What if you only think you like guys?

[clicker]

Wow. This certainly raises a lot of questions for me, too. I'm mostly gay(Kinsey5) but have desired girls/women up until late high school (I'm 42 now). My lust for guys kicked in late high school, and afterwards felt an exclusive attraction to guys to this very day. I would love to have a desire for women again, but i would never want to be without same sex attraction. Maybe I'm bi-curious? hmmm....

 

[rareboy]

Try it.

Then come back and tell us if your dick was just messing with you.

 

[racer2438]

Thats the only way your going to know it to

TRY IT as rareboy said above

THen see what you like most. Who knows it may be gay/bi

 

[AsianDream]

I hope this rambling rambling post makes sense. What are the chances my dick is simply messing with me?

I think you're dick probably knows what you want more than any rational logical thoughts you might have.

I've come to a similar situation - but from the opposite direction - being exclusivily gay and then finding an interest in girls.

I've tried to think about it logically - but at the end of the day - I think if something makes you horny - then you can't really deny it.

I guess sometimes people may decide not to do anything about it - especially if the idea that excites them may be harmful to others or goes against their beliefs.

Like quite a few guys have a sexual desire for other guys - but decide not to act on it. This isn't "living a Lie" - civilized people are perfectly capable of having a desire to do something and never doing it.

 

[andofourteen]

If you can, I think you should try experimenting with a guy. Just tell him your feelings about it beforehand. I'm sure there are plenty of gay guys willing to help you out and wouldn't be hurt if it turns out you didn't really like it.

 

[jasoncrew03]

I may not be the best person for your specific case because, at least currently, I do not have the capacity to date men; I just don't have romantic feelings towards men, but I think I can help by sharing my story.

Much as the same way as you, my bi "switch" just flipped on one day. I was at the mall with my older sister when I was 15 and I just saw this guy and found him very attractive. I asked my sister if she thought he was and she said "YES!" and she then asked why. I told her "Because I do too." She asked me if I was bi and I said "Well I guess so." Some people don't believe me for some reason but that's honestly how it happened. I thought maybe it was just that guy, like a man crush or something, but as I started looking around I found I was attracted to multiple men in the room. So I went home and jacked off to see if it was just hormones or whatever, after that I googled pictures of "hot men" and found almost all of them just that. So I said to myself, "Let's put this to the test." I went to a club with my sister about 3 weeks later, found an attractive guy I guessed was gay (I guessed right), flirted with, drank with, and had sex with. Been having sex with men too ever since.

So, I guess the cliff notes version is "You'll never know until you try." But I can tell you one thing, I've never met a straight man who's gotten bored of women.

 

[DJ1990]

Everybody is different.
Really.
When I started going through puberty, I started being really attracted to older men.
NOT GUYS..JUST OLDER MEN. Guys my age did nothing for me.

Then it went away for a few years...I was only into women. Occasional attraction to a guy.
And then maybe a year ago..it's like all my feelings for women just went away,
and now I am all about men....and I am a 100% bottom too.

 

[Nomenclature]

I used to talk to a guy who was very bi-curious, and was very aroused by the thought of experimenting with a guy. One day, he gets a blowjob from a guy and immediately realizes that he's straight.


Just because a certain sexual act SOUNDS hot, doesn't necessarily mean that you'll enjoy it in action. It's just a fact of life.

 

[MindBlast]

Yeah pretty worried that this is me.

Why are you worried? It's not like the guy will be devastated if you tell him you didn't really enjoy it. Just preface the whole thing with the fact that it's your first time, and you don't really know if you'll like it. Try and be upfront.

 

[AsianDream]

I used to talk to a guy who was very bi-curious, and was very aroused by the thought of experimenting with a guy. One day, he gets a blowjob from a guy and immediately realizes that he's straight.

Just because a certain sexual act SOUNDS hot, doesn't necessarily mean that you'll enjoy it in action. It's just a fact of life.

I think that's probably true - the fantasy of doing something sexual you've never done need not mean you'll like it for real.

Also sometimes actually doing something sexual for real makes you want it when you didn't before.

I'd say the best place to experiment is a gay sauna (bath house). It gives you the chance to just "fool around" a little bit - and no one will be ofended if you say no or stop after the first few minuites.

Depending on how many guys are fully naked (most at least in a steam room) - you can actually get some sort of idea if you like the feel and smell of mens bodies - what it feels like to stroke another guys hard dick. Amost certainly find a guy willing to suck you - without having to do it in return.

 

[ReowTiger]

I'm going through the exact same thing as you at the moment.

My issue is though, yes I know that gay porn turns me on more than straigh porn, but when I think seriously about it, I'd prefer to screw a girl than to have sex with a guy.

 

[beachbody123]

^ I was the same way. Had a serious gf for 3 years. Thought it was only a little fantasy to be a guy and after jacking off i was disgusted by it. Once you start doing stuff with guys, you get addicted. A man can give a better bj, and just doing sexual things with a guy is a way better feeling. Im pretty much gay now.

 

[Nomenclature]

Yeah pretty worried that this is me.

I told this story in my First Kiss thread in Hot Topics, but I was really worried that my attraction to guys was something that was just in my head, too. I felt this way until I had my first kiss with a guy and realized "Okay, I enjoy this." Later, I had my first actual hook-up with a guy, and it really wasn't that good of an experience. . .I was a little lost, but I figured "Okay, so I didn't HATE the experience, so I at least know i'm not straight. . ." Soon after that, I met a college guy I hit if off with, and learned that I really, really enjoyed making out, cuddling and sucking a guy's dick if I was comfortable and liked him. We even talked about going out, and I think it was solidified in my head when I realized "Okay, so I enjoy kissing and having sex with a guy, and now I know that i'm capable of going out with a guy; that it can go to the next level. . ."


