On Topic Discussion What do you think about bisexuals?

[bankside]

It is a good comparison. Although I'll add that is what gay or bi people are often told as youths by straight people. The "How can you be sure....", that is.

To that, I'd say any young person gets a free pass if they don't even actually know what they are.

 

[luckynumbah7]

I am talking about bisexuality and the reasons for why it's acceptable to straight MEN (who form the majority of heteorsexual opinion).

You are talking about bisexual women specifically, and random factors around them.

We are not talking about the same thing. Get with the program.

I'm talking about several things, all in reply to what you've claimed in various posts (which, I'll note, you brought up first) that happen to be flat out wrong. Like pretending wanting to fuck some woman (whether bisexual or not) is 'acceptance' of that bisexual identity that women have while not accepting the bisexuality of men. I explained how it wasn't acceptance unless you have a sexist view of acceptance, but you're still....what are you doing, anyway? Whining? It sounds like whining.

I'll take this time to point out everyone gets indoctrinated, here, and that it isn't a smear on your character. Unless you're informed of it and refuse to do work on it, in which case, your character has flaws your possible women dates need to be aware of. Fortunately, the great bulk already are.

Upwards and onwards and all that.

 

[xbuzzerx]

Because it's who the person is. It's who he is, not the gender of who he's dating. We allow virgin youths to come out as gay and we don't say "Why do you even label yourself that way? You haven't even been with anyone yet. You should call yourself asexual at best..."

Are the guys with chronic Craig's List ads for M-M sex straight, as self-labelled?

 

[IceColdLover]

That they must have difficult lives, having 2 options but not knowing which to choose, and if they should choose at all.

 

[luckynumbah7]

To that, I'd say any young person gets a free pass if they don't even actually know what they are.

Well yes, but there's a difference between giving someone a pass because they're learning and a straight parent going "But you still might NOT be, dammit!" when someone says they also/like men/women.

 

[bankside]

Could not possibly agree more.

Good. We all agree then. Deeee lightful.

People fooling themselves shouldn't. Or at least they shouldn't fool us.

But I can't accept 60/40 or 70/30 as being the cut-off for a "legitimate bisexual" or whatever.

The numbers are wrong. If someone is attracted to 9 women for every 1 man, I still think they have every right to the bi label. In most people's lives, those are real-world odds.

It's when they're desperately clinging to hope that they'll potentially one day find one attractive woman for every hundred men they've actually everyday dreamt of fucking, marrying, holding in each other's arms, every night for the last 5 years, that when I'd say they're fooling themselves.

And I do think that good happy monogamous couples should be able to play true confessions with each other, and own up to their attractions, even <home alone face>kinky freakish attractions like heterosexual ones. </home alone face>

 

[luckynumbah7]

Are the guys with chronic Craig's List ads for M-M sex straight, as self-labelled?

I'm actually pretty sure most of those are gay guys just looking for a blowjob. Put that you're straight in an ad and gay guys flock. Go figure. /sarcasm

The ones who actually are straight generally look for trans women. Even though god knows they also have, er, extreme baggage, which is one reason there's quite a few who end up paying. Who the hell wants to be with someone that contains a trolley full of luggage, I ask you?

Mind you, I'm guessing up there. Actually, hold that guess, I'm going to go do a poll, if this thread is still going at the end of the weekend I'll post the results.

 

[bankside]

Well yes, but there's a difference between giving someone a pass because they're learning and a straight parent going "But you still might NOT be, dammit!" when someone says they also/like men/women.

Oh absolutely. I agree with that and I was trying to say it in an earlier post in this thread about the disadvantages faced by bisexuals compared with gays, but I think I gave up for want of the words.

Narrow minded parents of gays have to confront the gay reality when the kid comes out. Narrow minded parents of bisexuals are more likely to "cling to hope" that their kid will "go with the good half" of their sexuality and "come out normal." That's a hassle and a burden that gays don't have to deal with.

 

[Vitamin]

That would be why most hetero porn has lesbian sex in it, right?

What hetero men don't like is "dykes" - butch lesbians that you can tell hate dick. Lipsticks they drool over because it's two women that will potentially have a threesome with them.

That's part of it I'm sure, but at the same time it's difficult for me to see a straight guy being sexually attracted to manliness, even if it does happen to have a vagina.

 

[luckynumbah7]

Someone should do a poll on here asking gay and bi men to state self identity and ask if they've ever said they were straight to get dick. Make it anonymous, be interesting about the results.

 

[luckynumbah7]

That's part of it I'm sure, but at the same time it's difficult for me to see a straight guy being sexually attracted to manliness, even if it does happen to have a vagina.

