On Topic Discussion What do you think about bisexuals?

[Rolyo85]

No, it's about people taking that fact and using it to say that no bi person can be trusted or that bisexuality doesn't even exist.

That hasn't been in the last few pages since I've been in the conversation.

 

[Rolyo85]

This thread pissed me off enough to disappear for the last 10 days or so and frankly I'm still not sure I want to come back, but I will say this and hope nobody else has said it in the last few days:

You're a mixed-race guy, Buzzer, that right? Would it not piss you off to no end if someone told you "you look more XYZ than ABC, so that's what you actually are. And that's what you should tell people you are."



I'm bisexual. I'm not gay; if I was, I'd say so. That's my motivation. It really is that simple, and hopefully that too is clear enough.

-d-

Yes, because race and sexuality really are the same, and therefore totally fair game to compare...

 

[Rolyo85]

Half the guys I fuck are straight. The rest are gay and bi. Probably mostly bi, but there's at least four or five gay men in there somewhere. Mind you, there's plenty of gay guys on craigslist that I have no intention of sleeping with. It's one of those "More things in Heaven and earth, Horatio" kinda things.

Granted, that's including the three or four I've had stop by and change their mind. For some reason some straight men really do seem to think vagina is just vagina until they remember there's a body attached.*

Which is, I think, why some of the guys on various websites have started putting 'experience with ftm's", and some of those were clearly lieing.

1. How do you define a "straight" guy?

2. How many bi guys have you fucked, approximately?

3. Where do you meet the guys you fuck?

 

[Stardreamer]

That "burden" also allows moderately phobic friends neighbors relatives and coworkers to at least regard you as half-salvageable. If you can at least appear to be into pussy, there's a lot of straight guys who just regard gay men as completely alien who at least feel they can somewhat relate to you.

I can't go along with the idea that there's more intolerance or more stigma heaped on bisexuals than gays, even though that's a common theme of these threads. Or that more social doors are closed to bisexual people than to gay people. It's just the opposite.

The whole stereotype that bi's are all about sex, promiscuous, or untrustworthy is as widely (if not moreso) the stereotype of gay people, so that's nothing special that hits them either. And gays are talked about a hell of a lot more than bisexual people.

I don't think that bisexuals get more intolerance and bigotry than gays, I think what we find so surprising and disappointing is that we get so much of FROM gays who you would think would be more understanding.

 

[luckynumbah7]

1. How do you define a "straight" guy?

I didn't. Straight is by their own labelling.

2. How many bi guys have you fucked, approximately?

You missed the math. In other words if I didn't put it down in approximations I don't have it in approximations. Asking isn't going to make it so.

3. Where do you meet the guys you fuck?

Earth. What the hell makes you think I meet them all online and that I keep a running tally of everything else? Hell, the tally on gender was rough, the only reason I can tell the straight from the bi and gay apart is that after so many straight men screwing up I ditched the great bulk of them. Tends to make their numbers low, considering they were thrown overboard not too long ago.

And no, you're not getting the names or places of any hangouts I happen to have, online or off. I'd rather you didn't visit, you see. Among other possible consequences. Just because there's quite a few trans people in the city doesn't mean I'm going to volunteer where I float around.

 

[bankside]

That "burden" also allows moderately phobic friends neighbors relatives and coworkers to at least regard you as half-salvageable. If you can at least appear to be into pussy, there's a lot of straight guys who just regard gay men as completely alien who at least feel they can somewhat relate to you.

I can't go along with the idea that there's more intolerance or more stigma heaped on bisexuals than gays, even though that's a common theme of these threads. Or that more social doors are closed to bisexual people than to gay people. It's just the opposite.

The whole stereotype that bi's are all about sex, promiscuous, or untrustworthy is as widely (if not moreso) the stereotype of gay people, so that's nothing special that hits them either. And gays are talked about a hell of a lot more than bisexual people.

Actually I've seen this point in some form at least a couple of times in this thread, and it needs to be addressed head on.

The prejudice in society is against minority sexualities. It is not directed against gays while sparing bisexuals.

