What’s this “Baby Mama” and “Baby Daddy” thing.

[willhunt]

I heart you

I heart you too. Let's trot out the same old ponies, for the children and their folks.

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

I heart you too. Let's trot out the same old ponies, for the children and their folks.

one day they'll listen

 

[KrisGreen]

Yes.

It is trashy.

I wanted to say that but didn’t. It’s not even a racial thing it’s people every where saying it. There was a movie called Baby Mama with all white women in it

 

[KrisGreen]

The world has become The Maury Povich Show.

It really has and in many ways not just this example. Back in the day kids respected their parents more. Now they openly talk back and question them in public for everyone to see. Decades ago that was unheard of.

 

[KrisGreen]

yay, another mock urban culture thread. haven't had one of those in, like, 4 minutes

Please don’t make this an adult on urban culture because it isn’t. Most people who have used it around me are white and many in rural areas. White rednecks are even saying it.

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

Please don’t make this an adult on urban culture because it isn’t. Most people who have used it around me are white and many in rural areas. White rednecks are even saying it.

white rednecks are making trap music too, this term is clearly born from black culture and while I concede it may not have been YOUR intent to mock my culture, those who get off on it sniff out threads like this like a bloodhound, as an opportunity to sneak insult black America under the guise of jest, which isn't clever enough to fly over my head.

but I get it, poking fun at other cultures is like oxygen to Americans.

 

[Draven]

Or maybe stop being preemptively offended for two fucking minutes to realize that what the OP is pointing out is the intellectual deterioration of society, but no let us instead jerk our knees back and view everything as an attack on "(insert marginalized group here) culture".

 

[Dominus]

A couple years ago, I took one of my girl friends to visit a childhood friend of hers in cook county jail (Chicago area). He was being tried for child molestation as a swim instructor. I didn't know the dude, so I just stood around as she talked to him. While there, I noticed that 7 out of 10 visitors were pregnant women. It was obvious the men they were visiting were their baby daddies by their demeanors.

What was going through my head was this. You'd think biological instincts would have made these women pick better men than thugs to father their children.

There are plenty of good, hard working men out there. But I guess they lack excitement, or some other BS.

 

[NotHardUp1]

It boils down to lowered expectations. Individuals, communities, cultures, and even nations are guilty. It's a fight everyone has to take up. It's not something anyone should accept.

 

[Dominus]

It boils down to lowered expectations. Individuals, communities, cultures, and even nations are guilty. It's a fight everyone has to take up. It's not something anyone should accept.

But it is suppose to be the case that people should try to get the best deal they can get regardless of lowered expectations.

Like for example, ladies here is a real catch. A minimum wage earner fathered 30+ kids with 11 women.

I mean, I understand lowered expectations and all. For example, I will never be with a guy like Prince Charming. But come on. What were these women thinking?

I'm just saying. When a group of people put more value on a minimum wage earner and thugs who repeatedly get incarcerated over good hard working men, there is something wrong with how our society works.

My husband has 2 younger sisters. They're actually not bad looking. In fact, they are pretty attractive by the straight guys standard. Both got pregnant before 17 with guys who are now in prison. I actually met one of these dudes back before he got incarcerated. He was working part time at McDonald's. Also a dufus if you ask me. I also met his parents, who complained to me that "he doesn't want to do nothing".

After the dude went away, she ended up with another real catch. She came home one day and found him molesting her toddler daughter.

I'll be frank. A girl like her only needs to snap her fingers and all the nerdy Asian guys with straight A's in school will line up for her. Somehow she ended with two real winners.

 

[Draven]

Bad boy + dumb girl = a dire situation.

 

[NotHardUp1]

The phenomena occurs all over the world, in every culture.

The explosion of it exposes a societal failure. a lack of a braking mechanism.

Some countries force a marriage.

Some people abort a bastard.

Some cultures stone the girl or kill the guy.

Some societies force the guy's family to buy the bride.

But, in our culture, the brakes have been removed. The man is not stigmatized nor is he punished. He's not even tied to child support if he isn't taken to court or a DNA test performed. He is free to continue siring bastards at large. It cost him nothing. And if he is from a culture where he's not a worker, he has no downside, as he can't be forced to pay what he doesn't earn.

And, the mother likewise not incentivized to stop having bastards. Her income isn't coming from the father anyway. In some places, her mother is the surrogate parent, and in others, she is just idle with more children.

It sets up a cycle that is more likely than not to repeat itself, to engender poverty, to abort education, and increase crime and despair.

So much of it was preventable if they had waited, if they had finished school, and if they had studied and learned while in school instead of marking time and blowing off everything in the classes. Scholarships could have been earned. More education would have opened more job doors. More education would have envisioned a world outside the slums or dead rural spots.

 

[PrinceCory]

I'm old enough that in the professional setting we used the term "birth father." Later it was acceptable to use "bio dad" instead of "biological dad." Then when dealing with the public many seemed confused or maybe it was just unexpected to hear the term "bio dad." But everyone (especially with the younger) knew what was meant by "baby daddy."

I don't think we were being dis-respective.

 

[gsdx]

I don't think we were being dis-respective.

I hear the term 'Baby Daddy' quite often in the few court shows I watch, and it doesn't seem to be said disrespectfully, but every time I hear it, I get the distinct feeling that the father is not 'in the picture', nor is there any real connection or involvement with his child(ren).

 

[NotHardUp1]

I'm old enough that in the professional setting we used the term "birth father." Later it was acceptable to use "bio dad" instead of "biological dad." Then when dealing with the public many seemed confused or maybe it was just unexpected to hear the term "bio dad." But everyone (especially with the younger) knew what was meant by "baby daddy."

