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On Topic Discussion What do you think about bisexuals?

I'm curious as to what constitutes "wearing it on your sleeve", considering I have seen people from both extremes using that term. One side being people that are claiming they are not stereotypical homosexuals and those who consider revealing your sexuality at all in conversation is also wearing it on ones sleeve.
 
MakeDigitalLove said:
I'm curious as to what constitutes "wearing it on your sleeve", considering I have seen people from both extremes using that term. One side being people that are claiming they are not stereotypical homosexuals and those who consider revealing your sexuality at all in conversation is also wearing it on ones sleeve.
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Not sure I fit in either category but the likely closer to the latter. Even though Don't Ask, Don't Tell has been repealed, there is still a perception that someone who speaks out blatantly on their orientation might be a political activist which is something discouraged among folks holding security clearances. Perhaps if I didn't have a family that is dependent on my maintaining my clearance and the job dependent on it I would be more open on it but as it is my intent is not to be seen as someone out to make waves. I do my best to be honest about it, I don't hide my views and as I said I've decided that if someone came straight out and asked me I will tell them. But I spent in the 80's and 90's in the military, where it wasn't a choice if you wanted to keep your job and I do have people who depend on me, so its become an old comfortable coat to wear to not make a big issue of it.
 
xbuzzerx said:
That's as arbitrary as everything else being questioned.
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....and?

fet·ish

a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc.


I typed that quote because I thought the definition of fetish in this context was understood. Apparently not. So there's the definition.

A penis certainly qualifies as a body part. Basing a orientation on a body part (straight-liking opposite genitalia/gay- liking only the same genitalia) is a mighty fine definition of a fetish. If one were so inclined.

Mind you, that's not my definition of gay so I don't consider it a fetish. I don't consider the above definition an automatic fetish either - although it certainly can be.

And I'm still waiting on how lacking sexual attraction but liking people + sex is somehow a psychological problem. You'll notice I'm not the one basing anything on sexual attraction. Or exhibitionism, since I'm not much of one. And while I have fetishes, it isn't sex itself. Otherwise every 14yr old with a magazine and five minutes would be considered to have a mental disorder. Go second puberty. Woo.
 
*That is, if one's definition of sexual attraction is physical attraction. Mine is more of a mental attraction. I've never gotten much from the physical, which I usually find dull. Really, really dull. Probably due to a combination of artistic capability in youth and low vision. Like working in a restaurant, you don't want to dine there because the food no longer holds that appeal.

*Dammit,

"And while I have fetishes, it isn't sex itself" was supposed to read "sex itself, for me, isn't one". Since I don't consider arousal because I want sex a fetish. Way to go for clarity.

And for something you just called arbitrary, you haven't answered or given your reasoning on any of it. Besides calling it arbitrary. So do you have any reasonings, or is it just one of those gut reactions that so few people like to explore?
 
travis82 said:
I don't get some bisexuals.

They are married to the opposite gender, yet they feel the need to declare and announce they are bisexual ( on facebook, their profile says " interested in men and women")


Who cares? You are happily married and living a heterosexual life just like the rest of the people in the society. Your marriage is blissful and perfect. You have a great career, family and kids. You don't have to deal with bullying or discrimination like we gay people do.

And it doesn't look like you are going to divorce your partner to be with your own gender anytime soon. You might just as well keep your bisexuality to yourself and continuing living that seemingly perfect heterosexual life like everyone else.


This is how I feel when I discovered some of my "straight" married male friends who declare themselves to be bisexual on facebook.
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Because they are "out and proud"?

Of course your example goes against those who like to point out the "heterosexual privilege" that bisexuals get. If a bisexual can elude detection by living a "straight life", why would he want to out himself as anything other than straight?
 
luckynumbah7 said:
....and?
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Your post has absolutely nothing to do with the point I was addressing. A sexuality divorced from any particular interest in individuals or genders and focused only on sex acts itself would in and of itself be a type of fetish... not a sexuality.
 
xbuzzerx said:
Your post has absolutely nothing to do with the point I was addressing. A sexuality divorced from any particular interest in individuals or genders and focused only on sex acts itself would in and of itself be a type of fetish... not a sexuality.
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I think of a fetish as some sort of implement or procedure that a person becomes dependent on to enjoy their sexuality with another person.

If the other person is irrelevant because the attraction is focussed exclusively on the object, I'm not sure I would call that a fetish. I don't think I'd call it a sexual orientation either...probably just some kind of disorder.