"Moderately phobic friends neighbours, relatives and co-workers" do not find bisexuality more relatable than homosexuality. The only prejudiced people who think bisexuality is "somewhat relatable" would be the closeted gay guys who pretend to be bi, in the false hope that staking out an interest in the odd tittie will be enough to salvage their reputation in the eyes of other prejudiced people.

 

[luckynumbah7]

As for the first question, I didn't. They defined it themselves. That's part of giving statistics, even rough ones. In other words, don't superimpose your own opinion over anothers' when relating specifics of identity instead of observed behavior (as opposed to reported behavior). One of the reasons being someone's behavior is more than you see in the hour, hour and a half that you're with them for. As an example.

And if you're mulling over me typing the non-disparity of 'gay guys saying they're straight to get laid on craigslist', call it both a hunch due to the overwhelming number of gay men saying they want to fuck a straight guy combined with the overwhelming number of gay men complaining that they're not getting laid by attractive men, in particular all those attractive straight fantasies that so much gay male porn is built around. Meanwhile, I don't see the reverse as straight men more often than not wants pre hormone pre surgery ftm's. In other words, they want to close their eyes and pretend.

 

[MoufOfKhaos]

Yes, because race and sexuality really are the same, and therefore totally fair game to compare...

In this case, they are. Get off your pedestal and try finding the point. I know it's hard for some of you to do that.

 

[LuckysRevenge]

At this point people are arguing about totally different things.

 

[medic1]

^Indeed! Welcome to yet another clusterfuck of a bisexual thread. Still only a few more days then a member will start the old cut/uncut
topic, again. We can all start again in that one................

 

[EJMichaels]

At this point people are arguing about totally different things.

Seems appropriate for a thread on "bisexuals".

I think there have been a lot of worthwhile posts, fine additions to the 40 other bi threads I've subscribed to.

 

[dereperez]

I can always count on this thread growing another page when I wake up the next day. It hasn't disappointed yet!

 

[xbuzzerx]

You're a mixed-race guy, Buzzer, that right? Would it not piss you off to no end if someone told you "you look more XYZ than ABC, so that's what you actually are. And that's what you should tell people you are."

There have always been people who do exactly that. However I can confidently say it wouldn't "piss me off no end" because people who say so are wrong and I can very easily shuffle out my parents or pics of them. However, I really have no say at all in how I'm described by third parties racially. Even today people rarely say "oh this mixed guy..." about mixed people, they pick one easy racial box and use that one.

I'm bisexual. I'm not gay; if I was, I'd say so. That's my motivation. It really is that simple, and hopefully that too is clear enough.

None of my comments were accusations at you or anyone else personally... and, if they didn't apply to you, I don't see why you would take them as personal accusations, or get massively pissed off about them for 10 days.

Somehow when people discuss flaky gay men, promiscuous gay men, gay men who intentionally infect others with HIV, gay men who falsely pretend to be straight or anything else... I don't take personal offense to that as some kind of accusation at me personally as a gay man. None of them are true of me personally, so why would I?. Why does it always work the opposite way with bisexual guys?

 

[xbuzzerx]

Actually I've seen this point in some form at least a couple of times in this thread, and it needs to be addressed head on.

The prejudice in society is against minority sexualities. It is not directed against gays while sparing bisexuals.

"Moderately phobic friends neighbours, relatives and co-workers" do not find bisexuality more relatable than homosexuality. The only prejudiced people who think bisexuality is "somewhat relatable" would be the closeted gay guys who pretend to be bi, in the false hope that staking out an interest in the odd tittie will be enough to salvage their reputation in the eyes of other prejudiced people.

Have you ever known a hot/popular girl who claimed to be bi?

If you have, you wouldn't even say with a straight face that what she faces and what a male coming out as gay faces are similar let alone identical.

 

[xbuzzerx]

In this case, they are.

People largely can't really hide of obfuscate their race as far as widely recognized phenotypical traits... skin color, features, etc. Some people can... and many of them do. I suspect there are a lot more people, especially in the South, with at least some small tributaries of black blood in them than is ever announced publicly.

People can, however, obscure ethnic origin. And they very widely do so based on whatever social pressures or attitudes are acting on people's perceptions of certain groups at any given time.