But I didn't know ANY of this until I took that chance and had that first kiss.

You've said the attraction is there, but you really aren't going to know until you experiment for yourself. You don't have to go any further than you're comfortable with at the very beginning, but a kiss is a good place to start. Wait to find someone who won't rush you into going further than that. My suggestion is that, if you start to let yourself be known to them as a "curious straight guy". . . and NOT "bi" or "bi-curious". . .you'll basically have a crapload of gay men at your feet, and will have your choice of who you want to try it with; gays are really turned on by a curious guy who wants to experiment at his own pace, and when it comes to acting out this fantasy, they'll be surprisingly easy and friendly for you to deal with.

 

[jasoncrew03]

if you start to let yourself be known to them as a "curious straight guy". . . and NOT "bi" or "bi-curious". . .you'll basically have a crapload of gay men at your feet

Those were great times.

 

[Nomenclature]

So the conundrum is if I'm straight gay guys will be all over me but if it does turn out I'm bi it'll be like "Bleh, old news"?

JEEZ THIS JUST KEEPS GETTING WORSE AND WORSE haha.

hahaha If they ever ask, lie and tell them that they turned you gay.

 

[jasoncrew03]

So the conundrum is if I'm straight gay guys will be all over me but if it does turn out I'm bi it'll be like "Bleh, old news"?

JEEZ THIS JUST KEEPS GETTING WORSE AND WORSE haha.

No, they (most likely) won't write you off just because you're bi. They just like straight guys because it's the "forbidden fruit". Just tell them it's your first time and it'll be smooth sailing.... unless of course you prefer the "rough waters" like me ;P

 

[alli-berri]

I told this story in my First Kiss thread in Hot Topics, but I was really worried that my attraction to guys was something that was just in my head, too. I felt this way until I had my first kiss with a guy and realized "Okay, I enjoy this." Later, I had my first actual hook-up with a guy, and it really wasn't that good of an experience. . .I was a little lost, but I figured "Okay, so I didn't HATE the experience, so I at least know i'm not straight. . ." Soon after that, I met a college guy I hit if off with, and learned that I really, really enjoyed making out, cuddling and sucking a guy's dick if I was comfortable and liked him. We even talked about going out, and I think it was solidified in my head when I realized "Okay, so I enjoy kissing and having sex with a guy, and now I know that i'm capable of going out with a guy; that it can go to the next level. . ."


But I didn't know ANY of this until I took that chance and had that first kiss.

You've said the attraction is there, but you really aren't going to know until you experiment for yourself. You don't have to go any further than you're comfortable with at the very beginning, but a kiss is a good place to start. Wait to find someone who won't rush you into going further than that.

Aw Cute story, and great advice. I completely agree based on my own experiences... especially when you mentioned sucking the dick of a guy you like, and are comfortable with. I've found virtually no pleasure in sucking off somebody that I can't relate to, but pleasuring guys that I care about makes me see colors!

Take it slowly, for sure. Approach gayness as innocently and carefully as you probably did straightness. "First kiss"... touching... etc. The best hookup guy, in my opinion, will be somebody who's at a similar point in their journey that you are. Hooking up online or getting down with somebody just to experiment will not teach you much other than how to feel like a slut. Well, that's how I felt. Don't just get sexual, get intimate. This will make for better memories, which might help validate your fantasies as something other than boredom.

 

[clicker]

Aw Cute story, and great advice. I completely agree based on my own experiences... especially when you mentioned sucking the dick of a guy you like, and are comfortable with. I've found virtually no pleasure in sucking off somebody that I can't relate to, but pleasuring guys that I care about makes me see colors!

Take it slowly, for sure. Approach gayness as innocently and carefully as you probably did straightness. "First kiss"... touching... etc. The best hookup guy, in my opinion, will be somebody who's at a similar point in their journey that you are. Hooking up online or getting down with somebody just to experiment will not teach you much other than how to feel like a slut. Well, that's how I felt. Don't just get sexual, get intimate. This will make for better memories, which might help validate your fantasies as something other than boredom.

So true, Alli-berri, I relate. What fantastic advice!

 

[clicker]

Meh, well, like I said I think it'll be awhile before I get results. I have no desire for hook up sites, too robotic. I'd want it to be SOMEWHAT organic, like someone I've met at a party or something at least. I like the whole build up to these things (at least with women) and I don't like the idea of sending an email like "OK WHERE ARE MEETING UP TO FUCK?"

But I'll admit that the idea of being the doe-eyed straight guy for some gay guy I know or meet is actually a big turn on now that it's been mentioned. It's actually my number one gay fantasy, to have some guy hitting on me thinking I'm straight and then me being like "yes plz" when we're alone and then making him cum. I don't even care if he gets me off in the fantasy. Also the idea of being submissive for a guy factors greatly into it, but obviously it's not something I'd want to jump into my first time.

^^^^^^And still questioning my bisexuality somehow.

I love your honesty and open-mindedness. just be careful, buddy. You sound like a great guy. Would love an experience like that!

 

[evanrick]

i think you like guys but dont like the idea of being "gay". i think society tends to force us into behavior just because its whats expected.