I don't think we were being dis-respective.

I would proffer that "baby daddy" is intentionally respect-neutral. It normalizes a societal relationship that most of society does not respect. Most of society believes that parenting isn't merely biological but social, and would likewise conclude that accepting absent fatherhood is a rot, and inherently harmful to children, and to society.

If a man is not expected to actually BE a father, then why is a special term needed? He is her ex, or he is the child's father, present/absent/divorced. "Baby daddy" attempts to add a new relationship that too often is in loose satellite orbit.

"Baby mama" is an even more bizarre aberration. It is likely much more rare for a father to be raising children absent of the mother.

 

[mcbrion]

As much as I am in favor of children, and marriage, I'm not sure how the latter protects the former.

Presuming the baby daddies had been married to the mothers, does anyone think the ultimate end would be different? Divorce is rampant across the classes. If poor people divorce, they often are left with little more than the baby mama crowd on tabloid TV.

Not Hard Up? just stifle yourself, okay. Damn! Don't you (white) people (Thank you, Ross Perot) know how to go to Urban Dictionaries and look up the word, or is that too high falutin' for your intelligence levels? And you in particular, NOT HARD UP, are hard up on understanding without filtering it through that Lily White, oblivious mind of your that has a broken translator. "Mine's for mine." That's more common in "ghetto parlance," which I'm sorry to inform you, eliminates most Black people over 40. Maybe you could research your stats before making semi-racist statements. Keep in mind the Chinese proverb: "It is better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt." You'd do well to chant this 50 times before writing.

"Baby Daddy" is someone who had ONE OF THE CHILDREN with a woman he didn't marry. In Black culture (mine, so that makes ME the expert, so suck it up and learn), either a man or a woman can be a baby daddy when he's/she's had SEVERAL children by women/men they didn't marry. If it's just one child he had with one woman, it's not looked at sideways in Black culture (although some bitchy people will dispute that), but if he/she continues to have children by other partners they don't marry, then it's TRULY looked at as baby daddy or baby mama syndrome.
May I suggest next time you venture in the language of other cultures, you study their usage, and not try to fit it into your mainstream Caucasian thinking. It doesn't work and more than a White person coming up to a Black person and saying, "Yo, it's all good." It DOES NOT man "everything is good." It CAN mean that, but it also means, "Don't worry about it, it's okay." It's used to say, I understand/ I ain't holding you responsible/ it's okay/not your fault.
I don't guess at what "Arrête de te la péter'" means if I try to translate it into English.
In other works, don't to obtuse. Use the urban dictionary if you have curiosity about Black slang.
And I assure you, Tina Fey was NEVER a 'Baby Mama' no matter what that dumb movie title was... a surrogate is not a "baby mama', and neither is the woman who ends up with the child.

 

[Dominus]

^ That why the rate of kids born outside of wedlock among blacks is around 80% nowadays? Black community shooting for 100%?

 

[NotHardUp1]

That's more common in "ghetto parlance," which I'm sorry to inform you, eliminates most Black people over 40. Maybe you could research your stats before making semi-racist statements. .

Suggesting that pronoun misuse is new, by any of the races or cultures, is laughable. At least half the time someone says "for you and I" on the radio, regardless of class or race. "Mines" was common when I taught almost 40 years ago, and those kids were 15, so that doesn't exactly fit your anecdotal cutoff, Henry Higgins, and it had nothing to do with urban ghettos.

Suggesting that "baby daddy" didn't originate in ghetto parlance is equally laughable As far as racism goes, the entire thread has been very clear that the prevalence of the problem is broad, not limited to blacks. That ghetto blacks began using the term isn't a racial slur, but a linguistic truth.

If the black subculture can be proud of the pop culture and slang it promulgates in the larger culture, then it can also own the terms that are not as flattering.

Suggesting that the black linguistics of "baby daddy" are not an embarrassment to middle class blacks who quickly distance themselves from such trashy thinking is not credible.

What's not laughable is the detrimental effect of thinking in terms of "baby daddy." It's a cancer.

You can substitute "underserved" if the cultural origins have touched a nerve. I believe that is the current PC term for ghetto-ites.

 

[KrisGreen]

Or maybe stop being preemptively offended for two fucking minutes to realize that what the OP is pointing out is the intellectual deterioration of society, but no let us instead jerk our knees back and view everything as an attack on "(insert marginalized group here) culture".

Thank you. I didn’t wanna respond after that. I heard it first from white people when I was friends with people next to a trailer park next to where I lived at the time. All nice people but it’s like all the Iran white Girl’s became Baby mamas instead of MOTHERS. Using those terms is talking ignorant on purpose. 70% of the time I’ve heard that term it was by white people. And I have to ask why you can’t say MOTHER/Mom/Mommy/single mother with a deadbeat father. People know these terms they CHOOSE to talk trashy.

This goes for a lot of things in modern American culture. Back then if someone screamed for help in front of an apartment building, someone called the police and/or went outside to stop whatever. Now usually it’s ignored. I find that disturbing. A gang initiation was happening in front of my complex. This guy was shouting for help and finally I screamed out what the fuck. They said “This is some gang Yo!” I called the police and went downstairs as they got there.

 

[72-Jay]

So I guess those terms truly are a common thing then? I really haven't heard anyone use them.
Maybe because I don't watch much TV, especially stuff like those trashy shows that was mentioned in some posts above
Maybe also because I live outside city limits, and also basically don't 'go out'