Sexuality is far more comparable to ethnicity than to race. There's some unknown percentage of all non-straight people who can be largely identified as "probably not straight" when people meet them. And a lot more that you can't tell. But you can't "scan" everyone and tell what their sexuality or their sexual attractions are.

Pointing out that many gay men hide their homosexuality and identify as straight, sometimes even awkwardly so when everyone around them "can tell" that they are gay, is simply a known and accepted given. It's not controversial to point out, it doesn't raise any eyebrows.

Point out that some percentage of bi people are obviously doing the same thing, and it produces a mass response ranging from mild contempt to storm-off rage.

It would be great to know where or how this different reaction is coming from. I've avoided leaping to the seemingly most simple explanation that "it hits a nerve in MOST bi people, rather than just a few of them."

 

[Rolyo85]

Earth. What the hell makes you think I meet them all online and that I keep a running tally of everything else? Hell, the tally on gender was rough, the only reason I can tell the straight from the bi and gay apart is that after so many straight men screwing up I ditched the great bulk of them. Tends to make their numbers low, considering they were thrown overboard not too long ago. And no, you're not getting the names or places of any hangouts I happen to have, online or off. I'd rather you didn't visit, you see. Among other possible consequences. Just because there's quite a few trans people in the city doesn't mean I'm going to volunteer where I float around.

Ew, why would I want to visit?

But of course, what you say is totally worthless claim if you're not gonna provide any context.

You've never had sex with straight men btw.

 

[Rolyo85]

In this case, they are. Get off your pedestal and try finding the point. I know it's hard for some of you to do that.

Aw, she tried sarcasm ^_^

They're really not. Race is what you are. In Buzzer's case he couldn't be any more or less his racial mix if he wanted to. BUT he could lie about it. And THAT is what the point actually is here.

 

[Rolyo85]

There have always been people who do exactly that. However I can confidently say it wouldn't "piss me off no end" because people who say so are wrong and I can very easily shuffle out my parents or pics of them. However, I really have no say at all in how I'm described by third parties racially. Even today people rarely say "oh this mixed guy..." about mixed people, they pick one easy racial box and use that one. None of my comments were accusations at you or anyone else personally... and, if they didn't apply to you, I don't see why you would take them as personal accusations, or get massively pissed off about them for 10 days. Somehow when people discuss flaky gay men, promiscuous gay men, gay men who intentionally infect others with HIV, gay men who falsely pretend to be straight or anything else... I don't take personal offense to that as some kind of accusation at me personally as a gay man. None of them are true of me personally, so why would I?. Why does it always work the opposite way with bisexual guys?

Right? Never felt like I needed to defend myself when people attack party scene flakes...

 

[Rolyo85]

Pointing out that many gay men hide their homosexuality and identify as straight, sometimes even awkwardly so when everyone around them "can tell" that they are gay, is simply a known and accepted given. It's not controversial to point out, it doesn't raise any eyebrows. Point out that some percentage of bi people are obviously doing the same thing, and it produces a mass response ranging from mild contempt to storm-off rage. It would be great to know where or how this different reaction is coming from. I've avoided leaping to the seemingly most simple explanation that "it hits a nerve in MOST bi people, rather than just a few of them."

And THIS ^^* is really the core of the problem here.

 

[Gentleheart]

Pointing out that many gay men hide their homosexuality and identify as straight, sometimes even awkwardly so when everyone around them "can tell" that they are gay, is simply a known and accepted given. It's not controversial to point out, it doesn't raise any eyebrows.

Point out that some percentage of bi people are obviously doing the same thing, and it produces a mass response ranging from mild contempt to storm-off rage.

It would be great to know where or how this different reaction is coming from. I've avoided leaping to the seemingly most simple explanation that "it hits a nerve in MOST bi people, rather than just a few of them."

Exactly.


I don't understand why some people are trying to turn this shit into rocket science.

Y'all have more patience than me though, because I just can't with the bullshit.

People have spent pages upon pages trying to argue shit that stares us in the face (unless you live in a cave and never venture outdoors) on a daily basis.

If the shoe doesn't fit...don't wear it. And bitching about it isn't going to stop the people who do WEAR those shoes from getting read.