about a life I could never have but wanted so desperatly. I was starting to hurt deep inside my soul and that was not good.
So I quit and went Cold Turkey. I had to do it that way. So now I need to look deep inside myself and find a way to write and not let the stories take over my life. That is what is taking me so long. I haven't found the balance yet and life has to have balance or it gets out of wack and that is not good for anybody. I need that harmony.
I also have this desire to please those around me and that means you and all my readers. I want to please people. that comes form a childhood of neglect and beatings and abuse. My basic human instincts are to please everyone so as not to get hurt. And this craving to please people made me want to write stories that appealed to all kinds of people. I kept writng as people kept reading and asking me to write and telling me they liked what I was writng. I wanted to tell stories that would resonate with people. Fat people, the outside people, the nerdy people, the abused people and the popular people (of which I was never one). I wanted to tell them the story from my side of view. Does that make sense?
Does anyone understand my ranting today? These thoughts?
I mean if I had no life outside of writing it would be OK and I could and would spend all my waking hours doing research and writing my stories but I don't have that luxury yet in my life. I have to earn a living.
So there you have it guys. My life in a nutshell.
The temperatures are supposed to drop 30-40 degrees this afternnon. We may get some snow showers and it is supposed to be down in the 20's. All will freeze tonight so I must get out and enjoy the tulips and other flowers toady while they are still able to hold their heads up high.
peace and lots of hugs today as I wrestle with this craving inside.




















My banana would be dancing all the time then! I would probably wear the thing out.