Someone who wants to always fuck his boyfriend or girlfriend on a bridge has a fetish. Someone who wants to fuck the bridge itself isn't bridgeosexual, they're just kind of fucked.
 
Sorry. Regarding my earlier post on bisexuals, I didn't meant to offend anybody.

I am truly and sincerely sorry.


It's just that I feel that bisexuals can always have that option of living a "normal" life, free from discrimination and bullying.

But we gay don't have that privilege.


Once again, I'm sorry if I offend anyone. That was never my intention. :-)
 
^ At least you did apologise. I'm still waiting for that sexist OP to make one.

Not that it ever will.
 
@Buzzers,

A sexuality divorced from any particular interest in individuals or genders and focused only on sex acts itself would in and of itself be a type of fetish... not a sexuality.

Interest in individuals, yes, I've got that, but not sexual orientation defined by sexual attraction as yet again defined by physical attraction, usually equaling specific genitalia while conflating genitalia with gender. As evidenced by much of the population thinking your genitalia is your guide to describing their sexual orientation.

Which is how most lpeople use it. Which, I'll note, is not the complete definition of sexual orientation. There are things besides physical attraction to specific genitalia when considering orientation. Sexual orientation, when discussed in a group setting rarely to never includes the other things that make up orientation. Other characteristics not based on genitalia, romantic attachment, emotional attachment. These are often included as afterthoughts in such discussions, if at all. Which is odd, to discuss sexual orientation and chop off two thirds of it before we've even begun.

On a 'discussion' (and I use the term loosely) of bisexuality, I'd think people might want to start at the basics. What is gender, what is sex, how do various cultures and groups interpret those things and then meander off to the all-encompassing, completely fucking stupid question of "What do you think about bisexuality". When the question is that broad and that loaded with assumption and innuendo, might as well flush it down the crapper and call it a day.


bankside said:
I think of a fetish as some sort of implement or procedure that a person becomes dependent on to enjoy their sexuality with another person.

Someone who wants to always fuck his boyfriend or girlfriend on a bridge has a fetish. Someone who wants to fuck the bridge itself isn't bridgeosexual, they're just kind of fucked.
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Eh, you don't need another person to have a sexual fetish. Shoes come to mind. There's several 'used underwear' threads floating around here that qualifies as well. As for the bridge, they had both an emotional attachment and a fetish, to my understanding. Memory might not serve though, it's been a decade or so.
 
travis82 said:
Sorry. Regarding my earlier post on bisexuals, I didn't meant to offend anybody.

I am truly and sincerely sorry.


It's just that I feel that bisexuals can always have that option of living a "normal" life, free from discrimination and bullying.

But we gay don't have that privilege.


Once again, I'm sorry if I offend anyone. That was never my intention. :-)
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Good on you :) But with that said, it depresses me that you consider straight life "normal" and being able to pass as straight "a privilege"...
 
travis82 said:
I don't get some bisexuals.

They are married to the opposite gender, yet they feel the need to declare and announce they are bisexual ( on facebook, their profile says " interested in men and women")


Who cares? You are happily married and living a heterosexual life just like the rest of the people in the society. Your marriage is blissful and perfect. You have a great career, family and kids. You don't have to deal with bullying or discrimination like we gay people do.

And it doesn't look like you are going to divorce your partner to be with your own gender anytime soon. You might just as well keep your bisexuality to yourself and continuing living that seemingly perfect heterosexual life like everyone else.


This is how I feel when I discovered some of my "straight" married male friends who declare themselves to be bisexual on facebook.
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THIS is what I mean by heterosexual privilege. At least you get it. Thank you ..|
 
ScottishBiTeen said:
Whose imagination would this be, if you don't mind me asking?
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An ancient Minoan woman who thought it would be really hot. She asked her husband to try it out, but he didn't like it so she wrote an epic about a man who pursued romances with both a man and a woman. Her husband didn't that like that either, but it inspired him to copy it and replace the protagonist with a woman which his friends thoroughly enjoyed and some suggested that the male character wasn't really necessary. His wife was annoyed with him fantasising about another woman at first, but then he pointed out that she did the same thing first and that he hadn't asked her sleep with another woman so she forgot about the plagiarism.

Unfortunately, both epics have been lost to time so we may never know which lover was chosen first, which one they settled down with or if the male and female protagonists courted their lovers in the same order. Some even say that they didn't actually court both lovers, they merely courted one and thought about the other. And then there are the versions which say that they fell in love with one and had physical/platonic relationships with the other. The people who the keep story alive today can't decide and thus we don't the proper way to be bisexual.
 
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