Half the guys I fuck are straight. The rest are gay and bi. Probably mostly bi, but there's at least four or five gay men in there somewhere. Mind you, there's plenty of gay guys on craigslist that I have no intention of sleeping with. It's one of those "More things in Heaven and earth, Horatio" kinda things.

Granted, that's including the three or four I've had stop by and change their mind. For some reason some straight men really do seem to think vagina is just vagina until they remember there's a body attached.*

Which is, I think, why some of the guys on various websites have started putting 'experience with ftm's", and some of those were clearly lieing.

 

[luckynumbah7]

*wait, there's also four women. So take four off roughly 32 or so, divide by two, and then divide one of those halves by two. So four women, 14 gay/bi men, and 14 straight men of which four of them changed their minds after they arrived. And there's not exactly a plethora of straight men who're after already transitioning ftm's, I've damn near exhausted the current lot regarding age range and non-skeevyness in Philly.

And now I'll go finish making those cake pops for one of those "you're not really bi..." claims to show up because waiting so's I can give 'em the finger isn't quite worth the effort.

*And by changed their minds, I mean "Got a blowjob and then either faked a phonecall from their mother and/or simply esxplained that they changed their minds. Frankly, I prefer the latter response before a blowjob.

 

[xbuzzerx]

I'm actually pretty sure most of those are gay guys just looking for a blowjob. Put that you're straight in an ad and gay guys flock. Go figure. /sarcasm

I'm pretty sure you're right.

The point should have been obvious though. People can label however they want and that doesn't bestow upon it an unquestionable, unimpeachable truthfulness.

 

[xbuzzerx]

Narrow minded parents of gays have to confront the gay reality when the kid comes out. Narrow minded parents of bisexuals are more likely to "cling to hope" that their kid will "go with the good half" of their sexuality and "come out normal." That's a hassle and a burden that gays don't have to deal with.

That "burden" also allows moderately phobic friends neighbors relatives and coworkers to at least regard you as half-salvageable. If you can at least appear to be into pussy, there's a lot of straight guys who just regard gay men as completely alien who at least feel they can somewhat relate to you.

I can't go along with the idea that there's more intolerance or more stigma heaped on bisexuals than gays, even though that's a common theme of these threads. Or that more social doors are closed to bisexual people than to gay people. It's just the opposite.

The whole stereotype that bi's are all about sex, promiscuous, or untrustworthy is as widely (if not moreso) the stereotype of gay people, so that's nothing special that hits them either. And gays are talked about a hell of a lot more than bisexual people.

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

Oh absolutely. I agree with that and I was trying to say it in an earlier post in this thread about the disadvantages faced by bisexuals compared with gays, but I think I gave up for want of the words.

Narrow minded parents of gays have to confront the gay reality when the kid comes out. Narrow minded parents of bisexuals are more likely to "cling to hope" that their kid will "go with the good half" of their sexuality and "come out normal." That's a hassle and a burden that gays don't have to deal with.

Actually it is a burden gays have to deal with, when it comes to Parents who consider it a phase or who think sexuality can be cured.

 

[cgymike]

Just a sellout..that's what they are.

 

[blackbeltninja]

My position is not contradictory. My position is that if someone pursues one gender even to the point of complete exclusivity, I'm not sure where either the bisexual identity, or the insistence on asserting it, has a clear motivation other than avoidance of a homosexual label.

Hopefully that's clear enough.

This thread pissed me off enough to disappear for the last 10 days or so and frankly I'm still not sure I want to come back, but I will say this and hope nobody else has said it in the last few days:

You're a mixed-race guy, Buzzer, that right? Would it not piss you off to no end if someone told you "you look more XYZ than ABC, so that's what you actually are. And that's what you should tell people you are."



I'm bisexual. I'm not gay; if I was, I'd say so. That's my motivation. It really is that simple, and hopefully that too is clear enough.

-d-

 

[medic1]

^Seems pretty clear to me, oh yeah, well said.

 

[luckynumbah7]

Actually it is a burden gays have to deal with, when it comes to Parents who consider it a phase or who think sexuality can be cured.

Both have the same amount of shit to deal with, it just occasionally manifests in different ways. Most people can pass for straight (almost about anyone can take advantage of that; what someone has to do to keep their mental health and what someone can do are not the same thing) and most people's parents hope their kid is straight and that it's 'just a phase', no matter which gay/bi orientation the kid tells them. Pretty similar when you get to the bare bones of the situation.

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

Both have the same amount of shit to deal with, it just occasionally manifests in different ways. Most people can pass for straight (almost about anyone can take advantage of that; what someone has to do to keep their mental health and what someone can do are not the same thing) and most people's parents hope their kid is straight and that it's 'just a phase', no matter which gay/bi orientation the kid tells them. Pretty similar when you get to the bare bones of the situation.

Yep, agreed.